One Warm Winter

by Jamie Pope

  “Ah.” Jack grinned. “I think I can be of service here. There’s nothing more fun for rich people than gossiping. Someone will know more.”

  “That would really help me, Jack. Thank you.”

  “Of course.” He gave a little salute. “Never send a bunch of foreigners to do an American’s job.”

  “Hopefully, I won’t need this kind of favor again. Thank you for your help. Please don’t tell Wyn. I want to gather all the facts before I share this with her.”

  “Of course,” King said with a nod. “You know you can trust us.”

  * * *

  Another week had passed. A week since that bombshell letter had been released. Wyn had tried to take her mind off things and she was doing pretty well. She kept herself busy during the days and there were large spans of time when she didn’t think about the scandal or the sister she would probably never know. The nights were hard. They always were.

  She hadn’t been in Cullen’s bed once. She hadn’t kissed him when no one was around. She went back to the original rules he had set. She was pretending they were a couple. Pretending to be in love with him in front of his friends.

  Only she wasn’t really pretending. The love was there just beneath the surface at all times, aching to get out. She would keep it to herself. She wouldn’t bother him with it. She wasn’t sure he could handle knowing. It might cause him to push her away. She wouldn’t allow herself to be pushed away. She had too much pride for that.

  She would love him quietly.

  “Do you think he has any idea?” Jazz asked as she hung lanterns around the pool.

  “I don’t know. He’s not letting on if he does.” Wyn was standing at the bar, chopping fruit for the sangria that she was making.

  “What does he think we’ve been up to for the past couple of weeks?”

  “I don’t know. I think he’s just grateful that I’m not bothering him,” she said with a smile.

  “You think he’s getting sick of you?”

  “He would never admit it if he was. He’s too polite for that.”

  “He’s not.” Jazz grinned. “Cullen doesn’t do attachment. He once dropped a girl for calling him at home.”

  “I don’t believe that.”

  “He doesn’t like people getting close. He sure as hell didn’t want any woman attached to him. I think that’s what I liked about him. He was unattainable.”

  Wyn stopped cutting and looked up at Jazz. “That was very revealing. You had a thing for Cullen.”

  “Yes. He’s hot and brooding and has that accent. But I knew it could never work. I’m happy he’s with you.”

  “I’m surprised you are admitting this to me.”

  “You’re my friend, Wynter. I have these guys, but it’s been a very long time since I’ve had a female friend. Not since I went into the Marines. I’m happy that he brought you here.”

  Wynter’s eyes started to mist and she left her spot at the bar and went over to Jazz, pulling her into a hug. “I don’t have any friends either. It’s nice to find another misfit.”

  “Get off me,” Jazz complained. “You’re going to make me cry and then I’ll have to kill you.”

  “I’m going to let you go, not because you threatened me, but because we have so much stuff to do.”

  “There’s not that much. I know you were hell-bent on making a cake, but it was easier to order one. It was delivered an hour ago.”

  “I want to be annoyed with you for doing that, but there was no way I was going to have time to frost and decorate that cake.”

  “I know. You have to learn to delegate more.”

  “My mother used to throw massive dinner parties. I was never sure how she got things done, but then I remembered we had servants. She just oversaw everything and took credit for it.”

  “You don’t have servants at home?” Jazz asked.

  “No. Why would I need servants? I live alone.”

  “Would you have them after you have kids?”

  “No.” She shook her, head thinking about it for a moment. “There’s no shame in having others help you. I don’t know how I would be able to work and take care of my family without help. But I would like to think that I could do it all if I want.”

  “Cullen wants you to cut down on working.”

  “I know, but is that fair of him to ask that of me, when his entire life revolved around work?”

  “No. It’s a goddamn double standard. No one asks men to cut down on their work so they can raise a family. They get patted on the back just for being around. But Cullen isn’t all about work anymore. He’s here with you. His life now revolves around you.”

  But she was his work. Jazz didn’t know that and the closer that they got, the guiltier she felt about it. How could she tell her who she really was without Jazz hating her? She was going to have to leave one day. What would happen to their friendship? It saddened her to think that she would never see her again, never know how her life turned out.

  Cullen could keep her updated, but she wasn’t so sure he would be around when this was all over. They couldn’t go back to the way things were and they couldn’t continue on as they were. She was a planner. She had always looked ahead. But the only thing she could do now was to take things day by day.

  Sometimes it was exciting, but sometimes she hated it. She hated not knowing.

  “You went quiet on me,” Jazz said.

  “I was just thinking.”

  “Cullen would never want servants. I couldn’t see him allowing anyone else to do things for him. Maybe you’ll be modern and he’ll be the stay-at-home dad and you can continue on in your career. I know he wants out of the private-security game. He told us that his current principal was going to be his last. He wanted to retire here and expand our little rental business.”

  “Did he give a timeline for this?” she asked Jazz.

  “No, but I feel like that’s a conversation that he should have with you.”

  “He’s not ready for that.”

  “How do you know?”

  “Because I’ve tried to have it before.”

  “And he didn’t want to talk about it? I’m confused.” She shook her head. “You guys are clearly in love. What the hell is his problem?”

  She loved him, but they weren’t in love. They were a lie. That was the problem. It was starting to hurt to lie.

  “I could say the same thing about you and King. You’re in love and everyone knows it.”

  “We weren’t talking about me.”

  “But now we are.”

  “Nope.” She turned away from her. “I’m going to check on Cullen’s surprise.”

  Jazz’s departure was exactly what she needed in that moment. She didn’t think she could hold up to her questioning much longer.

  Chapter 14

  Cullen watched as Wynter placed a flower in her hair. It was up tonight. Her curls piled on top of her head, a few of them cascading down like a waterfall. He couldn’t take his eyes off her as she got ready. He wasn’t trying to pretend like he wasn’t watching her. She was so beautiful tonight. She wore a long, bright pink halter dress with large white flowers emblazoned on it. She was a goddess come to life.

  “Is what I’m wearing okay?” he asked her.

  She glanced at him in the mirror. “Why are you asking me? You can wear whatever you want to dinner.”

  “You sure?”

  “Yes.” She grinned at him.

  He missed kissing her. She hadn’t tried to kiss him since that night, when he turned her away. He was regretting it. She had held a little of herself back from him. He missed her and she was in the same house with him.

  They held hands in front of his friends. She was lovely and cheerful in front of them. It was what he had originally asked of her. She was giving him what he wanted—only he didn’t want it anymore.

  “You look so beautiful, Wyn.” He came up behind her and kissed her shoulder.

  “Thank you.”

  “I bought you a
present today when I was in town.”

  She couldn’t hide her confusion. “Why?”

  “You’re not supposed to ask somebody why they do something for you. They do it because they want to.” He took the little box out of his pocket. In it were flower-shaped earrings with her birthstone in the center. “I think they’ll go with what you are wearing tonight.”

  “That was sweet.” Her eyes flashed with tears as he placed them in her ears. “Thank you.”

  “Don’t cry. They weren’t much. I just saw them and thought of you.”

  She turned around and hugged him. He pulled her in tighter. He had missed her hugs as well. Her closeness. Her easy affection. “You are making this harder. I was doing so well.”

  He didn’t respond. He knew what she meant. He knew he was going back on what he had asked of her. It wasn’t fair at all.

  “Let’s go to the house for dinner.”

  He took her hand and they walked to the community house without saying a word. He could see the big, colorful lanterns around the pool a hundred feet from the house. And as he got closer, he could see the entire patio had been decorated with flowers. It was beautiful. All of his friends were there, dressed in their island best.

  They had been in on it. His little surprise. He smiled at them, feeling happiness tug at his heart. In this past few weeks he had felt happiness and torture right beneath his surface at all times, each one fighting each other intensely.

  “Surprise,” they said in unison.

  “He’s not surprised,” Wyn said. “He was just kind enough not to ruin it for us.”

  “I was surprised. I didn’t figure it out until today when I went in the kitchen and saw the cake.”

  He had known she and Jazz were up to something, but whenever he saw them, they were huddled over Jazz’s sketchbook. He had just assumed they were making plans to decorate the four unoccupied cottages on the other side of the compound. He was genuinely surprised that they had done this. No one had ever thrown him a party before. No one had cared enough.

  His mum probably did, but there was never enough money. Just a little cake and maybe a small gift if she managed to scrape together enough money.

  “Have a seat, birthday boy.” Wyn lead him to the head of the table and placed a paper crown on his head. “Today you are the king. Let me get you a drink.”

  He grabbed her hand as she turned to leave him. “You don’t have to do that.”

  “Stop being annoying and let me do this.”

  He still didn’t let her go. He tugged her closer and kissed her. He really kissed her, taking her face in his hands and not letting her go until she went slack. “Thank you for this, Wyn.”

  “Happy to do it,” she whispered.

  He let her go, watching her walk away.

  “What a lovely girlfriend you have, Cull,” he heard an Irish-accented voice say. “She throws a good party.”

  He frowned for a moment and shook his head, because he thought he saw his mother walk out of the kitchen of the community house. He just sat there, staring at her. Same long, dark brown hair. Same round cheeks. Same sparkling blue eyes. But he knew it couldn’t be his mother, because this face was too innocent. Too happy. Too alive.

  “Maeve? Is that you, love?”

  “You’re looking well, big brother.” He knocked over his chair as he got up and grabbed her, picking her up and spinning her around like he used to when she was a little girl.

  “You’re so beautiful,” he said when he put her down. “You look just like her.” Seeing Maeve was another paradox: Two contrasting feelings fighting for dominance inside him. He was overjoyed to see her, but acute grief struck him as well. He still mourned his mother. Sometimes, it felt like yesterday she was taken from him. “How are you here?”

  “Your girlfriend sent for me. First-class and everything. I nearly fell out and died when I saw how posh everything was. They gave me the best meal. Three courses and a wee bottle of hot sauce. It was so darling I snuck it into my bag. I don’t even like hot sauce.”

  He grinned at her, flashing back to when she was a tiny thing and would talk his ear off for hours. “I’ll make sure I’ll send you home with some real souvenirs.”

  “Are you crying, Jazz?” he heard King ask.

  “Shut up and mind your damn business.”

  “Jazz helped me do all of this,” Wyn told him. “None of it would have happened without her.”

  “It gave me something to do,” she said bashfully. “Now the rest of you—let’s get the grill started and this food out. It will give Cullen and his sister a chance to catch up.”

  The others left and Cullen just stared at his sister for a moment. He had wondered about his siblings over the years, how they had grown, what they looked like. It was surreal to see her here.

  “Gosh, Cull. You’re a proper grown-up now, aren’t you?”

  “I am. But so are you.”

  “I guess. But sometimes I still feel like a kid. You ever feel that way?”

  “I think I feel the other way. Like I’m a hundred.”

  “You’ve lived a life, have you? An intelligence officer. Your girlfriend told me that I was coming to an island full of them and I best not be too nosy.”

  “She said it like that?”

  “Of course not.” She grinned at him. “She’s much too posh for that. How did a dirty bugger like you end up with her?”

  “I don’t deserve her.”

  “She doesn’t seem to think that. Look at what’s she done for you. She was asking me if I remembered anything you liked from when we were kids. Like if there was a toy you always wanted or a food you always liked. I couldn’t remember anything. Made me feel right guilty, I’ll tell you that.”

  “You were a wee one when you left home. How could you remember anything?”

  “I wanted to remember for you. I wanted your girlfriend to give you something from home that would have made you happy.”

  “She did. You’re here. How long can I keep you?”

  Maeve smiled at him. “A few days. Wyn made it possible. She got me excused from my classes. Apparently, she is friends with the chair of my department. She said they worked together once. What does she do, Cullen? Flying me out was no cheap thing.”

  “You don’t recognize her?” Her picture had been splashed all over the media. Maeve now lived in the States. She must have seen it.

  “Is she an actress? I don’t keep up.”

  “No. She’s a professor,” he said, feeling relieved. “She teaches at Georgetown. She’s got a doctorate.”

  “Oh. Extra-posh,” she said cheerfully. “Does she have a rich, handsome brother out there for me?”

  “I’m afraid not.”

  “Damn. That’s okay. I’m just happy you found someone who loves you so much.”

  Love. People kept saying that Wyn loved him. He was having a hard time wrapping his head around that. He didn’t want to dwell on it, to even think about it, because it didn’t matter. It didn’t change how he felt about her, his duty to her. “Are you seeing anybody special?”

  “Not anyone I would want to tell you about. I’m focusing on school right now. Love will come when it comes. No rush.”

  “Good girl.” He nodded in approval. “Is there anything that you need, Maeve? Anything I can do for you?”

  “No, brother. I needed to see you, that was all.”

  He squeezed her hand. “I’m glad you’re here.”

  * * *

  Wyn didn’t return to the cottage until nearly three in the morning. She was exhausted, but the tiredness was well worth it. It had been a beautiful night. Everything from the decorations, to the food, to the mood had been beautiful.

  She would never forget the smile that spread across Cullen’s face when he saw his little sister. He had been happy. His life had been a hard one and she knew she was witnessing one of those rare moments when his happiness was pure. She was glad to be there to see it, to have a role in giving him that. She watched hi
m all night as she interacted with his sister. He kept looking at her in disbelief. Almost as if she was an apparition that was going to fade away.

  But Maeve didn’t. She was a lovely girl, full of laughter and sweetness. It was hard to believe the two of them had come from the same mother and father. Cullen’s life had been so different from his siblings. He had been through war well before he had become an adult. He had been homeless. He had served his country. He had learned secrets and witnessed death and had escaped it. He had done nearly all of it alone.

  He didn’t have to be alone anymore. He had a family. The one he created and the one that was given to him. She was happy for him.

  She had tried to be quiet when she walked through the door. Cullen had walked his sister to her cottage and Wyn assumed he had gone to bed while she and King and Jazz put away the food. But her attempt at silence had been for nothing, because she should have known that he wouldn’t have been asleep.

  He would have made sure she was safe inside before he even tried.

  “You’re up,” she said to him.

  He rose from his chair, not saying a word. He walked toward her, a look in his eye she couldn’t read. She swallowed hard, feeling anxious. There was no lightness in his eyes. No humor.

  “Are you mad that I brought your sister here? I asked the others first if it was okay. They thought it would be.”

  He grabbed her shoulders and pushed her against the wall. “For someone so smart, you ask the dumbest questions sometimes. That was the kindest, most thoughtful thing that anyone has ever done for me.”

  “Then why do you look so angry?”

  “Because I don’t deserve it and no matter how hard I try, I can’t pay you back for what you have done.”

  “I don’t want you to pay me back. Seeing you happy makes me happy.”

  He took her face in his hands and looked at her for a long moment and then he kissed her. She could tell that this time it was different. There was no control this time. There was a kind of wild rawness there that both scared and excited her.

  He briefly lifted his lips from hers. “I’m sorry,” he said.

  Before she could ask why, his hands tore at the back of her dress, pulling it down till it pooled at her feet. He kissed her neck as he unhooked her bra. His hands were so efficient, turning her on as he stripped her naked, making her skin burn as his rough hands passed over them.