by Fanny Finch
Oh, she knew what it was they felt. And she knew it was too glorious a feeling.
Twice, she had felt it. With Luke, and even more strongly, with Benjamin. The feeling of loving and knowing that one was loved in return - there was nothing quite like it.
Nothing.
A hopeless romantic she was, and she craved for it. She did not wish to go against her brother’s counsel. She was aware Edwin would support her in whatever choice she chose to make.
If he felt so strongly averse towards Manson, perhaps it would be wise for her to do the same. Nevertheless, the loneliness in her heart continued to make her confused.
The one man whom she truly ached for, who she knew would give her heart bliss, whom she truly believed she might have a chance of everlasting happiness with, was busy paying heed to an enchantress.
An extremely beautiful woman. One she could never hope to compete against.
And the fact that she still loved him, despite his rejection, made her feel all the more pathetic.
When Mr. Yates announced Rachel’s presence, her spirits lifted. There could not have been a better time for her dear friend to decide to pay a visit.
She chose the balcony for their meeting and as they sat, sipping tea, she told her friend of all that burdened her heart.
Rachel, bless her soul, listened carefully and afterwards offered some reassuring words.
“It is always the darkest before the dawn, dearest Eleanor. Do not despair. I am certain there is a lesson to learn from all of this and the good Lord has a beautiful beginning waiting to be birthed. Do not lose hope. Hold on. I am here for you.”
They held hands and prayed together. By the time Rachel left, Eleanor felt significantly better.
***
Rachel
Rachel Wentworth was the perfect mix of her father and mother. She had her mother’s sharp wit, and her father’s gentle spirit.
She was a simple woman, and believed no one lesser than her. It was the way her parents had brought her up to be.
To accord every human respect. Regardless of their title, birth, finances or position in the society. These were lessons she had taken and held dear to heart.
Beyond that, she had also learned to attend to her business. It was why she lived a quiet life with very few friends, and no interest in the ton, or her peerage. She loved her life just the way it was.
Devoid of gossip, scandal and unhealthy competition. Nevertheless, this did not mean that she did not interfere occasionally when her loved ones begun to go astray.
She had interfered when Charles had nearly lost his mind over Elise. She had offered her counsel and had left him to his choice.
Even though he had chosen to reject it, she had been there for him, and she had supported him when all had collapsed.
She had offered her counsel to her dearest husband, when he had thought to venture into a new business. Thankfully, Thomas had heeded her advice and today, they remained all the better for it.
There were several occasions and now she was about to interfere once more in her older brother’s life. She had vowed to stay out of his women troubles after Elise. It was just as well that he had had none, until Eleanor.
She had known right from the start, that day in the park, that something was bound to happen between her brother and her new friend. She had told her husband about it, filled with glee.
Then, she had been content to sit back and watch things unfold. Oh, her joy when they had grown closer and the love between them had evidently begun to blossom! Sadly, it had been cut short by her brother.
Her dearest older brother who for all his wit, could be unintelligent when it came to women.
Eleanor was nothing like Elise. She was an angel, and she was perfect in her flaws. His mother, who was a great judge of character, had admitted the same.
So had Thomas - even the children loved her. She had been appalled when her mother had told her of Charles’ withdrawal. Her initial reaction had been to talk some sense into his head.
Alas, Mother had said that he had refused to listen to her. If he had not listened to Mother, Rachel had known there was no way Charles would have listened to her. So, she had let it go.
Even when he started to move around with Alexandra, she had held her peace. They all remembered Alexandra, but she was rest assured that if Charles had not wedded her all those years before when he was young and naive, he wouldn’t now.
However, after the discussion with Eleanor today, Rachel now knew, without a doubt, that she could not hold her peace any longer.
It was time to speak to her brother, and speak to him she would.
Only, she would not do it alone. She knew Mother would refuse to broach the matter, so she would go with her husband. If Charles would not listen to his sister, he would listen to his best friend. She was counting on this.
As soon as she arrived home that afternoon, she sent for Thomas. There was no time to waste. Eleanor was very close to accepting Manson’s proposal. If she did, Charles would lose her forever.
They belonged together. Eleanor still loved him. She had heard it in her friend’s voice, she had seen it in her eyes.
And her fool of a brother, even a blind man could see that he was hopelessly in love with the countess, still.
He would never find a woman as wonderful as Eleanor. She had no doubts concerning this. Now, all she needed to do was get him to forgo his pride, drop his fears, and go after that which his heart truly wanted.
Chapter 31
Charles was in his study when Gaius found him. He had just finished with the work for that day, so he easily looked up as the doors came open.
The old man and Charles’s mother were still carrying on courtship. Not a word had been said to him about it, and he had decided to leave them be until they were ready to make their announcement.
He knew that where Gaius was concerned, his mother would be loved and cherished. He had never met a more noble and fine man - aside his father, of course.
He could not even tease his mother about the matter. She was still being very polite with him, still cross with him over his treatment of Eleanor.
As if he didn’t blame himself up enough about it, daily.
Of course, it was bound to cause a huge scandal when news got out that a dowager duchess would be marrying a common butler. It was the unlikeliest of unions.
Charles had learned a long time ago to not concern himself with the whispers of the society.
His mother had too. All that mattered to him was their happiness, and he would see to it. The ton would gossip for a while, but in good time, it would be forgotten.
They would move on to other scandals that were certain to arise.
“Yes, Gaius?”
The old man bowed. “Your Grace, Mrs. Wentworth and your brother-in-law are here to see you.”
That got Charles’s attention. Rachel and Thomas? They had not mentioned any intention to call on him.
“You know you do not have to announce their presence to me, Gaius. My sister and best friend are always welcome here. It is their home too.”
“Yes. I do know this. Nonetheless, I also know how much you dislike being interrupted while working. I simply thought it best to inform you of their presence.”
“Ah, Gaius. Ever thoughtful. There will always be an exception for family and as it happens, I am done with the day’s work. Please, usher them in.”
He had not finished talking before Rachel walked in with her husband behind her.
“I do not need to be ushered in to my own brother’s study now that I know all is well. Thank you, Gaius. I shall see you before I leave.”
“Glad to have you around, as always, my lady. I shall have Magdalene send down those sweets you love so much.”
Rachel flashed him a bright grin. “Ah, Gaius. You spoil me rotten.”
“You will always be little Lady Rachel to me, my lady.”
“Call me shameless, but I can’t see that I mind.” Her eyes t
winkled, and with a smile on his face, he bowed and took his leave.
As Gaius left, Charles stood up to go to the settee, where Rachel and Thomas now sat. He joined them, taking the empty sofa closest to them.
“A good day, dear sister. Thomas.” He nodded to his friend who nodded back. “This is rather a sudden visit. Perhaps, unexpected is a better word. To what do I owe this pleasure?”
“There is a matter of urgency on which we wish to speak to you about, Charles.”
The seriousness in Rachel’s voice put him on edge and he sat up.
“Is all well? Is anything amiss? The children? Are they fine?”
Thomas calmed his fears. “The children are fine. And all is well. This is not about us, Charles. It’s about you.”
“What about me?”
Rachel began to talk, but in that moment, the doors opened and Magdalene walked in with a tray of refreshments.
Charles watched Rachel’s eyes lit up as she spied her favorite sweets. They were one thing she had not been able to outgrow.
Silence held for the moment Magdalene remained in the room and Charles willed himself to calm, as he had begun to grow anxious.
As soon as Magdalene left, he asked again. “You were about to say something…”
Rachel did not miss a beat. “Of course. I visited Eleanor in her home today.
“Mother had come to my home, as you are aware. She was keeping a good eye on the children and I thought it nice to call on Eleanor. It has been a while since we had time to talk to each other.”
Charles nodded, urging her to continue, but his heartbeat had gone into a gallop the moment he heard that name.
“It was lovely meeting her. We spoke, at great length. She confided in me, and divulged so much. She is really troubled, you see.”
“Is she unwell? Is that it?”
“Unwell? No. No. Blessings, no! The Lord forbids it. Eleanor is fit and fine - at least in body and in mind. What I am afraid for, is her heart.”
Charles saw where this was going, and he was not certain this was a conversation he wanted to have.
However, his sister had said no word to him concerning this matter, only that he should not have ended things so poorly.
If she had come all the way here and brought Thomas with her, it was unlikely that she would let matters go without saying her piece. Like their mother, Rachel could be fearsome when she wished to be.
“And what is wrong with Eleanor’s heart?”
“She is hurting.”
A knife buried itself in his heart. Well, that makes two of us.
“I fail to see how this is of my concern,” he managed to say. Deep down, guilt gnawed at him.
“How hard-headed can you be, Charles? When will you stop trying to hide what we all know? What we all see clearly?”
“And what is that, Rachel?”
It was Thomas who answered. Softly, firmly. “You are in love with her.”
If a feather had dropped in that moment, they all would have heard its sound, loud and clear.
Charles swallowed hard. His tongue felt suddenly heavy and his throat went dry.
Rachel was the one who broke the silence. And as she did, his heart shattered inside of him.
“She is going to marry that man, Peter Manson.”
Rachel’s words echoed. Over and over again, they reverberated through the walls of his mind.
Had he heard right? Or was his mind simply playing tricks on him?
“What did you just say?”
“Eleanor, she says she is going to tell the gentleman yes when he asks her to marry him.”
“Eleanor wouldn’t do that. She wouldn’t act so foolishly,” he protested, shaking his head.
He knew what this was - denial. And the implication of it wasn’t lost on him. When faced with its harsh reality, he could not bear to lose her.
He did not want her to belong to another man. No matter how much he had lied to himself in the past days.
“Well, you would know a thing or two about foolishness. Seeing as you have been letting that seductress hang off your arm since her return,” Thomas mumbled under his breath, but it was loud enough that they all heard it.
Charles threw his friend a wry look. “Alexandra is simply an old acquaintance that is now still a friend.”
Thomas chuckled. “Is that what it is called these days? Acquaintance? I do hope all that you two are engaging in at the moment is just friendship. That woman is nothing but trouble. You know this.”
“Yes, I do. And I have it under control.”
“Not if you are going to end up losing the woman you love for good, you don’t.”
Charles returned his attention to his sister. “She is a free woman. She has made her decision. The way I see it, there is nothing we can do. There is nothing we should do.”
Rachel’s brows furrowed in a frown. “What has come over you?”
“Nothing. When you see your dear friend again, send my good wishes to her. If I happen to run into her, I shall express my happiness on her engagement.”
Rachel hissed, her frustration starting to simmer. “She does not love Manson, you fool. She is only doing this because she is hurt and lonely. She is in love with you.”
His heart that had laid in shattered pieces, stirred. “You do not know this.”
Thomas whistled. “You are even blinder than we thought you were. Anybody with eyes can see it. That woman is besotted by you. It is beyond fondness, or mere friendly affections. It is something more profound, deeper. It is love.”
Chapter 32
Love? Oh, but how could it be? How could she have fallen in love with a broken man like him?
And how could she continue to love him, even after the awful way he set her aside like she mattered little?
Did he dare hope? And for what? After all, she had been quick to move on. And now, she wished to marry another.
If she loved him, she would not be getting married to another. She would not have looked his way in the first place. Manson, and all of those other men that always seemed to flock around her.
It was Manson that angered him the most. Seeing them at the theatre that day, together, her arm in his. Her eyes closed, as though she was right where she wanted to be.
It had scalded him. He had wished that Alexandra had not begged him to take her to the theatre that evening. He had wished that he had not obliged her plea. He would have been saved from such hurtful scene.
“Can you hear yourself? You ended things. You two had something that would have become more. But your fear held you back.
“Was she supposed to run after you? Beg on her knees? After all that she had been through?
“Did you think of her past, and how much your rejection would sting? Or were you simply thinking of yourself? When did you become so selfish, brother?”
Rachel was right. All her words were true. This was his fault. No matter how much he tried to lie, or deny it, or pretend he was unaffected by all that had happened. He knew this was his fault.
He was not this man. He was a different man. Kind, considerate, noble.
Look at what Elise had turned him into. A man who had hurt another, in a selfish bid to protect himself.
The irony was… He had felt the hurt all the same.
From missing her presence, the warmth in her smile and eyes, the wisdom in her words, the joy in her laugh. To seeing her with another man. Things had not been as rosy as he had thought they would be.
He truly was a fool.
And no, don’t blame Elise. This is all on you, Charles. You have made her actions hinder you for far too long. You have allowed her ghost to haunt you.
Isn’t it pathetic that she still wields so much power over you, even in death?
He let out a huge sigh. “It’s too late to do anything.”
“No, it isn’t,” Thomas disagreed. “Manson has not made any intentions of marriage known, and she is still contemplating it. Beyond that, her brother and lady compani
on do not approve. There is still time yet to go to her, to make amends.”
Rachel reached out then, and took his hand in hers. “You have lived in the past for too long. You have carried it like a dark cloud, over your head. It has stopped you from seeing the light.
“You have worn it like a cloak around your body. It has prevented you from feeling the warmth of another. What Elise did… It was a terrible, terrible thing. However, she is gone now. And all of it too, must go with her.