Bless This Love

by S M Mala

  It was a signal that her decision not to tell him about her appointment was right.

  She could miscarry alone and save him from making a monumental mistake by marrying her in January.

  And deep inside, Suri’s heart was breaking.

  ‘Suri Thomas.’

  She was standing at the hatch and waited to be ticked off the list.

  The bus ride to the hospital was nerve wracking. She had a few texts from Joe and gave short replies. All the way there, she kept thinking of how she’d explain what had happened.

  Suri was trying to put a logical head on it all, thinking what will be, will be.

  These things kept going through her head, even as she sat waiting to be called for an ultra sound. Glancing around, there were couples or women being accompanied by a friend or family member. Suri sat in the corner and kept her head down. People would obviously think she was a single mother.

  ‘Shit,’ she mumbled to herself and then noticed something hurtling towards her.

  ‘Suri!’ Joe shouted, trying to catch his breath, making her sit up in surprise. ‘Why didn’t you tell me?’

  ‘What are you doing here?’ she asked, standing.

  ‘I knew you were up to something,’ he whispered and didn’t look very happy, still breathing heavily. ‘You should have said.’

  She sat back down, and he sat next to her, resting the back of his head against the wall.

  ‘How did you find out?’ Suri avoided eye contact as she looked guiltily away. ‘I asked if you were free on Christmas Eve and you said you were busy.’

  ‘There’s busy, and there’s the baby’s first scan,’ Joe said and she could see he was furious. ‘I don’t know what goes through your head!’

  ‘I-.’

  ‘Suri Thomas,’ a young woman said, holding a thin file.

  Suri stood up and walked towards the door, turning to look at Joe, who was glaring at her. He slowly got up and followed. Knowing this was not going to be the happiest moment of her life, she lay on the table.

  ‘This morning I bled and I’m not sure if the baby is alive,’ she blurted out, trying not to cry. ‘I had a miscarriage about eleven years ago, and this is my second pregnancy. There might be something wrong; I don’t know. I’m petrified, you see.’

  ‘Suri,’ Joe said gently, sitting next to her, grabbing her hand. ‘Why didn’t you say?’

  ‘Let’s do the scan, and then you can see the consultant afterwards,’ the young woman said calmly. She then glanced at Joe. ‘And you’re a Vicar? Busy time of year for you.’

  He nodded but now looked anguished.

  ‘I didn’t want to say and get you any more stressed out,’ Suri whispered, feeling the cold gel on her stomach.

  ‘And this isn’t stressing me out? Finding out because Naomi thinks you’ve lost the plot. She called me to say you were scared and had gone slightly mad.’

  ‘Some friend.’

  ‘A good friend who cares, which is more than you do about me.’

  ‘That’s not fair and-.’ He stopped in mid-sentence and looked at the screen.

  ‘There’s the head, and you can see the spine,’ the woman said.

  ‘Aren’t you going to look?’ Joe asked, peering into her eyes.

  Then she heard the heart beat and sharply turned her head.

  There was a shape on the scan, and she couldn’t quite believe it.

  ‘It’s a baby,’ Suri said, moving closer. Then she looked at the woman and Joe. ‘And it’s alive.’

  ‘Looks fine to me but I need to check a few things,’ the woman said as Suri watched the various angles of the baby being scanned. ‘And do you know how many weeks you are?’

  ‘I don’t know exactly. I think about seven or-.’

  ‘Oh, I see’ the woman smiled. ‘Let me take some measurements and I can confirm it.’

  Now her angry fiancé was constantly smiling at the screen then kissed Suri’s face.

  ‘We’re having a baby,’ he whispered.

  ‘Still very early days,’ Suri replied, now praying nothing would go wrong.

  ‘Not so early days,’ the woman said, letting out a little sigh. ‘You’re thirteen weeks and two days, basically into your second trimester.’

  ‘Pardon?’ Suri said, sitting up a little.

  ‘When’s the baby due?’ Joe asked, looking shocked.

  ‘Let me see,’ the woman continued. ‘Around June.’

  ‘Fuck!’ was all Suri could say.

  ‘23rd of June.’

  Joe was holding her hand after they walked out of the hospital. He started to laugh. ‘That’s brilliant!’

  Suri was still in shock and had spent the last twenty minutes grilling the consultant regarding her intake of alcohol, late nights and lack of folic acid earlier on in the pregnancy.

  ‘Everyone’s going to think you proposed because you knocked me up!’

  ‘Mr Kemp said the baby was conceived around the beginning of October. Probably the night of Edgar’s wedding.’

  She stopped in her tracks and looked at Joe.

  ‘I’ve been pregnant since then?’ she gasped, feeling giddy. ‘Do you know how much coffee and wine I’ve drunk?’

  ‘Like he said, don’t worry about it,’ Joe said happily, kissing her hand for the hundredth time. ‘He said all looks normal, and it’s perfect. Oh and we’re not going to ask about the sex.’

  ‘From how unsafe we’ve been, I think half your congregation are going to do that.’

  ‘Very funny.’ He looked at his watch. ‘We better head back.’

  ‘I’ll get a cab,’ she said, putting her hand out which was then pushed back down.

  ‘We need to save money with a wedding and a baby coming up in six months!’ He laughed out loudly. ‘In about six months our lives will change so much.’

  Looking up at his grinning face, she couldn’t help but smile.

  ‘And for one of your many New Year Resolutions…’ he said leaning closer to her face. ‘…will be to tell me everything.’

  ‘Like what? I wanted to protect you because I thought I was having a miscarriage.’

  ‘Which you now know you weren’t, and it’s a normal thing.’

  ‘And you were busy.’

  ‘I’m here.’

  ‘Mostly I was scared something was wrong.’

  ‘Nothing’s wrong,’ he said shaking his head from side to side. ‘And tomorrow?’

  ‘It’s Christmas,’ she grinned, seeing him smile.

  ‘Where’s your mum?’

  ‘Pardon?’

  ‘Suri, your hearing’s a little all over the place. I said, where’s your mother tomorrow?’

  ‘I’m going to kill Naomi,’ Suri hissed, walking off. ‘I was thinking the worst and realised if I was alone, then I could cope with any bad news.’

  ‘You are not spending Christmas Day on your own!’

  ‘I’ve done it before. But then, I’d get pissed on fizzy wine, eat plenty of crisps and pass out. This year I was going to eat profiteroles. Didn’t you see the stack in the fridge?’ She noticed he was walking behind before putting his arm across her shoulders. ‘And you’d be home, eventually, tomorrow.’

  ‘We’re having a baby, and you need to relax and do nothing.’ He put his head down then cleared his throat. ‘Who was the man you were with, in the café, the other day?’

  ‘What man?’ she asked, thinking hard then realised. ‘Who told you that? Janet bitch face Peters?’ He looked away. ‘It was Ted, and he wanted a chat. I couldn’t stay long because I was going to be sick. He knows we’re engaged and thinks I’m making a mistake. He has also dropped the grievance, but Edgar didn’t tell me that. I reckon I’ll be signing on at the unemployment centre about the time I’m due to give birth.’

  ‘Do you think so?’

  ‘Unless I can convince Edgar I am employable.’

  ‘Not that. Do you think you’re making a mistake?’

  ‘I’m worried you might be,’ she said, letting out
a little groan. ‘I want it to be perfect.’

  ‘But it is,’ he said, crossing the road and waiting at the bus stop. ‘It’s not gone exactly swimmingly since we got together but it’s getting there. Maybe a little faster than we had both thought.’

  ‘Are you ready for this?’ she said, seeing their bus was coming down the road. ‘Being a dad.’

  ‘First thing’s first. We’re getting married a month from today.’

  ‘Oh shit!’ she said, realising that was the next big hurdle to jump.

  Telling the rest of the world and her mother… but not forgetting Janet Peters.

  ‘Stop munching on them!’

  Suri was trying to push Joe’s mouth away from her breasts when they went to bed. ‘You’ll suck the dear life out of the poor things, not to mention my nightdress.’

  ‘But they’re gorgeous!’ he sighed on Saturday night. ‘Take off your clothes, please?’

  Christmas and New Year’s had been and gone.

  It had been perfect and very romantic.

  He didn’t go to Janet Peters’ but stayed with Suri, and they ate profiteroles and turkey sandwiches. That’s all she wanted, was to spend the day with the man she loved.

  Joe had come back from up north, telling his family about the wedding but omitting the baby information.

  Some things Suri wanted to keep secret, even to their nearest and dearest, until after the ceremony.

  He’d not said much about his family’s reaction and she took that down to them to being unimpressed.

  Since Joe’s return, he was overly attentive, when not drunk, hung over or busy with work. She wondered if he was over compensating for bad news.

  ‘Tomorrow, Jack’s announcing the date of the wedding,’ she said, looking at him stare at her boobs. ‘Which means people are going to see we’re getting married.’

  ‘You look so horny,’ he said, resting his head on his hand. ‘I don’t know what happened since I went away, but you’ve blossomed.’

  ‘You mean these have,’ she said pointing to her breasts.

  ‘Full bloom,’ Joe groaned, burying his head in her cleavage. ‘Let’s make love.’

  Knowing he wasn’t going to concentrate, she grabbed Joe and turned him on his back, straddling his body.

  ‘Are your parents upset about us getting married?’ she asked tentatively. ‘Breaking the news to my mother was bad enough. I lied to her about wanting a winter wedding. Considering I’ve never mentioned marriage, she fell for it. Now I have to tell her about the baby.’

  ‘I showed them a picture of you and they could see why I was smitten. Then my niece said you were a princess, and I said, you certainly were to me.’ He started to pull down her straps. ‘Now show me your jewels.’

  ‘Isn’t that what I say to you, prince?’ she laughed, seeing he was ready to go from what was protruding between his legs. ‘What picture?’

  ‘One I took of you at Edgar’s wedding when you were singing.’ Joe grinned. ‘When you looked angelic and sweet.’

  ‘How are we going to explain about me being four months pregnant when we get married?’

  ‘Believe me, no one will be looking at your stomach,’ he said, licking his lips. ‘Even if the neckline is high, they’ll be looking somewhere else.’

  ‘Reverend Isley, you’re no help. What did your mum and dad say?’

  ‘They said ‘Aye pet, you’ve got a good one there’. Then my dad asked if I met you at church.’

  ‘And you said?’

  ‘You were sent by the heavens to keep me happy.’

  ‘You have to be honest with me,’ she groaned which was met with him letting out a little huff. ‘Please tell me if they don’t approve.’

  ‘They are deliriously happy for me because they can see I’m absolutely made up,’ he said, propping back on his elbows. ‘I’ve got a permanent fixture in a lovely parish, a good mentor, a sexy fiancé and I’m getting married. Little do they know I’ve put one in the font, so to speak, and I’m going to have my very own addition to the congregation.’ Joe pulled down her straps to reveal her breasts. ‘And what a package I have on top of me now. I can’t wait until you get really far gone. They’re going to be massive.’

  ‘Honestly? A man of God and that’s all you can think about? My tits.’

  ‘When I was home, I kept thinking about you all the time. I was in my old bedroom, and I wished we were there, with me.’ He let out a large sigh. ‘Now I'm pinned down on the bed by you, well, that’s the next best thing. Make love to me so I know I’m not dreaming.’

  ‘Before you enter the nightmare that is waiting for the pair of us tomorrow, have you thought how you’re going to respond?’ She noticed he was smiling to himself, shaking his head from side to side. ‘And people come to you at a time of crisis? I’m well and truly stuffed.’

  ‘You will be.’

  ‘And you’re not worried what people will say?’

  ‘Why should I be?’

  ‘Remember, not so long ago, you didn’t want to be with me based on idle gossip and nasty comments.’ Suri folded her arms across her chest. ‘So why do you think, now, you’ll be fine about it?’

  ‘No, no, don’t cover them up,’ Joe said, unfolding her arms. ‘This is different.’

  ‘It wasn’t and-.’

  ‘I made a mistake and suffered for it. Suri, stop reminding me because then I’ll know you have doubts.’

  She turned away, not wanting to reveal how much doubt she had less than a fortnight ago.

  ‘Look at me,’ he said, reaching up to turn her head. ‘Don’t doubt me. I don’t doubt you, other than your ability to tell me what’s going on.’

  ‘I explained the scan and Christmas Day.’

  A smile appeared on his lips again, and he nodded.

  ‘I won’t ever ask you to do something you don’t want to,’ he whispered. ‘But I would like you there tomorrow, when they announce it in church.’

  ‘Joe!’

  He started to laugh out loudly.

  ‘Okay, I’ll let you off but when we get hitched, you’re going to have to play nicely with the ladies.’

  ‘Not Janet Peters,’ she scowled, leaning forward and eyeing him up. ‘What am I expected to do?’

  Joe suddenly sat up, balancing her on his lap then removed her nightdress.

  ‘I’m talking about being a Vicar’s wife.’ She momentarily scowled at the thought. ‘Would I be called Mrs Reverend?’

  ‘You’d be called wife,’ Joe said, nuzzling into her neck. ‘My wife. On occasions, you’d host some gatherings and support me. When we do fundraisings, you will be at my side, smiling sweetly at everyone and-.’

  ‘What am I going to say if they ask me what I do for a living? Do I tell them I write porn links and voice them?’ Suri ran her fingers through his soft hair. ‘I don’t think that’s going to go down well, do you?’

  ‘You’ll be on maternity leave, won’t you?’

  ‘I have to speak to Edgar about that. When I spoke to Ted, I mentioned I wasn’t happy how my professional life had turned out. I do need to think. I have to work as you don’t earn a fortune.’

  ‘Oh.’ He pushed her back a little and looked confused. ‘You’re not going to stay at home and look after the children?’

  ‘Children?’

  ‘I want five.’

  ‘You can want! Whether you get them is another thing altogether.’ She snorted back her laughter. ‘Let’s get this one out safely then I’ll be happy.’

  ‘How many kids do you want?’

  Suri double blinked and realised he was perfectly serious.

  ‘I’m an only child, and I thought two,’ she replied and noticed a squint. ‘Three?’

  ‘I want a big family. Two’s all right, but three is good.’

  ‘I’m pleased we’re discussing it after the damage is done.’ It was over whelming, the feeling of love she had towards this man and Suri couldn’t help but grin. ‘I’ll see how many I can push out before they declare
my fanny is as wide as the Suez Canal.’ She kissed his cheek. ‘I want you to be happy.’

  ‘I want you to be happy.’ His mouth travelled around her face to meet her lips. ‘Now can we make love?’

  ‘You know it’s going to be fast.’

  ‘Just how I like it.’

  He kissed her very deeply, his tongue delving inside her mouth. She enjoyed the sensation of tasting him while his hand caressed her breast. Even that was tipping her over the edge.

  Then his other hand slowly travelled down as she bent her knees and slightly parted her thighs. Gently, he stroked the inside of her thighs, then rested his hand right at the top. He pressed his thumb against her nub, and she opened her eyes as he did the same. She held onto the back of his head, feeling him rub her very gently.

  There was a small spasm which made her gasp, but she wouldn’t release his mouth, wanting him to make her come.

  He read her mind, now using two fingers to cause a friction between her legs, and she felt her fanny burn with desire, contracting at his touch. She couldn’t hold onto the kiss, bending her knees higher and pushing her cheek against his as his mouth kissed her neck.

  The orgasm was fast and very strong while she gasped for air; then he sucked at her very sensitive breasts, making her shudder.

  ‘Sit on me,’ he said and she found it in her power to push him inside.

  It was pretty straight forward considering he managed to cause a lot of wet excitement between her legs. Grinding down onto him, it was very deep, and she was completely lost in his touch, feeling his hands and mouth travel all over her body.

  Again she looked at him, the dark hair and eyes, perfect nose and very handsome face.

  She still wasn’t convinced he was a real Vicar.

  But more importantly, she loved him like she loved no other man before and that made it all the more sweet.

  ‘That bad?’

  Suri had finished singing along to the service and made quite a few pennies that morning. Naomi had sneaked out of the church before the end to tell her about the congregation’s reaction. ‘Silence?’

  ‘I thought there were a few rumbles of discontent, and that was just from the men,’ said her friend, looking flushed and confused. ‘Don’t you think it’s odd? The way everyone just ogles at Joe?’