Wildflowers and Lace

by Caitlin Ricci

  Her text back took a few minutes. Maybe she’d been busy. I miss you too. I just got off the phone with my parents. They’re being shitty.

  What happened? Anything I can do? If she needed help, I wasn’t sure what I could really do for her, but I wanted to be there for her.

  They don’t approve of me dating you.

  I stared down at my phone. I didn’t know how close she was to her parents. I didn’t know how much their approval meant to her. What did it mean for us? So that means we’re...?

  Sure as hell not having dinner with them anytime soon. Have you seen The Help? Remember the poop pie? I might serve them that. I’m just pissed. I don’t really want to give my mom poop and pretend that it’s food. But right now I kind of do.

  I laughed. I was relieved. I didn’t need to know what they’d said to her, or what she’d said to them. It was enough that they weren’t supportive and Cindy wasn’t going to leave me because of their disapproval. I felt like I needed to tell her that. Thank you for not letting your transphobic parents get in the way of us.

  It wasn’t even that. We didn’t even get to that. As soon as I said hey, I’ve got a girlfriend named Lyssa do you want to meet her, that’s when everything went to hell. And apparently that’s where I’m going too according to my dad. Gavin is bi so I knew they had a problem with his sexuality when he told them in high school but that was fifteen years ago. I figured somewhere in that time they would have gotten over their crap at some point in their lives. But no of course not. I’m sorry. I thought they would have been all yay sweetie glad you’re with someone you care about enough to call your girlfriend instead of just someone to have sex with and then never call. But that was apparently too much to ask.

  It was a lot for me to take in. And I was smiling while I processed it. She’d introduced me as her girlfriend to her parents. That was...I was overjoyed. I’d never had anyone introduce me to their parents as me before. I want to see you soon.

  I’ll be home later tonight if you want to stop by.

  It’s a date.

  I got to Cindy’s condo about five. We’d never settled on a time, but I figured that would be good. I’d brought lilies. I wasn’t sure what kind of flowers said ‘hey, I really like you too.’ But I did like lilies.

  When I knocked on the door though the person who answered was not Cindy. It was a teenage boy who looked a little confused as to what I was doing there. “Uh. Hey?”

  I checked the door number again. I was at the right place. “Hi. Is Cindy home?” She hadn’t mentioned that her kid would be there, and that’s who I assumed I was meeting. In completely the wrong way, as well. This should have been a conversation with the three of us. Or dinner. Or something other than me showing up on his doorstep with flowers for his mom.

  “She’s not yet. She had to stay late. I’m not sure when she’s coming back either. Her phone died and she forgot her charger. So...” He looked behind himself. “Do you want to come in and wait for her? We’ve got pizza.”

  That sounded like an awkward mess. “I think I’ll just check back in with her later.”

  He shrugged. “Cool. So bye?”

  Definitely. “Yes. Bye. Thank you.”

  He closed the door on my face and I went shopping for a couple hours to clear my head and decompress from that encounter.

  At seven I came back and this time Cindy answered the door. There was also no sign of her kid.

  “Hey.” She kissed my cheek and took my hand, bringing me inside. She’d been crying, but she was smiling now, especially when I handed her the flowers.

  “I’m sorry your parents are hateful,” I said as I sat down on the couch beside her.

  She shrugged. “It’s okay. I expected better from them but really, it’s their loss. Thank you for the flowers.” Cindy had put them quickly into a tall mason jar with some water in it.

  She didn’t mention my earlier visit, so maybe her kid hadn’t said anything about me. “You’re welcome.” Movies were great and all, and I loved just hanging out with her, but I had been thinking about her all day.

  I turned to her and kissed her, then I moved my lips to her neck. Cindy pulled me close, her fingers curling tightly over my shoulders. She was in a skirt again, which made touching her bare thighs easy as she slid over my lap. She seemed to enjoy sitting on my lap. I didn’t mind. I liked having her there too. Especially since I’d decided to keep myself in front this time, and even though I had constricting clothes on underneath my dress, I still felt her heat as she rubbed against me. She sighed against my lips and I pushed my hands higher up her thighs.

  I expected to feel silk or lace, maybe even cotton. Something. But where she should have underwear on, I only felt skin. I ran my fingers around her hips and confirmed what I thought. She was naked under her skirt.

  Cindy stopped kissing me long enough to pull her skirt and shirt off entirely. It didn’t take her more than two minutes. Then she was naked across my thighs and I got my first really good look at her. Her full breasts, her round hips, every soft curve and gentle wrinkle.

  “Well?” she prompted me.

  I wanted to kiss her all over. I never wanted to stop touching her. I kissed her sternum as I wrapped my arms around her. Her body was everything that I wished mine was, and I took my time stroking my fingers over her.

  Cindy didn’t rush me. Maybe she understood. Or maybe she simply appreciated my soft touches and gentle kisses. Her breasts fit wonderfully in my hands. I ran my thumbs over her nipples and took each of them into my mouth. Cindy made the best noises. She was all softness and even though she didn’t say anything, I felt her need through her fingers each time she squeezed my arms.

  My breasts were only silicone inserts inside my bra, but I still pretended that her breasts were touching mine as I held her.

  I’d brought the condoms this time. I’d been hopeful that maybe we could get to this point, but I hadn’t been expecting it. I was amazed, especially as she reached for the front of my skirt. I helped her, though it took a little work on both my parts, but soon enough I was bare under her.

  Wordlessly I reached for my purse and I got a condom out. She helped me get my dress off, and then my bra, and then I was just there, sitting on her couch under her, totally naked in a body I didn’t love and wished I didn’t have.

  But Cindy just kissed me. She stroked my clit and I put the condom on myself. Then it was up to her when and how she wanted me inside of her. She kissed me. We didn’t need to speak. We just needed each other.

  Cindy helped me slide inside of her. I didn’t mind her leading us. I needed it, actually. I knew the mechanics. It wasn’t my first time with a woman. But for some reason I’d lost all sense of what I was supposed to be doing. I was wrapped up in my own head and thinking of how good I wanted this to be, and how much I wished my body was better and more mine, and how I hated my flat chest. But Cindy didn’t seem to mind my chest as she wrapped her arms around my shoulders and kissed me. She didn’t seem to care that I didn’t have her kind of curves as she sank over me and chose our pace. She didn’t hurry us. I didn’t feel rushed. She was gentle with me and I just held her, letting her get us there.

  I didn’t know how I’d been lucky enough to get to this point with her, and I didn’t know if I’d ever be able to be with her again after this. She could completely write me off for being horrible at sex. So I touched her all over. I squeezed her hips. I stroked her as she slid over me. I wanted her to love this, and if her soft moans against my neck were anything to go by, she definitely was.

  My pleasure built slowly. This wasn’t a quickie. I wasn’t in any hurry. When I came my orgasm went through my whole body and left me shaking. Cindy cried out and clung tightly to me when she came. I felt her go tight around me. I felt her trembling in my arms. I kissed her and laid her back on the couch. She crossed her hands on her stomach and smiled up at me.

  “Hey,” she said.

  I laughed and rubbed my
hand down her thigh. “Hey.” I needed to go clean up, but I wanted to stay there with her for as long as I could.

  Chapter Ten

  Cindy

  I knew I fell fast, but falling fast didn’t even come close to describing how I was feeling about Lyssa. I pretty much never introduced the people I dated to my kid, and I never talked about them either. My dating life and my family life were kept separate. I was very careful not to mix the two. No one so far had been important enough to introduce to my kid and get him thinking that someone new might be coming into our lives. He knew that I dated, but nothing more than that.

  But Lyssa was starting to make me want to change all of that. I wanted her to meet Kyle. I wanted to take her to game night with the family on Saturday. I’d always been careful to cut our dates short enough that I could still be at game night at Gavin’s each weekend, but I wanted to take her.

  First though, we were going to meet Dion. Best friend was a good step before ex-husband and kid. At least that’s the way I thought. And yet, as I got dressed for our date, I knew that it was unfair that I’d waited for her to introduce me to someone important to her before I did. I promised myself that if this dinner date went well, Lyssa would be meeting the two people who were most important to me as well.

  We met at an Italian restaurant. Dion had a rare evening off but, as Lyssa explained it, he wasn’t off all night, he was just going in later than usual. The restaurant wasn’t the best one I’d ever been to, but it was close to where we both lived and it had good food. And, as I realized when I got to the door and saw Lyssa talking to the hostess wearing a bright rainbow pin on her sweater, it was a restaurant where we would all be welcome as well. I put my arm around Lyssa’s back and she instantly turned to me and gave me a quick kiss. It wasn’t how friends would have greeted each other, and I kissed her back when she would have pulled away. It didn’t take more than that to get her to put her arms around me too. I even got a butt squeeze before someone cleared their throat.

  Lyssa pulled away and a guy probably in his late twenties with short, fluffy brown hair came forward. He smiled at both of us, and I wrapped my arm around Lyssa’s side as I turned to him.

  “Cindy, this is Dion. Dion, this is my girlfriend, Cindy,” Lyssa introduced us.

  I let go of her long enough to shake his hand. He had a gentle grip. And he was cute. Not my type, a little young for me in fact, even if I was single, but I could see him with one of Gavin’s brothers or cousins for sure. “Are you part of this community too?” I asked him.

  Dion grinned at me. “I am. Know of any cute single guys?”

  I knew quite a few in fact. “Maybe,” I teased him. I was always up for introducing a few single friends. I’d set Gavin up on a few of his dates in the past, actually. “My ex hosts game night at his house every Saturday. If tonight goes well I can probably get you an invite if you want.” And just like that, I’d invited them both to game night with everyone that I considered to be my family.

  Dion’s eyebrows shot up. “Your ex?” He looked from me to Lyssa as if waiting for some bombshell explanation.

  Lyssa nodded. “Cindy’s got an ex-husband. And a kid.”

  “Kyle.” I took out my phone and showed them both some photos. I had probably a hundred photos just taken in the past few months.

  Lyssa caught my gaze. “I think it’s nice that you’re still close. I’m sure Kyle appreciates that you two are still friends.”

  I hoped that he did. “We had to work really hard to get to that point. When our relationship disintegrated, we weren’t very nice to each other. We hid as much as we could from Kyle, but he’s never been a dumb kid. We’re great now, though. Gavin is my best friend and his family is still mine. They live on this big farm in Missouri that they split up into their own individual farms. I think you’d both love it. If you like open spaces and lots of animals of course.” I enjoyed it at least. The farm was one of my favorite places to be.

  Dion laughed. “We’ll see, for sure.”

  The hostess showed us to our table and I cuddled up next to Lyssa. This was a casual place with big portions and good prices. Not the fancy impress-everyone kind of place, but neither of us seemed to be that kind of person.

  I ate until I got full, and then I ate some more because we’d ordered a tiramisu for us all to share. Dion didn’t talk much, and he seemed pretty tired, but I was glad that he’d had the time off to spend with us.

  At the end of our night I wasn’t ready to say goodbye to Lyssa yet, but I knew I needed to talk to Gavin. I needed him to know just how important Lyssa was to me. I’d met the person most important to her now, and it was time that I did the same for her. I wasn’t worried about what Gavin would say. I knew he’d probably be surprised. But he was a pretty open and accepting person overall.

  “Do you want to come back to our place? Dion is going to go to work soon,” Lyssa asked me.

  I was so tempted, especially when she gave me a little smile that promised much more to come tonight. “I can’t...” Lyssa’s smile lost some of its brightness. “But I definitely want to.”

  “Do you already have plans?” she asked.

  “Kind of. I’m going to go tell Gavin about us.”

  She perked up at that, as did Dion. Lyssa hugged me and I kissed her. “Are you worried?”

  She was. I could tell that. But I really wasn’t. “It’ll be okay. I’m not worried about his reaction. My parents were bad enough. Gavin will be fine.”

  Lyssa cringed at the mention of my parents. Then she kissed me again. “So I’ll see you soon?”

  I nodded and gave her one last hug. “Absolutely.”

  Chapter Eleven

  Lyssa

  I anxiously awaited Cindy’s phone call. I wanted to know everything was okay. I was too worried about what Gavin might have said. Maybe it wouldn’t matter to her. But we were still so new and I didn’t know how much his opinion might really make a difference.

  Instead of a call, I got a text.

  Would you like to have lunch with me tomorrow? Gavin and Kyle will be there.

  My stomach instantly got tight. Everything went well then?

  Absolutely.

  Well that was a huge relief. Yes. I’d love to do lunch.

  We met Gavin and Kyle at a pizza place the next afternoon. My stomach was all twisted up and I’d had Dion redo my make up three times before he’d finally declared me done and refused to mess with my eyeshadow anymore.

  I’d bought a new gray dress for the occasion. It was sleek and sophisticated. I was afraid it made me look like I was going to a business meeting instead of on a date with my girlfriend, especially next to Cindy’s comfortable outfit of a shirt and leggings. Her shirt declared her to be the mom boss. I couldn’t shake the nerves that made me feel like I was going to a job interview, and not meeting my girlfriend’s ex-husband and their kid.

  “You’re shaking. Relax,” Cindy whispered to me as she took my hand and led me up the steps to the upscale pizza place. I’d never been there, but it smelled delicious and they had a sign showing that their pizza was wood fired, which I loved.

  “I’m nervous.”

  She turned and kissed my cheek. “Don’t be. You’re fine.”

  That was easy for her to say. This was her family we were meeting. She was so calm and easygoing. I was just all nerves and anxiety, and her reassurance wasn’t helping me any.

  Cindy held my hand as she led me to a booth in the back corner, then hugged the man who got up to greet us.

  “Gavin?” I guessed. His smile was warm and when he offered me a hug as well, I took it.

  “It’s good to meet you, Lyssa,” he said.

  Kyle got up too and gave me a wave. “Hey.”

  “Hi. To you both.” I really wanted them to like me, but I felt like I was trembling so much that they would be able to see it and think that I was just too nervous or high-strung for Cindy.

  We took our seats and so
me of my nervousness faded as we started to look at the menu and talk about topping options. They talked continuously, mostly about Kyle, while he and I both sat back quietly watching them, and each other. I was overwhelmed from my nerves but I caught bits and pieces. I didn’t mind not being included. It was enough just to have Cindy holding my hand and occasionally touching my thigh.

  “Do you like kids, Lyssa?” Gavin asked me when they’d eventually hit a lull.

  I had Cindy’s attention too, and I knew it was a loaded question with deep ramifications if I happened to say that I couldn’t stand anyone who wasn’t already an adult, especially with Kyle there. I got the feeling he didn’t meet many of the people his mom dated. Thankfully that wasn’t the case at all, I just hadn’t had a whole lot of experience with them. “Babies are fragile and scary, but I do like kids. I thought at one time that it would be nice to have one.”

  Gavin and Cindy shared a pointed look. Kyle took out his phone and started playing some game where he had to match the colors of balls to make them drop. “I could always babysit, or Kyle could too,” Gavin said with a little shrug.

  It took me a moment to understand what he was saying, and then when I did get it I was mortified. “Oh, I didn’t mean...I...” I shook my head. I hadn’t meant to imply that I thought Cindy and I should have children. I looked to her, expecting her to be upset with me about what I’d said, but she just smiled and leaned over to kiss me.

  “We can talk about that at some point if we’re both feeling it,” she told me.

  Did I want to talk about having a kid with her, though? I thought about her holding our child, carrying our child, and both of us loving our child and building a life for them, and I shocked myself with just how much I wanted that. I only nodded. I couldn’t speak at all.