Keeper of the Heart

by Johanna Lindsey

  “Again is the place wrong,” he said with a groan against her lips.

  “It’s just not your day, is it?”

  “It will be,” he promised, and then asked, “Are you there, computer?”

  “On this ship, naturally,” Brock replied, and he didn’t require clarification of what was needed. “Go back to the last lift, then up one floor and to the right. You should recognize the area by then.”

  Shanelle gasped as she was lifted into Falon’s arms and he started moving at a swift pace. And now that he wasn’t kissing her, her anxieties returned.

  She fought them this time. At least she tried. But she finally wrapped her arms around Falon’s neck and squeezed, whispering, “I’m still afraid.”

  His arms tightened around her. “I know. I wish I could take your fear from you before we join, kerima, yet do I know it will be gone after.”

  “Will you repeat your last offer and let me control the pace?”

  “I cannot. I want you too much, woman. I have to touch you. But you are mine to protect now, even from myself. You will feel no pain when we join, this I swear to you.” He stopped to look down at her, his expression tender. “Believe me, Shanelle. Trust me.”

  That was asking a lot, but she really had no choice. “All right.”

  His answering smile took her breath away.

  Chapter 31

  His bed was large and old-fashioned—it didn’t move. The cabin was also large for a ship, though small by Sha-Ka’ani standards. Shanelle didn’t get any chance at all to inspect it. She was placed directly on the bed, and as Falon stood there removing his sword belt and then his bracs, she couldn’t have looked away if she tried. She didn’t try.

  He was so beautifully made, this warrior, his chest immense, his arms really thick. She tried not to think of his strength as she watched him, though that was hard to do when it was so blatant. So she reminded herself of the gentleness he had shown her in their last encounters, and the control that had been present even today—and his promise that there would be no pain this time. She had to believe that. She was trusting Falon to prove it.

  Her eyes moved over him, even where she should be too shy to look. Perhaps she should have avoided that, for she shuddered now at the sight of such raw masculinity, such savage need, and her eyes flew to his. But his gaze was only bright as he joined her on the bed, not fiercely turbulent. Still, she put a hand to his chest, needing reassurance.

  “It’s not there—is it? All that intense emotion that was there before?”

  “Do not think of that, kerima; think of this.”

  He kissed her gently to relax her, then deeply to excite her. He had watched how she had put her clothes on earlier. He removed them now with the same ease, his pleasure at being able to do so quite obvious. Such a small thing, yet it was something he wanted to do himself, without her help.

  She gasped when his palm covered her breast. Falon trembled at the sound. She was his at last, and he was so fiercely glad of that he wanted to roar with the joy it gave him. He could not. He could not show her any of what he was feeling, but Droda help him, it was not easy to conceal it, much less control it. And yet he was glad even of that, for if there had been any doubt that she was to be the keeper of his heart, it was put to rest by the immense effort it was taking him merely to allay her fears, and he had only just begun to touch her.

  Her golden skin was incredibly soft and fascinating next to his darker bronze, her tawny beauty enough to mesmerize. He looked forward to a time when he could simply gaze upon her at his leisure, without the overwhelming need to taste and feel every inch of her. But that need was there and he allowed it control for a time, barely managing to keep from caressing too hard or startling her with his teeth.

  The reward for his effort was her ardent response, hesitant at first, quickly bold, and finally wildly abandoned, until Falon was forced to restrain her hands or lose all control himself. She whimpered at the restraint. He kissed her to silence, almost savagely now. She arched into him, undulated against him, sending him over the edge of his own restraint. He could bear no more.

  He opened her, entered her, joining their bodies for the ecstasy of life’s creation, too quickly, perhaps, yet did her heat welcome him, giving him pleasure unimaginable. Thus to go no further than that was the hardest thing he had ever done in his life. Every muscle in his body strained with the effort not to move within her. She would not be still herself, making it that much harder.

  Shanelle didn’t hear her name called the first time, or even the next. She was in the center of such a maelstrom of pleasure and aching need, the ship could have crashed and she wouldn’t have known it. It was the agonizing frustration of Falon’s stillness that finally got through to her, that and the raggedness of his tone as he said her name once again.

  She opened her eyes to find him straining above her, his muscles quivering, his eyes filled with such an intensity of emotion she caught her breath and began to tremble.

  “Do not,” he ordered softly as he put his cheek to hers to soothe her. “Have I hurt you?” Slowly she shook her head. “Nor will I.”

  “Then why—?”

  “You know why.” He leaned back to meet her eyes again, and Shanelle held her breath as he said the words she had been anticipating since he had found her. “By your father’s word has your life been given to me to protect. Now do I give you my life in return, yours to keep until the day I die.” He kissed her then, so tenderly it brought tears to her eyes. “You are mine now, Shanelle Van’yer,” he said fiercely against her lips. “Can you deny it?”

  The word was almost torn from her, it was so compelling. “No!”

  “With my life comes my heart, yours now to crush or cherish as you will. It is my hope you will have a care in keeping both.”

  He gathered her close then, yet with exquisite care, to give her what she had foolishly dreaded. There was no pain, only the fullness of his strength delving into her depths, creating waves of sweetest bliss that crested and crested again, dissolving her in a welter of hot pulsations that wouldn’t stop. Mindlessly she screamed and held on to Falon for dear life, and finally felt the surge and power of his own release that brought her to still another of her own.

  It was a while before Shanelle felt capable of even opening her eyes. She had never felt so weak and drained, yet so deliciously replete. Her warrior had really outdone himself, kept his promises, proved what he had set out to. She wondered if she ought to tell him. No, better not. He was probably already pumped so full of satisfaction that any more and he might burst.

  She smiled to herself at her whimsical thoughts, but she couldn’t deny it. She’d found herself one hell of a fantastic lover, as long as he kept a rein on things—No, no more doubts.

  She felt Falon stir at her side and suddenly she was being drawn across his chest. She opened her eyes to catch his smile as he settled her on him just as he wanted her. She didn’t mind that. He was certainly wide enough to lie on comfortably. One hand coming to rest on her bottom was kind of nerve-racking, though. But the other hand merely took a lock of her hair to pull her forward for a brief kiss that was sweet, but without passion.

  When she leaned up to rest her chin on her palms so she could gaze down at him, Falon was looking kind of smug, which warned her she was going to hear about some of that satisfaction he was stewing in.

  Sure enough, he was practically purring when he said, “She who had need of my control proved to have none of her own.”

  Shanelle grinned. “Is that so?”

  “You do not find that strange, woman?”

  “Not particularly. Did you have need of my control?”

  “Indeed would it have been helpful.”

  “Ah, poor baby. I guess you’ll just have to grin and bear it—or else we could refrain—”

  Swiftly were her lips brought down to his to silence that suggestion, and this kiss was the exact opposite of the last one. Shanelle was breathless when he finally released her
so she could look down at him again. Teasing him was definitely detrimental to her senses.

  It took her a few moments before she could manage to say, “I guess refraining is out, huh?”

  “As it could not be your wish, it should not have been mentioned.”

  “Talk about overconfidence,” she retorted, and couldn’t resist one more goad. “Are you so sure, warrior?”

  “Do you deny it?”

  She sighed. “I’m not having much luck at denying things today.” Being reminded of what else she hadn’t been able to deny, she thought she’d better warn him. “But I hope you’re not under the mistaken impression that just because you’re my lifemate now, we’re going to get along in perfect accord.”

  His answer began with a smile brilliant enough to curl her toes. “Have I not just proved otherwise?”

  “All right,” she said, and couldn’t help grinning herself. “I’ll allow there might be one exception— in bed. But out of bed—”

  “You will obey me in all things. Thus will there be no difficulties to speak of.”

  “You don’t really think it’s going to be that easy, do you?” But she hastened to add, “I’m not saying I won’t try to obey you. I’ve always been an obedient daughter—well, until recently. But there are other reasons why I didn’t want a warrior, things that I seriously object to—”

  His finger came to her lips to silence her. “All will be seen to.”

  “Is that another promise?”

  “I promise to make you happy despite your objections.”

  A contradiction if she’d ever heard one. But she really wasn’t in a mood to argue just now. She would much rather get to know this warrior she was stuck with, in particular the powerful body lying relaxed beneath her. Realizing that she now had certain rights to his body sent a thrill of possessiveness through her that she’d never quite experienced before.

  She gave in to it, running her hands along his shoulders and down his arms, watching the muscles leap to her touch. She began kissing where she chose, across his chest, up his neck, savoring the saltiness of his skin where she licked instead.

  He had remained perfectly still, so his sudden groan surprised her before he said, “Woman, it is too soon for you to play with me like that.”

  “Why?” she asked with laughter in her voice.

  He rolled her over and entered her so swiftly, Shanelle barely had time to gasp. If that wasn’t answer enough, he still growled, “Because I have not had my fill of you yet. I begin to wonder if I ever will.”

  She began to wonder if she ever would either, but it was a problem she could definitely live with. And then there were no more thoughts as her hands locked in his hair to ride out the buffeting her body now craved, and soon she was crying out again as that tide of unbelievable pleasure washed over her. She nearly fainted with it. She would have laughed if she weren’t so exhausted, wondering if Martha would have been able to tell the difference this time. But one thing she knew for herself. Sex-sharing with this warrior could become addictive.

  She barely felt him gather her to his side afterward, or the kiss he placed on her forehead. And she was almost asleep when she heard him sigh. But the words that followed were the kind that could wake up the dead—or one unsuspecting Sha-Ka’ani female.

  “You have made me happier than I ever knew I could be, which is why I dread what I must now do, yet must it be done.”

  Chapter 32

  Shanelle lifted her head off Falon’s shoulder to look down at him in disbelief. “You dread what must be done? Tell me that doesn’t mean what I think it means, Falon.” He didn’t answer immediately, but his expression was answer enough, making her pale. “You wouldn’t,” she whispered. “Not after what we just... you just can’t!”

  His hand caressed her cheek gently, and for all of one second she thought she was wrong. “I like it no better that this will mar the beginning of our life together,” he told her in genuine regret. “Yet did you know when you left your father’s house without his permission that you would be punished for it. Can you deny this?”

  She couldn’t and the farden jerk knew it. And the horror she was feeling quickly turned to resentment.

  “Then take me home and let my father punish me.”

  “He will not. He cannot, for that right is no longer his. Yet does your offense still demand proper consequence, which only I can administer. Your father expects no less of me, woman, nor does your brother. You expected no less.”

  That was true. She wondered bitterly why she was even fighting it. This was why she hadn’t wanted a warrior. They were inflexible when it came to their duty, and punishment was considered a duty almost sacred. That didn’t mean she could accept it, merely that she wasn’t likely to get out of it. That realization terrified her as much as it infuriated her.

  “Damn it, you couldn’t even give me a little while to like you before I started hating you again, could you?” she said with resentment so thick it was nearly choking her.

  “To delay would give you no peace, woman; merely would it increase your fear.”

  “I’m farden well allowed to fear what you have in mind!” she snapped. “I won’t let you do it, Falon. I’ll fight you.”

  “You are welcome to try.”

  Her eyes narrowed at the familiar words that told her not to bother. “I absolutely despise that phrase of yours.”

  He sighed. “Shanelle, let us be done with it, then may I comfort you.”

  “Like hell you will. If you punish me now, warrior, don’t even think about getting near me again— ever!”

  If she had hoped that might make a difference, she was forgetting whom she was dealing with.

  Warriors didn’t take kindly to threats, and Falon was no exception. All her warning accomplished was to finally annoy him.

  “It is hoped we will not have to suffer this again, either of us,” he said in a hard, uncompromising tone. “But for now...”

  Where was her mind, to have remained sitting there next to him? Shanelle turned immediately to correct the oversight, but she knew she was too late. Falon’s arm shot around her waist, and that easily was she dragged across his thighs. He didn’t even bother to move to the edge of the bed. Right there in the center of it, where they had twice joined in pleasure, was he now going to inflict pain.

  Shanelle shrieked furiously as she struggled to keep from being turned over, but she quickly found out just how adept Falon was at this sort of thing. She was turned, a forearm pressed down on her back to keep her there, and that was when anger deserted her to make way for a heaping dose of gut-wrenching fear.

  She was crying before the first smack got anywhere near her bottom, and screamed her head off when it landed with the expected stinging force. In fact, she was making so much noise and commotion that it took a while for her to realize that Falon wasn’t spanking her after all, that she’d got no more than that one sharp example of Ba-Har-ani discipline.

  She was still crying. Her fright had been extreme. But she had been turned back over to sit on Falon’s lap, and all he was doing was hugging her, albeit too tightly, and crooning soothing words to her as he might to an upset child.

  Shanelle felt like a child just then. Where was the courage that had sent her racing across space into the unknown, that had sent Falon crashing to the floor without thought of consequence, that had faced sex-sharing again when she was sure it would be nothing but painful? If her mother had witnessed that disgraceful display of theatrics, she’d hang her head in shame. That was exactly what Shanelle felt like doing. On the other hand, she was so relieved that Falon had stopped, for whatever reason, that she started hugging him back to tell him so, though she kept her face buried against his chest.

  It was still a while more before she was quiet enough to merit more direct attention. Her face was lifted. A finger gently wiped the wetness from her cheeks. And when she finally got up enough courage to open her eyes, it was to see an expression that was a pure mixture of chagrin an
d resignation.

  Falon’s voice, however, was nothing short of scolding. “You do not take punishment well, kerima.”

  “Are you finished?”

  He sighed. “Very likely.”

  “Then I’ll do better the next time,” she felt it safe to lie.

  “You had best hope there is never a next time,” he told her sternly.

  Stars, didn’t she know it. She tried to hide her face again, but he wouldn’t let her. Unfortunately, the subject wasn’t over yet.

  “Your brother mentioned another way a warrior may punish his own woman. Perhaps I should discuss this further with him.”

  Shanelle stiffened and quickly volunteered, “My father always sent me to the kitchen to work.”

  “Is this how your mother is punished?”

  “Well, no—Falon, please, I hate that way even more than your way.”

  “How would you know when you have yet to experience it? Dalden claims your women prefer—”

  “Fat lot Dalden knows!” she snapped, then immediately paled for having done so.

  Falon noticed and this time he pressed her face back to his chest to assure her, “I will never punish you for what you say to me, woman, nor for how you say it, nor for the reason you say it. Do I punish you again, it will be because you have disobeyed me in a way that endangers yourself, which I will not stand for. Is this clear to you?”

  “You’re saying it’s okay if I get angry at you?”

  “Yes.”

  “And it’s okay if I, ah—unthinkingly attack you sometimes?”

  He lifted her chin again so she could see his smile. “That would depend on what you attack me with, kerima. I would not care to have my head cracked open some new rising because I did not see to you properly the previous rising.”

  “Somehow I don’t think you’ll ever be that forgetful.” She grinned back at him. “How about if I just attack you with myself?”