Listening to Love

by Beth Wiseman

  “Nee, nee.” She waved him off. “I got this, sohn.”

  “Let me help, Mamm. I don’t have anything else to do right now.” He sounded pitiful. Maybe he needed a little motherly love, even if she’d been against him seeing Natalie.

  His mother turned to face him, then cupped his cheek. “You will recover from this, sohn. It will just take time.” She patted his cheek before she reached for another towel.

  Lucas stifled the urge to tell her he would never get over it. But maybe his mother was right. She’d been right about him getting too close to Natalie. Everyone had been right. Except for him and Natalie.

  They didn’t say anything for a while. Lucas welcomed the quiet time with his mother, a rarity in such a large family. The girls would be back from the bake sale shortly, and Abram was due home from school any minute. Things would be bustling soon enough.

  A few minutes later, sure enough, Lloyd and Ben came out of the barn carrying a large rocking chair. They loaded it on a small trailer. After they readied the horse and hooked the trailer to the buggy, Lloyd hollered, “We’re taking this to Reuben. Be back soon.”

  Lucas was tempted to abandon his mother to go with them, but he didn’t have the heart to leave her with the rest of the laundry. He was hanging the last towel when he heard a loud scream. He froze. It took him two seconds to figure out what he’d heard, then he sprinted across the yard. “Natalie!”

  He ran across the field as fast as he could. That horse was dragging Natalie around like a mop, her blonde hair flying every direction in the dirt, her foot caught in the stirrup. He jumped the barbed wire fences he usually walked around—he’d never thought he could get over them. Then she screamed again as he reached the arena at the same time as Natalie’s mother, who was crying hysterically right along with Natalie.

  Lucas pushed Cecelia out of the way and opened the gate. He moved slowly, his palms held up and facing the horse. The horse bucked, and Natalie screamed again, covering her face as a hoof landed right beside her.

  “Natalie, be quiet.” He spoke in a firm whisper. “You need to relax.”

  She was shaking so badly, he didn’t know if that was possible.

  As he moved toward the beast, it became more agitated and swung Natalie around again, causing her to cry out. Lucas saw blood on her arms and face but couldn’t tell how bad her injuries were. He had to get her foot free.

  “Hey, fella.” Lucas spoke softly and inched closer to the horse.

  “Lucas, Lucas.” Cecelia spoke through her sobs in a loud whisper. “Look behind you.”

  When he turned, he saw his mother in the field. She held up her right hand and circled it three times. Lucas knew exactly what that meant. He positioned himself so he would be ready to grab Natalie before the horse fell. He’d have less than ten seconds to free her foot.

  His mother took the shot, and Natalie and Cecelia screamed. Lucas bolted toward Natalie, praying for strength—and a few extra seconds to wiggle her foot out of the stirrup. She wailed in pain as he struggled to free her, the horse about to drop. He yanked her foot again, freed it, and pulled her to safety—and not a second too soon. The horse fell with a loud thud, causing dust to cover them.

  She jumped into his arms, knocking him to the ground. When he sat up, she clung to his shirt with both hands and buried her head against his chest.

  Lucas grabbed both of her shoulders and pushed her away. “Where are you hurt?” Her lip was swollen and bleeding, and there was blood in her hair.

  “I don’t know,” she said as she curled up in his lap. He wrapped both arms around her and held her as she sobbed. Cecelia was on the phone with a 911 operator. In the distance, he saw his mother limping toward them.

  “Is the horse dead?” Natalie whimpered though her tears.

  “Nee, he’s not dead. It’s a tranquilizer gun.” He tried to ease her away again so he could see if her ankle was broken or if she was bleeding anywhere else, but her hold on him indicated she wasn’t letting go anytime soon. He kept his arms around her as she cried, one hand cupping the back of her head as her face remained buried in his shirt.

  “Natalie . . .” Her mother had ended the call and come into the arena. She laid a hand on her daughter’s back. “Honey, come here.”

  Natalie clung even tighter to Lucas. He saw his mother out of the corner of his eye holding the tranquilizer gun, and in the distance his father, Eli, and Jacob were yelling, asking if everyone was okay as they rushed across the field.

  Lucas remained sitting in the dirt, rocking Natalie in his lap. “I love you. I love you so much.” He kissed the top of her head, then each temple, and when she finally looked up at him, tears pouring down her face, eyes still wild with fear, he kissed her tenderly on the side of her lip that wasn’t bleeding. “I love you. I love you.” He couldn’t seem to tell her enough as he rocked her, gently pushing hair away from her face.

  He heard sirens in the distance. Cecelia had squatted down next to them, but Natalie wouldn’t let go of Lucas.

  And he would never let go of her again.

  Chapter 11

  Helen perched on the edge of her bed and wished she had more of the ibuprofen Cecelia had given her. Eli had brought over a buggy and driven her home from Moses’s house, but her trek across the field left a pulsing pain in her hip the rest of the afternoon and into the evening.

  “So, the girl will be okay?” Isaac lifted himself to a sitting position and yawned.

  Helen twisted to face him as she took off her kapp and began removing the pins in her hair. “Ya. The paramedics said she has a lot of bruising, a busted lip, and a sprained ankle. It’s nothing short of a miracle that she wasn’t hurt worse.” She began to run a brush through her hair. “But we have lost Lucas to the Englisch world.” Her voice cracked as she forced herself to say the words aloud.

  Isaac groaned as he shook his head. “Ach, Helen, you can’t be sure of that.”

  “Ya, I can.” She placed her brush back in the drawer and crawled beneath the covers. “You arrived not long after I did, and you saw the way they were together. I’m sure the child was in shock, but she stayed curled up in Lucas’s lap. She wouldn’t even have anything to do with her mother. Lucas told her over and over again how much he loved her, right in front of Cecelia and me. And that girl clung to him, trembling. I felt sorry for her, but I felt even more despair knowing Lucas will be stepping off the path Gott chose for him.”

  Isaac was quiet for a while before he gently nudged her, and in the dim light from the lantern, she saw the corners of her husband’s mouth crinkle as he grinned. “Had you ever shot the tranquilizer gun before?”

  Helen snuggled up against him until she found a position with the least amount of pressure on her hip. “Nee. But I’d seen you and the boys use it, and it was in the barn. I knew I could get there the fastest even though my hip slowed me down.” She laughed a little. “After I took the shot and the horse fell, I couldn’t move for a while. I just stood there in the field shaking all over, thinking how I could have hit Lucas, the girl, or her mother.” She paused. “If it had to be someone, I’d have chosen the mother, I think.”

  Isaac chuckled. “She would have been sore and had a nasty headache when she woke up, but she would have been all right.”

  “Cecelia demanded to ride in the ambulance with her daughter, but Natalie wanted Lucas to go instead. She pleaded with the paramedics to allow him to do so. Cecelia actually stomped her foot and yelled at Lucas to move, telling the paramedics that she was family.” Helen shook her head. “Lucas said, ‘I’m her family too,’ so firmly that Cecelia shut up, and the paramedics agreed to let him go because Natalie’s blood pressure was rising. His love and need to protect that girl is strong.”

  “Then we can’t fight it, Helen. Lucas isn’t baptized. He won’t be shunned from the community, so we will still see him.” Her husband eased an arm around her and pulled her closer. “What did Moses say when he got home and saw his horse laid over?”

 
“He didn’t see a thing. Cecelia followed the ambulance in her car, and I offered to wait at Moses’s haus until he got home so he wouldn’t think someone killed the horse or call a vet or Big Rudy. I waited two hours, and Moses still wasn’t home. The horse was back on its feet, so I filled a bucket with oats and left it some water.”

  “I guess Cecelia will give Lucas a ride home?” Isaac reached for a tissue by the bed and blew his nose.

  “Ya, I guess. I didn’t hear which hospital they were taking Natalie to. Probably the one in Bedford, so Lucas might call a driver.” She looked at Isaac and lifted his chin closer to the flickering light. “You’ve got some color back in your face. Are you feeling better?”

  He coughed a little. “Ya, I just needed a little rest to fight off whatever bug I picked up. Eli and Jacob said this afternoon that they’re feeling better too.”

  “That’s gut.” Helen kissed Isaac on the cheek. “I think I need a warm glass of milk and a sugar cookie. I’ll try to be quiet when I come back to bed.” She picked up her robe, then turned on her flashlight and extinguished the lantern so her husband could sleep.

  “Helen . . .”

  “Ya?” She slowed her pace, shining the light at her feet.

  “I’ve been married to you for a long time. I know when you are trying to hide your feelings. But Lucas must make his own way.”

  Helen felt like she’d been to battle and lost. “I know,” she said softly as she made her way to the kitchen. She sat at the table and stared into the darkness, then let the tears spill.

  * * *

  Natalie woke up the next morning in an unfamiliar bed, feeling like she’d been in a car accident. She lifted herself up on her elbows, looked around, and remembered she’d slept in her mother’s bed. She’d insisted on taking Natalie home with her when the hospital released her. Lucas had called a driver.

  The events of the day before rushed into her mind. The ordeal with the horse, Lucas, the ambulance ride, and finally getting released from the hospital around midnight. She lifted her arms out from under the covers and eyed the bruises. As she touched her swollen bottom lip, she wondered how bad the rest of her looked, but she wasn’t ready to crawl out of bed yet.

  Closing her eyes, she thought about Lucas. There should be no doubt in her mind that they would stay together. He’d told her repeatedly that he loved her and wanted to be with her. He said he would give up his Amish life to have a life with her, willingly and without regret. Natalie believed Lucas loved her, but she had doubts about him giving up the only life he’d ever known, without regrets. Maybe he meant it now, but what if he regretted it later?

  Her cell phone was on the nightstand, and her mother had even plugged it in. She picked it up and saw that she had seven texts. The first one was from her father late last night.

  Nat, I love you, and I’ll be there first thing in the morning. Mom says you’re okay, but I’m coming anyway.

  There were two texts from Mary this morning. The first one read, Lucas let us know what happened. We love you. The second, Please come to supper Friday if you feel up to it.

  The last four texts were from Lucas. She’d been loopy from the pain medicine last night and fell right to sleep when she got into her mother’s bed. In succession, the texts read, I love you so much, but I’m sure you are still sleeping, so I won’t call this early, then, I’ll call you later when I can talk, next was, I’m crazy in love with you, and finally, You are the only person for me. I love you.

  She wrote back, I love you too. Library Wednesday at three?

  In less than a minute, her phone dinged. Can’t really talk right now, but ya, I will be there. Love you.

  Natalie forced herself to sit up, even though her head was spinning. She was wearing one of her mother’s nightgowns, but she didn’t even remember getting out of her bloody clothes, which were already laundered and folded on the dresser. Was her mother up all night, or did she get up early to wash the clothes? She glanced at the time on her phone, and her eyes widened when she saw it was nine thirty. The moment she stood, she realized she wouldn’t have been able to go to class today anyway. Putting pressure on her ankle hurt, and when she lifted the nightgown, she saw bruising up and down both legs. Her knees were weak as she hopped on one foot to her mother’s bathroom and looked in the mirror. “Wow,” she said softly.

  Her lip was super swollen on the right side, but at least there weren’t any stitches. She had a bruise on her cheek and the beginning of a black eye. Thank You, God, for not letting it be worse. She’d been so stupid to get on that horse. She’d thought if she could do something successfully involving animals, or face a fear, maybe there was still a way to become a veterinarian. She was so unsure about school and what her future held, but knowing Lucas would be a part of it gave her comfort.

  Natalie heard voices coming from somewhere, but they were muffled. It took awhile for her to get dressed. Every movement caused an ache somewhere on her body. Once she had clothes on, she hobbled down the hallway, then into the living room.

  “Hey, baby.” Her mother hurried over to hug her.

  “Ow, Mom.” She wiggled out of the embrace, and her mother stepped back and made room for Natalie’s father.

  “I’m not going to manhandle you the way your mother just did.” He smiled and kissed her on the cheek. “Do you feel as bad as you look?”

  “Thanks, Dad.” She tried to smile, but her swollen lip wouldn’t allow it. “I hurt everywhere.”

  “What in the world made you try to ride a horse that a professional couldn’t even stay on?” He frowned. “You could have been killed.”

  Her mother let out a heavy sigh. “That’s what I asked last night. You scared me to death, Natalie.”

  “Well, it wasn’t a picnic for me either. It was a dumb thing to do, but I’d gotten the horse to trust me a little bit, and he actually did let me get on his back. Then he went nuts.” She eased herself onto the couch as she reached up and touched her swollen eye. “I think I’m going to have a big ol’ shiner.” Groaning, she laid her head back against the couch. Her parents stood next to each other and stared at her. It was the first time in a long while that they were in the same room together without yelling or her mother crying.

  Her dad finally sat down beside her, but her mother stayed standing, hands folded together in front of her. Uh-oh. They had talked, come up with a plan, or made a major decision about something. She’d seen these looks on their faces before. Natalie, your mother and I don’t want you seeing that boy in your math class. Natalie, please don’t dye your hair purple. Natalie, your mother and I are separating. Natalie, your mother and I are getting a divorce. And the list went on. Now, would it be, Natalie, your mother and I are getting back together?

  “Nat . . .” Her father took a deep breath.

  Here it comes. She closed her eyes.

  “Your mother said she’s been concerned about your relationship with Lucas. I mean, you do come from two entirely different worlds.”

  Natalie lifted her head and opened her eyes, although the right one didn’t want to cooperate due to the swelling. “Everyone has been worried about it, Lucas and me included. We tried to walk away from each other, but it only lasted three days.” Pausing, she realized that wasn’t entirely accurate. Lucas had actually walked away from her.

  She glanced back and forth between her parents. “We don’t want to be without each other, so we will go back to trusting God’s will for us.” In the back of her mind, she wondered if Lucas had acted out of duress.

  “What if Lucas isn’t willing to leave his people to be with you?” Her father narrowed his eyebrows into a frown. “Then what? Are you going to become Amish?”

  “He said he would leave the Amish world to be with me, without any regrets. And he won’t be shunned because he hasn’t been baptized yet.” Again, she wondered if yesterday’s event had brought forth emotions Lucas was trying to bury. But all of his follow-up texts . . . “Dad, Lucas and I will figure it out. Right now,
I feel like I’ve been run over by a train.”

  Her father grinned. “It was a horse.”

  “Ha-ha. I know.” Natalie held his hand when he reached for hers.

  “You’re right. Take today to rest.” After he squeezed her hand, he let go and stood. “I just had to lay eyes on my little girl and make sure she was in one piece.”

  “Banged up, but in one piece.” She eased her bare feet onto the coffee table.

  “I’ll talk to you later.” He turned to Natalie’s mother, gently held both of her upper arms, and kissed her on the cheek. “And I’ll talk to you later too.”

  Natalie waited until he was out the door before she crossed her bruised arms over her chest and stared at her mother, whose face was as red as the blouse she had on today. “What was that about?”

  She shrugged. “I’m sure he’ll call me later to check on you.”

  “I won’t be here. I’ll be at my apartment, and he can call me on my cell. I’m not a child.” She lowered her head and shook it. “Are you getting back together?” At least Natalie didn’t live here to witness any fighting that might be forthcoming.

  “We haven’t discussed that. Your father and I thought it might be best if you stayed here for a while, just until you’re feeling better.” Her mother smiled, as if their entire world hadn’t been turned upside down over the last couple of years, as if they were back to being a family again.

  “I wasn’t planning on staying here.” Natalie glanced at the clock on the mantel. “It’s after ten—don’t you need to go to work? You’re going to be late.”

  Her mother gasped a little. “Yes. You’re right. I do.” She paused, eying Natalie up and down. “But my hours are flexible. I feel like I should stay home with you.”

  Natalie shook her head slowly. Even that simple movement hurt, but she tried not to cringe so her mother wouldn’t decide to babysit her all day. It was a sweet offer, but Natalie would be more comfortable in her own bed. “Go to work, Mom. You need the money, and I’ll probably go back to my apartment.” Then she realized there was a problem. “Where’s my car?”