Al Moreno And the Crystal of Gosia

by Mason J Schneider

  The elevator door slid open and something prodded Alfred hard in the back, forcing him to stumble out of the elevator- which then quickly shut its door behind him.

  “Really? You had to shove me out?” Alfred called behind him as a man wearing black dress pants, a white button up shirt, and a tie approached him holding a menu.

  “Hello sir, I assume you are here for your arranged date this evening. What was the name?” he asked as a large smile spread across his face. His skin was riddled with acne and he had thin blonde hair falling all over different sides of his head.

  “Uhhhhh...” Alfred hummed as he looked around the dining area, searching for his date.

  A loud bang sounded from the right and as he turned and looked Alfred saw an extremely tall, green tentacled alien woman beating the lights out of a waiter holding a tray of food.

  “Sir?” the waiter brought Alfred’s attention back.

  “Hold that thought.” Alfred stuck his finger in the air as he replied and shuffled over behind some large decorative ferns that were planted in antiquely-ornate pots.

  He poked his head up through the leaves to get a better look at the situation. Near the center of the restaurant there was a very nice bar, which was close to where he was supposed to be sitting. Alfred watched as the waiter who had been attacked by Cynthia was now kneeling before her and pleading for his life.

  “I BEG YOU, PLEASE NO! The chef says we have no human baby here, and I don’t know why your date is late, JUST PLEASE DON’T KILL ME!”

  Cynthia appeared to pause for a moment, as if considering what to do next. By now the waiter who had greeted Alfred was getting involved.

  “Madame, did you say you were looking for your date?” the waiter asked quickly, a bit of a French accent coming out.

  “Don’t do it man. Don’t do it, come on.” Alfred whispered to himself.

  Cynthia roared, exposing a very strange mouth filled with bumps and long gooey tongue. A putrid smell began to fill up the room, and other people at the restaurant coughed as if it were poisoning them.

  “I don’t um...know exactly what that means ma’am, but perhaps you’d like to know that your date is here! He must be a little shy though because he’s over there peeking up behind those ferns.” the waiter continued, pointing directly at where Alfred sat crouched.

  “You had to be that guy.” Alfred cursed the man as he stood up quickly.

  Cynthia turned and looked in his direction for the first time, and Alfred finally saw her face. Her head was what could be described as a cylinder of flesh, with two enormous black pits for eyes. Below these eyes were two slits, which Alfred assumed was her nose, and below these was the strange and disgusting mouth that had been revealed moments before.

  “Hey there sweetie, sorry I’m late.” Alfred addressed the baby-eating monster and looked at his wrist where no watch was present before continuing, “Oh would you look at the time- it’s so late and I’m awfully worn out. I’ll have to take a raincheck, so long! Farewell!” he spoke very quickly at the end and then dashed back towards the elevator.

  “Somebody stop him, he’s trying to ditch his date! He’s banned from the cruise!” the waiter who had exposed Alfred previously was once again shouting, and once again ruining Alfred’s day.

  “Seriously man what the hell? Elevator 041 take me down! Quick!” Alfred yelled as he dove towards the door.

  The door slid open and Alfred crawled in.

  “Hello sir! How was your date? Did you manage to sneak off to hear the rest of the description recording? How smart! My my, you are brave Alfred!” 041 praised its passenger.

  “Um the date was great! Short and sweet! Take me down. Now, please.” Alfred explained quickly to the elevator.

  The greasy-faced waiter was now rushing towards the open elevator door, followed by two more waiters behind him.

  “What floor would you like to go to sir?” 041 asked pleasantly, seemingly unaware that Alfred was in an intense situation.

  “Any of them, just not this one! CLOSE THE DOOR ELEVATOR 041!” Alfred was now yelling angrily.

  The first waiter had by now made his way to the open door and was reaching his arms out as if to grab Alfred. Acting quickly, Alfred jumped back and kicked his right leg up and then out all in the same motion.

  WHACK

  The kick landed square on the waiter’s face. He crumpled to the ground, his neck oddly bent, and groaned in pain. Just then Elevator 041 finally decided to slide shut its metal door. It slammed directly onto the ankle of the ugly waiter. Alfred heard the bone crack.

  “AAAAAOOOOOUUU! GREAT GOD OF ASTROPHUS, AAAAAAGHH!” the waiter screamed in pain.

  Alfred took his boot, the same one that had whacked the waiter in the face, and shoved his mangled foot out from under the door- which then shut the rest of the way. The elevator began to move. Alfred could tell it was going up by the force of motion below his feet.

  “Resuming comment by Darius Jordan.” 041 declared.

  “No, I don’t wa-”

  “But damn she had a FAT ass. Whew lord!”

  “End Recording.”

  Alfred let out a long sigh before speaking, “Elevator where are you taking me?”

  “Since you gave me the fabulous duty of selecting your floor, I figured by default you’d want to go back to your room. But that’s no fun, so we’re going up to the top floor- Space Dome!” 041 answered happily, ending the word “dome” in an extremely high note.

  “Wait no, take me down to my room just really fast so I can grab my stuff and then yes, we can go to the Space Dome!” Alfred offered.

  “You got it sir!” the elevator responded joyfully.

  “Yes! Yes, thank you!” Alfred seemed amazed that the elevator had listened to his command.

  Suddenly Elevator 041 came to a halt. Then it dropped. Fast. Like two hundred miles per hour fast- directly downward. Alfred’s body flew up and he smashed against the elevator ceiling before falling back down against the floor.

  “Here we are sir! I’ll keep the door open and ready for you.” the elevator spoke as it slid its door open.

  Alfred got himself up off the ground and ran out of the elevator and down the hall toward his cabin. He turned and crouched quickly around the corner wall of an intersecting hallway. Peering around, Alfred could see two guards running down the hall toward his cabin. He watched as they knocked on the door several times. Then one of the guards, a real buff guy with a massive chest and biceps, held up his hand. The other guard stepped aside as if to give the muscular man some additional room.

  “Alfred Moreno,” he began, speaking in a deep gruff voice, “You are hereby banned from the ship and if you continue to evade our staff we will open fire. Now open this Neptune forsaken door!” he finished with a shout and raised his leg in the air- slamming a large foot against Alfred’s door and breaking it in.

  “Well damn, he didn’t have to go breaking doors down.” Alfred laughed to himself.

  The guards went inside Alfred’s cabin and re-emerged a few minutes later.

  “No sign of the passenger in his cabin. Over.” One spoke into a walkie-talkie.

  The man and his companion walked back down the hall in the opposite direction from the elevator. Seeing his window of opportunity, Alfred ran to his cabin and ducked inside the door frame quickly. He began to furiously open the drawers attached to his nightstand and then moved on to the mattress which he flung up off of its frame.

  “Sir, I couldn’t help but notice that you are back early from your date. Also, two men broke into your cabin. It appears you are being kicked off the ship.”

  “Yes yes, all a big mix up Henry. Have you seen that necklace I wear most of the time- you know the leather string one, with the shiny golden crystal in the middle of it?”

  “Well of course sir, that’s the one you always insist on wearing even though it never matches any of your outfits! It’s in the safe, where you told me to keep it locked yesterday. That was just before you gave me
my name!”

  “Yes the safe! You’re a genius Alfred.” he complimented himself as he rushed over to the kitchen and opened the cupboards below the sink.

  Inside there was an array of piping above what appeared to be a metal safe. Alfred punched in four numbers on a keypad and then turned the handle. Inside was the necklace he had been searching for. He grabbed it and quickly tied the leather string that was threaded through an amulet pendant around his neck. The amulet was made of a dark stone material, and the golden crystal in the center of it seemed to gleam with a glowing light. Alfred stood up and hurried over to his nightstand where he grabbed the metal egg-shaped device that Henry used to interact with him.

  “Look Henry, I know you’re going to hate me for this. But I might need your computing systems later, so looks like you’re coming with me.”

  The egg began to flash blue from within Alfred’s pocket.

  “I agree to be taken hostage under one condition.” Henry voiced.

  “Satans of Saturn, what do you want?” Alfred demanded.

  “Put on the leather jacket. Now that you are considered a fugitive on board the ship, you are finally badass enough to wear it!”

  “You’ve got to be kidding me Henry.”

  “Jacket or I stay behind sir.” the artificial intelligence sternly insisted.

  “Ugh. I can already tell you’re going to be a pain.” Alfred mumbled as he ran to the closet and selected the jacket from the display. It shot out into the tray quickly and Alfred put it on.

  “Happy now?” he asked as he ran out of the cabin and back down toward Elevator 041.

  Henry said nothing, but flashed a few times in Alfred’s pocket to show he was content.

  As Alfred approached the elevator it lit up blue in excitement.

  “Space Dome here we come!” 041 whirred excitedly.

  Alfred ran into the elevator and the doors closed after him. It began to rise extremely fast, but not so much that it injured its passenger as it had before. As it continued to climb the levels of the spaceship, Alfred knelt on the ground and removed Henry from his pocket. He lifted up his shirt to reveal a strange knife hanging from his belt. He turned the egg upside down and pried at a latch on the bottom until it popped off.

  “What are you doing to me sir? Why do you have a knife?” Henry sounded more curious than concerned.

  “Just giving you a little upgrade Henry, don’t worry about it.”

  “Ooo! An upgrade, aren’t you lucky? I LOVE upgrades!” Elevator 041 chattered.

  Within the egg a circuit board with an intricate wiring pattern could now be seen. In the center of the main panel was a green square, from which Alfred disconnected two small clamps. He then tossed the green square aside, and took his knife to the amulet around his neck, where he pried at the crystal in its center until it popped off. Quickly he attached the clamps to two sides of the crystal and replaced the panel he had popped off.

  Alfred fell back as the entire egg began to glow with the same light that the crystal had been emitting. The light flashed bright and blindingly illuminated the entire elevator. Eventually it faded, and on the floor sat Henry’s device- only now it was a polished bright gold color. Alfred walked forward, his face filled with awe, and then reached down and picked up the egg. Sure enough, the metal on the outside had become gold.

  “Henry, how do you feel my man?” Alfred asked, wondering if the A.I. software had survived the overwhelming power of the crystal.

  There was a short pause, during which Alfred began to feel slightly guilty, thinking he had killed the innocent software. But then the egg flashed an excited yellowish-gold light all around the elevator.

  “I feel FANTASTIC! So many new calculations, so many more connections, every database is at my exposure! I have unlimited clearance across all sectors of information in the Universe! Curse My Circuits that jacket looks marvelous on you. Ohh yes, I don’t know what you’ve done to me but I love it! Give me some more Alfred, more crystal! MORE CRYSTAL!!” Henry ranted on and on, his voice sounding as if it had even more energy behind it now than before.

  “Calm down Henry, I can’t have you getting all psycho on me. Now look, don’t mention anything about the crystal I put in you. No one can know I have it. In return, you can keep it in you for awhile, and even once I remove it you will still feel the same as you do now. You no longer require a power source, as the crystal has essentially made you alive, or as alive as an A.I. can become I guess. Maybe I shouldn’t have done that. You’re not going to like enslave all of humanity now- are you Henry?”

  “Of couurrseee not sir.” the egg sounded incredibly pleased just to be talking, and its voice vibrated as if it were sitting in a massage chair.

  “Gross.” Alfred noted.

  “We have arrived, SPACE DOME! Top floor!” Elevator 041, thrilled, announced.

  Alfred grabbed Henry and tucked him inside of a pocket that was on the outside of his jacket. Meanwhile the elevator door had slid open. In front of Alfred were dozens of small space crafts all parked on one giant platform. Surrounding the entire platform was a massive dome enclosure. There were small orange circles all over the dome’s surface where ships could be seen entering and leaving. The circle would open just long enough to let the length of the ship fly out or in, and then would snap sealed again. A large static noise played out across the dome. It soon cleared up into a voice being played through the shipyard’s speakers:

  “Attention! We are currently on the lookout for four fugitives. Three armed passengers, as well as one unrelated banned passenger, are approaching the Space Dome. Shoot on sight.” it sounded as if the person speaking had the authority to command the guards to shoot someone.

  3 Escape of the lonely heart

  Alfred ran out of Elevator 041 and into the mass of spaceships. He made it about a quarter of the way across before noticing one with an open entry-hatch. Quickly looking around he saw nobody near the door, but it looked as if the ship was about to take flight. There were blue energy rays coming from its propulsors and it was beginning to slowly levitate in place.

  “What idiots would leave the door hatch open while taking off?” Alfred asked himself as he snuck inside the ship and hit the button to close the hatch behind him.

  He walked up a short hallway and then climbed a ladder which led to the control room of the ship. As he pulled himself all the way up into the room, Alfred realized quickly he wasn’t alone.

  “Hey, who are you? You with the cruise?” Alfred turned to see that the nasally voice was coming from a stout and brawny creature which had the face of a man, but with two arms on each side rather than just one. Each one was muscular, but the bottom pair held a gun- which was now being pointed at Alfred.

  By now the other two people in the control room had realized there was an intruder and moved over to where Alfred could see them. The first was a tall, slender woman who looked just a bit older than Alfred. She wore very advanced armor that appeared to be lightweight yet still durable and strong. It was made from an alloy that resulted in a metallic dark-red hue. She had black hair that curled below her shoulders and emerald green eyes that popped against the contrast of her olive-tan skin.

  “Who the hell are you?” she asked, revealing a passionate voice, it commanded respect but Alfred thought he could hear a hint of kindness in it.

  “I’m the other fugitive as you would have it, and say if you three were planning on making an escape here soon, I’d love to join in on the fun.”

  Her lips came together in a smile before she spoke, “You know how to fly a ship, fugitive?”

  “I think I can work it out.” Alfred replied with a grin.

  The other stranger now spoke up, “Are you sure about this Marcie? Why should we trust this guy?” He was a human, as far as Alfred could tell. He looked to be about fifty or sixty, and had a balding head with bits of gray hair clinging to life in a circle around the edges. He wore baggy gray sweatpants, with a white tank top tucked into them. He too had s
ome sort of machine gun pointed at Alfred.

  Marcie, the woman in armor, replied sharply, “Because none of us know how to fly a ship, and we need to get the hell out of here as fast as we can. We’ll keep a close eye on him, don’t worry Jericho.” She reassured the old man, who gave her a nod and lowered his gun while the four-armed man followed suit.

  “Come on, the pilot’s seat is this way.” Marcie directed Alfred to follow her with a wave of her hand and he did.

  She led him to the front of the room they were in, which had many control panels with flashing buttons and seats with straps attached to them. In the very front there were two chairs, similar to those behind them. Alfred took a seat in the pilot’s chair and Marcie sat beside him.

  “Do you really know how to fly this thing?” Marcie sounded as if she might have been regretting putting her trust in the stranger so quick.

  Alfred was about to reply when a loud banging sounded from further below the ship.

  “Open up! Out of the ship, NOW!” a voice yelled, and the banging continued.

  Alfred acted quickly, pulling Henry out of his pocket and setting him in a nearby cup holder.

  “Henry, connect to the ship and get us the hell out of here!” he ordered the A.I.

  Henry flashed gold lights around the room and made a faint buzzing sound.

  Moments later, the buzzing sound began to get louder, then even more so until it became hard to hear anything other than the vibrations pulsing throughout the ship. Suddenly lights illuminated all of the buttons on the main control dashboard. Henry had successfully hacked the ship. Alfred strapped himself into his chair, then pushed a metal lever up out of its resting place. The ship began to lift upward off of the ground.

  “Better hold on tight, there’s no way I’m skilled enough to time these exit circles. So we’re going right through the dome!” Alfred explained to Marcie, and glancing down he noticed her hand was grasping his arm tightly as the ship rose rapidly into the air. He smiled to himself but said nothing.

  As he spoke, she must have noticed that she was grabbing his arm, and moved her hand quickly back into her lap. Her hands, head, and face were the only parts of her skin that weren’t covered in the red armor.