Bless This Love

by S M Mala

  ‘He didn’t love you; he loved me. And I know you would have manipulated yourself into his pants. I don’t excuse him. To murder the man I love because you didn’t want him to be with me was wrong.’

  She had to take a deep breath and step closer.

  ‘You took it all away from me,’ Suri said, holding back her tears. ‘Why did you do kill him? I know it must have hurt when you found out he’d died. That’s probably when you slipped away, isn’t it? But he’s not with you, I know it. He’s with our baby because I was pregnant and lost the last thing I had of him. Even his parents took his ashes and scattered them in Scotland.

  ‘And the good thing about this? While I’ve spent over ten years trying to come to terms with this, sitting on the same park bench, I met an angel and married him. Now I’m going to have an angel of my own, and it’s sort of turned out all right.

  ‘I know your parents are still hurting and as much as I can’t stand your mother; she shouldn’t feel the pain of losing her child. That’s bad enough. You, Felicity, I’m not sure I can forget, but I can forgive you. You were always an arsehole when it came to men. Pity you wanted your claws in mine and got him, with one stab of a knife.

  ‘And your mother? She nearly killed me the other night when I told her what you did. Still, she sees no wrong in you. I told her you deserved what you got, and she was upset. I didn’t mean it. I was angry. No-one deserves to die. It’s a waste of precious life. I wish, I wish you never wanted Rory then this wouldn’t have happened. You’d be here probably laughing at how fat I’ve got and married to a Vicar.’

  She let out a little laugh before gulping hard, feeling another twinge, and turned around to sit on a bench.

  Suri nearly stumbled backwards.

  Edgar was standing with Annabel, both looking shocked.

  ‘Edgar,’ she said and noticed his expression turned to pain. ‘How long have you been standing there?’

  He didn’t say anything, and then looked down to the ground then back at her.

  ‘Is that what happened?’ Edgar stared at Suri. ‘She stabbed that young man?’

  It was a sharp pain in her back and stomach that made her jerk a little.

  ‘Suri, is it true that you were in the car when Janet went into the lamp post?’ Annabel asked, stepping closer. ‘Are you all right?’

  ‘It’s been a hectic few days,’ she replied, seeing the man was going to cry.

  ‘Why didn’t you say?’ he asked, now the devastation hitting him. ‘Is it true?’

  ‘You’re late for church,’ she said, letting out a little groan. ‘How do you know about the accident?’

  ‘Janet said you put her off when she was driving,’ replied Annabel, glancing at Edgar. ‘But there are a few complications.’

  ‘Listen, please don’t say anything to anyone about it. Only Jack and Joe know and, well, Joe’s not very happy. I think it’s best we let this die down.’ Suri broke out into a sweat and couldn’t look at Edgar. ‘When the baby’s born we’ll talk, but not now.’

  ‘Are you saying Felicity intended to kill Rory McKeown?’ he persisted.

  ‘I’m pregnant and hormonal,’ Suri replied, taking all her gumption to look at him. ‘It was a private conversation.’

  Then she walked off to her familiar bench and sat down.

  She didn’t feel like singing and had been banned from attempting to stand on the bench. Orders were given by the bad tempered young Vicar before he let her loiter outside.

  Janet Peters hadn’t turned up to service, and Suri wondered if she was keeping a low profile or would make a massive entrance half way through. The fact she was blaming Suri for the accident made her laugh, but she wasn’t wrong. It’s what Suri told her that made Janet lose concentration.

  Now she wondered how long it would take for her mother to find out.

  Suri hadn’t thought it through. Her mother beamed with pride when she walked into the church holding the trophy. Everyone had made such an effort, and there was so much food. They were planning to celebrate that afternoon.

  Sitting on the bench, she realised where she would put the bench for Rory. Not close to the church, but away from where he lay dying. It was a perfect view of the church, and she could see the stained window of the angel.

  She’d replace it with the bench she had sat on for years. It was perfect.

  Another sharp twinge happened.

  They told her she would get aches and pains, and they had started since the early hours of the morning.

  Sitting in the warm sun, she felt it beat against her skin and wanted to lay on the bench and sleep. Her body was obviously getting ready for the baby turning up in four and a half weeks. Rubbing her stomach she smiled.

  Not sure how long she’d been there, the sound of her lovely husband’s voice came tinkling to her ears, and she hummed along, realising she was hungry. Getting up, Suri walked quickly back to the church.

  Something had changed, and she didn’t feel so comfortable when pressure came into her back. Waddling as best she could, Suri was met by some people leaving the church and went in.

  There were lots of smiling faces.

  Something she wasn’t used to.

  Then she noticed the scotch eggs and headed towards them. A surge of people came forward, giving her hugs and words of congratulations regarding the choir contest.

  She hadn’t done anything.

  Just sang to cover for her ill husband.

  Trying to break free, she managed to get some food and sit in the corner on a very hard chair, away from the chaotic celebration.

  Everyone seemed so happy, and she smiled before setting eyes on Joe, who was grinning while searching the room until he could find her. Tucking into her food and wishing she could have an alcoholic drink; Suri munched away on the party snacks.

  ‘You need to talk to me,’ Edgar said, bending down with a glass of wine in his hand, anxiously staring at her. ‘Who do you think you’re protecting?’

  A painful twinge occurred in her back, and she sat up straight, feeling a little hot.

  ‘You,’ she whispered. ‘And Janet, until I realised what a vile cow she really was.’ Suri closed her eyes, feeling the same sharp pain again. ‘I’ve just had a pretty bad forty-eight hours, with being in the hospital. I’m covered in bruises on my chest, and I keep getting muscle pain. They said this would happen.’

  ‘Maybe you should be sitting somewhere else.’ Edgar helped her up and took her inside the church.

  She noticed a comfy chair that Jack liked to sit on during service. Slowly placing herself down, she felt better.

  ‘Go and join the party. I’m only here because Joe won’t let me stay at home.’

  ‘Are you sure you’re okay?’ he asked, stroking her head. ‘Do you want me to get your mum?’

  ‘Let them enjoy the celebration. I’m fine. Just tired.’

  She could hear the echo of laughter and excitement but Suri couldn’t feel any of it. All she could sense was pain. Something didn’t feel right, and she wasn’t quite sure what it was.

  Then she suddenly felt sick. Knowing the font was not a good place, she went out the back way, towards the toilets on the other side.

  As she reached the toilet bowl, she threw up all her food and felt awful. Then there was the shock of another pain in her back. This time making her muscles freeze as she shouted out.

  This pain went on for longer.

  It was then she realised it was a contraction.

  Breaking out into a sweat, she tried to stand up but couldn’t. Not only was the rest of her body in pain but her legs had given way.

  Slowly, she crawled along the floor until she got to the basin, standing up and rinsing her mouth.

  Suri didn’t know what to do and felt another sharp pain, this time making her sit on the floor. They were similar to the ones she experienced through the night but stronger.

  Shouting out, she knew she wouldn’t be heard, and the only person who knew she was sitting in the chair w
as Edgar. Her phone was in her bag, which was by the chair, so Suri couldn’t even call Joe.

  The next contraction was totally unbearable, and she shouted out, but it was so painful no sound came from her throat but a gush came from her fanny.

  Her waters had broken.

  Drained of all energy, she didn’t know if she should clean up the mess, not wanting the men to slip over. She managed to reach up and get a few paper towels, throwing them on the floor.

  The bottom half of her dress was soaked and not knowing what to do, she felt like crying but managed to get on all fours, crawling to the door before another pain shot through her body. Getting back into the church, she was now in the front, and the noise was very loud. Someone had pulled the curtain across the back so no-one could see her.

  ‘Help!’ she shouted but knew it was a waste of time.

  Trying to get to her hand bag, and going on hands and knees, Suri was shocked by the ferocious pain that went shooting through her body and couldn’t move.

  ‘Someone please help me!’ she shouted out, hoping someone would hear her.

  She collapsed forward and knew the baby was coming. She could feel a pressure between her legs. Nothing she had learnt from the antenatal classes had stuck in her head.

  Breathing, pushing or timing contractions had gone out the window.

  ‘Let me see!’ She heard Jack say and heard footsteps coming towards her. Trying to sit up, she couldn’t and screamed out in pain. ‘What are you… oh my!’

  ‘I think I’m having the baby,’ she said, starting to cry. ‘Help me Jack! It’s too early!’

  He rushed forward, and his face had gone bright red.

  ‘Take off your knickers. I need to take a look.’

  ‘No!’ she said, turning to sit down and feeling another painful contraction.

  ‘I have delivered a baby before,’ he said rolling up his sleeves.

  ‘What baby?’

  ‘A cow.’

  ‘That’s a calf, not a baby! Get Joe! I need Joe! Get Joe now!’

  Looking flustered, he grabbed his phone then called for an ambulance before rushing out towards the back of the church. Next thing, Joe had run towards her, skidding as he fell to the ground.

  ‘The baby’s coming!’ she said, trying to hold her breath. She felt a contraction rocket through her body and screamed out, ‘And it hurts!’

  ‘How long apart have the contractions been?’ he said, looking totally shell shocked.

  ‘I don’t know!’ she bellowed. ‘I’m not supposed to be having a baby now!’

  ‘I’ve called an ambulance, and they’re on their way,’ Jack said calmly. ‘You do need to remove your underwear.’

  Suri couldn’t do anything as Joe pulled off her knickers and kissed her face. It’s when he looked down between her legs, the colour drained from his face.

  ‘I can see a head,’ Joe said, looking panicked. ‘It’s coming.’

  ‘Get my mum,’ Suri said, unable to take the pain. ‘I can’t do this, not without pain relief.’

  Jack ran out, and her mother came rushing in, looking like she was going to scream.

  ‘Oh, my baby, are you in pain?’ her mother asked. One look from Suri said it all. ‘You need to breathe.’

  ‘I can’t breathe,’ she said as Joe tried to stroke her head and was met with a slap. ‘No-one touch me!’

  ‘Hold my hand and squeeze when it gets unbearable,’ Joe said as she grasped it in her hand.

  The contraction was pretty fierce, and she realised the sound in the background had disappeared after she screamed her lungs out, all the time holding onto Joe’s hand.

  ‘That didn’t hurt,’ he said, smiling at her while he looked at her hand.

  She bit him, his eyes full of alarm.

  ‘Imagine that pain between your fanny, times a million!’ Suri shouted and heard Jack start to laugh loudly. Then she began to sob. ‘It hurts, it hurts, it hurts!’ Turning to Joe. ‘I love you.’

  ‘Oh Suri,’ he said, kissing her face. ‘You bite as hard as you want.’

  ‘He can always get a shot for rabies afterwards,’ Jack laughed out. ‘Who’d have thought you’d give birth in the church? You are full of surprises.’

  ‘Your mouth is going to be full of my fist if you don’t belt up!’ Suri shouted out.

  ‘Suri, mind your manners,’ her mother huffed as Joe started to laugh.

  ‘I have to turn around,’ she said, catching her breath. ‘I can’t stay like this.’

  ‘Gently turn over,’ her mother said but Suri did it at full speed.

  ‘I need to push, I need to get it out!’ Suri screamed and couldn’t stop, pushing hard as she could and feeling so much pain; she thought she’d die there and then.

  To her, it was the best option.

  ‘It’s coming!’ her mother said excitedly. ‘Look!’

  Joe turned his head to look down as Suri saw a baby’s head coming out.

  The sight itself made her want to faint.

  ‘One more push,’ her mother said calmly. ‘I delivered baby goats when I was younger, so I know what to do.’

  ‘What is it with you lot comparing me to a farmyard animal?’ Suri asked breathlessly.

  Then it happened, the second pain, not as bad as the first one.

  Her baby cried as she turned to see what was happening.

  ‘You have a baby boy!’ her mother said, starting to cry herself. ‘A little baby boy.’

  Passing the baby through Suri’s legs, as he was still attached to the umbilical cord, she held her child as Joe quickly took off his shirt and wrapped it around the baby.

  Covered in the biggest load of jelly and muck, Suri gently wiped his face, all ugly and squashed. She glanced at Jack and noticed a similarity. But the old man was sobbing into his hands, looking on in awe.

  Her eyes travelled up to the angel, looking down at her, and she smiled.

  When she turned to see Joe, there were no tears.

  They looked at each other and laughed.

  What else could they do?

  ‘I’ve had a baby in church,’ she said, shocked at seeing the child.

  ‘It’s the most perfect place in the world,’ he replied, kissing her face. ‘But I might have to go to A&E about the bite.’

  ‘Who’d have thought Suri would have a baby boy in the house of God?’ said Jack, trying to get onto his knees then he started to pray. ‘This is a monumental day. You are touched by the hand of Christ.’

  ‘It was his messenger that touched me and hence I got this,’ Suri said, smiling at her pug faced, bundle of joy. ‘And I wouldn’t change it for the world.’

  ‘I’m never having sex again.’

  Suri was holding her baby who was suckling on her breast, the following day after being discharged from hospital.

  Joe was smiling at her, looking in total admiration.

  ‘The stitches in my fanny have seen to that. And my breasts hurt,’ she continued, noticing he wasn’t listening. ‘Why aren’t you talking to me?’

  ‘I’m listening,’ he said, stroking her back. ‘He’s gorgeous.’

  ‘Well, at midnight I thought he might as well turn into a pumpkin, based on his face. Who ever said all babies were beautiful lied.’

  ‘He is beautiful.’

  ‘He looked like Jack,’ she whispered, starting to laugh which hurt her stitches. ‘No sex, ever again.’

  ‘I love you,’ he said, pulling her top so he could see the baby nursing on her nipple. ‘He’s a lucky little fella getting to munch on you all day.’

  ‘Has grandma recovered from the shock?’ she asked, kissing Joe’s stubble, knowing he was mesmerised by the size of her breasts. ‘And Jack got an eyeful so I’ll never hear the last of it. He’s probably going for counselling and-.’

  He grabbed her face and kissed her gently on the lips before smiling.

  ‘Well done my wife for giving me this baby. And you were amazing yesterday. I was very impressed you didn’t swear in my
work place. I was waiting for a list of expletives, but you were good. And I forgive you for biting me.’

  ‘What about the party? I was being wheeled out with you, standing there topless. Did they ask you to dance on the tables? I bet a few people swooned.’

  ‘I didn’t notice. What are we going to call our son?’

  ‘Don’t worry, I’m not going to ask him to be called Rory,’ she said, seeing Joe turn away. ‘That was the past, and this is the future, our child.’ Suri grinned. ‘So I was thinking. What about Jack Joseph Thomas-Isley? So many Christian names and he can pick an alternative when he gets older.’

  ‘Jack?’

  ‘It’s a nice name and Reverend Pinter would be made up. We can’t call our son Mary as that’s a little bit off the wall. And Joseph? Because of you. Thomas is my maiden name and Isley is our surname.’

  She took the baby off her breast, making sure it was covered up before her husband got other ideas. Burping the child gently, she heard a massive reaction and smiled.

  ‘Just like daddy when he has a pint.’

  Then she handed him over to Joe, checking there wasn’t vomit on her shoulder. He put the delicate bundle in his arms and looked lovingly at his son.

  ‘You’ll support Newcastle United, Blackburn Rovers or Sunderland,’ he said while Suri shook her head from side to side. ‘Or a London team that you’ll never be able to afford to see because of the cost of the tickets.’

  ‘This is your speech to our son?’

  ‘I told him everything he needs to know yesterday,’ Joe sighed, kissing Jack’s forehead. ‘And that we loved him more than anything else. His birth will be remembered for many things, including his mother screaming the house down, and the party that happened after he was born. What a wonderful day! And next month when he gets christened I-.’

  ‘Joe?’ Suri sat up and readjusted her clothing. ‘Don’t you think we need to discuss this?’

  ‘I’m a Vicar,’ he said, frowning. ‘I have to get my child christened.’

  ‘You proposed in church, we got married in the church and I gave birth in that bloody church!’ she huffed, looking at her excess weight. ‘And I need to lose some of this blubber before next month.’