Reckless Hate: A Bully High School Romance (enemies-friends-enemies-lovers-enemies) (Westbrook Blues Book 1)
Page 24
Right there in the middle of his open gates, his large home looming behind us and the various large trees providing some much needed shade from the sun, I sob for the young Noah who is now long gone. I sob for the best friend I let down. I sob for the support system that I betrayed. I just sob and he lets me.
After what seems to be an eternity and my tears have somewhat dried up, he steps back and looks down at me.
“You left but I’m so damn glad you are back, baby blue.”
“Noah, I just. . .I didn’t know how to handle it anymore and I needed an out.” I try to explain but he cuts me.
“You are not forgiven yet but I get it. It’s just that. . .it wasn’t a great move.” He explains. “Holy fuck, that’s too much emotion for the rest of my life. Only you Raea.”
“Uh, I agree. I hate crying.”
“Oh, look at that, she hates crying. What happened, you need me to be a tear duct fairy as well?”
“Nope, I’m good.” I say as I laugh.
The thing about Noah is, he never dwells on something, never holds on to anger but even though he is smiling now, all is not forgiven between us. I really hurt him and I’m broken myself. You never really get away from that. Not for Noah or me. And most definitely, not for the rest of the guys.
But for Emmett and Ace, let’s just say that’s a whole different ball game now that Noah has shed some light on some of what is going on. It’s more than just what he said, I know that but fuck, it hurt me too. More than they can ever know. The fact they don’t know being the biggest one for me. I came here for one thing, but now I just got something else all together. Fuck my entire life. And to think that all these years, I've spent resenting them for sending me away from them like that when I needed them. . .
“Come on then, you came to my house. Let’s go play this new game that I’m trying out for Epic Games.”
We begin walking and I stop in my tracks. “Epic Games? As in, the creators of Fortnite?
“Yeah girl. I’ve worked on their earliest games and then give them the green light right after.” He explains with pride in his voice.
“Shut up.” I’m shocked and in awe. Video games have always been our thing. We would play and share stuff at random times. He once told me that Brittney was a snake and a shitty friend when we were playing a game but I just shrugged it off. I guess he was right. More than right as far as has been proved.
“I told you I’m the shit, didn’t I?”
“What? I thought being a tooth fairy was your most priced life accomplishment?” I ask with a laugh as we reach the house.
“Shut up about that, but that friend of yours is fucking hot. Shit.”
“Yeah, stay away from her.”
“Hmm, I don’t know about that. It seems she won’t be able to stay away from me.”
I snort as he opens the front door and I instinctively navigate my way straight to the kitchen. I know this house and can get anywhere with a blindfold. I spent so much time hanging out with Noah that I practically lived here.
“Because you are so irresistible to the female populace?” I roll my eyes as he puffs his chest and we head to the kitchen to get snacks. Something we always did.
“Uh, in case you missed it. I am the shit and they can’t get enough of me so I give them what they need. I’m not stingy.” He says with a smirk and I laugh.
“Since when did you become. . .”
“A ladies man?”
“I was going to say a manwhore but hey, let’s go with that.” I wave a hand and watch as he takes out a bucket filled with. . .
“Oh, my fucking God, is that what I think it is?” I gasp as I look at the bucket, the scent has already reached me and I quickly make my way over to where he stands and grab the bucket of fried chicken out of his hands. Although I had it yesterday with Mom, seeing Noah with this, fuck.
“Yeah, it just got delivered.”
I smile from ear to ear as I look down at the Haven’s logo and the fried chicken that is in it.
“Wait, they are open on Sundays?” Because I know damn well they are petty and are never open on Sunday and Tuesday. Such a shitty thing to do.
“Only when I say so.” He says with a shrug.
“You still eat this?” I’m touched and my damn heart sinks thinking back to the time I completely shut myself and wouldn’t allow myself to indulge in anything that reminded me of Noah, Emmett and most of all Ace.
“How could I not. It’s the only piece of you I had left.” He says and then the tears are back but I don’t cry. Silence fills the gap as I watch him turn away to grab a six pack of beer in the fridge and water bottles for me and then straight towards the stairs that lead to the other half of the house that belongs to Noah.
His mother is not allowed this side and he even has a security door, like a damn spy movie, where he stops and enters his codes and then it scans his eye and the door opens.
“Really?” I ask after a we enter.
“She’s grown even nosier than the last time. I swear, she tries to come this side every chance she can get. I can’t fuck my girls with her lingering in the halls,” He says with a shudder as I think of Ms. Montreal, Noah’s mother. She is a sweet woman and she is the source of all of Noah’s sense of humor. And well, she loves her only son—a little too much.
I start laughing and he scowls at me then. “It’s not even funny.” He is serious but it makes me laugh even harder.
Urgh, I had missed this. I had missed just being in his presence and laughing my head off with my best friend. “You are killing me.”
“No, not yet. I’m just about to do that.” He laughs his signature hyena laugh when I push him away and dash for the best seat in the playroom, the one directly in the middle, facing the large flat screen. It gives the best view of everything on display.
“You wish.”
“You didn’t even know this game. I just got the blueprint of it yesterday.” He snorts, giving that smirk as if he has already won this thing.
“Why don’t you start it and we’ll see because I’m starting to think you are all talk no show.”
“Oh, you are going to eat those words.”
And with that we play the latest game that hasn’t as yet been released in the world. And true to his word, this game is obviously still in the experimental, trial and error stages and throughout the afternoon and into the early evening, we discuss the pros and cons of the game. How it can be improved and what is just too over the top. But then according to Noah, nothing is too over the top with Fortnite. Ever.
Insert my eye roll.
I glance at the watch in the cool ass room that practically screams Noah and notice that it’s already past eight pm. I’m shocked seeing how much time has passed since I just up and left the house thinking I would just march on over here and demand that Noah give me answers but instead, he gave me much more than I bargained for.
“You know, I am sorry.” I start after a while of staring at the screen. We have been playing for so long and for someone who hasn’t played a video game in a long while, I’m tired—and as for Noah, he has since grown angsty, asking me about Kim the whole time.
“Astraea.” He interrupts but I easily cut him off, and then reach over to pause the game so that I gain his attention.
“No, let me talk Noah.” I plead, unaware of just how heavy this moment has just become. “You see, I can’t even begin to explain just how much I spiraled out of control after that night. I can’t. . .tell you exactly what happened because I really, really don’t want to relive it and please don’t make me talk about it.”
“Hey, hey. It’s okay, I understand.”
“At the time I desperately needed an out and in that moment I was thinking, oh maybe I’ll just go away from a week or two and then come back because hell, how could I stay away from you, George, Emmett and even Alex. I couldn’t do that but at the same time, I was just a thirteen-year old girl with no control over my own life. . .over my own body and. . .”
“Then, the deep abyss that I fell into when they sent me away—now that was the darkest part of it all. And the most logical part for me was to cut you all off. I couldn’t allow myself to think of you because that would raise hope. Hope that would ultimately destroy me and believe me, it did.”
I think back to the times I would sit in the pitch darkness of the room that was allocated to me. Barely fourteen years old and the only company I had was the numbness of my body and my mind telling me that I was nothing. Telling me that I’m worthless and that no one wants me or loves me. That everything that happened is because of me.
Because I wanted to be that ‘it’ girl, I chose to go to that party alone, chose to drink that spiked cola. Chose to go to an empty house instead of going to over to Brittney’s house as was the plan for the night.
“That first year. . .I never want to go back there again but right now, I’m at the very edge of it. My twin brother is gone and the only reason that I’m back here is because I want answers, Noah.”
I wonder if George knew what happened to me. Fuck, now I have no way of knowing if he did or not. Unless I confront my mother and that’s not something I want to do today.
My head is nestled in the crook of his strong arm. Maybe he still swims like he loved to do, because his body is lean and is definitely in drool worthy shape. Noah has always been very particular about the way he looks, the way he dresses and the way he moves. It’s no wonder why girls love him. And because he is one of the Blue Boys.
“Raea, I’m sorry too. It’s just, seeing you reminds me—reminds us—of that bleak and dark time when you left and now you are back.” He sighs and drags a hand through his messy hair.
“I’m sorry about George. Hell, I’m not over it, none of us are but I’m sorry baby girl.” He whispers, dropping a kiss to the crown of my head and I burrow further into him.
“All I need are answers, Noah. I just want to know what happened to him.”
I voice out my concern and it’s met with silence and then his answer is short, but it makes my body tremble with chills and goosebumps grace my arms.
“You are looking for answers that will only hurt you, Raea. Trust me, you are not ready for any of this.”
CHAPTER NINETEEN
ASTRAEA
AS MUCH AS I WANT ANSWERS from Noah, I wasn’t able to ask him anything else because his phone rang just then and I saw the name that flashed across the screen of his iPhone before he answered, it was Ace.
From the one sided—and one worded—conversation that only lasted for fifteen seconds I wasn’t able to decipher anything and then he had to go. Although he insisted that I stay the night—we used to do that too—it just didn’t feel right to be in his house when he wasn’t so I picked myself up from the comfortable as shit sofa that I had occupied for hours and followed him out of the room and then the house.
I expected Noah to just jog over to Ace’s house but instead, we hop into his silver, blue and black Ferrari and he dropped me off at my gate with instructions to be ready for school by seven fifteen the following morning because he was going to pick me up.
And true to his word, seven fifteen on the dot he was in my driveway, hooting and shouting for me to come out of the house. And to my immense relief mixed with disappointment, Ace never came for me during the night. But I’m not going to dwell on that today, I got one of my best friends back and that’s good for me—for now.
“Who is that picking you up this morning?” A deep voice questions out of nowhere and I realize that it’s my father’s voice. Another early morning surprise, I’m shocked he isn’t gone to his office in the city yet as I run down the stairs—a little giddy and excited to see Noah. My father’s unexpected voice doesn’t stop me though, I keep going, noticing him standing at the left of the staircase.
“Why do you care?” I ask as I go down the rest of the way down. I have no desire whatsoever to talk to this man or to be around him. For the first time in what seems like forever, I actually slept well this weekend and it all had something to do with Ace and Noah, now I just need to find a way to talk to Emmett—but I won’t let my damn father sour my mood. I got one of my childhood friends back somewhat and Noah is my last connection to my brother and I’m happy about that.
“Young lady. . .” he starts but my mother appears from out of nowhere.
It’s almost as if both my parents have some kind of magical powers to appear anywhere at anytime—especially this foyer whenever I’m in it. But to my utter surprise my mother smiles at me and then places a hand on my father’s upper arm.
“Oh honey, it’s Noah Montreal.” She says in that soft rasp of hers and my father glances at her and then shoots me a look and then he disappears.
“What’s his deal?” I question my mother but I really don’t care.
“Oh nothing, just a bit of stress from work is all.” My mother says but then she opens the door and waves at Noah who hoots again. I’m not sure if it’s a greeting to my mother or another command that I hurry up.
“I have to go, bye.” I quickly pass her as I make my way down the stairs.
“Have a nice day at school.” She calls out and I’m rolling my eyes by the time I settle into the plush custom leather seat with Noah’s initials on them and some damn fairy wings. Noah the fairy.
“How is Amanda? She has always liked me.” Noah says as a greeting, watching me with a huge grin as I roll my eyes, again. It’s too early to be this exasperated by people.
“Well, you are a ladies’ man after all.”
“You’re damn right, baby Blue!” He gleefully says and then starts the car.
“Really? Fairy wings?”
“What? I happen to be into that shit right now.” He says and then we are off, shooting down the driveway as if we are in some kind of Fast and Furious movie.
“Slow down, I didn’t know you were such an eager student.”
“Uh, you were late. You should have been out by the gates.”
“Oh, so now you are a keeper of time as well?”
“Yes!”
I glance over him with a raised eyebrow because shit, Noah doesn’t know what time means. He has always been late to everything, even his own events.
“Well for today I have to be on time.” He answers with a chuckle as we weave in and out of traffic like it’s a video game. “Have you had your coffee yet?”
“Uh. . .”
“You don’t drink your café mocha with Swiss chocolate and two drops of vanilla in it anymore?”
I’m stunned into silence as I process what he just said with ease. Not only does he remember my favorite coffee in the world but he quickly knew that I don’t drink it anymore.
“Uh, I haven’t had it in a long time. I’m surprised you remembered.” I tell him as we pull up at a drive through and he gives his coffee orders for three and then mine quickly.
“I remember everything about you, Raea. We all do.” He answers absent mindedly as he pays for the coffee and tells the girl to keep the change. “It’s just that some of these changes, we don’t like them and you obviously hate them yourself.”
I’m stunned into silence at what he just said that I remain silent as he accepts the tray with four coffees and then passes me mine and a strawberry jam filled danish.
“You know I don’t really eat breakfast.”
“Oh shut it baby Blue. I have no idea what happened in London or what goes through your head at times but you used to eat as though you didn’t care if the world were to end in an hour. I want that girl back and honestly, you need meat on those bones.” He dismisses as we weave in back into traffic that leads straight to my somewhat new school.
“Gee, thanks for letting a girl know that she i
s skinny.” I mumble and he laughs.
“Don’t take it to heart baby girl. I’m just not into that whole thing that girls do these days. You take her out and then she has tells you that she isn’t hungry. So, you save time and then take her straight to your bedroom but she has the nerve to look offended and confused when I don’t offer her food when I’m done fucking her.” He smirks. “I mean, you just told me that you are not hungry, which probably means you want to skip food and get into what I can give you.”
“Well I for one do not want to get what you can give me.” I start and he lets out a hyena laugh.
“But baby, I can rock your world. Shit, by the time I’m done with you, you’ll be following me like a damn puppy.”
“Shit so all those girls that seem to migrate everywhere you are, you have fucked them?” I question him with disbelief. Noah never liked dating Academy girls—play and use them, most definitely but date them, nope. None of the boys ever did, including George.
“Oh hell no. They wish though. But the valley girls, holy smokes. I won’t lie though, I want that piece, can I have her number now.” He whines as and I know he is talking about Kim. I wonder if I should tell him just how much trouble he is in but I just smile.
“Hmm, me thinks you should man up and ask her yourself.” I shoot back and he glares at me.
“Who is to say I’m not a man? Does she think I’m not a man?” He demands as we pull in to the designated private parking at the side of the building. This lot only has five spots, with the other two to our left already occupied with some fancy ass shit sports cars. And as shivers start once again through my body, I know exactly who owns those cars.
“Uh, is this some kind of exclusive parking perks you have here?” Because I have never noticed this this place before and when I sued to study the map of the school years back, this particular area was a garden.
“Yeah well, we need privacy.” He explains.
“What happened to the underground lot?”
“It isn’t really convenient and besides, all the seniors park there, duh.” He explains,