Loving the Heartland

by Marjorie Jones

  “Great.”

  “And I’ll be copying all of the files for the website to the computer in your office this afternoon. Lenise is fully up to speed on how to make updates. The Internet connection is all set and this way we don’t have to worry about using the laptop all the time.”

  Because she’d go home eventually, and Kendra was expected to run things from here. Alone.

  “Are you okay?” Michelle’s voice held a note of real concern and Kendra glanced at her. She stood, half in and half out of her truck, and focused her eyes on Kendra. Her forehead was wrinkled. Nobody had ever really cared if she were alright.

  Everyone just assumed that she was.

  “Yeah,” she answered. “I’m fine.”

  “Well, let’s go get this done, shall we?”

  Together, they filled out the proper paperwork and submitted it for the judge. In the documents, they included a request for a restraining order against Harold Mason and anyone in his employ.

  In the papers, they basically accused Mason of cattle rustling, animal cruelty and outright murder. She’d be more than surprised if they weren’t laughed out of court.

  “For all the good it will do.” Kendra held open the door and guided Michelle through it with her hand on the small of her back.

  The contact sent a jolt through her. Would she ever get tired of touching Michelle? Even so innocent a gesture made her hot with wanting. Full of curves, soft and pliable, Michelle stole her concentration as much as she’d stolen her heart. She wanted nothing except to form Michelle to her body and make love to her, again and again. A part of her hoped she would grow tired of it. Letting her go would be so much easier that way. But it wasn’t going to happen any time soon. Every time she brushed against her, every time she held her, and every time she kissed her was like some new erotic experience. Most of all, Kendra didn’t want to worry about her problems when she touched Michelle.

  When Michelle held her back, Kendra didn’t have to worry.

  Chapter Fourteen

  “It’s really getting warm, ain’t it?”

  Kendra wiped the sweat from her forehead with the back of her long sleeve and replaced her hat before looking up at one of the new hands. She and Brent had hired so many over the past ten days, she still didn’t know them all. “Yep. It’s a scorcher.”

  “I don’t think we’ve met yet, boss. I’m Robert Jackson, but everyone calls me Jack. I just wanna thank you for the job.”

  “No problem.” Kendra narrowed her eyes. “You used to run with Kennedy Bastian, right?”

  “Yes, ma’am. Back in high school, we was like brothers, but the past couple of years, I’ve been working the mines out Colorado way and just got back to town. Too bad about Ken.” Jack shook his head and clicked his teeth.

  Yeah. Too bad.

  Did Jack know it was Kendra’s fault?

  “So, anyway, your brother has posted me on night watch duty and I just want you to know, ain’t nobody getting by me.”

  “Thanks, Jack. I’m sure you’ll do a fine job of it.” Kendra slapped the newcomer on the back in a show of confidence and then carried her saddle into the barn.

  Jack followed her. “You know, the thing is, it’s been like more’n a week, and I ain’t seen nothing. And the guys tell me that the herd has been fine for even longer’n that.”

  “Well, the man behind all this has a knack for letting us get comfortable for a while before livening things up. Just keep a close eye out. Don’t assume nothing is going to happen just because it’s quiet.”

  “Don’t fret, none. I’ll do what I’m paid to, and that’s a fact.”

  “Good. If you need anything just let us know.”

  Kendra left Jack in the barn and made her way back to the main house. Michelle should have lunch ready and her stomach growled. And not just for food. Her arms ached to hold her. Hell, it’d been almost four hours.

  A slight shiver ran over the back of her neck and impulse caused her to sneak a peek back to the barn. The new man stood in the open doors and leaned one shoulder against the jamb, a piece of straw clamped between his teeth, and stared at Kendra.

  Something about the man didn’t sit right with Kendra. She made a mental note to check on his background a little more closely.

  When she reached the kitchen, she washed her hands and put her hat on the rack by the back door. The table boasted several platters full of sandwiches, chips, pickles and potato salad. It looked like a regular family picnic and she smiled.

  Michelle breezed through the back door. Her skin glowed with the beginning of a tan from the time she’d spent out of doors over the past weeks. She looked healthy and happy and Kendra would give anything to keep her that way. Not once in the past several days had she mentioned going home.

  Neither had Kendra, of course. It was as if they both avoided the subject, talking about anything but that.

  Truth was, it seemed as if the restraining order had done the trick. Mason had been served with the papers eleven days ago, and not one cow had disappeared, not one piece of equipment had been tampered with and there had been no sign of trouble anywhere around the Heartland.

  She still didn’t believe it had worked. But she enjoyed the peace while she could.

  Right now, she wanted to enjoy a piece of Michelle. Michelle stole into her arms and kissed her cheek, as though she’d read her mind. Kendra’s heart sped up more than a little.

  “What have you got there?”

  “Flowers. For the table.”

  “Where did you get them?”

  “That little garden behind the shed. It’s just overrun with wonderful stuff, perfect for cutting.”

  “Ah. That was Mom’s.” When Michelle paled and made that tiny “O” with her lips Kendra added, “It’s okay, Michelle. It’s just some flowers.”

  “I just didn’t...”

  “Relax. It’s fine.” It was more than fine. Over the past days, she’d been so much a part of the ranch and everyday goings-on, it was like she’d always been there. Kendra couldn’t remember a time when Michelle wasn’t a part of her soul. “Mom would love that somebody’s using it. Really.”

  Like a herd of wild horses, the rest of the family barged through the kitchen door and surrounded the table. Lenise and Brad sat next to each other and Brad filled a plate for his young fiancé. He’d been falling all over her ever since the big news came out. She was only six months along, but Brad treated her like she was a month overdue. Lenise had barely started to show, too, as though the weight of the secret had been a huge belt, sucking in her belly and giving inhuman strength to her abs. Now that the shock had passed, she looked radiant.

  Regardless of the reasons, now that the whole family knew what was happening, the couple was perfectly adorable.

  Laughter and jokes filled the space when Lacey made some wise crack to Casey while Brent settled himself at the far end of the table.

  Leaning against the counter with Michelle pressed against her, she let the warmth of the sun through the window heat her back.

  Everything seemed so normal. Happy.

  Why couldn’t it just stay like this?

  A sliver of awareness ran up her spine. It wouldn’t stay like this, and if she wasn’t careful, she’d let her guard down.

  A small ache developed in her temples.

  Suddenly, it was too still; too quiet.

  Too... happy.

  Exactly what was Harold Mason planning next?

  

  “I really like that one, Lennie. It’s just like you described.” Lacey leaned forward in the small plastic chair in the dressing room of the only wedding shop in town and rested her chin in her hands.

  “I have to agree. It’s perfect.”

  “Y’all aren’t just saying that because you’re sick of me trying on dresses, are you?”

  Michelle laughed. Apparently Lacey was growing a little tired of the endless parade of cream and pink satin and lace, but the dress Lenise wore now really was ideal.
Michelle interjected, “No, of course not. The lines are terrific on your figure and you wanted pink, right? And those boots we saw at the western wear outlet will look fantastic with it.”

  “Does it hide the baby bump enough? I mean, the wedding is still two weeks away and I could be lots bigger by then. Maybe, we should just do a little courthouse thing?”

  “Don’t be silly, Len,” Lacey admonished. “You’re not the first girl in this county to get knocked up and hitched, in that order. You’re going to be beautiful and someday, none of the exact circumstances will even matter. Hell, nobody will even remember.”

  Lenise turned toward the tri-fold mirror and twisted back and forth a few times. She made a face and her shoulders slumped. “I just wish we had more time to choose. Four weeks isn’t a lot of time to plan a whole wedding.”

  Michelle’s heart sank. Lenise was right. In less than two weeks, they had sent invitations, put an ad in the local paper, ordered the food, hired someone to do the ceremony and planned the rehearsal dinner. Everyone was exhausted.

  Including Michelle, and she didn’t even know why she was involved in the planning. It was like everyone expected her to make decisions. Maybe it was the Vegas thing. She was metropolitan, so maybe they assumed she had her pulse on the fashion and party trends of America. They were wrong. She had two employees for that.

  Maybe it was because Lenise’s mother wanted no part of it. That must be the reason. The other women looked to her because she was the oldest female, not including Kendra who had suggested that the kids get married at the bowling alley and was immediately removed from all planning responsibilities. Of course, Michelle wasn’t an expert on weddings, either.

  Now, if it were her own wedding...

  Where had that thought come from? Michelle hid the tremble in her hands as she pulled a veil from the stand just outside the dressing room and put it on Lenise.

  She’d had dreams of her own wedding for as long as she could remember. Tons of food, family and friends gathered to celebrate the beginning of her life with the perfect... woman. Marrying a woman had been out of the question for so long she’d given up the dream a long time ago.

  But now?

  She tried not to frown, but it was hard – knowing that her life had begun years ago, without someone to share it with. She had relegated herself to the fact that lesbians could not marry each other in the United States. Just when she’d come to terms with it, marriage laws were changing all over the place, thanks to the courage and determination of others who hadn’t been so easily dismissed as she. She could get married in some states. In others, she could get a civil union – how romantic! She frowned.

  She sighed as an ache gripped her stomach. She had found the perfect person. She had found a reason to begin her real life. She had found a woman that she would do anything for, that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with, but there would be no wedding. No lavish affair where she and Kendra were the center of attention and everyone knew they were just perfect for each other. As much as she loved her, she would not spend the rest of her life with her. Kendra simply wasn’t interested.

  At least Brad and Lenise had a chance at happiness. At least they’d found each other before it was too late.

  “Am I doing the right thing, Michelle?”

  Lenise’s plaintive tone brought Michelle back to the tiny dressing area. The young woman’s eyes brimmed with unshed tears. “Oh, Lenise. I can’t answer that. Only you can know that for sure. But let’s look at this rationally. You love Brad. Brad loves you. Not that there is anything rational about love, generally speaking. But you were planning to get married in a few years anyway, right? And now, with the baby coming, you’ll be the perfect little family.”

  “But, I’m taking everything away from him. Everything he ever wanted. He was going to ride the rodeo circuit and be a national champion, like his father. And now, he says he doesn’t want to do that anymore. He claims he doesn’t want to leave me and the baby. But I know it’s just killing him.”

  Lacey approached and gave Lenise a hug from behind, while Michelle held her from the front in a pregnant-Lenise-sandwich. An official group hug. Michelle sniffed. She’d never had occasional for an official group hug in her entire life. “Don’t cry, baby. Brad is a big boy, and you didn’t do anything to him or take anything away from him. He will do what’s right by you, and the baby, and to some extent, for himself. You know why?”

  Lenise lifted her head and wiped her nose. “Why?”

  “Because he’s just like the rest of his family, that’s why. Especially Kendra.”

  “Yeah, they are a lot alike, huh?”

  “And another thing. You didn’t make this baby by yourself. Brad is just as much this baby’s parent as you are. Let yourself appreciate whatever sacrifices he makes, alright? That way he’s not making them for nothing.”

  Michelle caught Lacey’s gaze as she glanced over Lenise’s shoulder and frowned. “What?”

  “Are you talking about Brad, or yourself?” Lacey asked.

  “Well, Brad, of course.”

  “I’m just asking, because it sounded an awful lot like you were speaking from experience, or something.”

  Michelle hoped her face didn’t pale as the blood rushed to her feet. “Like how?”

  “Like loving my sister.”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  Lacey crossed her arms. “No more lying about it. Lenise, why don’t you get changed and Michelle and I will let the clerk know this is the one. We’ll meet you outside.”

  Michelle followed Lacey into the main showroom and almost ran into her back when Lacey stopped and turned around.

  “You love her, don’t you?” It was more of an accusation than a question. “I mean, head-over-heels-happily-ever-after love her. Have you told her that?”

  Michelle’s voice rested somewhere on the edge of a cliff she couldn’t see in the dark. Her vocal cords froze and her blood congealed in her veins. “I...”

  “You haven’t, have you?” Another accusation.

  Michelle shook her head. “I’ve tried, but—”

  “Does she love you?”

  “I don’t think so.”

  “How do you know?”

  “I’ve asked.”

  “You what?” Lacey spun and paced several feet away with her hands on her hips and her designer bag swinging from her wrist.

  “Well, not in so many words, but I tried to get her to admit she cared even a little something for me when I agreed to stay until this whole mess is over with. But she wouldn’t. And like a fool, I stayed anyway. God, I’m an idiot.”

  Lacey faced her again. “You are an idiot.”

  Michelle’s mouth fell open. She had expected support; a kind word from her best friend, a hug... something.

  “If you think for one second that my sister isn’t busting-a-gut-in-love with you, you’re the biggest idiot in the history of the world.”

  

  A bee hovered over the clear plastic lid on Michelle’s diet pop with lemon. Seated with Lacey and Lenise at a round table outside a small family-owned espresso shop on Randall City’s Main Street, she concentrated on the fact that her cheap, plastic lawn chair had one leg shorter than the rest.

  She peered beneath the scarred surface of the table. Maybe the sidewalk was uneven. A sigh threatened her lungs and she bit her lip.

  Lacey had a lot of nerve. Michelle refused to even look at her now, an hour after she’d made that hurtful comment.

  Kendra did not love her. Kendra had made that very clear, and Kendra got whatever Kendra wanted.

  It was none of Lacey’s business, anyway.

  A loud roar drew her attention to the street as a motorcycle pulled to a stop in the slanted parking space directly in front of them. Casey eased his long form off the bike and approached them.

  “Ladies,” he drawled, smirking in that boyish way that reflected the image of his older sister so closely that Michelle’s
heart jumped. “And you too, sis.”

  Lacey threw the crumpled wrapper from her straw in his direction, but it fell several feet short of hitting her twin brother. She elected to flip him off instead.

  “Love you, too,” he replied. To the entire table, he continued, “Kendra sent me to find you. Says you’ve been gone too long.”

  Lenise shrugged and Lacey rolled her eyes. “Go home and tell mother that we’re fine. Besides, I think everything is pretty much over with, don’t you? Personally, I’m ready to go home and pick up the remnants of my life, thanks.”

  Michelle didn’t miss the fact that Lacey looked directly at her, instead of her twin brother.

  “Come on, Michelle. Kendra wanted you to go back with me.”

  “Excuse me?” Michelle raised an eyebrow in her very best I-can’t-believe-you-just-said-that glare.

  Casey swallowed. “What I meant to say was, she asked me to give you a ride back to the Heartland.”

  “I’m not ready to go yet. I’ll ride back with the girls.”

  Who did Kendra think she was? Thoughts of her first impressions of the lonesome cowboi refreshed in her mind’s eye. Aloof. Powerful. Determined. Arrogant.

  The fact she knew she had a vulnerable side, and the rest of her outward appearance had been born from a need to always do the right thing failed to settle her nerves. Only her hand on her knee kept her heel from pile-driving a hole in the pavement.

  Kendra didn’t love her. Michelle didn’t owe her anything. And she certainly didn’t have to do as she was told.

  Lacey crossed her arms over her chest and sucked half her bottom lip between her teeth.

  Michelle wanted to scream. How had she ended up here? How had her very productive and busy life turned into a battle of wills in the middle of cow country?

  This morning, she’d been perfectly content with the prospect of spending whatever time she could with Kendra. She’d been perfectly willing to settle for what Kendra could offer, as temporary as it might be.

  Heat moved up the back of her neck and she rubbed the back of head where a sharp pain had suddenly developed.