Dirty Rotten Seizure

by Andrew Bardsley

  “You only won because I had to run around those people back there,” I said with a nod to the people who were moving along the roadway.

  “Sore loser,” she said. “Come on, let's get my prize. It's my birthday after all.”

  I thought she meant the dress that we were here to purchase, but as I started to walk into the city she grabbed me and gave me a quick kiss. This made both the guards laugh at our exploits as we passed them.

  I felt Salihn’s hand slip into mine as we walked through the gateway into the city. She smiled and said, “I don’t want to lose you in the city!”

  I squeezed her hand in return, and we entered together looking to all the world like a couple.

  I looked around with interest, keen to understand how the elves lived in this dangerous forest underworld. My first impression was that the defense of the city was impressive. Not only did it have large barriers full of thorns, but also shining blue energy shields between a web of tree roots that twisted around the underneath of the city. Feeling the slight background buzz of magical energy, I wondered at the amount of magic required to keep the shields at full power.

  Salihn saw what I was looking at and moved closer to me. “Some pretty high-end magical protection. Do you notice the magical inscription?”

  I focused on where she was pointing and saw some flowing magical text. The first thing I thought was that these inscriptions were very different to the ones I’d seen on the constructed fort at the orc wall.

  “These markings are very different from runes that I’ve seen in the orc kingdom,” I said.

  She looked at me curiously. “You’ve traveled in the orc kingdom?”

  I nodded and she said, “I’ve heard that the orc women are considered to be very beautiful. Is that right?”

  I was about to nod, but luckily I noticed her pensive expression so I said, “People do say that, but their beauty is nothing compared to yours.”

  She mouthed the words Thank you with a small smile and then said, “Well, these are elven inscriptions, not dwarven runes. There’s a big difference. We can get some books about them if you like.”

  “It would be nice to go to a bookstore,” I said nonchalantly, as if I had not thought about browsing for books when I’d suggested the trip.

  “Ah, the real reason why you came out,” she said mockingly.

  “No, I really want to get you a present!” I said defensively, but she just laughed.

  With her at my side, we walked further into the city and I got my first look at its underbelly. I could see around me was a warren of large buildings that seemed to grow out of the very branches and tree trunks they were perched on. Unlike in the towns I had previously visited, these buildings were massive. The whole area was extremely well lit, which was strange for the depths of the forest.

  Every now and then I heard a smash and a discharge of magical energy from below me. When I looked down, I was surprised to see several monsters launching themselves out of the mud and attacking the shield surrounding the city.

  “They’re attracted to the lights of the city,” said Salihn. “A hunting party will go out and gather them soon.

  “It’s always easy to find monsters to hunt around the bottom of the city, as you don’t have to go far for easy pickings. Here, let me show you one of the markets that sells what the dark elves get from the forest depths.”

  Pulling me along by the hand, she towed me off. It felt warmly pleasant that somebody cared for me in this way. It had been so long since somebody had made me feel special. My life before coming to this world had been a struggle, and a lonely one.

  With her leading the way, it felt like we skipped quickly along a wide pathway. The bark-covered road wound its way deeper into the lower level of the city. People were passing us on all sides, and many of them had packs or were carrying animals on poles that swung between them. Around here, the hunters with dark hair were busy transporting goods in and out of buildings. I noticed that anybody who had dark hair was normally wearing armor, while the lighter-haired people were in normal elven clothing.

  I asked Salihn, “Are all dark-haired elves hunters?”

  She said, “Yes, it’s a mark of honor that we hunt the monsters in the lowest levels of the forest. There is one practical reason though, as a lighter hair color is a dead giveaway in the darkness.”

  “Is it a matter of choice what color your hair is?” I asked.

  She frowned slightly. “It's hard to explain to a non-elf; the answer is yes and no. It’s more like a badge of office. There are certain conventions that it is customary to keep to. The high elves have the lighter, brighter hair while the elves who hunt have darker hair. The rest is anything in between. The dark-haired hunters make the best elven warriors and are usually rich. This is mainly due to all the monsters they hunt that are high-value, but it's dangerous work.”

  “So, why did you choose to become a dark elf?” I asked with interest.

  She stopped for a second in the middle of the street and said with a frown, “That’s another secret that I’d like to keep for now.”

  I just smiled and said, “No problem, but I’d like to know when you're ready to tell me.”

  She continued to lead me in silence as we moved past the busy people milling around the pathway. It looked as if we were the only couple out for fun today as everybody else was there on business.

  As I people-watched in the city, I kept wondering how the whole population there was so spectacularly well-dressed, even if they were only carrying goods around like porters.

  In some ways, I thought, it was as if I had stumbled on a city full of models all wearing top-class clothing. Even the armor of the dark-haired elves was stylized. I figured that shopping for clothes with Salihn would be interesting, as people took what they wore seriously.

  I looked down at my serviceable clothing that I wore, and wondered what I would need to wear if I had to fit in, but every time I studied the fancy clothing around me I thought that it really wasn’t me.

  As I stared at the people around me, Salihn pulled me into an open square that had large buildings on all sides of the plaza. The plaza was fully decked out with a wooden floor that had been polished to show the swirling grain of the wood. There were archways open on three sides of the square leading into well-lit buildings that were full of people. Through the arches I could see many stores that were selling all kinds of objects. As we approached hand-in-hand, I heard the noise of people shouting out prices while other elves walked around between the wooden stores.

  “This is one of the lower-level markets,” said Salihn as we entered the bustling building.

  Like all elven buildings I had seen so far, this one had elegant architecture even though it was just a market.

  I looked around the lofty roof of the interior with its graceful columns and arches. “The elves seem to build everything with such care.”

  She nodded and said, “Were live long and appreciate putting an effort into making our surroundings as pleasant as possible.”

  “Is that why everybody is so well-dressed?” I asked.

  She stopped for a second as people passed us by and said, “I’ve never thought about it before, but maybe. It’s also easy to keep clothing clean and repair it with magic when needed.

  “Taking of clothing, I know we’re here to buy me something but I need to sell some things that we’ve gathered. Follow me, it won’t take long.”

  With that, she led me off into the center of the market. As we passed countless stalls, I could see all kinds of wondrous items being sold. There were gigantic food stalls selling meat on cold slabs of stone; the meat was frozen as ice appeared all around it in frosty white flakes. Some of the products that weren’t frozen were in magical fields that I could just about feel. I wondered how they worked, but Salihn moved me along before I could examine the fields.

  This is how a magical world should be, I thought, compared to the human kingdom where only the rich folk seem to have access to magic
. In the elven kingdom it’s used for almost anything. I’m certainly glad to be here with all this magic on display.

  Other stalls were full of small bottles that people were bartering over. I noticed that most of these stalls were very popular as many elves were buying multiple items. There were weapons stalls of course, mostly full of bows and large knives. I saw a lack of the axes and swords that were common in the human and orc lands, but there were long spears that seemed to be popular hunting weapons.

  Salihn pulled on my hand when I stopped at the first book stall that I found as we weaved through the market. It was the biggest collection of books I had seen so far in this world, and like a moth to a light I was being drawn toward the shelves and shelves of books.

  I felt another tug on my hand as Salihn said, “Come on, there will be lots of better book shops in the higher level.”

  “Are you sure?” I asked, still moving in the stall's direction.

  “Positive. I’ll take you to a few that specialize in magic!”

  Reluctantly, I let myself be pulled away. I had to tell myself that I would find better stores. After a few more minutes of dodging around people who sometimes threw us a curious look, we arrived at a small maze of passageways. Each side of the passage had an enclosed shopfront. The elven storekeepers all had artfully-arranged displays in their bay windows, in keeping with how everything in this city was made to be so presentable; the elves really seemed to take time on beauty. Most of the stores here seemed to sell magical ingredients.

  Some items were a bit gruesome to look at, but then I remembered the butchery that we had done a few days ago. I guessed that Salihn wanted to offload some of our recent gatherings.

  She opened a carved wooden door to a large shop with a counter down each side, and I saw all different kinds of gruesome organs on display. Looking around the room, I could feel the magical fields that were keeping the specimens fresh. Behind the counter were walls full of hundreds of wooden boxes that had the same magical fields preserving them.

  An elegant elven woman with a white apron was serving a blond-haired male customer, who was smartly dressed and stood at the counter. The woman was weighing out some dried ingredients from a box and placing them in a bowl on the countertop. The customer placed the ingredients in a small felt bag and passed over three silver pieces.

  I involuntarily gasped at the cost of whatever he was getting. From my experience in the human kingdom, I knew that was a lot of money for such a small purchase. Now the man had been served, he quickly left the shop without looking at us.

  “Rina, nice to see you again,” said Salihn flatly, unsmiling.

  Rina, the woman who was serving, smiled at Salihn but not with her eyes. “Nice to see you, Salihn. You seem to have a handsome man in tow. That’s a first for you! It would be gracious of you to introduce me, please - if you could manage to be so polite!”

  Salihn’s hand got tighter around mine and she moved closer to me. She said with a smile, “This is Chrix. We’re working together at the moment.”

  Rina smiled sweetly. “The way you're holding him, dear, it seems a bit more than work. Well, what do you have for me this time?”

  Moving with the same grace as all the elves I had seen, she went across to a section of the counter that looked like a wooden butcher's block. There she waited as Salihn started to lay out the items that we had cut from the creatures we had killed.

  As Salihn placed more and more items down, the lady’s eyes grew wider. “You seem to be working well together. Maybe it would be good for me if I don’t try and steal him off you.”

  Salihn just said “hmmph” as she placed more gruesome specimens onto the wooden block. Once she had finished the process of laying out the items the bartering for a price began. I watched in amazement as the two women seemed to use every trick that I had ever seen as a mentalist. It was like watching a battle between two people who had no liking for the other and was out to get the last drop of blood. As I watched, I was just glad that I was not involved as I would have been out of my depth with these two beautiful women.

  In the end a price was agreed on for all of the items, and both women seemed unhappy. Rina went to a small metal box and cast a spell on it. As I felt the magic flow through her hands, the box clicked open. She pulled out a few coins that shimmered with a golden color, and then passed them to Salihn with apparent reluctance.

  Salihn cast some magic on the coins, and then passed one back. “Oh dear, it seems to be a tiny bit underweight. Have you been shaving your coins again?”

  The woman behind the counter flushed red, but quickly went to the box and got another coin and passed it over to Salihn.

  After checking it, Salihn said, “That’s why I love dealing with you, as I always know what to expect.”

  Rina looked annoyed and turned to me. “Chrix, if you ever feel like dumping this uppity dark elf and getting with a really beautiful woman, you know where to find me.”

  I smiled sweetly but found myself being pushed out of the shop by Salihn. When we were outside, she said, “My goodness, who does she think she is with that fake blond hair?”

  For a while we walked through the maze of passageways. Salihn was frowning and holding onto me tightly.

  I said, “Don’t worry, I love your dark hair!”

  This had the completely opposite reaction to the one I’d expected as she frowned more deeply. Then she seemed to cheer up, and said, “Thank you for being so sweet.”

  She then looked at me worriedly. “As it seems that you are drawing unwanted attention to yourself, we’ll take an animated magic golem transport to a higher level.”

  “You can hardly blame me for being so handsome,” I said.

  “Well, try not to smile at any woman who compliments you next time, as it only encourages them,” she said, half-mockingly.

  Amused by the experience, I was practically dragged through the market by the worried-looking elven woman who was holding onto me tightly. She led me to a building with a large entrance hall. As we entered, I could see many elves with lighter hair entering and leaving the market. At many of the archways leading into the hall were nest-like piles of wood, which I guessed were animated magic golem transports.

  “I saw these machines carrying baggage when I entered the kingdom,” I said as they came into view.

  “They’re commonly used throughout the kingdom,” she said.

  When we reached a spare nest, Salihn placed a small brass coin in a wooden box. She said with a more relaxed smile, “We need to sit in the center.”

  I saw a bench in the center of the nest and jumped over, then offered a hand to help Salihn enter. She thought this was funny, as she was a lot more capable than I was at climbing, but after a quick laugh she took my hand and allowed me to help her.

  Wondering what to expect, I asked, “What now, then?”

  “Just a bit of magic,” she said as she cast a spell on the wooden nest.

  Quickly, the magic gave life to the nest of sticks. Within a second we were surrounded by a network of sticks like we were in a cage. The wooden sticks on the bottom started to move like dozens of legs carrying us out of the arched doorways. Around us I could see other wooden contraptions carrying people and packages. As Salihn sat next to me, she put her arm around me as if we were on a ride at a fair.

  When the contraption started to move, I looked out onto the city and its hundreds of lights. The nest we were in crept toward what looked like a network of vines, where I could see other vehicles like ours moving up and down the cityscape.

  When we reached the web of vines, our nest started to climb like a spider on a web. For a second I thought we were going to tip over, but our seat just revolved so we didn’t fall out. We climbed quickly up into the web and started to ascend into the higher levels of the city.

  I watched with great interest, while Salihn just seemed happy to sit beside me and hold me tightly. Once we had passed the initial set of buildings on the lowest level of the city, the n
ext buildings were smaller and looked more like private dwellings than large commercial buildings. In the light I could see people moving nimbly along the branch pathways. Every now and then I would see a child being led by a parent or playing with other children. They often played in well-lit areas that were full of plants and flowers, like a vertical garden.

  As we moved upward, we soon emerged into an area that was lit by many veins of quartz crystals.

  This is more like it, I thought, as it looked more like a forest garden.

  The houses were all carefully sculpted to blend in with the natural environment. There were massive areas of garden around each of the houses; it was like a city for people who didn’t want to live in the congestion of a typical human city.

  I saw more children in the well-kept gardens, mostly with adults looking after them.

  I looked at Salihn smiling at all the children playing around the gardens and said, “Well, there certainly are a lot of children.”

  “You can expect it in a large city, as the lucky parents move here for added protection. This is often done while the child is young,” she said, still smiling.

  “Protection?” I asked.

  “The forest is a dangerous place. The creatures don’t care how young you are. You're just the next meal for them,” she said with a frown. "Even the small villages are considered too risky for the young!”

  We sat in silence for a few minutes as we continued ascending through the forest. Mostly it was more of the same beautiful gardens as we got higher. As we were just approaching the surface, the nest moved sideways and took us to a large wooden platform constructed by a web of branches. When the strange contraption drew level, it crept onto the platform.

  As it stopped, I saw hundreds of people all milling around a large open plaza that extended along the platform. Around the outside were hundreds of wooden buildings, all with shopfronts facing the plaza. Many alleyways led off the main plaza into a maze of shops.

  As the wooden cage around us moved back into the main body of the nest, Salihn jumped out excitedly.

  She helped me get out and said, “We should be able to get what we want from the shops here.”