Phoenix Rising

by Lagomarsino, Giulia

  “Hey, sexy,” I said as I slid up next to her, wrapping my arm around her waist. “Wanna get out of here?”

  “What did you have in mind?”

  “I was thinking-” I turned when I was tapped on the shoulder and rolled my eyes when Gabe and Jackson stood in front of me, pissed as hell. “What?”

  “I think it’s time to leave,” Gabe said.

  “You do? See, I was just getting to know…” I turned back to the woman and grinned at her. “What’s your name, sweetheart?”

  “Annabelle.”

  “Annabelle. I was just getting to know her and we were thinking of getting out of here.”

  “Don’t do this,” Jackson said. “Don’t fuck things up.”

  “Nothing left to fuck up,” I said, hearing the slur in my own words. I needed to get out of here now so I could fuck my pussycat before the high wore off.

  “What do you say, little fairy, you want to go somewhere and fuck?”

  “That was really fucking sweet,” Jackson said irritatedly. “You’re a real fucking charmer when you’re drunk.”

  “Hey, you guys wanted me to get out and now I am. Come on, Annabelle, let’s find somewhere to continue this party.”

  I dragged her for the door, but when she started running her hands over my arms and reaching for my ass, I lost all control and shoved her up against the wall by the door. My hands found her ass and then my tongue was in her mouth, tasting the alcohol on her breath. She was nothing like Morgan, but that was the point. I wanted to forget the woman that was apparently too good for my depressing, fucked up ass.

  I heard a gasp and pulled back, looking drunkenly around the room, stopping when I saw Morgan standing just a few feet from me, leaning back in disgust. I shot her a cocky grin, not knowing what else to do at this point.

  “You’re such an asshole,” Jackson growled.

  “Hey,” I spread my arms wide for them all to see. “What you see is what you get. At least I don’t drop to my knees for every pussy that comes near me. I didn’t almost fucking kill myself because of a woman,” I spat at Cazzo. “I didn’t have to convince a woman to have my kid,” I shot at Cap. “I don’t stalk my women because they don’t want to be around me.” That was pretty much directed at Knight and Hunter. Hell, I could pick any number of times that these guys had behaved stupidly over a woman. “And at least it didn’t take me a fucking year to admit that I loved a woman,” I grinned at Jackson. “You’re all a bunch of fucking hypocrites. So quick to judge, but you don’t want to actually look at how fucked up all of you are.”

  I pretty much was finished with my little speech. Figuring now would be a good time to get out of here and fuck a woman that actually wanted to be with me, I turned for the door and grabbed what’s her face’s hand.

  That is, until Gabe’s giant fucking fist flew at my face and beat the shit out of me. I fell back against the wall and when he hit me again, blackness started to sink in as I slid to the ground.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

  Morgan

  That kiss replayed in my mind over and over again, torturing me and taunting me. I knew that Chance was falling apart, but it was devastating to see him kissing another woman. I kept telling myself that he was lashing out, that he was so messed up right now that he didn’t even know what he was doing. I had no idea if any of that was true. I wanted to believe it because the man I knew would never do something so hurtful. And I knew Chance.

  “He’s just hurting,” Maggie said quietly beside me.

  “I know.”

  “You have to give him time.”

  I sighed. This was all stuff that I knew. It just didn’t make it any easier to deal with. “The problem is that I gave him time and it backfired. I tried to push medication on him and it made everything worse. I could tell that he wasn’t anything like himself and Jackson told me the same thing. I think I was just hoping that it would be a new normal for us and he would level out or something. I never really considered that it was really fucking him up even more. Now, I don’t even know where to go from here.”

  “When we talked, you didn’t make it sound like you were ready to put a stop to everything just yet,” she said, questions littering the statement.

  “I didn’t think I was, but I’m tired, Maggie.” I rubbed my forehead and tried not to break down. “I think this was a mistake.”

  “What was?”

  “Chance and I. Not being together, but not giving ourselves time to adjust after everything that happened. We just jumped back into it together and thought that we could heal each other. It was so stupid. I knew that he was hurting and I saw that it was only getting worse. And I knew that I wasn’t really ready to get involved either. Wes really fucked with my head.”

  “How?”

  I looked at her guiltily. “I fell in love with him, or at least, I thought I did. I know that makes me a fucking idiot-”

  “No, it doesn’t. You were with him for a year. He manipulated you.”

  “In some ways, but in others, I started to see this other side to him and…he was good to me.”

  “Until he beat you and accused you of betraying him,” Maggie grinned.

  “Well, until that,” I agreed.

  “What was it you saw in him? No judgement. I’m just curious how this how hostage thing went.”

  “At first, I thought I was manipulating him, but the more I got to know him, the more I could see that we were both starting to care about each other. He was there for me and good to me. We talked a lot and I thought I was really getting to know him.”

  “Did you sleep with him?”

  I winced slightly. “It’s so terrible, but the sex was fantastic. He didn’t have that hard and rough sex appeal that Chance has, but he worshipped my body. I think that’s why it’s messing me up so much. Because I felt that connection with him, and he totally fucked me over.”

  “Well, just because you thought you loved him, that doesn’t mean that what you and Chance have isn’t worth fighting for. I mean, I can’t picture anyone judging you for falling in love with a psychopathic murderer.”

  She raised an eyebrow at me and I burst into laughter. “Stop. It’s not funny. It’s so bad.”

  I sobered as I remembered that while I had been off falling in love with a psychopath, Chance had been suffering.

  “Stop,” Maggie chastised. “You can’t beat yourself up over things you can’t control. This will all work out. You’ll see.”

  I looked at her funny. She seemed so sure of everything, but I felt so lost.

  “Sebastian has it all under control.”

  “But will Chance be the same when it’s over?”

  “I don’t know. He may never be the same again and you have to prepare yourself for that. He obviously doesn’t like the meds, so you need to ask yourself if he went off them, would you be able to deal with the man he is now?”

  Maybe the real question was, could I deal with the woman I was now?

  CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN

  Chance

  “I say we douse him with cold water.”

  “I think we should get out the beanbag guns and shoot him until he’s black and blue.”

  “You guys aren’t thinking clearly.” I tried to sort out who was talking, but everything was so fucked up that I couldn’t think. “I say we each grab some brass knuckles and beat the shit out of him. Maybe landing in the hospital again will get him thinking straight.”

  I finally peeled my eyes open, blinking against the blinding light. “Shut the fucking curtains,” I groaned.

  “Oh, you want these shut?” Cap said.

  I nodded and he yanked the fucking things wider. I tried to roll over, but my body wouldn’t let me. “What the fuck happened?”

  “You got trashed and practically ruined your life,” Gabe spat at me.

  I didn’t remember anything from last night. The last thing that came to mind was yelling at Morgan for turning me into this blank slate I had become.

  “
Not ringing any bells?” Jackson asked. “How about you trying to take home another woman last night?”

  “I did what?” I said in surprise.

  “No?” Ice nodded. “How about insulting me about trying to patch things up with Lindsey after she left me?”

  That wasn’t ringing any bells either.

  “Or how about trashing all your teammates when we were trying to stop you from making the biggest mistake of your life?” Chris asked.

  “Look, I-”

  “If you don’t remember that, then I’m guessing you don’t remember practically mauling that woman up against the wall right by the door of the bar,” Cazzo said. “Or Morgan walking in and catching you in the act.”

  I closed my eyes and let out a deep breath. The good news was that I didn’t have any nightmares last night. So, that was good. But it sounded like I had pretty much tried to destroy myself last night. Fuck, I just wanted to go back to sleep.

  “Sorry, sleeping beauty. We have things to do today, and it doesn’t include you lounging in bed all day.”

  “Fuck, I just need to sleep this off.”

  “Nope,” Cap said, hauling me up by the elbow. “You have training with Knight today. I hear he has quite the training schedule for you today. Something about a ten mile run to start off the day and then getting back into the course. I hear he’s added some upgrades, and he’s trying it out on you,” he grinned.

  “Fuck off. I told you that I’m not doing shit today.”

  “And I told you that if you didn’t get help, I’d make sure that you were taken care of,” he said. “So, get your ass out of bed before I let them throw you in the shower.”

  I stumbled up and worked my way over to my dresser, barely pulling on some running clothes before the guys were pulling me out the door. They were all so fucking perky. Each of them was designated two miles to run with me. The first mile wasn’t bad, but after that, I was feeling pretty sick to my stomach and had to stop on the side of the road to puke. That happened three more times before I got back.

  Water was shoved in my face, and just when I thought Cap might take pity on me, he handed me over to Knight. The grin on his face told me all I needed to know. I was fucked.