Reckless Hate: A Bully High School Romance (enemies-friends-enemies-lovers-enemies) (Westbrook Blues Book 1)

by Thandiwe Mpofu

  Just to be blue with my blue-eyed symbol of death. I wonder if he will come to me again tonight.

  But thinking about the secret door he uses to get into my room makes me angry all over again because I know that everything that happened last night, happened because Ace calculated it. He schemed and saw an opportunity to make a move that is part of his ultimate plan. Was I also a part of some kind of master plan that only works for him in the end? But why? What would he gain from all of that? Wait, how do any of the boys benefit from killing George?

  Was the whole thing orchestrated by someone else?

  I take out my earphones and then take my water bottle and gulp down the entire contents in it. Everything that has happened so far has left me with even more questions than I had when I arrived.

  “You are up early.”

  I turn to the sound of my father’s voice that breaks the silence in the gym out of nowhere. I’m surprised to see him this early, I can’t say I remember my father ever having a likeness to the gym. I mean, the man used to love having steaks with a side of mac and cheese every Thursday night for dinner and would pat his tummy right after.

  I remember it would make me giggle in delight and George would imitate him but now, it’s like that life is part of another alternate universe not at all part of the one I’m currently living in.

  In this universe, my father is up early on a Sunday morning and is in the gym and now that I’m looking at him—like really looking at him—I notice the way he is ripped, filling out his sweat shirt like he is in his prime when I know my father is pushing fifty-three right now.

  Why bother working so hard if not to impress a certain demographic of young females that are not my mother? He disgusts me and the fact that he was busy fucking my mother’s sister still leaves a bitter taste in my mouth.

  As I look at him, I also realize that I last saw my father at the funeral and since then, not a word or a peep from him. Now he is here? After ditching his wife and only remaining child yesterday, he is here, surprised to see me in the gym.

  “So are you.” Is all I say as I watch him step further into the room and heads straight over to the section of the gym where the mats have been laid out and he starts stretching.

  “I wasn’t aware that you are into fitness?” He questions, looking at me like he doesn’t really know what to say.

  “It helps with keeping me focused. I wasn’t aware that you somehow cured your allergy to the gym.” I point out as I watch him.

  Is he having a mid-life crisis? Is that it? He chuckles then, shaking his head. “Well, I realized that I do want to live a good, long life so might as well get myself physically correct.”

  “Physically correct huh?” I repeat after him. I realize in that moment that my vocabulary to describe everyone here in Westbrook Blues, including my parents, is ‘used to’.

  Everyone used to be a certain way.

  They used to do things differently.

  My brother used to be the only one in the gym.

  It used to be. . .

  “Yes. How are you?” He questions after a long pause. I cock my head to the left and then shake my head.

  “Oh, so you care about how I am now?”

  I mean, it used to be him and I. He used to be my favorite person in the world, we went everywhere together. The first time he got that huge job and then moved us out here—he had to take a trip to Brazil and he took me along with him. He used to be my King, the man I looked up to for everything. But after everything, it’s like, I’m nothing to him.

  “Astraea.”

  “No, I’m fine. I’ve managed to be fine without you and I will be fine as soon as I get out of here.”

  I turn and collect my towel, my water bottle and quickly make my way out of the gym, completely ignoring him. What a poor excuse of a father. You can’t just wake up one day and think to yourself, ‘I’m so done with this fatherhood thing.’ and then all of a sudden, you abandon your role as one.

  But that’s exactly what he did.

  I wonder if George felt this way, but if he did, he never mentioned it. After all, I did request that he never bring up our father ever again in any conversations that we had. Talking about him became pretty difficult after months and months of looking behind your brother and mother, expecting to see your father right behind them as your family came to visit you in a damn hospital.

  Fuck. I won’t cry.

  I won’t ever shed a tear again for a father that up and abandoned me at a time I needed him most. At a time when I need my protector, needed my shield, needed a strong crutch to hold me up. He wasn’t there. Instead, he chose his image. Chose the high life that he is obviously working out for to keep his credit legit.

  Hours later, I’m in my room and decide to switch on my phone that I had abandoned last night, only to be met by fifteen text messages and five voicemail messages.

  All fifteen texts are from Kim and they all say the same thing really.

  “You know, disappearing from a party and leaving me alone with sweaty—but hot—guys is not a friend thing to do. And I’m not sorry about my repetitive texts but I am serious about what I said, I’m going to make that brunette with the cocky smirk suffer.

  X Kim.

  THAT’S THE LATEST MESSAGE sent an hour ago. I read the earlier ones and then burst out laughing as I go through the same texts almost ten times.

  I’m druuuuunk but I swear, I didn’t sleep with any1. That stupid guyyyyy, one of those boy blue bands cock blocckkeedd me. I’m goiiing to pull his damn balls until they are bluee too.”

  IT LOOKS LIKE NOAH, aka, the brunette, cock blocked Kim and well, she isn’t happy about that because she is literally threatening body harm for blocking her plans of getting laid last night. Somehow, the thought of Kim teaching Noah a lesson lifts my spirits up and I find myself laughing.

  Good morning sunshine. Sorry for not telling you last night, things just happened so fast. What did Noah do?

  I SHOOT THE TEXT AND immediately, the little three dots start dancing as she starts typing.

  Oh, his name is Noah? Why the fuck did he tell me that he is the tooth fairy and I fucking believed him. I swear, something was in those drinks. I don’t get drunk that fast. Like ever.

  A TOOTH FAIRY? AND she believed him. What the hell? Was she drugged? I think back to last night but I’m not sure if I ever saw Dereck but something in the Corona he passed to Kim. But the dude that asked her for a danced though and the kind of that party that it was, I’m not so confident that someone wouldn’t find it easy to prey on the unsuspecting girls that were at the party.

  I think back to the girls that we saw when we arrived. One of them looked pretty delirious and out of it. The way some of those people moved, the way they talked, yeah there were some heavy stuff being passed around.

  So, does that mean Ace was right? Is there danger? What if Ace wasn’t there and what if Noah wasn’t there watching Kim?

  But then, what happened to Dereck because I know Ace has something planned for him but then again, the way Ace literally gave me to Emmett and drove off? What was that about? And when he came to my room, he seemed different somehow.

  Whatever he did to Dereck, he did it last night. I wonder if Kim knows something but then again, she might have been drugged and if it wasn’t for Noah, she wouldn’t be home right now. God knows what would have happened to her with that stranger. What would have happened to me?

  A shudder wrecks my body.

  I shoot Kim a text and tell her that we can talk more at school, meanwhile, I’m going to get answers and I know just were to get them.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  ASTRAEA

  THERE ARE ABOUT TWELVE estates here in Westbrook Blues and all of them are owned by the top tier of the Westbrook. All of them grandiose, extravagant, ridiculous and well, over the top. A sign of wealth, power and dominance.

  As I walk, I notice now that not only are the estates specifically dotted around the mountain like some kind of ma
p, but they are all in some kind of ascending order. Not only that, they are also in order of rank.

  The King’s estate is at the very top. It is the biggest and you can only imagine just how big it is when my house is like a damn palace. Right down, after the King’s mansion, is the Easton estate—Emmett's house and then next to that is my destination, an estate right next to ours but it’s still what seems like a long-distance marathon just to get there—the Montreal’s.

  As I walk up to Noah’s house in my trainers, a black tank top and some shorts, I have no idea where he appeared from but he is standing right in front of his open gates, hands in the pockets of his shorts, watching me approach.

  “Are you lost, Raea? You think your ball landed in my yard?” He calls out and then starts laughing, but as I’m starting to realize whenever he is talking to me or laughing in my presence, his laughter is hard and maybe a tad bit forced.

  “Cut the shit, Noah. Or should I call you the tooth fairy of Westbrook?” I say to him as I stop right in front of him.

  At that, he doubles over and laughs A genuine laugh this time.

  “That was a good one wasn’t it?” He gasps as he laughs, his boyish joy displayed on his Greek like features that make girls sigh and do their most to get his attention. He looks younger right now, less hard and tough. Noah was never like that but, just like everything else, I should say he ‘used to be’ a bit softer, kinder, happier than the other boys.

  “I thought you left that back in childhood?” I say after a bit, a smile on my face as I think back to the times when either me or one of the boys lost a tooth, Noah would proclaim that he is the tooth fairy. But instead of leaving money under the proverbial pillow, he would leave all sorts of horror. One of them was leaving a snake—not a rubber snake, no—under Emmett’s blankets.

  Needless to say, none of the houses of the estates got any sleep that night. And Noah, well, he had two black eyes for the rest of the week that he showed off proudly.

  “Nah, that was some of my best material.” He says, wiping a tear that leaked from his eyes.

  “How did you know I was coming?” I ask him.

  “I saw you cutting through that little path you always used when you wanted to come to play video games with me and ditching George, Emmett and Alex.” He says, his voice now serious and maybe just a bit sad.

  “I saw that it’s still there after all this time and well, I wasn’t going to use the main road.” I explain after a few seconds, his penetrating stare making me nervous. He doesn’t say a word now, his entire facial features blank, watching me as if looking at a stranger. What a turn of events but I Should have seen that coming after what happened with Emmett last night.

  “Noah, listen.”

  “You just left, Astraea.” He cuts me off from saying anything, his jaw now clenching and ticking. Astraea, not Raea or his favorite, baby girl, but he uses my full name. I’m not really sure but I imagine his hands are balled into fists, concealed in his pockets right now.

  “Noah. . .”

  “You just up and left at the very moment that everything went to hell, dragging me—us—along with it. You just left.”

  Pain shoots through my heart then and I suddenly can’t hold his gaze, his eyes cutting a part of me that I wasn’t aware I still had in me. It’s more than painful right now and I wish I could disappear. Why did I come here?

  “No, don’t do that.” He says and I look down at his large trainers in my line of sight as he steps closer to me. His fingers are next, he lifts my chin up so that we maintain eye contact. “Don’t fucking look down as if you are ashamed of what you did.”

  “Noah, you don’t understand.” I want to explain. I want to tell him that it’s them that told me to leave. That he—they—didn't want me to stay after what happened, but I don’t even get a word in.

  “I understand perfectly, Raea but you obviously didn’t understand just how serious the promises you made were, did you? Promising me that you would always be there when the world began strumming chaos and my personal hell came knocking on the door, you said you would be there! You were supposed to stay!” His words are hard, vicious and ruthless.

  He isn’t taking any pity on me and I can feel the tension from him radiating into me. He is angry alright but this time, angry and disappointed in me. I let him down and he can’t look at me the same anymore. The smirk is gone, the slight twinkle of naughty thoughts and a smart mouth are all gone. He looks at me like. . .he never wants to see me ever again. And that shutters me.

  After everything that happened, I shouldn’t feel this way but I do. I shouldn’t be standing here listening to all of this as if it’s somehow my fault that I left but since last night, I’m questioning everything. Questioning what actually happened four years ago. These boys somehow think that I left on my own, that I just. . .left them.

  And it doesn’t hurt no, it fucking picks me apart.

  “You were just supposed to fucking stay and we would have dealt with everything together.”

  I wretch away from him as soon as he says those words and my anger comes back now ten fold.

  “Deal with it? Tell me Noah, how could you have dealt with it? How?” I’m shouting and he shouts right back.

  “I don’t fucking know Raea, all I fucking know is that we could have done it together but no, you just had to take the first exit out. Like we meant nothing to you!”

  He is shouting and tears start falling unwanted and unmerited down my cheeks as it dawns on me that he doesn’t know. They all don’t know what happened to me that night. They were not told the full report of what happened to me that night.

  Oh God.

  I furiously wipe the tears away as realization sinks in, they think I left because the house was broken into and I couldn’t deal with it. Then Ace burned down the house because of my unease but that’s not why. That’s not why at all. I stand there, trying to be strong and resilient but Noah’s candor is cutting me deeper than a damn steak knife, the truth right there clear to see.

  “You don’t get it. How could I stay after all of that? How Noah?!” I look at him as if he is the one who blew our world up but it’s not him. My anger is causing me to lash out but Noah isn’t having it. He has never been one to tolerate bullshit, not from others and especially not from me.

  “I was fucking right here all the time Raea! I was right here!” He spread his arms wide, taking a step back. “I know Em and Alex can’t be as honest with you, hell, they can’t actually talk to you after what you did, but I’ll tell you what you did.”

  He steps closer then and gets into my personal space and isn’t bothered at all by my tears but what I see in his eyes shocks me and I begin to tremble. There are tears—fucking tears in his eyes but he doesn’t let them fall, he never lets them fall. Not then, not now either.

  “You single handedly destroyed us! George, Em, Alex, everyone, you left us immobile in the ash of the fire and never once looked back. You! That’s what you fucking did!”

  I can’t say anything. I’m mute, I’m shaking like a damn leaf and sobbing as I take everything Noah is dishing out here on a sunny Sunday afternoon as if this is a normal way of shattering one’s soul. And to know he is doing it without the full truth too, now that’s worse than destroying one’s soul.

  “Where were you, Raea? Tell me, after promising that you would be there when things got worse, where did you go?” He turns his head, cups his ear in a dramatic pause but it’s not even funny. None of this is funny and I can’t take it.

  “Stop it.” My voice is a whisper and I know he chooses to ignore me.

  “Tell me, where were you when George would scream after a horrible nightmare? Where were you after all the promises you made? How was London then? I’m sorry did milady care for a cup of bullshit while she is on her high horse?”

  “Noah, please. . .”

  “Thank God we didn’t pinky promise on that shit because God knows that shit would have turned black but your word Astraea! Your fuc
king word! But shit, that means nothing these days.”

  He is breathing hard and as I helplessly look at him, I watch as tears fall down his cheeks. Noah was always the most emotional one and even though I know that’s different now, his tears say otherwise.

  “Noah.”

  He takes a deep sigh, trying to calm himself down as if he hasn’t just ended my life right here.

  “I’ve waited years to say that to you. You broke me, Raea.” He says, looking down at me. “You fucking hurt me to the core and you were my best friend.”

  The tears fall uselessly down my cheeks. “Noah, I’m so sorry.” My voice is choked up and I feel cloaked up in the chest. “I’m so damn sorry.”

  I completely ignore my tears and hesitantly step forward, closer to him. I ignore the nerves, I ignore the voices that are screaming at me in my head and step closer to him and he just stands there like a freaking large statue, looking down at me with a haunted and hooded gaze that breaks my heart.

  What horrors happened here?

  I reach forward hesitating for a bit but I see that pleading look in his eyes that seals the deal for me. I step closer until we are toe to toe and then I get on my tip toes, and then with a shaky hand, I wipe away the lone tear that has fallen on his left cheek.

  He is tense and I’m trembling but I don’t look away, how can I after everything he just said. After realizing that he doesn’t know the truth.

  “You left.”

  “Noah. . .”

  With that one word, I burrow into his hard, solid chest and I begin sobbing. To my intense relief, he doesn’t push me away, instead, he brings his large arms and encircles me in his hold and I burrow further into his solid chest.