“If you want.” I tilted my head to the side. “I’m saying you’re only twenty-two, and you could become anything you wanted. I could help you with that if you go back in.”
Ford was silent for several minutes, his gaze not moving off my face. I knew that look. It was the one that said he couldn’t believe someone was offering him this and that he shouldn’t trust me, but a part of him wanted to.
“And if I say no?”
“Then Hut is still free...for now.” I inhaled a breath. “He got out on bail, and we have no idea how the trial is gonna go down. We need more. We need to know what he’s doing and catch him breaching his bail conditions. It’s the only way to get him back off the streets.”
Ford’s shoulders slumped, his hand swiping over his face. “And if I do this, you’ll help me become anything I want?”
“Yeah.”
Ford tilted his head back, staring at the ceiling. “Fuck it.” He looked back at me. “I always wanted to be one of the good guys. I was always the cop when we played cops and robbers as kids.” His lips pulled up on one side. “I do this, and you help me become one of you. Deal?” He pushed his hand out.
I raised a brow and inhaled a breath. I wasn’t sure how this was going to go down, but I’d listened to my instincts. Instincts that had told me the Ford from the crew wasn’t the Ford he’d ever wanted to be.
“Deal.”
* * *
LOLA
“I swear, my hands feel like they’re gonna fall off,” Cade groaned as he pulled his bag from his locker.
I chuckled, knowing exactly what it felt like to have to wash pots and pans all day long. It destroyed your hands in a way no one ever knew about. “When you go to bed, lather them in cream, more than you think they need, and it’ll help,” I told him, getting my own bag from my locker.
He grinned. “Yeah?”
“Yep.”
We’d both been on the same shift today, and I had to admit, having Cade around for the last week or so had been better than I expected. I wasn’t sure what it was going to be like looking at his face nearly every day, but it was the same as it always had been.
Today was the first time we walked out of the diner together, and I just hoped it wasn’t Brody picking him up but Moira instead. The last thing I needed was another awkward exchange and my emotions to be put through the wringer. They were doing enough of that on their own without anyone to help.
Who knew pregnancy was so back and forth? I thought all I’d have to deal with was sickness and nausea, possibly a little heartburn. No one ever told me I’d be crying at puppies as they ran across the park, or that I’d get choked up because I’d forgotten to buy ginger ale.
I was turned completely upside down and back to front.
Cade held the main door open for me, and I smiled in thanks, already making a plan to escape as soon as I walked through it.
“Hey, you want my mom to give you a ride?” I blinked at Cade and looked over at Moira who was waiting in her SUV. Thank god it was her. Cade pulled open the door. “Mom? Give Lola a ride?”
Moira glanced at me, and I opened my mouth to tell her that it was fine, I could walk, but she nodded her head and smiled. “Of course. Hop in.”
I really didn’t want to “hop in” but my feet were begging me, and my back had decided I couldn’t walk another ten steps, so I pulled open the back door and slid into the too cool car. What the hell was I doing? I shouldn’t be sitting in this car.
Crap.
There was no way I could get out of this now. Maybe I could say I forgot something and hide until they were gone? My aching body decided for me, and my arm moved to pull my belt on.
“Thanks, Moira,” I said, shivering at the cool air blasting through the vents.
“No worries.” She fluffed her hair and adjusted her mirror. “Where to?”
I reeled off my address to her, and leaned back in the seat, praying this would all be over in a couple of minutes. Note to self: never walk out of the diner with Cade again.
“So,” Moira started as she pulled out of the lot. “I hear you know my husband.” My breath caught in my throat, and for a second, I thought she’d call me out, but then she continued, “Cade said you met each other at one of his tutoring sessions.”
I frowned. Cade knew that we knew each other before that. He’d been there for the whole exchange. Was this some kind of test? I thought it’d only been Hut who did tests, not normal people too.
“I...yeah.” I shuffled on the seat and looked out the window, cringing at being in such close confines with the woman whose husband I’d had sex with. Crap, it was not time to think about that situation right now. My hand automatically touched my stomach, and I lifted it, my eyes widening. I really had to stop doing that.
“And, of course, you met him the other day in the diner.” She pushed some hair behind her ear and took the turn into the road my apartment was on. Thank god I lived so close because I didn’t know if I could be in this car any longer. She didn’t mention the fact they’d argued in the diner, and neither did I, even though a small part of me was satisfied at the thought that they had.
“Just up here,” I said, and pointed even though she couldn’t see me.
“Is it safe here?” Moira asked, her eyes wide as she pulled her SUV to a stop. Her gaze caught mine in the mirror, and I frowned. Was she being serious?
I tried to look at the apartment building from her eyes. There was a bunch of rowdy teenagers standing on the right side of the main doors, and the security camera that was supposed to point at the door was turned to face the wall. The bottom row of windows had bars on them, but I was pretty sure that was standard in buildings like these. It was the nicest place I’d lived, but maybe Moira wasn’t used to that. I almost scoffed—she probably lived in a mansion.
“It’s safe,” I said, grabbing my bag and moving to open the door. “I’ve lived in a lot worse.”
“You have?” She worried her bottom lip, and if I wasn’t mistaken, I’d have said she was concerned with that fact.
“Yeah.” I nodded. “I only moved here a few weeks ago. Before that, I lived in Cresthill.”
She blinked several times, her face carefully blank of any expression, and then she smiled wide. “Then it really must be safe to you!” Her voice was entirely too loud, and even Cade stared at her like she’d grown an extra head in the last ten seconds.
“Well…” I lifted the door handle and pushed it open. “Thanks so much for the ride.”
“Of course.”
I gave them both a wave, exited the SUV, and didn’t look back once. It wasn’t just awkward being in the same space as them, but I was afraid I’d lose control of my brain and mouth and blurt out that I’d slept with her husband. I’d always been good at keeping secrets, but this was getting harder and harder to do.
I trudged up the stairs because the elevator had a “Do Not Use” sign attached to it again. By the time I got to my floor, I was puffing out breaths and needing my bed like it was the only thing that mattered in this world.
My shoulders sagged as I pushed my key into the lock of my apartment door, and I finally inhaled a tired breath as I stepped inside. I had plans for the rest of the evening, and that involved a shower, my pj’s, and a nap. The prospect was so enticing that I didn’t look up until my door was closed, and my shoes were off my feet.
“Sister,” a deep voice announced.
I squealed, jumping in the air, my hand smacking off my chest to try and calm my racing heart. “What the…”
Hut sat in the middle of the living room on one of my kitchen chairs, leaning back with his legs spread out in front of him. He looked right at home in the middle of my space and even had a grin to match his easygoing attitude.
“Hut.” My fingers trailed up to my neck on instinct. “What are you doing here?” I begged my voice not to betray me because if he sensed any kind of weakness, it wouldn't be good for me. He’d zone in on that and use it to his advantage.
<
br /> “Figured I’d come check out my sister’s new digs.” He didn’t look away from me, his gaze focused entirely on my face as he said, “Nice place.”
“I...thank you.” My feet implored me to move, to twirl around and run out of here, but it was exactly what he wanted. So instead, I stepped forward, determined to pretend this was just a normal day. “Do you want a drink?”
“I’m good.” He sat up straighter, and tilted his head. “Were you ever going to tell me your new address? Or do you like the thought of me chasing you down?”
“No—”
“I think that’s it.” He clicked his fingers and pointed at me. “You like me chasing you down. It makes you feel like you’re wanted, huh?”
I shook my head and pulled a bottle of water out of my refrigerator. “No, Hut. That’s not it at all.”
“Then what?” He stood up so fast the chair toppled over, and I gripped the bottle tighter, my shaking fingers about to betray how I felt about him being in my apartment.
I didn’t want to think about how he’d found me, or the fact he was on his own. And with that came clarity. Brody had been around for the last week, so did that mean the case was over? Or was he taking another break?
“You know what,” I answered Hut, trying to push all my thoughts aside. “You hurt me.”
“Fuck’s sake, Lola!” He stepped forward. “I said I’m sorry for that.” He swiped his hand through his hair, and for the first time, I noticed how frazzled he looked. He was always good at projecting a certain image to everyone, but he let it slip every so often around me.
“Actually”—I leaned against the counter, not willing to get any closer to him—“you didn’t.”
“Yeah I—shit, I didn’t.” He let his head tilt back and stared at the ceiling. “I’m sorry.”
He was saying the words, but it was too late. He’d done too much damage, and I wasn’t sure we could come back from it. Over and over again I forgave him, and he did the exact same thing. You can’t expect the outcomes to be different if the process was the same.
“Okay,” I whispered, not knowing what else to say.
Hut looked at me, a small smile on his face, and my brain begged me not to take that small smile as he wanted me to, but my heart crumbled. This was the same guy who had sat with me when I had nightmares, the same guy who had supplied me with snacks when we were growing up and protected me from seeing what our parents did.
“Did you hear?” he asked, taking a couple of steps and leaning on the back of the sofa. We were only about five feet apart now, but his tone was light.
“Hear what?”
“I got busted again.” He grinned wide as if he was talking about a game he’d won. “That’s not the best part, though.” He crossed his arms over his chest, and my stomach dipped. He wasn’t here to see how I was or check out my new place. He was here because—
“It was Brody that arrested me.”
“Brody?” My voice betrayed me, the soft, breathy sound telling more than the one word.
“Yep.” He uncrossed his arms and gripped the edges of the sofa. “Your boyfriend tried to get me—”
“He’s not my boyfriend.” I ground my teeth together.
“Really?” He left that hanging in the air, but I knew if I denied it too much, he’d take that as a silent omission. I could tell him the truth: that I hadn’t known who he was until after he came back from his gran’s funeral, which I realized now was just another lie. But Hut wouldn’t hear the fact I didn’t know to begin with. He’d only hear that I knew at some stage and didn’t tell him.
“Really.” I shook my head and placed my bottle on the counter. “I told you that weeks ago. Nothing happened between us. I didn’t know he was a cop.” I raised a brow. “Is that why you’re here, Hut?” I laughed, but the sound was shaky. “You’re here to see if I knew who he was when you didn’t?”
“Lola.” His deep voice was a warning, but I didn’t heed it.
“Or are you pissed because you didn’t work out who he was and what he was doing?”
Hut pushed off the sofa, and I tracked each of his movements as he stepped closer. His shoulders were tense, his nostrils flared, and his eyes narrowed, but I couldn’t bring myself to care. He’d done this. He’d caused all of this.
“You think I don’t know what is happening around me?” he asked, but I didn’t think he wanted an answer. Too bad.
“No.” I shook my head. “I don’t think you have a clue what is happening. Or maybe you do, and you just don’t care. How long did it take you to work out I’d moved out, huh?”
“Too fuckin' long.” He was two steps away from me now, and I should have backed down, but the fight in me was strong today—the strongest it had ever been. I was sick and tired of sitting back and letting everyone walk all over me. It was time I took a stance, and this was the first step. “You left, just like everyone else. The one person who was meant to always be there, and you fuckin' left!”
My head reeled back at how loud he shouted, but I pulled in a breath and centered myself. “There’s only so many times I can take what you give and not walk away, Hut. You’re my brother, and I love you, but that doesn’t mean I don’t hate what you’ve become.”
“Hate?” He stepped closer, his hands clenched at his sides. “You hate me?”
“No...yes…” I let my shoulders sag, my body giving up its fight that had been so prominent only seconds ago. I was tired. Tired of this. Tired of always fighting. For once, I just wanted a normal life where I wasn’t amid liars. “I don’t know, Hut.”
I swallowed and stared into his light-brown eyes, searching for any sign of the boy I used to know. The one who was gentle with me even if he was rough with everyone else. It had changed along the way somewhere, but I couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment.
“It doesn’t matter how much you run,” Hut started. “You could move to the other side of the world.” He stepped back and shook his head like he was trying to get rid of his thoughts. “I’d always find you.” His voice was soft, and he closed his eyes.
Maybe I was being too harsh? Maybe I should forgive him for what he’d done? “Hut—”
His eyes opened, the light-brown now dark and stormy. “That’s a promise, Lola.” His voice was deeper now, more reminiscent of the Hut who had been present the last couple of years. “You can say and do whatever the hell you want, but you’ll never get away from me.” He moved back another step, allowing me to take a breath. “I’ll destroy anyone and everyone you love so you’ll have no choice but to come crawling back to me. And that includes your boyfriend.”
I gritted my teeth and widened my eyes, trying like hell to keep it in, but it was a sore subject. He had no idea what had gone on between Brody and me, no idea what had transpired, and no idea that I was preg—
“He’s not my boyfriend!”
Hut stilled, not a part of his body moving as he stared at me. It was the first time I’d raised my voice at him. He didn’t even blink, and for a second, I wondered what was wrong with him, but then his arm lifted, and his fist reeled back.
I saw it coming before I felt it, I tried to move out of his line of sight, but it was no use. Hut’s fist connected with my cheek and eye—the same eye he’d cut when he pinned me to the stairs—and the healed skin broke again.
“That’s your one and only warning.”
I pressed my hand to the side of my face and laughed. “That was your one warning?” For some reason, I thought that sentence was the funniest thing I’d ever heard. “Jesus, then what was everything else, just the goddamn prelude?”
“I’m warning you, Lola.”
“No, you’re not warning me. I’m warning you. If you don’t get out of my apartment right now, I’ll call the cops.” I paused and tried to hold in my flinch when he moved slightly. “I’m guessing you’re on bail, and if they come here and see this”—I pointed to my eye—“you’d be hauled back inside.”
“You wouldn’t.” Even I could hea
r the question in his tone. He wasn’t really sure what I’d do, and to be honest, neither was I. We were in new territory.
“You want to test that theory?” I asked instead, cursing myself when I raised my brow. There was one thing Hut didn’t hold back on, and that was the force of his punches. Goddamn, it hurt.
“Maybe you should.” He shrugged, the action so carefree, but I could see how frustrated he was from the way a muscle in his jaw ticked. “I don’t think you have the guts to do it.” His eyes narrowed. “Do it, Lola. Do it.”
My shaking hands reached for my cell, but I hesitated, and he saw it. He always knew when to call my bluff, and no matter how much I wanted to call the cops, I couldn’t.
“Just leave,” I said, tired this time. I’d had enough of him, enough of this. It was the main reason I moved out of that house.
“Why? Is your boyfriend coming?” He paced the length of my small living room, picking up things and placing them back in the wrong place. “Don’t want him to know that I’m here?” He turned his head, a wicked smirk curling at the corner of his lips. “Want me to be your dirty secret?”
I shivered, and not in a good way. His intense eyes were focused entirely on me. I didn’t want his attention. I didn’t want anything to do with him right now. Maybe I should call his bluff?
Decision made, I picked up my cell. “I’m being serious, Hut.”
His nostrils flared, and he stalked toward me. My muscles tensed at his quick reaction, and I braced myself as he stopped next to me. “You don’t have the upper hand here, sister.” He paused, his breath fanning over the side of my face. “You think you know what has happened, but you have no idea. Don’t think I don’t know what you’re up to, where you work, who comes over here.”
“I—”
“That redhead sure seems feisty.” His lips morphed into a grin, one that said he’d just won his own little game. “I bet she’d like it rough, huh? She seems the type.”
“Leave,” I ground out.
Down Fall: Fallen Duet: Book Two Page 9