Attempted Vampirism

by L. G. Estrella

  See the world, his pack leader had told him, pick up some leadership qualities. Hah! He was happy to see the world, all right, but not if it was going to be like this all the time. To be fair, the dark, mysterious forest around him would have looked truly majestic and imposing with its towering trees and dense undergrowth if it hadn’t been raining so hard he could barely see thirty feet ahead of him. Likewise, the mighty crags and ravines that lined the road would have gifted him with spectacular views if not for the torrential downpour.

  On the upside, he now knew what it was like to live in the ocean because that was how much water he’d been forced to slog through over the past week. The answer was simple: it was awful. Perhaps he really had been too lucky on the trip over here. He should have known something was going to go wrong when he hadn’t run into a single group of bandits. Life was all about balance, and with such good luck, something had been bound to go wrong. His lips twitched. All he needed now was to get struck by some lightning, or maybe a dragon could show up although he had a feeling that even a dragon would have found this much rain intolerable.

  Despite his best efforts, his mind kept drifting back to the rain. Everything was wet. Everything. His boots squelched whenever he took a step. His trousers and tunic only made him more miserable with how they clung to his skin and dripped everywhere. The few people he’d met on the road – the ones too stupid or too desperate to wait until the rain passed – looked even more miserable than him. Whenever he passed one of them, their eyes would meet and they would both nod as if to acknowledge their shared suffering. And then there was the noise. The sound the rain made when it hit things was everywhere. Lately, he’d even started hearing it in his dreams. Finally, though, he met someone who didn’t mind the rain, albeit for unexpected reasons.

  “Hello!” Eric shouted. The rain was deafeningly loud, but it was better to reveal his presence than to surprise someone who towered over him and was basically made of muscles. Oh, he could probably take him in a fight if he transformed – werewolves rarely lost in melee combat – but he wasn’t about to pick a fight in such bad weather if he could avoid it. “You seem to be enjoying the rain.”

  “Hello.” The reply came from an absolute giant of a merman whose scales glittered a deep, mesmerising blue. “I believe I am.” Unlike everyone else Eric had passed on the road so far, the merman seemed to be having the time of his life in the rain, and his whole being radiated ease and contentment. Eric grinned. This was likely the closest the merman would get to being back in the ocean while still being on dry land. The merman gave him a toothy smile. “This weather reminds me of home.”

  “As well it should.” Eric had seen plenty of mermen over the years, even fought a fair number of them too, but he’d never seen one this tall or heavily muscled before. They tended to have a somewhat sleeker build to go with their habitat. Moreover, they were currently hundreds of miles from the coast. Whoever this fellow was, he was certainly a long way from home. “I can’t say I’m too fond of it though.”

  The merman’s smile widened. Those teeth of his were very, very sharp. From what Eric could remember from his dealings with other mermen, the Deeps were home to many groups. Those with sharper teeth were supposedly more warlike, or at least more inclined toward hunting and other martial pursuits. Kelp farmers wouldn’t have needed teeth like that. “You know… you are the first person to speak more than a handful of words to me in more than a week. I think I worry people.”

  “Well, you have to admit that nobody expects to see a merman this far inland.” Eric pointed vaguely at the sky as the rain continued to pelt down. “And weather like this has a tendency to make people cranky. I’m actually surprised I haven’t stumbled across more bodies along the road. Being cooped up inside or being stuck in the rain for days on end can make even the most sane man consider murder.”

  “You make a fine point, but I handle the surface better than most of my fellows.” The merman inclined his head at Eric. “The same could be said of you and this rain.” He pointed at what passed for a nose amongst his kind. “But you’re not human, are you? I can smell it.”

  “I’m a werewolf,” Eric replied. “It seems only fair to tell you since your not being human is so obvious. Believe me, I don’t enjoy dealing with this much rain, but there’s no getting around it. Rather than get mad over something I can’t change, I’m simply trying to get by.”

  “Wise words.” The merman gestured. “Let me help you out then. [Control Water]. Consider it a gift for the conversation.” The Word surged past Eric, and the rain seemed to stop. No. That wasn’t quite right. The rain was still falling – it just wasn’t falling on him.

  “You can use Words associated with water? That sounds handy for a merman.” Eric gave a low whistle of appreciation. “But you should save your magic. I’m already drenched. Getting wetter won’t make much difference at this point although I do appreciate the gesture.” The rain resumed its normal course, and Eric began to walk again. To his surprise, the merman fell into step beside him. “So… where are you headed, my water-loving friend?”

  “I’m not sure,” the merman said. He held a trident in one hand, and from the impact it made when it struck the ground, Eric wondered if he could lift it without transforming. He couldn’t recognise what it was made of either. It was definitely metal, but not a metal he’d ever seen before. “I had hoped to see the surface world and to test my strength against strong opponents. Alas, I am currently low on funds.” He made a sound that Eric assumed was supposed to be a chuckle of amusement. It sounded more like a waterfall. “What passes for money amongst my people is not widely accepted on the surface.”

  “And what is that exactly?”

  “Shells from a rare magical sea creature that are essential to many forms of magic used by the people of the Deep.”

  Eric just barely managed to keep a straight face. “I can see why you’re having trouble. We do use a lot of magic on land, but I doubt it’s the same as yours.” Eric grinned and rubbed the fingers and thumb of his right hand together. “What you need, my friend, are some precious metals. I’m talking about good, old-fashioned copper, silver, and gold. You can’t go wrong with those three up here. They’re accepted the world over.”

  “If only it was that easy. I would be happy to work for a living, but finding a job has been difficult due to my appearance.”

  “Hah! I can imagine. Getting a job in a country run by vampires isn’t easy unless you know a good vampire, especially if you’re not from around here. I’ll tell you what, though.” Eric wasn’t sure why he was making the offer, but he had a good feeling about it, and his instincts rarely failed him. Besides, he’d been hoping to run into something interesting, and wandering around with a merman was bound to lead to interesting things. “You stick with me, and we’ll find work together. Two can find work more easily than one when it comes to adventuring or mercenary work, and although I’m a werewolf, this isn’t the first time I’ve had to earn a living in foreign lands. I know how to get by.”

  “What do you want in exchange?” the merman asked. “Our worlds may be different, but in both of them, you rarely get anything for free.”

  “I’ve been travelling for a long time now. I’ll be spending at least a few decades here, gods willing. I’d rather my time here be interesting. I think it’s safe to say that with you around, things will be interesting. The chance to earn some good coin doesn’t hurt either.” Eric paused. “Say… if you stopped the rain from hitting me, could you pull the water from my clothes as well?”

  “I could dry your clothes, but the experience might be a little… bracing.”

  “Hmm… I’ll keep that in mind.” Eric looked up at the merman. It wasn’t often that he had to look up to meet someone’s eyes. Like his scales, the merman’s eyes were a piercing blue. “What’s your name?”

  The merman made a series of strange noises.

  Eric guffawed. “There is no way I can say that. Is there anything else I can call
you?”

  The merman drew his lips into a thin line before baring his teeth in another one of those savage smiles. “It might sound a bit obvious, but call me… Blue Scales.”

  * * *

  It was a testament to the quality of his spear that it didn’t simply melt when Eric rammed it through the skull of the hydra. Old Wolf Taylor might be a mean, miserly, old werewolf, but he was a heck of a weapon smith. The spear was worth every coin Eric had spent on it. The multi-headed reptile gave a shrill shriek, and Eric wrenched his weapon free and leapt back to avoid the spray of acid, venom, and corrosive blood that followed. He might be a werewolf, but the stuff a hydra could churn out was neither quick nor painless to regenerate from. Still, the sight of the gore spewing out of the hydra’s skull almost made him laugh. It looked like a bloody, demented fountain. Alas, stabbing one of the hydra’s heads wasn’t likely to do anything more than make it mad.

  “It seems angry with you,” Blue Scales murmured as he too backed away. In the year since they’d met, Eric had learned that the merman’s scales were the equal or better to any armour on land. It made sense since Blue Scales came from a clan that lived in the deepest part of the ocean where some of the most gigantic and vicious creatures dwelt. However, pressure and predators were one thing – the deadly substances produced by a hydra were quite another. “It does not seem overly concerned about being stabbed in the head.”

  “Hydras are annoying like that,” Eric replied. The hydra was already healing. Its crushed skull had begun to knit together, and its ruined eyes once more held a cruel, cunning gleam. “Piercing wounds that would slay a lesser beast in an instant won’t even slow it down. The most effective methods involve fire, or massive, overwhelming force applied across its entire body.” He dodged a volley of acid and then jumped off a rock. He spun through the air to build the momentum he needed to gore another one of its heads before he darted away. If nothing else, repeatedly impaling its heads would keep it on the defensive. “My clan leader once killed an ancient hydra by hurling giant boulders at it until it died. I don’t think either of us are that strong.”

  Blue Scales glanced at a nearby boulder. “I could throw that boulder over there, albeit not far or fast enough. But if you transformed and we worked together, we could certainly throw it far enough and with some speed behind it too. But there are only three large boulders here. Will that be enough?”

  “No. You need at least one for each head and several more for the body. For this hydra, we’d need at least seven or eight large boulders.” Eric flipped back and then rolled to the side before tossing a pouch at the hydra. The pouch burst open, and the reptile began to sneeze and cough. It was a pity the hydra was immune to its own toxins. Otherwise, it would have died then and there. Even so, it was hilarious to watch a giant reptile sneeze uncontrollably while spewing acid and venom all over itself. From the murderous rage he could see in its watery eyes, he was going to pay once it recovered. “I’ll distract it. Do your thing.”

  “Gladly.”

  Eric ran toward the hydra again. It had stopped sneezing, and now all of its attention was devoted to murdering him as horribly as possible. It was at times like this that he liked having a human form. His lupine form was faster and stronger, but it was also considerably bulkier and less able to wield weapons. Fighting a werewolf in melee combat was usually a death sentence – unless you were a hydra who was basically made of anger, nigh-unbreakable scales, and copious quantities of corrosive blood, acid, and venom. Even with the boosted regeneration his lupine form offered, there was a good chance that the only thing he’d accomplish if he tried to claw or bite the hydra was to lose his claws and his teeth. His spear, however, was another matter since it was covered in all manner of runes and seals to boost its durability, to say nothing of the enchantments woven into its very being. With his spear constantly in motion, he ducked and dove through the hydra’s attacks. He had no hope of slaying the beast with his spear, but he could poke and prod it into frenzy. As the hydra grew more and more enraged, he took shelter behind one of the boulders. Even so, it was only a matter of time before the hydra destroyed the boulders with its potent acid.

  Luckily, it wasn’t long before he heard the sound he’d been waiting for. It was the sound of a river rushing toward him – a river that Blue Scales had created with Words. The torrent of water surged forward, sweeping away everything in its path, and Eric leapt off a boulder and up onto higher ground. Blue Scales rode on the crest of a great wave as the water bore down on the hydra. The reptile, which had lived its entire life amidst the arid, rocky hills, gave an inelegant and disbelieving squawk before the water washed over it. The hydra thrashed and fought, but the water carried it downhill, smashing it into obstacle after obstacle before Blue Scales raised his trident and spoke another Word. The water rose, lifting the hydra high into the air, and then he brought his trident down. With a sound like an avalanche, the water came tumbling down, throwing the hydra into the ground with tremendous force. Bones shattered, scales cracked, and the rushing waters carried the hydra over the edge of a cliff to plummet dozens of yards.

  “Is it dead?” Blue Scales asked as the water began to recede. “We don’t have hydras in the part of the ocean I come from.”

  Eric peered over the edge of the cliff. It was hard to see – a lot of water had followed the hydra down – but it kind of looked like the beast was still twitching. He grimaced. Hydras could heal from almost anything given enough time. “I’m not sure.” He spotted a boulder nearby. The deluge must have carried it along. He waved Blue Scales over, and the merman helped him heave the boulder over the cliff. There was a loud, wet thump, and the hydra stopped moving. “Okay. I think it’s dead now.”

  “Then we have completed our mission.” Blue Scales nodded in satisfaction. “As you warned me, it is slow going, but we are making progress.”

  “It’ll be nice having more money in our pockets. We could make quicker progress if we joined another group or had people join us since the most lucrative jobs usually take four or more people to pull off.”

  “We have tried,” Blue Scales pointed out. “But few wish to join a foreign werewolf and a merman.”

  Eric slapped him over the back. “Welcome to the wonderful world of the surface, my scaly friend. When we’re not all betraying each other, we’re finding plenty of reasons to leave each other to die. Come on. Let’s head back. We won’t have to worry about money for a while. If nothing else, we should also get more work after this. Killing a hydra of this size is no small feat. I could use something to eat as well, and neither of us is good at cooking. Who knows, maybe we’ll meet people along the way. It’s not like I planned to meet you that day in the rain.”

  To celebrate, they decided to spend some time at the hot springs in a nearby town. Jokes about Blue Scales cooking like a lobster aside, they were both looking forward to a nice, relaxing soak, and the hot springs were even said to have medicinal properties. When they got there, Eric sank into the water with a sigh of contentment while Blue Scales immersed himself in the deepest part of the hot spring before returning to the shallows to relax.

  “This is good.” Blue Scales gave a low rumble. “It reminds me a little of home.”

  “Oh?”

  “There were places where fiery vents heated the water. However, you could not linger for too long as the water often grew poisonous.”

  “Well, you can relax. The water here is just fine.” Eric closed his eyes. “I could get used to this. It’s a shame my pack doesn’t have a hot spring in its territory. No. All we have is a dark forest full of scary things that want to kill us.” He paused. “At least most of those things are tasty. Let me tell you, there isn’t much in the world that tastes better than a murderous shadow jaguar.”

  “Hah! You think your forest is bad? There are giant crabs in the depths that can grow to the size of hills. Some of them even wield potent magic.”

  “But are they tasty?” Eric asked.

  “Actual
ly, they are.”

  “Then it’s not so bad, is it? I’m practically drooling just thinking about how much crabmeat you could get from killing something as big as a hill. By the way, is it true what they say about –”

  His words were drowned out by an explosion as the wall around the male section of the hot springs came apart in a shower of wood and stone. He and Blue Scales scrambled to get clear. Alas, his clothing was still in the change rooms, but a mental command and a word of power sent his spear whistling through the air toward him. It was one of the reasons his spear had cost so much, but being able to call it to him was more than worth it. Some of the other people in the hot springs rushed to preserve their modesty, but he wasn’t one of them. He was a werewolf. Fighting naked did not bother him.

  “What is going on?” Blue Scales asked. A rush of water carried his trident to him. Another explosion rocked the area, and smoke billowed through the air. “Could bandits be attacking the town?”

  “I don’t think so. This place is pretty well defended.” A bestial roar split the air followed by an agonised wail, and Eric’s gaze snapped toward the source of the cry. “Get ready. Whoever is causing this, I think they’re headed this way.”

  Blue Scales raised his trident. A whispered Word had the water swirling around him, ready to move at a moment’s notice. “Can you sense anything else? What sort of enemy do we face?”