Bless This Love

by S M Mala

  ‘I wrote to Rory’s family and thanked them for the diary. They left a note at the back giving me their email address. They live in New Zealand now.’ Suri knew the next thing was painful to say. ‘I mentioned I was pregnant and had miscarried, so I was all over the place. It was a dark time.’ She looked at Jack, who put down his cake. ‘And I told them I want something in memory of him. There needs to be something so people can know he was loved. By his family, friends and me.’

  ‘You know this is going to cause problems, don’t you?’ Jack gently said.

  ‘I’ve written you a letter asking for permission from your boss and the people who own the land. I know you guys own part of it because you’re forever complaining about the bumper cars when the fun fair comes every year.’ She handed over the envelopes before muttering, ‘And I’m sick of people treating me and my mother like we’re nothing. I didn’t do anything wrong other than not speak up loudly enough about what I witnessed. I had a hard time too. And my mum? She doesn’t deserve any of this.’

  Jack smiled and took another bite of his cake before wiping his mouth.

  ‘I saw Edgar Peters the other day,’ he began and stood up. ‘He was saying that you’re incredibly talented, though a tad lazy about pushing yourself forward.’

  ‘Did he tell you I was going to get the sack?’ she asked, sitting down, breaking out into a little sweat. ‘I’m re-doing my CV. I’m prepared.’

  ‘I’m not at liberty to tell you what we discussed but I think he’s in a bit of a pickle regarding that gigolo and yourself. Anyway, I have some news that you might find interesting.’

  ‘What’s that?’

  ‘He’s getting married to Annabel and wants a blessing in church.’

  Suri sat perfectly still and knew that was a very bad thing indeed. Jack grinned as if reading her mind.

  ‘Janet Peters will go mental,’ she whispered. ‘Which means she’ll doubly put her foot down about the plaque. And she’ll vent it at me.’

  ‘He wants it to happen in October, the blessing.’

  ‘He’s a divorcee.’

  ‘I don’t mind. He’s been part of this parish way before I arrived, and he’s very happy. She’s a lovely woman.’

  ‘You have to put up and announcement, don’t you?’ she said, leaning closer.

  ‘The banns, yes.’

  ‘Which means Janet Peters will find out?’

  ‘It has to be done for three Sundays in the three months prior or three Sundays in a row.’

  ‘When are you doing it?’ she asked, starting to smile. ‘I’d like to come to church that day.’

  ‘Oh no!’ he said, shaking his head. ‘You are not coming to church.’ Then he lifted the envelope up she’d given him. ‘Do you want me to support you on this?’

  ‘Of course,’ she said, watching him smile. ‘And I’d like Joe’s support but he’ll be biased, so I need yours.’

  ‘The parishioners have to agree.’

  ‘They don’t own the land.’

  ‘They could object.’

  ‘I see.’ Suri crossed her arms. ‘Then I’ll have to petition for it.’

  ‘You could tell everyone what happened and then they’ll know what you witnessed.’

  ‘I’ll end up hurting Edgar on many counts, and that’s the last thing I want,’ she quietly replied. ‘Yes, I’d love to tell Janet Peters but she’d say I was trying to tarnish Felicity’s image and what can I do?’

  ‘Much of this is your fault.’ Jack sat down next to her and shrugged, pushing out his large gut. ‘You could have let everyone know but you chose not to because you were hurting and pregnant. The rumour mill was in full flow, and now we’re left with a tale of a mad man murdering a young woman.’

  ‘Is that the bollocks they say?’ she laughed out. ‘Sorry Jack.’

  ‘I’m used to your foul mouth,’ he sighed. ‘You need to start fighting back. Mary suffers terribly with how they treat her, but give your mother credit, she’s standing her ground. It’s hard for her because if you won’t speak up, then she can’t. There’s no way she’d betray your trust.’

  ‘What are you saying?’

  ‘Fight fire with fire.’

  ‘So you’ve heard?’

  Edgar called her up to meet for lunch the next day.

  Suri knew things were looking bad as she’d heard nothing all that week from work. They were sitting in a posh restaurant and she could see Edgar was eyeing her suspiciously.

  ‘Heard what?’ she asked, taking a bread roll from the waiter then putting it down on her side plate.

  ‘I know Reverend Pinter told you yesterday,’ he smiled, refusing the bread. ‘What do you think?’

  ‘I think it’s wonderful you’re getting married to Annabel. I like her,’ she honestly replied. ‘She’s much nicer than the first one and she’s Mrs Henderson’s cousin.’ Suri looked at him. ‘You seem to like that family.’

  ‘Don’t be rude,’ he laughed, sipping his wine, giving her a knowing look.

  ‘And please don’t ask me to be a bridesmaid.’ Suri grinned as he laughed harder. ‘You’d make me wear peach, I can tell.’

  ‘What have you been doing this week? Jack said you were helping out your new boyfriend. He’s very handsome.’

  ‘Why are you surprised?’ she laughed, smearing her roll with butter.

  ‘Because the last man you chose was equally good looking, but happens to be a senior member of the company and married.’

  Looking around the room, Suri avoided eye contact for a moment before meeting Edgar’s questioning expression.

  ‘I can’t excuse myself on that. I told you the truth, and it’s not worth repeating.’

  ‘He’s highly thought of.’

  ‘Is this my last supper?’ she asked, shoving the bread into her mouth and chewing slowly. ‘At least it’s expensive.’

  ‘I don’t like him,’ Edgar said quietly. ‘I know how he operates, and I’ll be honest, I was very surprised when people told me about you two.’ Suri knew she’d gone bright red. ‘But if that’s what you needed, then who am I to judge. Now, you’ve found a more than honourable man but you could lose your job.’

  ‘I know,’ she said, sipping her drink and looking ashamedly away. ‘Ted was rude to me when you guys left, and it was insulting.’

  Edgar stared for a long time then frowned.

  ‘I’ll resign if that makes it easier. I’ve got a three-month notice period,’ she shrugged, letting out a loud sigh. ‘Can you write me a reference? Denise would only slate me to pieces.’

  ‘What do you want to do with your life?’

  ‘Be happy,’ she replied, gulping hard, knowing it was the truth. ‘Less angry about a few things. Find someone who I can love forever and who will love me.’

  ‘And that’s it?’

  ‘I’ve not got any other talents.’

  ‘You’re a good writer, you could turn your hand to that. And not forgetting a talented singer.’

  ‘I’m not going to join a talent show,’ she sniffed, then looked at him. ‘I don’t sing anymore.’

  ‘Jack said you sang for him a few weeks back, the evening of the memorial service,’ Edgar quietly said before looking sympathetically at her. ‘He said your voice sounds better than it did all that time ago.’

  ‘He’s old and going deaf,’ Suri replied, putting more bread in her mouth.

  ‘Why won’t you tell anyone what you saw that evening, Suri? What are you trying to hide?’

  ‘Pain.’ She bit her lip. ‘Horrible pain.’

  ‘From me?’

  ‘I didn’t mind being the scape goat but now I have to change things. You see, the problem with being in love with a Vicar is that the parishioners need to know he has the support of a good woman. As we know, they have fundamentalist women there who have listened to what Janet Peters has said and not to me. I didn’t speak up. But I will. When I’m ready.’

  Their starters turned up, and she’d ordered pate while he had a fish salad.
>
  Eating in silence, she wanted to know where she stood with work and waited patiently for him to say something.

  ‘I’m getting married on 4th of October at four o’clock,’ he said quietly. ‘And yes, you are invited. I would put a plus one, but Reverend Isley will automatically be on the list.’

  ‘That’s lovely. Do you want some of this?’ she said, holding up a fork full of the paste. ‘It’s very nice.’

  ‘I’m fine. Suri, I don’t want you to come back to the company.’

  Immediately tears came to her eyes.

  She moaned about working there but being let go meant that she had no options.

  ‘Listen to me and listen carefully,’ he said, while she dry chewed her food. ‘I’m giving you a sabbatical, fully paid, for six months. You need time to think about what you want. If you’re not interested in going further up the management level, then you have to find a role you want in life. But you have to voice the adult channel until we find someone else. Knowing it’s best to keep you out of the building, Peter is happy for you go to an external sound company.’

  ‘How will I get the information?’ she asked, now totally confused.

  ‘It will be emailed over to you. It’s all being sorted. You can record far in advance.’

  ‘What does Denise say about this?’

  ‘She has no say. I’ve overruled her. I’m informing your colleagues that you’re only working on this, and I’ve got you concentrating on another project.’

  ‘I don’t understand,’ she said, pushing her food away. ‘I’ve got no witnesses to say different to what he accused me of. I’ve slapped him in a public place, and he’s more important than me.’

  ‘Not to me,’ Edgar smiled.

  ‘Then they’re going to think your pet puppy is going around biting her tail, and you’ve put me down.’ She shook her head. ‘What are you getting out of this?’

  ‘Do you agree?’

  ‘I’d be an idiot not to!’ she said loudly, looking around and putting a napkin to her mouth.

  ‘And what I’ll be getting is the reassurance that you’ve had time to think about what you want, and where you want to go in life. It’s coming to the end of August, and it will start from 1st September. At the end of February, a month before you’re due back, you have to convince me you’ve found a focus.’

  ‘I think I can do that.’

  ‘And one more thing.’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘You have to sing at my wedding ceremony but no Stevie Wonder,’ he laughed.

  ‘You’re evil, do you know that?’

  ‘I’ve been set up.’

  She was in the pub with Naomi later on, huddled in a corner.

  ‘You’re a spoilt little brat, do you know that? Six months off, fully paid and all because you played a trick on that married prick.’ Naomi grinned. ‘What I wouldn’t give?’

  ‘I can’t sing!’

  ‘You better. Come on, a few tunes, and you’ll be sorted.’

  ‘Not in public,’ she said, looking at her wine. ‘And his wedding? He’s going to get me knocked off by the ex-wife.’

  ‘You can’t say ‘no.’ He’s been good to you.’

  ‘I don’t know if I can do it,’ then she looked over at the door. ‘Len’s just walked in.’

  ‘Really?’ her friend replied, getting the hump. ‘Can we ignore him?’

  ‘I’ve not seen him since I split with the Vicar,’ she said, looking away. ‘It’s awkward.’

  ‘So, you’re seeing Terry,’ Len interrupted, walking straight over. ‘That didn’t take you long, did it?’ He looked pissed off. ‘How’d you hook up?’

  ‘Hello Len, how are you?’ Suri said, standing up. ‘Would you like a drink?’

  ‘That was the best thing you could have ever done, taking me to that gig then out for a ‘let’s be friends’ drink,’ grinned Naomi.

  ‘Did it start then?’

  ‘I am never unfaithful to anyone, but when someone gives me the elbow because they’re not quite sure, you can be sure I’m out of there!’ her friend replied, loud enough for the whole pub to hear. ‘Terry is lovely, and we get on.’

  There was a grunt before Len walked away.

  ‘Bloody hell! As if my day couldn’t get any worse. What the hell are they doing this end of town?’ Suri said, sitting back down, looking at the door.

  Denise walked in; her face like thunder when she saw Suri.

  ‘I think we’ve got a certain effect on people today,’ said Naomi, flashing Suri a smile. ‘I take it that’s the half man, half beast you were talking about.’

  ‘Let’s go somewhere else.’

  ‘Nope. Terry’s coming to meet me.’

  ‘What?’ Suri shook her head. ‘Couldn’t you meet him somewhere else?’

  ‘This is my local and Len can stuff it.’

  ‘But they’re all friends.’

  ‘I don’t care.’

  ‘Oh great!’

  Suri glanced around and turned her body so as not to make eye contact.

  ‘The he-she woman is walking over,’ Naomi hissed.

  ‘Suri,’ Denise said and sat down without being asked. ‘I hear you’re taking a six month sabbatical to find yourself.’

  ‘I have. I’m here,’ she said, seeing Denise looked like she was squaring up for a fight while Naomi laughed.

  ‘You’ve landed us in big shit!’

  ‘You’ll find denying you were in the bedroom with Ted when he was left gagged and tied up, wasn’t my fault. But I got the blame.’

  ‘Don’t know what you’re talking about,’ she replied, flashing Naomi a dirty look.

  ‘She’s my best friend, and I tell her everything.’

  ‘Look love,’ Denise said, leaning closer. ‘You got yourself into this mess and punching Ted? What was that about?’

  ‘I slapped him for being insolent,’ she said, getting wound up. ‘I still have to work, you know.’

  ‘You’re just his pet. Edgar’s very own puppy. This time, he can’t help you. You’re being pushed out because the big wigs are coming over, and they need all trouble makers out of the way. Ted is an integral part of the team.’

  ‘Did he tell you that when you were sitting on his face?’ Naomi asked sweetly then smiled. ‘Like she said, she tells me everything. That’s a bit of filthy look I’m getting.’

  Denise stood up and walked away.

  ‘I can see why you don’t want to go back to work in a hurry,’ Naomi said, very loudly. ‘These menopausal women!’ Denise looked over her shoulder and the filthy stare was getting worse. ‘They should learn to shave more closely.’

  Suri started to laugh out loudly and sipped her drink. Naomi put an arm around her.

  ‘You should sing. It’d be good for you,’ she whispered into Suri’s ear. ‘I know you got upset a few weeks ago but that was because the man of cloth gave you the slip… before he slipped it in the next day.’

  ‘You’re crude,’ she grinned then frowned. ‘I don’t feel comfortable doing it at Edgar’s nuptials. All eyes will be on me and what will they be thinking?’

  ‘They’ll think, ‘Is she screwing the fit Vicar?’’

  ‘And now he wants us to be more public but after Sunday, they’re going to turn on him, I know it.’

  ‘Janet Peters can say what she likes and-.’

  ‘I need to get a plaque for Rory that’s the least I can do. It will also be a private thing for our baby.’ Suri swallowed hard. ‘I lost two things within a matter of months and I’m not allowed to be sorry or sad, only for Felicity.’

  ‘Are you sorry for Felicity?’ Naomi was staring straight at her. ‘You never said.’

  That was one thing Suri wouldn’t answer.

  Her feelings towards her deceased friend.

  ‘Oh my! What a gorgeous sight!’ sighed Naomi, snapping Suri out of her deep thought.

  Joe had walked in with a very good looking man.

  ‘That’s Terrence? Jesus, no wonder you’re happy
,’ grinned Suri at the guy who was a bit shorter than Joe, but they had a similar appearance.

  ‘He’s gorgeous,’ sniggered Naomi. ‘And very hairy.’

  ‘What? Like a monkey?’

  ‘Manly hairy.’

  ‘On his back? Yuk!’

  ‘Don’t be gross! He’s smooth there,’ Naomi giggled.

  ‘You mean you’ve done it with him already?’

  ‘Shut up! He’s coming over.’

  Naomi got to her feet and smiled as he kissed her on the cheek.

  ‘You must be Suri,’ Terry said, shaking her hand. ‘I’ve heard so much about you.’

  ‘On that note, I’ll pop to the loo.’ She glanced over and could see Joe was laughing with Len, who was looking over at Naomi. ‘I won’t be long.’

  As she walked away, she noticed Naomi was giving Terrence a full on kiss.

  Going to the toilet and doing her business, she returned to the pub. A fresh breeze came into the corridor, so she walked out into the garden area, where a few people were smoking and watching sport on the television.

  ‘Sing?’ she said to herself, not sure what to do about the offer. ‘And no bloody Stevie Wonder?’

  It was too good to be true but came at a price.

  Suri wasn’t quite sure if she could sing again for anyone other than Jack.

  Then she felt an arm wrap around her waist and lips touch her neck.

  ‘Hello,’ Joe said, nuzzling into her skin. ‘You look gorgeous.’

  ‘I prettied up for my lunch,’ she whispered, closing her eyes. ‘Keep on doing that, it’s very nice. And my boss is in here with some others having a drink.’ She heard him groan. ‘And I’m not sure if I’ve got a job.’

  ‘I’ve got enough for both of us to live on. You’ve seen the amount of food people make for me.’

  It was a pretty strong twist in her gut on hearing his words. It was the first time she could remember feeling safe in someone’s arms.

  ‘What’s the plan for this evening?’ she asked, hoping he’d say ‘bed.'

  ‘We have a few errands, and then we can go home and make sweet, beautiful music together.’

  ‘Ah,’ she said, remembering her dilemma and thinking out aloud. ‘I wonder if I’m capable of that.’