“Still holding onto that I see. You’re fighting an uphill battle, but a massage might be a good enough reason to watch.” Madeleine stopped, her face pensive. “You know, I’m curious. I’ve never actually asked you. What’s your favorite movie? Is it Star Wars?”
“There are so many good movies out there, I can’t pick one. It usually depends on my mood.” Chloe continued after a moment’s thought. “You can’t go wrong with sci-fi thrillers. I’m not much of a scary movie fan, but I will watch any science fiction flick at least once.” She paused, trying to decide if she had a clear favorite. None came to mind. “Star Wars is up there with Jurassic Park.”
“I never watch those—well, aside from the time you broadened my dinosaur horizons.”
Chloe stared over at her, astounded. “Give me a minute.” She shook her head. “I thought the Star Wars miss was a fluke. Now I think I’m in shock. There’s really no science fiction in your life?”
“Those movies never really interested me. They’re so long and…”
Chloe could not let her finish. She brought her hand to her face, covering it. “Movies are long to you, but you will willingly sit down and power through something like War and Peace for days on end. That makes complete sense…”
Shaking her head again, Chloe made up her mind. “I can’t let you keep hating on these movies without at least trying to watch them. It will happen. I will make it so. If I have to unleash the hounds of hell, I’ll do it.”
“Whatever you say,” Madeleine responded. She furrowed her brow. “So if you can’t pick a favorite movie, then what’s your favorite song?”
Chloe shot her a bemused look. “There is no way I can possibly answer that. There are too many. I can list off dozens for you, but I could never pick just one.”
“Well, then, play one on the guitar and I’ll be satisfied.”
“Wow, easy to please. I’ll have to remember that.” Chloe cringed, knowing that no one on earth could have heard that response and not immediately recognized it as flirting. Maybe Madeleine was buzzed enough to let it slide. There was nothing for it but to forge ahead. She picked up the guitar beside the couch and paused. “Any requests?” she asked as casually as she could muster.
“How about Ed Sheeran? You listen to him, right?” The teasing tone of Madeleine’s voice didn’t suggest that she had been put off by Chloe’s slipup.
Firmly reminding herself to be good, Chloe warned Madeleine, “Good choice. Though once I start I’m likely to butcher his whole album.”
“Fantastic. I’m all ears.”
Madeleine pulled her legs up onto the couch, curling them underneath her. She turned her body toward Chloe and leaned back, ready to listen. They were on opposite ends of the sofa, but Chloe felt Madeleine’s presence as if it were a tangible thing, from the weight of her stare to the faint smell of citrus that clung to her.
She couldn’t remember the last time she’d been so nervous. She summoned all of her concentration, focusing on remembering the opening to “Photograph.” After the first bar chord, she slipped into a comfortable rhythm, gradually adjusting to being the sole object of Madeleine’s attention though the energy in the air was difficult to ignore.
After her fourth or fifth song, Chloe heard a shuffling sound next to her. Madeleine was repositioning herself, draping her legs over Chloe’s. Fighting the urge to rest her hand on the knee that was now resting on her thigh, Chloe channeled her energy into the last song.
While her powerful response to being around Madeleine was terrifying, wondering how Madeleine felt about her was infinitely more frightening. Setting down the guitar, she chanced a glimpse at Madeleine’s reclining form and gulped. She was even more beautiful in sleep. Strands of hair had slipped from her braid and were lying softly on her cheekbones. She looked so peaceful. Chloe brushed the few stray hairs from her face, then slowly slid out from underneath her legs. Completely intrigued by the puzzle that was Madeleine Levit, she moved to grab the blanket off the back of the couch, partly to cover her up, partly to manufacture some distance between them.
Once she was sure that Madeleine was comfortably settled on the sofa, Chloe seated herself in the rocking chair across from the couch, wrapping herself in the extra blanket she’d found. As sleep claimed her too, she wondered how on earth she was going to maintain the emotional distance she so desperately needed in order to keep from messing up again.
* * *
Chloe opened her eyes slowly. The sun was up, but barely, and Madeleine was still sleeping soundly on the couch directly across from her. Her pulse picked up as memories from the party resurfaced. Why in God’s name had she brought up Interview with Fran? More importantly, how was she supposed to interact with Madeleine now? It felt last night as though something had changed, that Madeleine had given as good as she got during their time together. Rather than risk an awkward encounter, though, she decided to slip away without saying any farewells. Perhaps she could pretend on Monday that she hadn’t blatantly been flirting with her.
As she entered the kitchen, she was roused from her musings by the sight of Anne washing dishes.
“Good morning! You’re up early.”
“I can never sleep in late after parties,” Chloe replied. “I was always the kid bored in the morning while my friends snored in their sleeping bags. Can I help clean up a bit?”
“Honestly, there isn’t too much left to do. Stacey had to leave last night so she helped me box up the leftovers and throw out the plates and whatnot.”
“Good, so you and Taylor can relax and celebrate today!”
Anne set the pan she’d rinsed in the dish drain and wiped her hands dry.
“If by celebrate you mean lounge on the couch while Taylor prepares for basketball practice Monday, then yes, we’re going to get crazy here.”
A shiver of excitement went up Chloe’s spine at the thought of their first practice. She couldn’t wait to meet her players and get to know them. Playing sports had brought her so much joy throughout her life, she could only hope to share that with the girls on the team this season.
The shuffling of feet on the stairs surprised Chloe. She assumed Taylor would sleep in this morning. Chloe hadn’t pegged her as an early morning riser.
“Did I hear you say practice?” Taylor rounded the corner in the kitchen.
“I did, sweetheart. Chloe was wondering how we would celebrate. My money is on you putting together a practice plan with your JV coach.”
Taylor went to Anne, wrapping her arms around her fiancée and placing a kiss on her cheek. “Actually, we’ve already talked about tryouts, so you’re in luck, lady.” Turning to Chloe, Taylor switched gears. “Are you heading out?”
“Yeah, I want to get a run in and go over some of the drills we talked about.”
“Let me walk you out.” Taylor kissed Anne gently, tenderly touching her cheek, before stepping away.
“Thanks for having us all over, you two. Last night was incredible.”
“I’m so glad you could make it. It was a pretty special night,” Anne said. “Now drive safe and I’m sure I’ll see you here this week after practice!”
Chloe headed outside with Taylor.
“So how are you really feeling about tomorrow?”
“Honestly, I’m so excited I forget to be nervous. Most of the time anyway. I just want to make sure these girls have a good experience. I want them to take something away from the season besides better shooting form, you know?”
Taylor nodded. Chloe unlocked her Jeep, and opening the door, leaned on it.
“So, I don’t know everything about coaching,” Taylor said, “but I can tell you what I know for sure. The most important part of being a high school coach is teaching kids how to be good people. That’s also the most rewarding part. It’s all about fostering respect and commitment. If you can show them you care, about them and about doing things the right way, then you’re doing it right.”
Chloe nodded and Taylor went on. “I know you k
now basketball, but more importantly I know you’re good people. If you respect every single player, they’re going to respect you. Then you can teach them about basketball and have some fun in the process. Just be yourself and follow my lead. This is going to be fun, don’t you worry.”
Chloe took a deep breath, grateful for Taylor yet again.
“You’re right. This is going to be fun, isn’t it?”
“You bet. Now get out of here before I start asking what happened between you and Madeleine last night.”
Chloe jumped into her Jeep before Taylor could ask her anything she didn’t have an answer to. Pulling out of the driveway, she couldn’t suppress the seed of optimism taking root within her. She might not have any answers about where she stood with Madeleine right now, but she was beginning to enjoy the ride.
Chapter Twelve
November
Chloe stood at half-court, waiting for everyone to finish their free throws. Since the first practice they had ended with each player shooting ten. Every time they had to shoot with a different partner than the one from the previous practice. The girls would report to Chloe if they made fewer than seven shots. Each one under seven was a sprint. Chloe told them if the team shot a combined seventy percent, she would run a “forty-eight.” None of her players had ever heard of the sprint, but after running eight court lengths in under forty-eight seconds the first time, they were not eager to do it again. The possibility of watching their coach run one definitely helped to motivate them. This drill was difficult, but it was a good lesson on the importance of both foul shooting and supporting your teammates. The conditioning element was an added bonus.
While the pairs of girls milled around mid-court as they finished, it made Chloe proud to hear them cheering on the last pair of shooters, Amanda and Claire. Neither of the two had played much basketball before this, but they were eager to learn. Today, Amanda had finally hit the sixty percent mark, cheering like crazy when her last shot went in. While her form was not pretty, she had come a long way in two short weeks.
“So what’s the final number ladies?” Chloe called to the pair.
“Coach, I went six for ten!” Amanda’s excitement eclipsed the fact that there were still a good number of sprints to run.
“Great work!” Chloe shouted, holding up a hand and waiting for a high five from her. “Stick with me and you’ll be shooting ninety percent in no time!”
Amanda beamed and the rest of the girls high-fived her.
“All right, balls in, and get to the line, ladies. You’ve got five full-court sprints or one suicide. Your choice.”
Collective whining ensued. The girls mumbled good naturedly, talking amongst themselves to discern the lesser of two evils. Macy, one of Chloe’s most animated sophomores, convinced the girls the five sprints were better, primarily because running suicides went on forever.
With the group on the line, Chloe gave them their instructions. “Forty-five seconds. Anyone in after that shoots a free throw. A miss means another sprint for everybody so pick your teammates up. Ready…”
She blew the whistle and the girls were off. She was already so proud of the group. There was a lot of work to be done, but they had all embraced her coaching style as well as each other. She had high standards and expected one hundred percent effort at all times, but they knew she was invested in each one of them and gave them her respect. Chloe celebrated the victories of each of her players with enthusiasm, jumping up and down and emphatically pumping her fists. Nothing compared to seeing their excitement when they succeeded. Watching them hustle, drill after drill, she saw that they were starting to believe in themselves now too.
The girls had ten seconds left and Emily was just reaching the far end of the court.
“Ten seconds, ladies!”
Suddenly cheers burst out. Despite their own fatigue, they yelled words of encouragement to Emily to finish strong. Grimacing, Emily ground out the final sprint. She squeaked in at forty-four seconds, flopping her body against the wall to catch her breath.
“Bring it in, everybody,” Chloe called, and the girls jogged in to center court. “Great practice today! If you guys keep this up we’re going to have a lot of fun this season!” She paused. The girls were exhausted but excited. Perfect.
“Tomorrow Coach Rafferty is going to be bringing us the pinnies and we’re going to start to put in some of the offense, if you can all stay focused!” The girls nudged each other excitedly, ready to start seeing the practices become less like summer camp and more like a real team practice. “And don’t forget, we’re at six tomorrow. Hands in, Emily. Count us off.”
Emily leaned in, putting her hand on top of everyone else’s. “‘Together’ on three. One, two, three…”
“Together!!”
With that, the girls headed to the sidelines to get their bags, chatting amongst themselves before heading off to ride home with their parents.
Walking over to her bag on the bleachers, Chloe searched for her phone. She needed to check to see if Hannah had texted her. They were going to Skype tonight to catch up and Chloe expected to be asked to describe her team in detail, along with the offense she was planning on installing. Sure enough, she had a text from Hannah asking if eleven was too late. Chloe told her she should be free. If she fell asleep Hannah should just call her until she woke up. Tossing her phone back in her bag, she went to lock up the cage of balls. Macy was still on the court shooting, though, so Chloe stopped. The rest of the girls had left, so she decided to head over and talk to her.
“If you’re still up for shooting, practice wasn’t hard enough,” Chloe called to Macy as she made her way across the court.
“No, we definitely ran enough. I didn’t realize I was joining the track team.”
“Hey, if you made more foul shots you wouldn’t have to run as much. Maybe you should be shooting those instead of threes?” Chloe teased, only partially kidding. Macy laughed, defiantly taking another shot from behind the arc. Her personality was coming to life more and more at these practices.
“Why aren’t you sprinting out of here to go eat like everyone else?”
“I don’t think my mom’s here yet. Plus, I kinda wanted to ask you a question.”
“Shoot,” Chloe offered, watching as Macy took a jumper from the elbow. Her rebound bounced toward the opposite wall, and she took her time walking after it. Chloe was curious what had the sophomore so pensive.
Walking back, Macy lobbed a pass to her coach. Chloe took the shot from where she had been standing, four feet behind the arc. When the shot went in, hitting nothing but the net, Macy groaned and Chloe knew she would feel the need to hit a three of her own. Hoping that her competitive spirit would lessen her anxiety about sharing whatever was bothering her, she let her take her time formulating her question.
“This is random, but I think I might like someone. It’s sort of complicated. How do you know if a crush is the real thing?” Macy spit out hurriedly.
“Well, I guess that depends on what you’re feeling,” Chloe said tentatively, unsure where this was leading. Macy had pinged her gaydar from the first practice.
Chloe knew she had to tread lightly. She wasn’t sure yet what subjects were okay to discuss with a high school student. She had been accustomed to speaking with college students with a greater degree of freedom. What were acceptable high school student conversations? She caught a glimpse of Macy’s furrowed brow as she dribbled around the paint and her concern peaked. She vividly remembered what it felt like in high school to be crushing hard on a close friend, unsure if it was possible for those feelings to be reciprocated. Not to mention the fear of disclosing to someone else something that was so confusing.
For Chloe, saying it out loud, verbalizing that she was gay, had made it more real. It had forced her to deal with her “otherness.” Or at least what had felt like otherness back then. She didn’t know exactly what she could or should say, but she wanted to provide Macy someone to talk with at least.
&nbs
p; “I don’t know, Coach. Never mind, it isn’t important,” Macy mumbled, dribbling toward the baseline.
“Macy, I’m really glad you said something to me. You probably want to get out of here, huh? Because talking about what’s going on in your head makes it more real and that can be scary. But it can help to talk it out, and whatever you say here stays right here between you and me.” She paused. “I have a feeling you haven’t said anything to anyone about this even though you’ve wanted to.” Chloe raised her eyebrows at Macy questioningly.
“How did you know?” Macy asked, her hands gripping the ball so tightly her knuckles were turning white.
“Give me a little credit. I survived high school once,” Chloe said gently. Macy’s death grip relaxed slightly. “So, why is this crush throwing you for a loop?”
“Well, because I don’t know if it’s a crush. I haven’t felt this before. And never with, well, with someone like this.” Macy shot a three and missed badly. She chased down the rebound.
“Okay.” Putting her hands up, waiting for the pass, Chloe contemplated how she might steer the conversation. “Can you try and give me some more hints about why this is a problem?” Chloe caught Macy’s pass and dribbled to the right wing.
“I don’t know, Coach. I don’t know if it is a problem. I don’t know how my friends will react or if I even want to tell them.”
“Well, the first thing you have to figure out is how you’re feeling, don’t you think?” Chloe asked, turning away from Macy to shoot the jump shot. She recognized the cautiousness, the way Macy danced around the main issue. The painstaking way she avoided using pronouns and chose phrases that were purposefully vague. She had talked to her own friends in high school like this when she was chewing on the idea that she might be gay. Even when she had come out to her brother she had talked in hypotheticals at first, building up the courage to spit it out.
“Yeah, I guess so.” Macy caught the ball as it came through the net and began dribbling around the perimeter to choose a spot to shoot from. “It’s scary because I can’t tell if it’s just friend zone or if sh…” Macy froze, with her back to Chloe. She left the thought hanging in midair, instead taking another shot which hit the back rim. She bounded cross court after the rebound.
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