Bless This Love

by S M Mala

  ‘A wedding dress, bridesmaid dresses, sorting out a reception? I don’t know who we’re going to invite. Joe, do you know?’ He nodded now with his back towards her. ‘Well, that’s okay then.’

  ‘Being that you’re going to be a Vicar’s wife, they’ll be extra sessions to attend with me. I’ll put you through the ropes. All discussions will have to take place down the pub.’ Then the old man had a twinkle in his eye. ‘Now as I’m not married, and he will be, you’d be expected to cater for the committee meetings. You know, sandwiches and cakes, making tea and being amiable. I thought, before Christmas, we could give you a trial run.’

  ‘You’re taking the piss, aren’t you?’ she said, feeling flustered, knowing she’d have to cater for Janet Peters and her nasty friends. ‘Part of your committee won’t want me there.’

  ‘I’ll send you the dates,’ he said getting to his feet. ‘Now, have you warmed up? Do you know your tunes?’

  ‘Yes and yes,’ she replied, getting pissed off. ‘Who said I have to cater?’

  ‘I did.’ Jack took her hand and walked her out of the room, before turning to look at her. ‘You’re not being welcomed with open arms, so you’re going to have to impress them. I know it’s a long shot but to keep everything on an even keel, you have to pretend to show willing. All for the love of Reverend Isley.’

  ‘You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?’

  ‘It gives me a warm feeling inside,’ he replied, smiling at her. ‘Don’t let him down.’

  ‘I won’t.’

  ‘Somehow, I know they’ll see the good in you … eventually.’

  ‘In the name of the…’

  Joe was now splashing the three-month-old girl’s head with water as she screamed.

  Suri could just about hold on to the terror of seeing the poor child in utter distress while Jack found it amusing.

  It was the way Joe was holding the baby that made her do a double take. He knew exactly what to do. She smiled, seeing him hand over the baby to her mother and the look of relief.

  Now it was her cue to sing, so she did.

  ‘Isn’t she lovely’ now came trickling from her lips as the congregation felt a unity of relief as the baby stopped crying.

  As she sung, Suri didn’t feel too good but hid it as best she could. But something was bubbling in her throat, and she waited until the end of the song before taking a massive gulp of water.

  At the end of the service, she started singing ‘Love me tender,' her last song but stood by the font with Jack, who was checking his watch. The pianist, Mrs Howe, was playing happily away, and Joe had gone to speak to the family.

  Just as she was coming up to the last few words and the place had emptied, it was very sudden.

  She threw up into the font of holy water.

  ‘Jesus!’ Jack exclaimed. ‘Forgive me father. Suri?’

  ‘Oh dear,’ she said, not being able to hold her water down and threw up a second time.

  ‘Are you okay?’ Mrs Howe asked, stopping and turning around.

  ‘She’s fine,’ replied Jack, standing in front of Suri. ‘Carry on playing.’

  She was starting to retch as tears came down her cheeks. There was total fear that Joe would witness it.

  Jack managed to drain the font quickly, getting her bottle of sparkling water to rinse it out before escorting her to a pew to sit down.

  ‘Sorry,’ she said, trying to catch her breath. ‘I think it was nerves.’

  ‘I think it’s more than that,’ he said seriously.

  ‘I threw up into the holy water.’

  ‘It’s blessed vomit.’ Then he whispered. ‘I have been known to do the same thing after a heavy night.’

  ‘Jack, don’t tell him. He’ll just get annoyed.’ Suri burst into tears, quickly dabbing her eyes. ‘I’m going to the doctors next week. What if it’s something really bad?’

  ‘I’ve got an inkling what it is,’ he said, putting his hand around her shoulders. Then she caught him mumbling and looking up towards the ceiling. ‘Blessed Father, what have you done now?’

  ‘Are you all right?’

  A woman leaving the health centre was standing beside her. Suri was holding onto the wall for dear life. ‘You look a bit peaky.’

  ‘I’m-.’

  She couldn’t bring herself to say it.

  Nodding furiously, she was going to meet Joe at the coffee shop and looked at all the Christmas decorations, wondering how he was going to react.

  It was Friday afternoon and very cold, the weather taking a turn for the worse but there was winter sunshine that made up for it.

  Taking a deep breath, she walked down the ramp and towards the coffee shop.

  Then she spotted him in his large dark grey coat and scarf, sitting under a heater, drinking coffee.

  She sun was shining, outlining his perfect profile while he read something on his tablet. Joe smiled then laughed before turning to look at her.

  Her heart slumped with dread.

  Forcing a bright smile, she couldn’t, and burst into tears, making him stand up.

  ‘Suri?’ he asked, looking petrified. ‘Are you okay?’

  ‘Yes,’ she nodded, sitting down as he held her hand.

  ‘What did he say?’

  ‘Oh Joe! I’ve really mucked up.’

  If any time in her life she wished she could stop crying, it was now. Every attempt at trying to explain was muffled with her incoherent babble. She could see the strain on his face.

  ‘I love you,’ was the only audible thing she could say.

  Joe held her hands and tried to calm her down.

  ‘Take a deep breath and slow down,’ he said, looking at her. ‘Whatever it is, we can deal with it. Do you have to have some more checks?’

  She nodded.

  ‘Are you okay?’

  Second nod.

  ‘Is it serious?’

  She shook her head from side to side then nodded slowly.

  ‘Can you tell me?’ he said, now tears springing to his eyes.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ she mumbled, wiping her face. ‘You’re in so much trouble by being with me, this is going to make it more complicated.’

  Then he sat back for a second before leaning closer.

  ‘What is it?’ he asked, starting to smile. ‘Suri? Are you pregnant?’

  ‘Oh God!’ she sobbed loudly, putting her hands over her face. ‘What are people going to think? I’m so sorry, I-.’

  He pressed his lips against her mouth and kissed her very gently, which then turned into a very passionate tongue tingling kiss.

  Suri immediately wanted to go to bed but noticed he pushed her away.

  ‘This is the most wonderful news,’ he said, looking like he was going to cry.

  ‘Aren’t you mad?’ she asked, still trying to get her head around it. ‘We’re not married, you’re the local Vicar and you’ve knocked me up!’

  ‘Oh, I love you Suri Thomas,’ he said wrapping his arms around her. ‘You’ve made me the happiest man in the world. When’s our baby due?’

  ‘You see, that’s another problem. The doc said I was pregnant and asked me dates about my last period. With everything, I’d forgotten about it but I can’t be that far gone, maybe five weeks or so. I’ll get a scan in a few weeks then they’ll be able to date it.’ She closed her eyes and thought it was best to be honest, crying again. ‘I’m very scared. I lost a baby before. I had no idea.’

  ‘It’s an amazing sign.’

  ‘It’s a sign you didn’t use a condom,’ she mumbled making him smile. ‘And a sign that I love you.’ Tentatively Suri said the next bit. ‘You do want a baby, don’t you?’

  Joe started laughing loudly, taking her face in his hands before sighing, ‘Do you have to really ask?’

  ‘I thought as much.’

  Jack was rubbing his stomach after Sunday service. Suri, Joe, and Jack were sat in the pub having a late lunch. ‘I knew when you threw up in the font.’

  ‘She did what?’ J
oe asked, doing a double take, before taking a sip of his pint. ‘When did that happen?’

  ‘After the Christening,’ Suri meekly replied, putting a roast potato in her mouth. ‘Jack cleaned it up.’

  Joe’s face was a picture as Jack rubbed his chin before tucking into his food.

  ‘Given the reading of the banns for three weeks in a row, we can have the wedding on 17th January.’

  ‘Pardon me?’ she said, dropping her fork onto the plate. ‘That’s a month! I can’t plan a wedding in a month!’

  ‘It’s five weeks, and that’s more than enough time,’ he said, taking a potato off her plate. ‘What’s there to plan? Sausage rolls and a plate of cheese sandwiches will do.’

  ‘Jack, that’s too soon,’ Joe said, tightly holding onto Suri’s hand. ‘I have to tell my parents. They need to travel down. We have to push it back.’

  ‘If you held back a bit, my lad, then we wouldn’t be discussing it!’

  Suri had to laugh as Joe went red.

  ‘This is a shotgun wedding, and my dad’s not even alive,’ she said, putting a napkin over her mouth. ‘We don’t know how far gone I am. And I don’t want you mentioning it over Christmas. Can we have the banns from after New Year then get married on 24th?’

  ‘Okay, a one-week delay doesn’t matter, if that’s what you want,’ Jack bluntly replied. ‘The bottom line is that you’re pregnant; my Vicar is the father and you’re getting married.’

  ‘We could wait until after the baby is born?’ Joe said quietly. ‘Make it a christening and a wedding combination.’

  ‘And things do go wrong,’ Suri whispered, watching Jack glance sadly at her. ‘You know what I mean.’

  ‘Nothing is going to go wrong. This child would be like the grandchild I never had. Did I ever tell you why I never wanted children?’ he asked, reaching over for the gravy boat and pouring half the remaining contents over his food.

  ‘I never asked. I thought your flock were like your children,’ Suri diplomatically replied, knowing she’d heard a few rumours that there might be a few little Reverend Pinters scattered around the country.

  ‘Can’t stand the bloody things. Never wanted one!’

  Joe started to choke on his food as Suri slapped his back very hard.

  ‘That’s not very Christian, is it?’ she said, wiping her lover’s mouth and seeing he looked shocked.

  It was an expression he had supported for most of the week.

  ‘Don’t get me wrong, I don’t dislike all children, just a majority. They’re more interesting when they get older.’

  ‘You mean pretty young girls?’

  ‘When they hit thirty, they’re in their prime,’ he sighed, making Joe smile as he continued to eat. ‘Very much like you.’

  ‘Compliment accepted,’ replied Suri, feeling a little bit sick. ‘At least I know it’s not a virus. I’ve been throwing up most days.’

  ‘Suri?’ Joe said, turning to look at her. ‘You should have said then we would have figured it out quicker.’

  ‘I thought it was to do with work and you. Plus it’s been happening in the afternoon, so how would I know it was morning sickness?’

  ‘Making you sick so early on in the relationship,’ sighed Jack. ‘I remember those days so well. Thing is, you two don’t know each other that well and you’ve not been together long, have you?’

  ‘We were friends before we got together,’ Suri replied, sipping her water. ‘We broke up and then made up.’

  ‘You’re both going to have to come to my sessions about relationships.’

  ‘I don’t need to,’ said Joe, finishing his lunch and pushing his plate away. ‘I usually speak to-.’

  ‘Even you don’t know everything, like taking precautions, do you?’ Jack replied, raising his eyebrows while eyeing a sticky toffee pudding being delivered to an adjacent table. ‘Jokes aside, I-.’

  ‘You thought that was a joke?’ Suri mumbled, pushing her nearly untouched food towards Joe.

  ‘I am delighted you’re going to have a family, thing is,’ he said, stabbing at the roast potatoes and Yorkshire pudding while piling it onto his plate. ‘I’m not sure if some of the parish will be.’

  ‘That’s stating the bleeding obvious, isn’t it?’

  ‘Don’t cry.’

  Naomi was hugging her in their local French bistro as Suri couldn’t hold it in. ‘It’s wonderful news, and yes, a little fast. But God moves in mysterious ways, and it’s pretty obvious which way Joe’s been moving in.’

  Suri started to laugh, wiping her tears away.

  ‘It’s a really busy time of the year, and I’ve got an appointment for a scan on Christmas Eve, which I know Joe won’t be able to make.’ she sniffed, wiping her face. ‘And I’m petrified of losing our baby. Then there’s a wedding! Jack’s determined we get married on 24th January!’ That bit she hysterically shouted out, as her friend tried to placate her. ‘It’s happening so fast and I can’t slow it down.’

  ‘Suri, how come you didn’t know you were pregnant?’

  ‘I was feeling sick in the afternoons, not the mornings, so I thought it was a bug. How was I to know?’

  ‘You’re an adult,’ her friend meekly replied. ‘And you weren't safe?’

  ‘Sometimes,’ she shrugged, seeing Naomi was going to laugh. ‘Lately, less of the time because … oh, I don’t know! I blame the Vicar!’ Then she sipped her water. ‘He has had this expression of shock since I told him. I catch him looking at me, and I don’t know what he’s thinking.’

  ‘Then delay the wedding until the baby comes.’

  ‘I want to, and so does Joe but Jack? No! It’s like he’s forcing the pair of us to get married because he has found the moral high ground. Then I have to break the news to my mother and … you know if Janet Peters finds out, there’s no telling how much shit will be flying.’

  ‘Oh, you could make it a Vicar and Tarts theme for your wedding. It would be so appropriate,’ laughed out Naomi. ‘But just make sure Joe only wears his collar.’

  ‘Joe’s busy with Christmas, he’s not even told me what he’s up to. I know he’s planning to go to Newcastle for a few days and little else. He’s supposed to be moving in, but all he has brought, so far, is his guitar. I bet you he doesn’t turn up when we get married.’ Suri reached out and took a quick sip of Naomi’s red wine. ‘And no alcohol to see me through this. Can you believe it?’

  ‘I’m fabulous at organising things so I’ll sort out the wedding, along with your mother as she’ll have a say. You concentrate on staying calm and keeping well.’ Then Naomi took a deep breath. ‘And talking of moving fast, I’m moving in with Terry.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘It’s right between me and him, so we are going to be practically related.’

  ‘How?’

  ‘You don’t know much, do you? He’s Joe’s cousin.’

  ‘Really?’ Suri had no idea. ‘Joe’s not said a word. I thought they looked similar, but I thought that was a type.’

  ‘And his name is Isley, so if he pops the question to me one day, we’ll both have the same surname!’ laughed out Naomi, clapping her hands. ‘How funny!’

  ‘I’m keeping my surname,’ replied Suri, taking her friend’s uneaten chips and stuffing them into her mouth. ‘Suri Thomas-Isley.’

  ‘Your initials with be STI. Sexual transmitted infections!’ laughed out Naomi as Suri double blinked then mumbled,

  ‘This bloody thing with Joe is cursed!’

  ‘I’m really busy that day. Why?’

  Joe was unpacking, which was a loose term, as he seemed to be flinging his stuff around the bedroom. ‘Christmas Eve is non-stop madness.’ He let out a little laugh. ‘It’s ten days away, and I’m going to be up to my neck but I love this time of year.’

  Suri smiled, knowing she was torn on whether to tell him about the scan or leave it.

  And to make matters far worse, she hadn’t kept a record of her last period. From the look of her diary, the name ‘Jo
e’ was scattered throughout. Her warning signs of when she’d be grumpy, usually three days before she was due, had been omitted.

  ‘What are we doing for Christmas?’ she asked, knowing putting the royal ‘we’ might show she wanted to be with him.

  That’s when he stopped and stood rigid before blankly staring.

  ‘I mean, I haven’t really thought about it.’

  ‘This is the most important time of the year in your God calendar and you’ve not thought about it?’ Then she noticed he went a little red. ‘You don’t want to tell me, do you?’

  ‘Janet Peters, many months ago, asked Jack and myself to join her for Christmas lunch with a few other people who didn’t have relatives close by. We accepted, and I’ve not thought about it since. Then remember, I’m going to see my parents for a few days but I’ll be back for New Year’s Eve.’ Joe shrugged and carried on unpacking. ‘What are you doing?’

  He was going off to see his family, not even thinking she might want to go; which she didn’t. It was the last place she’d want to be, when he broke the news that she’d forced him into marriage by getting pregnant.

  She realised he was on a different planet. His focus on the birth of Jesus Christ had removed any romantic notion of them spending their first Christmas together.

  Maybe that was something she’d have to get used to.

  Being alone on Christmas Day.

  ‘I’m spending it with my mum,’ she quickly lied and walked out of the bedroom, wondering why she was getting so pissed off with him.

  Realistically, there was a matter of weeks before they got married, he’d not said a thing.

  And Joe never mentioned the baby since the conversation in the pub with Jack.

  He knew Suri was throwing up every day and was kind to ask how she was feeling, little else.

  Opening the fridge door, she saw the milk was running out and took the opportunity to step over Joe’s various boxes and clutter, so she could get some fresh air.

  ‘I have to go to the shops!’ she shouted, putting on her coat and walking out of the house before he could reply.