The Land of Trademark Online
Page 27
“Nope, just you. Technically, it's not even on the item, just pushed directly to your vision. Changing system text would get noticed.”
“Alright, well sometimes you are funny, it's rare but—”
“Fuck you, I’m a damned comedic genius, I’m always funny.”
“Riiight, anyway I want to buy the extra Feat slot.”
“Good choice. And done. That leaves you with a whopping 140 XP. Do you want to confirm your choices now?”
“Yes.”
[Choices confirmed.
You are now Level 3.
Hit Points (HP) increased by 7 (HP: 36)
Mana increased by 8 (MP: 29)
Common Skills available for a Monk at this level are: Round Kick and Deflect Projectiles
Unacknowledged Skills:
Updates:
Fire Breath +1
Fire Shard Shuriken +4
Dodge +14
Sexual Confidence +8
Streaking +24
Unarmed Combat +19
Mend has reached Adept - See changes in italics.
Dragon Strike has reached Adept - See changes in italics.
You have acquired enough Sense related abilities to learn the passive skill [Sense].
Skill: Mend II (C)
Skill Rank: Adept (Next Rank: 45 AP)
Acclimation Points (AP): 15
Type: Activated (Cool Down: 4 Minutes)
Restriction: Must touch target, range is 0.
Effect: Recovers 80% of your base health.
Skill: Dragon Strike II (L)
Skill Rank: Adept (Next Rank: 45 AP)
Acclimation Points (AP): 15
Type: Activated (Requirements: Ignited Inner Dragon)
Effect: Focus your Fire Ku into your strikes. This can applies to any part of your body you used to strike your opponent. (This is a very difficult attack to master. Ideally you want to balance your fire and physical damage perfectly. The closer to perfection you get the higher your damage. If you strike with a perfect balance with less than 1% variation, you will land a critical strike. A critical strike is 200% damage to their Base HP, plus another 20% because of your Inner Dragon.)
Effect: Ignores 20% of AC (Armor)
Effect: Fire Resistance to this attack is reduced by 15%
Effect: 35% Chance to Burn your target. (Burn deals 2 points of fire damage every 5 seconds. Its duration is 30 seconds. Duration is 50% longer because you have a Dragon’s Flame.)
Skill: Sense I (R)
Skill Rank: Novice (Next Rank: 15 AP)
Acclimation Points (AP): 5
Type: Passive
Sense Types: Heat, Alignment, Animals, Plants, [Sinister] Items
Range: 15 Meters
Effect: Your ability to sense things in your surroundings has expanded with the knowledge of 2 or more sense type abilities. By expanding your knowledge, you can also sense items related to your gathering abilities too.
Effect: You may toggle on and off each [Sense] type. Even when they are toggled off you can sense at 10% of their normal power. While toggled on, [Sense] grants you a 10% bonus to all related types.
Effect: +3% to all [Sense] abilities you acquire.
Effect: +10 to your hidden attribute [Perception] (Bonus: This will increase for each new [Sense] ability you acquire)
OTM: Changing Classes or Professions might remove Sense Types and reduce Effects above, but it will not remove this ability. Once gained, it is permanent, like your herpes, slut.]
“Seriously? I’m right here.”
“Get over it, and can you deny being a slut at this point? You slept with three women in as many days. A troll, a goblin, and now a human. Bet the human made you feel dirty after all those monsters.”
“Yeah, why is that? All the sex, not feeling dirty.”
NPC laughed for a good five minutes. “The game caters itself to you. If you are having sex that much, it's because you can’t stop thinking about sex. It is about you having fun, right? Before you ask, Amard was not influenced except to tell her she had seduced you.”
“She still confuses me, but I will not pry into her reasons.”
“Hypothetically, if she is Dr. Soulstoner’s daughter, he probably told her who you are. Most of his patients are death row inmates, and besides her, you are the only other person he is digitizing that is not an inmate. She might have taken a chance on you. You are a likable enough guy, and your face has a symmetry to it I’m sure women find attractive.”
“Thanks, I think.”
“I still think she’s a fool for hooking up with you, but whatever.”
I sighed, of course he had to get the last word in.
[Unacknowledged Loot:
All items reviewed.
Unacknowledged Rewards:
Attribute Gains:
Strength +1 - Triggered because of your LitRPG Trope - A God’s Champion. You fought like a champion and triumphed over a dungeon.
Constitution +1 - Triggered because of your LitRPG Trope - The Harem. You did not hesitate to form your harem, nor bed the people in it.
Luck +2 - Triggered because of your [Luck Potion] (Uses Left: 1)
Title: The Pimp
Effect: Sex Appeal + 10%
Details: Acquired for having sex with three different people within a seven-day period.]
“You son of a bitch, you made that up,” I yelped unhappily at my new title because it was already easy to seduce me, whatever that fuck that means.
“I promise, I didn’t,” NPC was laughing again. “I knew you were about to get it, and I find it pretty damn funny, but that was already in the game. Guess you shouldn’t hump everything you see. Seriously, don’t. You won’t like the title.”
“Whatever, I mean I am enjoying the sex. However, at the rate I’m going, I doubt Amard will stick around.”
“You’d be surprised. She isn’t a little angel herself, so she can make her own choices. And she joined your Harem, knowing perfectly well what a harem is.”
“You are pretty smart—”
“I know, monkey, I know. But you are lucky I like you. Now get some sleep.”
“Yep, good call. Hey—”
[Status so far:
Name: Deuce Bigbelow
Race: Mutant
Class: Dragon Fist
Ku: Fire (Current: Inner Dragon)
Profession: Dark Alchemist
Specialization: Dark Botanist
Level: 3
Base: HP: 36 MP: 29 AC: 6
Augmented: HP: 36 MP: 29 AC: 23(5)
Stances (Equipped 1/1):
Dancing Dragon Stance
- Unarmed Damage +10%
- Movement Speed +5%
Auras (Equipped 1/1):
Aura of the Fire Dragon II
- Fire Resistance +35%
- Disease Resistance +25%
Feats (Equipped: 5/6):
Mutant (R)
- Attributes: Strength +3, Constitution +3, Agility -2
- Racial Restriction: This feat cannot be removed
Quad-Wielder (R)
- Attack with all four arms without penalty
Monastic Acolyte (C)
- Attributes: Agility +4, Wisdom +3, Charisma +2
Goro’s Might (L)
- Attributes: Strength +2, Constitution +3, Agility +5, Luck +4
Asp’s Speed
- Attributes: Agility +7, Intelligence +4, Constitution +3
- Resistances: Acid +10%, Venom +20%
EMPTY
Available Acclimation Points: 0
Active Class Skills:
- NE = Not Evolved
- M = Can be Merged or Morphed
Dragon Strike II (Acclimation: 15)
Feign Death I (Acclimation: 6)(NE)
Fire Breath I (Acclimation: 12)
Fire Shard Shuriken I (Acclimation: 5)
Fire Slide V (Mastered)***
Firestorm I (Acclimation: 1)
Flurry Strike I (Acclimation: 7)(NE)
Immolation I (Acclimat
ion: 6)
Mend II (Acclimation: 15)(NE)
Sweep Kick I (Acclimation: 11)(NE)
Passive Class Skills
Flame Dance V (Mastered)***
Lesser Dragon Skin V (Mastered)***
Sense I (Acclimation: 5)
Author Skills:
PoV Shift
Profession Skills:
Alchemy
Sense Heat
Sense Alignment
Spell Taint
Botany
Zoology
Non-Class Skills:
- Learned by having over 100 skill points.
Charge I (C)
Fidget Spinner III (C)*
Fondling I (C)
Juggling I (C)
Kick I (C)
Masturbation III (C)*
*III - Proficient is the highest rank for non-class skills.
**VI - Grand Master is the highest rank for class skills.
***Skills without Acclimation are considered Mastered, but still have merging options available.
Attributes:
Total Attributes (Attributes From Gear)
Strength: 34(8)
Constitution: 25
Agility: 42(6)
Wisdom: 27
Intelligence: 21
Charisma: 13
Luck: 16
Common Skills:
Air Guitar: 14
Awkward: 45
Belching: 16
Bend and Snap: 27
Birdwatching: 3
Bitch Slap: 10
Bop It!: 93
Breathing: 13
Button Smashing: 25
Charge: 113
Climbing: 99
Daydreaming: 32
Detect Bullshit: 2
Digestion: 3
Dodge: 36
Eating: 17
Enduring Breath: 1
Eyebrow Arching: 13
Eyebrow Waggling: 7
Fidget Spinner: Mastered
Finger Snapping: 3
Flatulence: 13
Flirting: 2
Flossing: 13
Fondling: 145
Girl Screams: 20
Hand Eye Coordination: 61
Handshaking: 2
Hand-Some: 3 x4
Handstands: 67
Headbutt: 5
Inappropriate Outbursts: 22
Juggling: 134
Jumping: 5
Kick: 126
Kissing: 1
Knuckle Popping: 76
Masturbation: Mastered
Moping: 18
Mumbler: 19
Negotiation: 15
Oral: 6
Patty Cake: 68
Perseverance: 25
Predictive Analysis: 7
Running: 7
Sexual Confidence: 24
Sexual Deviance: 69
Skipping: 7
Sleeping: 78
Smelling: 15
Smooth Talking: 22
Streaking: 39
Submission Holds: 33
Swimming: 37
Thumb Twiddling: 78
Thumb-War: 99
Unarmed Combat: 72
Uppercut: 10
Walking Upright: 19
Wiggle: 14]
“You stupid machine! I—die in a fire!” I waited thirty seconds for all my stats to scroll past and the bliss of sleep descended shortly after.
In Game - Day 5
Chapter 45
Location: Reptile’s Revenge
“C’mon Deuce, let's get out of here.”
“Yeayea, shoulda left last night, dum asses,” Earle chittered at us. “Now kobolds back, and not happy.”
“Well, what do you suggest?” I asked my companion.
“Heh, shittititties, boss getting smarter. I mighta done some ‘plorin. I’mma bona fide—”
“Out with it, rodent.” Amard wasn’t playing games, but she grabbed me as I sat up and kissed me hungrily. “Don’t think we aren’t going to talk about your goblin lover, but from now on, all additional partners you discuss with me. Understood?”
“Yep, you’re the boss,” I told her, and she flashed me a wicked grin.
“Good answer.”
“Ahem, ye two love birds done? Fuch… cousin… too much… swallows.” Earle was muttering the last part under his breath, but the bits I understood made sure I didn’t want to know the rest.
“Earle! How about you tell us how to get out of here and stop whining like a girl taking her first job as a hooker.” A hand slapped me on the back of the head, and I glared over at Amard.
“Yea, I gotta way out, I do, but ye ain’t gorna like it. It’s called the [Temple Run] an’ ye escape up der.” His little hand raised a furry finger towards the top of the room, and I could just barely make out a doorway. The wall was rough, and I figured I’d be able to climb it easily, and I had those pieces of rope.
“Alright, both of you stay here.”
I approached the wall and gripped the stone in four different places while pulling myself higher hand higher. I used my feet, to brace myself occasionally to let two of my arms rest, all in all, it went fairly smooth. I only lost one handhold when the rock broke loose, but my other three arms kept me from falling.
[Climbing +2
Climbing is now a Non-Class Skill which increases your climbing speed by 5%, and reduces stamina drain by 5%.]
Rolling over on to the ledge I laid on my back breathing heavily until a rock hit me in the face.
“Ye dum ass, ye shoulda waited fer the rest of my story ye dum muddafucha.” And this time Amard was there laughing too.
“What the hell?”
“There were stairs through a doorway behind the altar.”
I sighed heavily through my nose and heard the squirrel chittering and holding his sides while rolling on the ground. It took everything in me not to kick him over the edge, and the only thing that stopped me was Amard’s hand on my chest.
[Breathing +1]
“Calm down,” Her eyes caught mine, and she smiled at me. “Master.” She whispered the last word, and it sent an electric pulse through me that not even my anger could match.
[Amard has already seduced you, you will not be affected by Seduction from this person for another two days.]
She pouted at me, and I knew she saw the same message. Damn, that woman was dangerous.
“Ok, what is this [Temple Run] and remember our deal, Earle.”
“Yeayea, I gotcha boss, I ain’t gorna betray ye. Yea, yea. Listen, ye just gotta run. If yer gorna step through dis portal, ye going to set off an event. Da collapsing o’ dis temple. Ye gotta escape, an’ ye ain’t got much time. Der is no breaks; der is no stopping. To stop is to die.”
“First question,” Amard said holding up a finger. “How do you know all this? And second.” Another finger went up. “Where does this go?”
“I’mma servant o’ Lit Dungeo. We buds, yeayea, and he tells me. Itta ends up on da plateau ‘bove da basin, ou’side da dungeon. Capiche?”
“So this will avoid Butter’s ambush?”
“Ye gottit in one boss. Dat’s whya da fuching boss.”
Weapons and armor bits went into my inventory. The only things I kept on were my shoes and any pieces of cloth armor. If this was a speed trial, I didn’t want to be loaded down.
“Deuce, will you hold my stuff too?” Amard was holding out her staff and various pieces of leather and chain armor. Damn, she had way better gear than I did, no wonder she took none of the loot. Either way, I stuffed it all in my [Bag of Holding]
“Ok, ready to do this?” The question was partly to ascertain Amard’s readiness, but it also helped to psyche me up.
“Let’s do this.”
Chapter 46
Location: Temple Run
“Squirrel?”
“Bitch?”
I ignored his comment because his comeback was too quick to reply without looking like a bigger idiot. “Are you going to get on my shoulder?”
“Nope, gorna getton hers. Yer gorna get split up an’ dis way ye can find us on the outside.”
“What do you mean we are gonna get split up?” Amard asked, not looking nearly as comfortable with this as she was a few seconds ago.
“Well… ye gotta run, run, as fast as ye can and don’tcha stop fer nuttin. Dun worry, yer gorna end up in da same place. If’n yer don’t die. Boss dies a lot.”
“Shit tits. You dick; you think I won’t make it.”
“Shittitties, right, boss? Not betraying ya, juss calling it as I see it. Yeayea, yer so ded.” Earle was chittering.
“Hope you choke on your nuts, you furry abomination,” I growled and ran through the portal without stopping on the other side.
[You have entered the Temple Run
You are the 1,375th person to find a Temple Run.
Rewards gained depend on your speed, path you take, and extras you find along the way—happy running.
OTM: Most dungeons will have a sub-dungeon like this, but they are well hidden and usually need a triggering event to open them. Completing the run has the chance to grant you an additional bonus—aside from the fast escape. Run primate, move those little hairy feet.]
The initial entry point was wide, maybe five meters across, and sloped downhill. I didn’t question the logic of going downhill to pop up on top of a plateau, mostly because I heard and felt a rumbling and fear the traps had already started. After about ten meters I came to a room that had another ten tunnels intersecting with it and picked one at random.
“Yeayea, boss. Yer ‘bout ta die!” Earle squealed as they ran off down another path.
Every time I slowed down a trap tagged me, and even though they didn’t do a lot of damage, they’d whittle me down until I died. Boulders forced me to shift from the center, and the obstacles grew tougher from there. At times I was jumping over stone I couldn’t dodge around, and others I had to slide under flaming jets. The mechanic of the dungeon was simple—run and shift left, right, or center, and be prepared to slide under or jump over obstacles. Most important was keeping pace.
A chasm loomed ahead, and I felt my stomach clench in fear. There was no way in hell to jump across the gap. Some instinct, or maybe my luck, caused me to turn left when I slid under a jet of fire. Ahead was a side tunnel that was easily overlooked and had I not seen it, I would have jumped. Instead, I slid on loose gravel taking a sharp turn and ran into a few spikes on the wall which stung.
Sipping on another [Healing Potion], I kept moving. This tunnel was more narrow and had spikes of stone jutting from the wall randomly. The mechanics were the same, except I had to time my jumps and slides better, or I hit the spikes. A pin cushion had nothing on me, and I knew the only real reason I made it through that tunnel was because of my healing potions.