Adapt Or Be Crushed (The Exceptional S. Beaufont Book 9)

by Sarah Noffke

  “If you don’t start somewhere, you’re gonna go nowhere,” Subner quoted.

  “Actually, I can see that going very poorly,” Sophia said dryly.

  “Tiffannee Freud needs to come here to see Subner,” Papa Creola explained.

  “That name…she isn’t…”

  “Yes, she most certainly is,” Papa Creola answered.

  “I can’t believe it,” Sophia said in awe.

  “Well, you should,” he stated. “Some people make bad decisions when naming their children.”

  “Wait, what?”

  “Tiffannee,” Papa Creola said. “And yes, it is spelled with two fs, two ns and two es. Very wasteful and unnecessary.”

  “Okay, that’s ridiculous, but that’s not what I was referring to.” Sophia laughed. “Is this psychiatrist related to the famous neurologist, Sigmund Freud?”

  Papa Creola shrugged. “How am I supposed to know?”

  Sophia rolled her eyes. “Because you know everything.”

  “So I do,” he said rather smugly. “And it’s not really of importance. She’s a master in her field of hypnosis, dream interpretation and various other mental health techniques. I think she’s the only one who can help Subner.”

  “Don’t live for your presence to be noticed,” Subner drawled on, “but for your absence to be felt.”

  “A gag might also help,” Sophia offered.

  Papa Creola shook his head. “As I was saying, to get Dr. Freud onto Roya Lane will be tricky.”

  Sophia giggled. “Dr. Freud.”

  He grimaced at her. “I don’t get it.”

  She shook her head. “Anyway, what do I have to do to get her here, and where do I find her?”

  Papa Creola shrugged. “I can’t say where to find Dr. Freud. And as far as getting her here, can you think of any other mortals you’ve seen on Roya Lane before?”

  This was a test and Sophia knew it. She thought hard, trying to recall when she’d seen a mortal there. It dawned on her, and her mouth popped open. “Serena Sweetwater.”

  He nodded. “And why do you think she could come through the portal to Roya Lane?”

  Another test. “Because she doesn’t have any brain cells left to lose?”

  Papa Creola didn’t appear impressed. “Try again.”

  “Is it because she’s married to the king of the fae?”

  “Love the life you live,” Subner stated. “Live the life you love.”

  “That’s exactly why,” Papa Creola affirmed, ignoring his assistant.

  “Well, I guess the king of the fae can marry multiple people,” Sophia said mostly to herself, trying to work this all out in her head.

  “It’s not so much about marrying royalty as much as marrying someone from a magical race,” Papa Creola corrected, strangely being direct and somewhat helpful.

  “Oh, cool,” Sophia said dryly. “So I need to find this lady and ask her to marry a magician or elf or something so that she can visit Roya Lane and fix Subner before I kill him. I look forward to explaining this all to a stranger who will no doubt put a restraining order on me right away.”

  Papa Creola nodded. “Good. Glad you have a plan.”

  “True friends are like stars,” Subner said, “you can only recognize them when it’s dark around you.”

  “Friends…” Sophia thought, trying to figure out which one of hers she could ask to marry this mortal.

  “The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you,” Subner went on. “You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”

  “You’re causing me a great deal of suffering,” Sophia joked.

  “Some people feel the rain,” Subner stated. “Others just get wet.”

  “Can you make this a priority?” Papa Creola asked, the irritation heavy in his tone.

  “Yes, I’ll devote my attention straight to it.” Sophia made for the door. “I think I know how to track down this doctor, but I don’t know who I’ll chain her to yet.”

  “Every man gotta right to decide his own destiny,” Subner sang as Sophia sped out of the Fantastical Armory.

  Chapter Forty-Two

  A figure went down Roya Lane with a crazed expression on his face as he whipped his arms back and forth to propel him faster.

  He weaved around larger groups and slammed into a cart that sold “unlosable” keychains. They clattered to the ground and made a series of chiming noises as they fell.

  Sophia would have ignored the commotion, bent on getting to the Brownie Official Headquarters as fast as possible since Father Creola expressed how important it was to help Subner. However, tucked under one of the madman’s arms was a small figure that Sophia recognized, although he was moving at almost a blur.

  And if she didn’t think she recognized the little Brownie, she definitely knew Ticker’s voice as he yelled, “Melp he! Melp he!”

  Sophia darted forward, racing after the criminal who had abducted the little guy who belonged to Mortimer and Pricilla. She planned on running straight into him, halting his progress and grabbing the Brownie from his grasp. However, the offender caught sight of her and veered suddenly down a narrow alleyway off the main lane.

  “Damn it!” Sophia yelled while pushing past elves and gnomes who didn’t seem to have anywhere to be and clogged up the area in front of her. They were all lollygagging like they didn’t have a care in the world or notice that a crazed lunatic was carrying a Brownie and darting through the roads.

  “Move aside!” Sophia screamed and made a broad sweeping motion in front of her, using magic to help encourage the obstacles of people out of her way.

  Gnomes, who never liked to be told what to do, stubbornly stood in her path with their hands on their hips or crossed over their chests. They weren’t being budged by her magical attempts to get them out of the way. This was one of the ill-timed opportunities where they chose to exert their independence.

  “Oh for the love of the angels,” Sophia complained, sliding around a group and then leaping over the next. She sprang high enough in the air to clear the heads of the gnomes she jumped over, but barely.

  Like a pole vaulter, Sophia’s arms and legs pistoned through the air as she soared. The heel of her boot grazed the top of a gnome’s head, and he yelled in protest.

  “Well, move then!” Sophia shouted as she landed in a crouched position on the other side of the stubborn group of gnomes. She kept moving and swung around the corner of the narrow alleyway where she saw the villain turn down.

  He was already to the far side, and whipped his head around to look at Sophia’s pursuit over his shoulder.

  “Bophia Seaufont!” Ticker yelled with his head pressed between the guy’s arm and side. His little voice pained Sophia, thinking that the criminal could be hurting the little Brownie.

  Sophia dared to halt and removed her grappling hook from her cloak, which thankfully she’d remembered to bring with her, although at the time she didn’t know why since she was only coming to Roya Lane. Just showed that she needed to be prepared for a battle or a pursuit no matter what.

  If she were simply trying to take down a bad guy, she would have fired on him. However, Sophia was acutely concerned about not harming little Ticker in her process. That’s why she refrained from throwing anything at the guy that could stop him but might indirectly hurt the Brownie.

  He was moving fast and nearly to the far side of the alleyway, which she knew spilled out into a very large area with tons of hiding places. If the madman got there, then finding him might be a lost cause. And more importantly, getting Ticker back safely would be next to impossible. That was unacceptable.

  Therefore, Sophia aimed at the building on the far side of the alleyway and fired the grappling hook. It zipped through the air and stuck into the wood of the building, then instantly yanked Sophia in that direction. She clenched her teeth together as she sped through the air, racing toward the solid building.

  The guy didn’t seem to know what was happening—all the events took place so quick
ly before his eyes.

  When Sophia was on the other side of him and before she hit the building, she let go of the grappling hook and dropped straight in front of the guy, which made him halt suddenly.

  He backed up and nearly tripped on his feet.

  “Hand over the Brownie and you won’t get hurt,” Sophia warned while holding up both of her hands to try and make the guy surrender.

  He apparently wasn’t the surrendering type. Up close, Sophia could see that he had piercings all over his face and neck tattoos and dirt caked under his fingernails. He was a magician down on his luck by the look of his torn and stained clothes. He whipped around and looked at the alleyway where they came from.

  Apparently the guy wanted to get hurt because he didn’t release Ticker but instead, took off back the other way.

  Sophia rolled her eyes, realizing she was going to have to get dirty taking this guy down. And right when she thought she had an easy case where she only had to fetch some mortal.

  She darted forward and caught up with the guy within a few strides thanks to the chi of the dragon. Sophia slid forward, brought her leg around, and swept the guy’s legs out from under him.

  In a swift, clean movement she kicked out his feet and made the guy fly up, his back horizontal to the ground for a moment. Sophia jumped up, seized her opportunity and snatched the Brownie from the criminal’s hands, then tossed him over her back where he held on tightly around her neck. Back there, he would be safe from an attack if the guy tried. However, the man landed hard on his back and appeared to have the wind knocked out of him.

  Still, Sophia stayed tensed in a fighting position, ready for his next move.

  He groaned and rubbed the back of his head that had smacked into the pavement. Not wanting to risk him getting away, Sophia sent a binding spell at the madman that tied up his wrists and feet, and made it impossible for him to get up.

  “Oh, come on!” he complained.

  “Be grateful I didn’t break something of yours,” Sophia challenged.

  He tried to roll over, but with his hands pinned tightly in front of him, it appeared impossible. “I think you did.”

  “Mad ban,” Ticker said in a low voice in Sophia’s ear.

  “What did you want with Ticker?” Sophia watched the guy squirm.

  “Nothing,” he lied and kicked his feet, which were bound too.

  Sophia sighed. “Guess how much worse your life can get?”

  He growled. “Not much! I’m out of money and have debts to pay or I’ll be paying with my life.”

  “So?” Sophia challenged.

  “So, Brownies know where treasures are!” he yelled. “They know where everything is!”

  That was true. Sophia had been on her way to see Mortimer when she ran into the guy fleeing with Ticker. She hoped that the head official for the Brownies would be able to tell her where to find Tiffannee Freud. They didn’t know everything, but they did have eyes in many places and knew a lot. One of those things was undoubtedly the location of treasures.

  “You were going to have Ticker tell you where to find money and valuables, then,” Sophia guessed. “And steal… Your problems can’t be that bad.”

  “How would you know, rich girl?” the guy whined.

  Sophia shook her head. “You know, having money doesn’t fix all your problems. There are some things in the world bigger than that.”

  He laughed, but the sound contained no joy. “How would you know?”

  Sophia thought about the upcoming battle where the Dragon Elite would need the best armor in the world and a mysterious weapon. A cold chill ran down her back. “Believe me, I know.”

  She pulled out her cell phone and messaged Liv. It read: “You still on Roya Lane? I have a present for you.”

  Chapter Forty-Three

  “You and I need to discuss what qualifies as a present.” Liv eyed the criminal who was giving her a scared stare.

  “Please, please don’t leave me with her!” he begged. “Kill me now. Put me out of my misery. Take me to your authorities. Just don’t leave me with that woman!”

  Sophia laughed. “Sorry, you fall into her jurisdiction, magician. And my authorities would roast you…quite literally.”

  “Oh, Jock.” Liv shook her head and clicked her tongue. “You missed me, didn’t you?”

  Ticker had climbed over Sophia’s shoulder and was now cradled in her arms, perched up high and watching everything with wide eyes.

  “Liss Miv!” The little Brownie blinked at Liv with an endearing expression.

  “Awe, I missed you too, Tick,” she gushed. “We need to go on another mission together.”

  “Yes, but right now I’m going to get this little guy back to his parents,” Sophia stated. “I bet they missed him and are worried sick.”

  Liv nodded. “Although they know he can take care of himself. I would have felt sorry for Jock if he thought that Ticker wasn’t going to get away and in the process make his life hell. You picked the wrong Brownie to nab, Jock.”

  The guy gave Sophia an urgent expression. “I don’t know who you are but please, take pity on me. Don’t leave her with me! She’s horrible.”

  Sophia laughed. “She’s my sister.”

  Jock groaned. “Oh, kill me now.”

  “Wow.” Sophia shook her head at Liv. “What did you do to this guy the last time?”

  “I thought we had a great time, Jock,” Liv joked. “You didn’t like my singing?”

  “She didn’t stop for hours,” Jock said like it was the most horrifying experience. “And then her and the demon hunter used me as target practice.”

  “No,” Liv corrected. “If Stefan and I used you as target practice, then there’d be holes in you. The objective was not to nick your pretty little face. Did we?”

  “Multiple blades grazed by my face!” he boomed.

  “But they didn’t cut you, now did they, Jock?” Liv hauled him up to his feet and looked him over. “Wow, you look like crap. What have you been doing, living on the streets?” She reeled back. “Yeah, you smell like you’ve been living in a cardboard box.”

  “What else am I supposed to do?” he complained. “You shut down my business—”

  “Selling illegal magical devices to underage magicians,” Liv interrupted.

  “They’re harmless,” he argued.

  “They help them cut school and cheat on their exams,” Liv countered.

  “And I still owe those thugs for the merchandise, which you all confiscated,” Jock stated.

  “Maybe we’ve learned to stop doing business dealings with thugs, then?” Liv asked. “I mean, I shouldn’t have to tell you that when your business associate is named Blood Stains, that you probably don’t want to work with him.”

  “It was supposed to be easy money,” Jock griped. “Now I owe him a ton of money, and if he finds me, I’m dead.”

  “If I catch you doing anything illegal or anywhere near the Brownie Official Headquarters, then you’ll be begging Blood Stains to take you out,” Liv threatened. “I can promise you that my punishments are a lot more creative, and will leave you with nightmares.”

  He visibly shivered in her grasp. “I know from experience.”

  Liv gave Sophia a sideways expression. “Thanks for taking Jock down. He’ll be safe with me.”

  He shook his head adamantly. “I won’t. She’ll keep me alive, but I promise I won’t be safe.”

  Sophia laughed. “How did you get into the Brownie office?”

  Liv sighed. “Jock is pretty clever.” She gave him a pursed expression. “Imagine if you used your talents for good?”

  “What are you going to do with him?” Sophia watched as Liv led him off.

  “I’m going to give Jock one last chance to turn it around,” Liv stated, not using as much force with the guy as if she loathed him. Knowing her, she was going to bail him out and try and reform him so he quit doing illegal stuff and contributed to society rather than was a drain on it. “But I’m prob
ably also going to give him matching black eyes and some scars to remember me by.”

  Jock shook his head, his eyes wide as he looked over his shoulder. “Please help me,” he begged Sophia.

  She simply laughed and squeezed Ticker tightly, grateful that he was okay. “Good luck, Liv. Chat soon.”

  “Yeah, I’ll catch y’all on the flip side.” She waved as she led the criminal away.

  “Lye Biv!” Ticker waved back, smiling wide.

  Chapter Forty-Four

  “Ticker!” Pricilla exclaimed and threw her arms around the little Brownie when Sophia crawled through the small door. She didn’t know how Jock got out of there so fast since he was larger than her, but like Liv said, he was very clever. Hopefully he went on to use his brains for something good rather than illegal.

  “Mi Homma.” Ticker smiled wide, not at all looking flustered from his adventure. He was a tough one and Liv was right that he probably would have given Jock a world of trouble if he’d tried to use him to find treasure.

  She held him out and looked him over. “Are you okay, son?”

  “Fep, yine!” he answered, smiling.

  Mortimer rushed in from down the hallway where he’d been in his office. “Ticker! You got him!” His gaze ran over his son, then to Sophia. “Thank you. I should have known that we’d have the opportunity to thank a Beaufont for rescuing our kiddo.”

  Sophia beamed. “I was in the right place at the right time.”

  “And humble like your sister,” Mortimer added, smiling wide.

  “I’m gonna take Ticker to get some food after the commotion.” Pricilla made for the door.

  Mortimer nodded. “Yes, please do. You two rest up and I’ll see you when you return.”

  Ticker waved, then took his mother’s hand and hurried for the door. “Dye Bad!”

  “Bye, son.” Mortimer waved back at his son. When they’d left, he sighed in relief. “I can’t thank you enough for helping to save Ticker.”

  She waved him off. “I’m certain he would have been okay without me, but I’m grateful that I could intervene.”