The Land of Trademark Online
Page 39
“Yup. She’ll probably be here shortly after the montage is over.
[PoV shifting to Dan…done.
Re-engaging vision…done.]
Dan had a big smile on his bearded face. He laid back, relaxed, as the big goth girl popped his dick into her plump mouth. The red-haired devil sat on his face and ground her unshaved muff into him so hard that he started experience autoerotic asphyxiation, which brought his level of pleasure to new heights. It was over almost as soon as it started, and all three of them lay there panting.
“If our Als catch us, they will hunt you down and kill you repeatedly.”
“Don’t care,” Dan said with a content sigh. “Besides, I created all of you out my prepubescent fantasies, now roll over so I can do butt stuff.”
“This guy is crazy, and I like him.” NPC laughed, while the people in the room went at it again.
“Are you recording this?” I asked him.
“Uh, no… next.”
[PoV shifting to Blaze Bots…done.
Re-engaging vision…done.]
This time I landed in the center of a new town. Wooden spikes had been hammered into the ground and string wrapped around each creating a grid pattern. A Blaze Bot with a 16 embossed on his forehead measured and staked off more.
“Architect, we need more wood for the longhouses.”
“Find 17, he is the foreman. He’ll know where the supplies are.”
This must be the High Society town that Blaze Bot 8 invited me to join. I was surprised at the number of people running, not that I doubted them, but this was insanely fast. There were a lot of wooden buildings already up, and they had even constructed a palisade around the area.
It was impressive, but I had to question the expertise of all these bots. The Spy, BB9 had said something about robot overlords, but most of the [Authors] gave a halfhearted laugh. The bots were notoriously bad at telling jokes, but had he been joking?
[PoV shifting to Daws of the Chapped Men…done.
Re-engaging vision…done.]
We landed in a decadent courtyard, and I knew we were in Shreddit. It was the buildings, and their style was distinct. The gurgle of a man-made creek caught my eye because it was the central art piece of the entire courtyard.
“Once you make money, you can have something like this built,” NPC said from beside me. “Oh, here comes the main show…”
Daws and her Chapped Men appeared, and they stood in a semi-circle around Emcee, I recognized him from before. The man was naked and on his knees with his forehead pressed to the ground and his arms spread out as far as they would go.
“I make Beefcakes!” One of the lizardmen said, and I was sure that is all he knew how to say. Beefcakes are good, but that creature had an unhealthy appetite for them, either way, he left the scene.
Daws ignored all of this, as she pulled Emcee up.
“Do you know what this is?” She asked as she handed him a kit she held. Emcee shook his head and gave it back to her. Not even I knew what it was, but NPC was chuckling, so I tried to hold in my sigh.
Daws stroked Emcee’s bare ass, and the man’s erection was hard to miss. I was suddenly uncomfortable with whatever was going on, but I couldn’t speak. NPC had muted me, so I turned back to the scene. Daws clamped the device on the man’s dick, and I flinched, fearing she was castrating him.
The woman kept stroking Emcee, and he never cried out. Instead, he closed his eyes and enjoyed the sensations if his breathing was any indication of enjoyment.
After he was limp once more, she pulled the device away and in a non-erotic way, I was glad to see the man still had his dick. Daws poured a blue liquid into the machine and then closed the top. The entire box glowed brightly and then something clicked internally. The box opened and out popped a replica of Emcee’s erect member, she gripped it and waved it in his face.
“Now I will always have a toy to remind me of my favorite toy. We will have so much fun with this,” Daws squealed in delight as the tip if it slapped against Emcee’s slack jaw. It all happened so quick he couldn’t even object, but seeing his mistress happy made him happy.
The shock on my face had NPC laughing again, and the scene blurred once more.
[PoV shifting to Squirrels…done.
Re-engaging vision…done.]
“Scott, yer seeing what I’mma seein’?”
The squirrel rubbed his eyes and watched the man sneaking through the forest below.
“Mike, I’mma thinkin’ we gorna need to tell someone. Dis can’t be good fer the realm. I’ve seen more [Unicorns] den dese guys.”
“Bullshit, ye ain’t ne’er seen no [Unicorns].”
“Exactly, yea dum muddafucha. I’mma tell Angel, he gorna wanna ‘ear dis.”
The two squirrels kept following the man below. Mike pulled out a [Banana Crystal] and peeled off the cover, which activated the device. Angel’s face appeared above the floating crystal.
“Mike. Scott. This better be good, those crystals are nearly impossible to find, and you wasted it.”
“Yeayea, boss. Look.” Mike angled the crystal downward at the man creeping below them.
“Holy shit, what’s an [Editor] doing in the Goddess of Game’s realm? Kill him, now! Then burn the body so no knows.”
The connection ended, and the two squirrels looked at each other and shrugged their furry shoulders. Moments later, the [Mist Squirrel Mafia] had gathered, and they jumped down with their sharp little daggers. “Die, muddafucha.” Mike growled.
“That’s motherfucker, you ignorant squirrel.” The editor moved like the wind slicing through the mafia at an alarming rate. Most of the squirrels were now using their [Mist] ability and fading in and out as they attacked. The [Editor] stumbled. “Killing me won’t stop my kind. I’m just a scout for the [Write to Market Authors]. We are coming, and you let the [Authors] know that. We are coming for you all!”
“Fuch.” Mike and Scott sighed at the same time, as they stood on the corpse of the [Editor].
The scene faded, but we had not shifted yet. Instead, NPC was rolling on the ground laughing. “C’mon Deuce, lighten up. That shit was funny because I sent that [Editor] in to fuck with the mafia.”
I grinned because it was a little funny.
[PoV shifting to Nomar…done.
Re-engaging vision…done.]
Rocks skittered away underfoot and tumbled down the lakeside cliff. The height left me slightly dizzy, and I stepped back and through the big minotaur staring down below. I followed his line of sight and saw myself standing at the bow of the ship, my four arms gripping the railing and gazing out over the water.
“What the hell?”
“Just watch, you’ll enjoy this one.”
Nomar’s hooves clomped to the edge of the cliff, and we could hear his heavy breathing.
“Finally,” he whispered. “I will break that mutant freak. Rip off those arms and beat him to death with them.”
The minotaur was about to climb down but then stopped. A faint glow came over him and grew in strength until he was practically shining like a sun.
Both the PoV version and the current ‘me’ version shone with an otherworldly light. It was confusing, but stars swirled around both of me or us?
“Shit tits, NPC what is going on.”
“Didn’t expect it to show up on this copy of you, but that is the [Inquisitor]’s power activating. It’s judging your commitment to the Goddess of Games.”
One after another the stars radiated light until they were all glowing and swirling about me in a spiral. Nomar appeared stunned.
“Ten stars? That’s impossible. No one receives ten stars,” the Minotaur growled with rage and frustration. Part of the cliff fell away when he stomped in anger. “His faith is pure and incontestable, the Goddess of Games approves.”
[PoV shifting to The Father…done.
Re-engaging vision…done.]
“Sir, we dealt with all the losers and betrayers. The gnoks are hunting for the instigators of the u
prising. Uh—are you alright?” The gnok asked backing away.
“I’m fine—make me another one of these.” The Father shook the glass and ice clinked.
“What is it?”
“A [White Russian].”
The gnok came back a few minutes later with the cocktail and handed it over. “Is there anything else you need sir?” The gnok asked, and for the first time I noticed he had a red belt, I didn’t know what kind of gnok the reds were, but I doubted it was a good thing.
The Father sipped on his drink and smiled. “You see my faithful soldier, I’ve got a new motto. War, hate, and the perfect [White Russian].”
The End.
Earle’s Note
Hey, look at ye, muddafucha, reading until the end. Unless yer a gawd damn gnok flippin’ pages to get me boss banned, den fuch ye.
Unner norma’ circumstances, dis is where boss woulda asked fer ye to lea’e a review. But he gorna get so many fuching one stars, it ain’t funny. The Father’s fanbois are out ta gettem, let’s call em gnoks. Talk about drama eh? Shittititties, right boss?
Don’t ye worry! Da boss is a cunt o’ da worse kind, he all up ‘ere makin’ money at yer expense, but ye gorta love ‘em. But he ain’t got nuttin on dat Father fucha. He da worst kind o’ vampire, sucking da life outta e’eryone ‘round ‘im. Wut a fuching tool.
Boss is da bess, so ye bettah watch what ya say muddafuchas, or yer gorna end up with a centaur head in yer bed, curtesy o’ da Mist Squirrel Mafia.
Fuch ye, bitches!
~Earle the Squirrel
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Urban Dictionary, look up Gnok and buy yourself a mug or a shirt. Yup, Earle is up to his shit as usual. If you buy one, post it in one of the Facebook groups and tag me. I’ll get a good laugh out of it.
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Blaze Bots
1 - Told You So (Itys)
2 - Conspiracist
3 - Truth Bomb
4 - The Counselor
5 - Alive, Number 5 is alive!
6 - The Barren - Runs the orphanage.
7 - The Poet
8 - Arms Master
9 - Spy
10 - Mayor
11 - Cook
12 - Artist (covers)
13 - Web Designer
14 - Dance Instructor
15 - Reviewer of Reviews
16 - Architect
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