“These are for you. There’s a base layer and some leggings, a pair of my favorite socks, and snow pants. The wrist guards and helmet are in there too, but don’t worry about those until we get on the slope.” The words fell from her mouth in nervous clusters, Madeleine’s nearness nearly eclipsing her ability to speak.
As Madeleine reached for the bag, their fingers brushed. Heat rushed to Chloe’s face, and her skin tingled from the contact. She saw Madeleine’s eyes dart down to their hands. The electricity of their interactions was creating a magnetic field stronger than any electromagnet Chloe had ever studied. It kept pulling them closer. Chloe felt herself leaning forward, then, realizing that the electricity was swelling beyond their ability to control it, she pulled back. She needed to figure this out before they both had regrets.
“Why don’t we head over? They’re probably waiting for us. You can change and I can get you set up with a locker.” Madeleine nodded, and they began walking toward the others.
* * *
Sitting on a wooden bench between the back deck of the lodge and the path to the lift, Chloe took several deep and calming breaths. She began stretching her legs, trying to loosen her knee, aware of just how tight she was, already loaded with nervous energy. Stacey sat down next to her. Leaning in to Chloe so that no one around them could hear her, she whispered, “It doesn’t matter if she doesn’t make it down once today. We both know you’re the reason she’s out here instead of inside reading.”
Casually, she straightened up, and it registered with Chloe that everyone in the group suspected that things were happening between them. Great. Just great.
“Stacey, I love you to death, but I don’t think that’s true. Plus, even if it is, is that supposed to make me less nervous?” Chloe’s exasperation only caused Stacey to laugh loudly, drawing the attention of a group of tiny little ski girls walking by.
“Just have fun today. And no, the group hasn’t talked about anything that might or might not be happening. But speaking for myself, I like seeing you guys together. You’re both happier. That’s all I’m saying.” Stacey threw her hands up in a gesture of surrender.
“We only gravitate toward each other because we’re the single losers,” Chloe muttered halfheartedly.
Another full laugh was the only response she received. Stacey stood, patting Chloe’s shoulder comfortingly, and beckoned her forward to join the group, which was walking toward them. Chloe’s fears were confirmed when she saw Madeleine. Even in snowboarding gear, she was a knockout. Her hair, braided again, lay over the collar of her ski jacket. Her form, despite layers of padding, still pulled Chloe in. Chloe’s mouth went dry. She had been pointedly trying to focus on anything other than her desire to be around her. The attraction was so powerful and so distracting that she wasn’t sure it would allow her to convey even the basics of snowboarding.
“Madeleine, I’m telling you right now, if Chloe isn’t cutting it, find me and I’ll take over. You’ll be making full runs in no time.” Jaysa’s bouncy energy was contagious.
“I’m holding you to that.” Madeleine nodded in J’s direction.
“And I’m telling you, when and if you would like a break from the experts, I’ll join you in the lodge for a nice snack.” Anne’s disarming quip was perfectly timed, as usual.
“Thanks, everyone, for the votes of confidence. But right now there are a few too many cooks in the kitchen. You guys head up, enjoy, and we will see you around.” Chloe shooed the group away, which allowed Madeleine to relax marginally.
“Now that they’re gone, come sit with me for a second.”
Madeleine’s face relaxed almost completely at the prospect of gathering her thoughts.
“We can take this at whatever pace you feel comfortable with. I honestly just want you to give it a shot because I think you’re going to really enjoy it.”
Madeleine nodded, encouraging Chloe to go on.
“So, here’s my thought process. The best way to learn this is to just do it. I’ll be with you every step of the way, but first we should cover some basics. The best spot for that is flat ground.” Chloe stood, offering a hand to Madeleine and shivering a little when its addictive warmth hit her system. Today was going to be sweet, sweet torture.
Walking to a flat patch twenty yards off, Chloe began explaining the mechanics of the boards and the boots. Madeleine picked that up instantly, easily clipping in and out.
She then moved to having them practice getting up on the board from a sitting position. Madeleine stood staring questioningly as Chloe sat on the ground, both boots in her snowboard.
“I’m not doing this to be cool here, as hard as that is to believe,” Chloe teased. Madeleine cracked a half smile, though she still didn’t join Chloe.
“The reality is you’re going to fall today. And there is nothing worse than feeling like a beached whale up there, not able to stand back up or flailing around and falling back and forth every time you try it.” When Madeleine didn’t respond, Chloe pulled out her last bit of persuasion.
“It’s either try it a couple of times down here until you’re comfortable or try it halfway down the slope with gravity pulling you forward and experts zooming past you.” The idea of avoiding potential embarrassment was enough to convince Madeleine. She clicked in and joined Chloe on the ground.
After Madeleine spent about ten minutes practicing hopping up, walking with the board on one foot, and mastering the awkward stopping motion, Chloe decided she was adequately briefed to make her first foray on the mountain.
“I know it’s intuitive, but this is all about balance, using your core and muscle memory.” She paused. “If you can force yourself to take it slow in the beginning, it’ll be worth it in the end. I promise I’ll get you to enjoy it.” Chloe saw a question in Madeleine’s eyes and amusement at how those words might be taken in a different context. Shit. Well, that hadn’t been what she meant, but it was pretty solid advice. They headed for the lift.
The sky was bright, though not blindingly so, and she could see rolling hills and lush Maine countryside for what felt like miles in either direction. A faint breeze rustled the treetops.
“This view might just be worth it. If I hate this, can I ride the chair lift all day?”
Chloe saw through Madeleine’s joke, glimpsing an open vulnerability, and felt her resolve to remain distant begin to waver. Each new view of Madeleine was more intriguing than the last.
“You could try, but I don’t think the staff would approve.”
Shaking her head, Madeleine resumed her appreciation of the view as they bounced along up the mountain. Desperate for a distraction from the warmth Madeleine had stirred within her, Chloe steered the conversation back to snowboarding.
“Do you have other questions? We went through it a little fast, but you’re picking everything up really quickly.”
“I don’t have specific questions necessarily. I’m probably the least confident about getting off this stupid lift and the whole process of turning and stopping. You know, nonessentials.”
Chloe giggled in spite of herself, then added, “I know it doesn’t feel like it, but you know enough to start. The best way for me to explain it is to have you doing what I’m saying as I’m saying it. I’ll be with you the whole time, I promise.”
Madeleine shook her head and turned away with a sigh.
“What?”
“I don’t know how you do that.”
“Do what?”
“Make me think I should trust you.”
Chloe’s breath caught. She didn’t know why Madeleine was so leery about trusting others, but those fears must be deep-seated, and that scared her. What had happened to make her so wary? She wanted her to trust her, more than she could ever say. When she was with her it was as if they had been together for ages. And her laughter…
Chloe was well on her way to losing herself in their connection when the clanking of the chair lift reminded her that they needed to get off and soon. She got herself
ready and then turned to Madeleine.
“Okay, are you ready for this?”
“No.”
“Yes, you are. Remember, stand when I say to and keep pushing with your other foot. Ready? And…stand!” Together they leapt off the lift, though toward what exactly Chloe was not certain.
* * *
By the time Madeleine showed she was comfortable on the board, long shadows were stretching across the mountain. She had picked it all up so easily. She had spent the morning familiarizing herself with the feel of the board, the basics of getting back up, catching a few tough edges, and finding her balance. After lunch, though, something had clicked, and she was making it down the bunny hill every time without falling.
As they moved up in difficulty on the various trails, Madeleine grew more and more confident, her enjoyment of the challenge evident in her movements. It felt as though they had laughed their way through the day, periodically joining with Stacey or Taylor to show off her new skills. Madeleine had taken that break Anne had promised, too, sitting with her while Chloe, Taylor and J took two runs down Digger’s Peak.
Now that the lights were coming on, the pair decided to attempt one of the steeper trails that swung around the outer edge of the mountain. From the mouth of the trail, a wide clearing gave them an unobstructed view of the sky, which was growing progressively darker. Madeleine slowed to a stop at the precipice, her breath blooming in clouds of moisture in the cold night air.
She turned to Chloe, her face completely open, without a trace of hesitation, conflict, or fear. Chloe knew now what utter contentment felt like. Sometimes things were unequivocally good.
“Are you up for this?”
“Absolutely.”
“I’m thinking you should start as fast you want. That way you can watch me finish.” Realizing the words again could be taken in a different context, Chloe grinned. Madeleine’s corresponding blush told her that apparently her mind had gone to a similar place. Though tempted, she decided it was best to leave well enough alone. “I’ll be waiting with open arms.” She made her escape without watching Madeleine’s reaction.
The freedom she experienced on each run was intoxicating. She always felt so powerful as she sliced her way down a slope, the whole mountain sprawled before her and snow beckoning her forward, a feeling amplified tonight by Madeleine’s presence.
All too soon she found herself at the base of the trail. She turned to watch Madeleine’s final descent. She was maneuvering with apparent ease, nearly halfway down the run. Fluid in her turns, she was graceful and confident, nothing like the tense bundle of nerves that had walked out of the locker room in the morning.
The mountain was getting busy, Chloe noted. It had been lively but not crowded during the day, but traffic had picked up when the lights had switched on. A group of kids was about fifty yards behind Madeleine, trying out tricks on their skis.
Madeleine was on the final stretch now, joyful exuberance on her face. Even as she delighted in this utterly relaxed version of Madeleine, though, Chloe found her attention being pulled to the teens behind her, who were gaining on her with reckless speed. Their vector pointed directly through Madeleine’s path. The force with which they were hurtling down the hill was alarming and increasing with their acceleration. Judging from how much smaller they were, two of them had to be in middle school. They were less than fifteen yards behind Madeleine now. Her eyes darting between the young skiers and Madeleine, Chloe mentally calculated their trajectory and prayed Madeleine would speed through the last stretch; she was in a race without knowing it.
Ending her run, Madeleine threw on the brakes three yards from Chloe and stopped, her back to the trail. Relieved, Chloe slid over and was getting ready to congratulate her when a flash of movement on the hill caught her attention. On instinct she dove behind Madeleine, intercepting a rogue skier as he sped toward Madeleine’s exposed back. She wrapped her arms around the boy, her body twisting at the impact. Turning her body in midair to keep from landing on him, she slammed into the ground, her shoulder taking the full weight and force of the collision. They slid past Madeleine and on for another couple of yards. When finally they came to a stop, heat and pain converged on her collarbone.
Shit. Please don’t let it be broken. I can’t deal with another surgery.
She sat up slowly, relieved when she was able to do so without debilitating pain, and focused on the skier lying on his side next to her. He didn’t seem hurt physically and had been wearing a protective helmet, but he wasn’t more than ten years old, and his round face was blank with the shock he was feeling at his wipeout.
Chloe caught Madeleine’s attention as she started to rush over to them, waving her off with a shake of her head. Madeleine stopped, nodding as she realized what Chloe was trying to tell her. Returning her focus to the boy next to her, Chloe addressed him quietly.
“You know that was way too fast with so many people out here, right? And that you might have hurt yourself or someone else very, very badly?”
He nodded his head. Glistening tears pooled beneath his eyes and Chloe’s heart melted. Her voice softened. She stood up and reached out to help him up, ignoring the throbbing pain near her shoulder.
“Now that that’s out of the way, are you okay?” A quick nod was all she got as he accepted her right hand and sat up.
Hoping to calm him down before his friends got there, Chloe leaned forward, whispering so that only he could hear her. “Your friends might pick on you, but that’s only because they’re jealous you crushed them.” She leaned back and was finally rewarded with a giggle. He would be fine. She hoped he had learned a little something from his wipeout too.
“I think you should probably apologize to my friend here and we can call it even.”
“Okay. Thanks for breaking my fall. Sorry I smashed you.”
Chloe nodded and he stood, righting himself in order to ski over and apologize to Madeleine, who was talking to the group of older boys at the spot where she and Chloe had been standing moments earlier. Chloe knew it would take a lot of courage for the little guy to apologize in front of his friends, but it needed to happen.
Interested in how the apology would play out, Chloe stretched her left arm forward to push off the ground and stand up. An explosion of pain in her collarbone took her breath away. Instantly retracting her arm, she carefully redistributed her weight so she could stand without using her left side, then slowly stood and went to gather up her board, cursing her luck. For all the injuries that had plagued her in the past, she just wanted to be a normal person for once and stop finding creative ways to break things. Chloe wiggled her fingers, then bent her elbow. She didn’t have any numbness or tingling, all of which she had learned meant there was a problem.
“Well, that certainly wasn’t the ending I had planned. Are you okay? Did you hit your head?”
As Madeleine silently appraised her for signs of injury, Chloe eased her hand into her jacket pocket, hoping she wouldn’t wince. She refused to have to acknowledge another injury in front of her. This was getting ridiculous. Not to mention the fact that she couldn’t even contemplate what a trip to the ER would cost her. She was still paying off her last visit to urgent care.
“I’m fine. I just landed hard on my shoulder. It’ll be sore I’m sure, but that’s all that hit. How was the apology?”
Madeleine quieted, temporarily mollified and distracted by the memory of the boy.
“It was cute. He was nervous and embarrassed, but he powered through it. His brother and cousins, that was the group he was with, apologized to me before he even got over to us. They had been teasing each other and said they would race, but Clark there apparently didn’t realize they hadn’t meant a race to the death.”
“Kids are dumb. I know, I was the dumbest.”
“I can only imagine. How did you ever make it out of adolescence with all of your limbs? You’re perpetually getting slammed into or broken.”
Chloe laughed, Madeleine’s consternatio
n reminded her of her mom’s habitual worrying throughout her childhood and then her college basketball career.
“I mean, I always thought I had things under control, but you know the saying, I break even. Eventually. I think it’s a positive outlook. Mom on the other hand likes to point out that regardless of the outcome I always manage to break something. It’s a bit of a mantra for Dad, something he reminds me of every time things don’t go as planned.”
“Well, I’m just glad I’ve only seen one of the aforementioned breaks. Your nose was traumatic enough.” Madeleine shook her head, though she didn’t shake the smile from her lips. “How did you even get there in time? He must have been flying. You guys went about eight feet, if not more.”
“They had been gaining on you for most of the trail so I knew they had to be moving. There’s a little mini ramp up the hill from here. I saw him mishit it. It was a blur, but I reacted just in case. Better safe than sorry.”
“I’m sorry you took a hit, but I appreciate it. I don’t think I would’ve bounced back so quickly after getting blindsided by a human cannonball. Plus, my parents are still getting over my last injury. They would have shown up here tomorrow if I’d been leveled. They’ve always supported me and my dreams, but they both consider worrying a competitive sport. It’s how they show love. Suffocating at times, but genuine all the same.” She paused, again studying Chloe, clearly attempting to discern the level of truth to her claims at being uninjured. “You’re sure you’re all right?” She eyed Chloe suspiciously, apparently not convinced that there wasn’t some damage. She moved to close some of the distance between them. Chloe’s ability to breathe declined rapidly, and her heart rate skyrocketed. She swallowed twice, hoping to find words that made sense.
“Honestly, I’ll be sore tomorrow, but I’m fine for now.”
It wasn’t the whole truth, but it was partly true, she rationalized. She was fine in that she would survive. But she was also in considerable pain. Maybe she was convincing herself she didn’t need to be looked at, but she simply wanted to be okay for once. Madeleine didn’t need to know the details.
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