Home for Good

by Nickie Nalley Seidler

  “You married and had children with my brother.” He whispered, looking at me with a sad face. One I wanted to grab between my hands and make all the hurt go away. Pinch his cheeks, something to make him smile.

  “I did, and I can’t take that back and I won’t. My children are my life. Even though I’m begging you to see how much I love you, I will choose them above all.”

  “You never chose me before them.”

  “You left, Tate! You went into the army and never, not once, came back.” I stood up now irritated from his remark, like it was my fault. Like I ripped his world apart while he stood there begging to be with me. He didn’t do any of that, not even tried. He left and never looked back as far as I was concerned.

  “I left because you didn’t want me, Paisley! You didn’t want to wait for me.” He fidgeted with his hands in his seat. Sweat making him a little glossy as the conversation heated.

  “There is no point digging up the past. Mistakes were made. My children was a result of me moving on to be happy. Clint made me that way, he was there, to pick up my pieces from your departure. I get it’s fucked up, and I would rewind some things if I could. But if I did, I wouldn’t have my kids. So, move on, Tate. It’s the only thing we can do.”

  “Paisley, I can’t move on knowing I’m the fucking Uncle to your kids. Not the father, or husband to you. You suggest they call me Uncle Tate?”

  “I don’t know.” My voice fell.

  “Exactly. I can’t do this right now.”

  “You can’t do this right now?” I pushed his shoulder, anger getting the best of me. He gently grabbed my arm stopping me from hitting him. Tears began to flood my cheeks again. His sympathetic look locked on me, before his mouth crashed to mine. Feeling his tongue beg to enter my mouth, I pushed him away because it was too much right now. Breaking away from the kiss, his sad eyes reappeared.

  “Mommy, you kissed Uncle Tate.”

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  T ate walked out of my house that night. Livy went back to bed as I convinced her she must have been dreaming. I didn’t know how to tell my kids, or approach the subject. Shell shocked this day would ever come. I thought Tate would fight for me. Hell, I thought Clint would too. Those days were gone and over with. The best thing that came from that, were my two irresistible little people. They would never know how much they were my life.

  I texted Tate several times and he didn’t respond to me. Wishing I could erase the hurt and magically make him better was a goal I tried to accomplish. Failing at every turn. Then I remembered something he said to me that night, he said he spoke to his mother who informed him I was with Clint at the fair. That amazed me since they hadn’t spoken in some time. The kids have been begging to go over there so I might schedule with her soon for a sleep over. Or maybe Clint could give up one of his weekends for his mother.

  Tammy brought dinner tonight as I cozied up on the couch. I knew I just started this job, but I took the day off not being able to shake the tornado happening. The kids stayed home too. They needed an extra day to decompress. Cage completely understood and didn’t count it in the books. Just gave me a paid day off. He claimed he was shaken up too.

  “You had us all so scared. When Richie turned on the news, my heart literally jumped out of my skin girl.”

  “Imagine being there. It was nuts, believe me.”

  “How is Clint?”

  “I wouldn’t know. He saved me though by helping pull me inside. I didn’t think I’d make it. He hasn’t spoken to me because Tate showed up after everything and he didn’t like it so he stomped off. Tate drove us home.”

  “Yeah, and what happened with Tate?”

  “We argued, we kissed, he left after Livy caught us kissing and said you’re kissing Uncle Tate.”

  “Oh shit.”

  “Yup. Shoot me now.”

  “I hate you have to go through this.”

  “It’s my fault, Tammy. All of it. We should have told him nine years ago when it happened. His family, everyone kept it a secret even though he never once contacted them.”

  “Stop blaming yourself. You’re going to end up in an early grave if you keep that up. It’s called living life. So what, you fucked his brother, married, had kids, and divorced. Boo hoo. Worse things in the world.”

  This was why I loved Tammy. She got me. Reassured me that it was going to be ok. That I made no wrong choices because everything meant to be happened. Tate didn’t crawl back expecting everything to fall in place so easily right? I missed him something awful. I hated how this was a mess.

  A knock at the door startled me, I got up quickly off the couch and noticed a sheriff on my stoop. Unlocking the door, I opened it up wide.

  “Are you Paisley Connor?”

  “I am.”

  He handed me a Manila envelope. “You been served. Have a great day.”

  Stumbling back into the door, my jaw ticked opening up the folder even though I knew what the contents were. Pulling out a wad of papers, at first glance it reiterated what I knew. Clint was taking me for full custody. Full custody! What in the fuck was he thinking! I slammed the door not even caring if I broke anything from the vibration on the walls. I stomped through to the living room where Tammy held her wine glass up to her face almost shielding herself trying to be funny. She knew I was pissed. Now wasn’t the time for me to be funny though.

  “He’s taking me to court for full fucking custody!”

  “No way! Has he lost his entire mind? Did he get sucked up by the tornado when you weren’t looking and dropped on his stupid ass head?”

  “He’s mad. And he’s going to be way madder when I bring hell on that man. He’s threatening to take my babies away from me!”

  “Who wants to take me away, Mommy?” Livy appeared in the doorway. My hand rested on my heart trying to calm myself down in front of my daughter. I hadn’t even thought about them hearing me.

  I turned around and smiled at her, “Nobody honey. Just talking to Aunt Tammy.”

  “Ok. Can I have a cupcake?”

  “Yes, help yourself.”

  I got my phone out and unlocked the screen.

  “Paisley! Don’t do anything stupid. I know your mad but texting him won’t do anything.”

  “I don’t care anymore.”

  “Stop! He will use it against you in court.”

  I stopped. She was right. I tossed the papers down on the table and grabbed my glass of wine. This was insane. He had nerve to think he would steal my kids and live the Barbie doll life with that bitch of his. I needed to contact my lawyer. Better yet, I needed to upgrade my lawyer.

  I dialed the only person I could.

  “Paisley, I thought you were taking a day off?”

  “I was, until my ex-husband served me.”

  “You’re kidding?”

  “Afraid not.”

  “You know that I will help, don’t sweat it. You’re one of our own now.”

  “Ok, we’ll talk tomorrow.”

  I ended the call raging from the good news. I hated that I contacted him, made him feel he had to take my case. It wasn’t right and I reacted instead of fucking thinking about it. Another knock at my door made my pulse quicken. Now what?

  I staggered over to the door and saw Brooks. I released a breath, and opened the door.

  “Hey! Oh my God, come here.” He brought me into a bear hug and squeezed me tight. I hadn’t even considered the need I had for a hug this deep. But, I needed it. I cried, unleashing his arms.

  “It’s ok, girl.” His southern twang made me smile. He released me grabbing hold of my hands holding me back to look at me fully. ”Are you ok?”

  “That depends what you’re referring I’m ok from?”

  “Well, the tornado? There is more?”

  “My life is falling apart, Brooks.”

  “Come here.” He tugged on my arm and pulled me outside with him. He handed me a cigarette and in that moment I felt relief. I lit it up and sucked in a long drag before
blowing it out.

  “Clint served me full custody papers, and Tate, well, I feel like I lost him completely.”

  “What?” He roared. “Full fucking custody? Why the hell for? Shit, Paisley. Is it that fucking bitch Chasity?”

  “My only guess.”

  “What do you need? Money? I can help you. I have a lot saved. You’ll need a good lawyer.”

  “Brooks, I won’t take your money.” I puffed on my cigarette and watched him puff on his.

  “This tornado, the damage to the fairgrounds is unimaginable. How the hell did you survive that? God made a miracle, sweetheart.”

  “It’s the only logic.”

  Tammy appeared at the door with her kiddos riled up. She came out and kissed me on the forehead. “We have to get going. I love you, call me if you need anything and I mean anything.” I smiled at her. “And hey Brooks, the only sane brother in the Watson clan.”

  “Heyyyy, Tammy, good to see you.”

  She made her way downstairs to the car, her kids following her.

  I sighed, feeling defeated. I slumped over the railing while Brooks rubbed my back.

  “Uncle Brooks!” Jared and Livy said in unison running toward us outside. He lifted them both up in his arms with his super power strength, giving them hugs and love.

  “Come on, let’s go in.” I held the door open.

  “Uncle Brooks, can you please, please fly me like a super hero!” Liv begged, tugging on his arms. I giggled at her cuteness, how she batted her eyelashes and got her way literally every time. He lifted her up laughing and zoomed through the rest of the house. I gathered the remnants from earlier, and tossed the papers in my bedroom out of line of sight. The kids didn’t need to know about this mess.

  It was nearing bedtime, so they begged Brooks to tuck them in. More so Livy. It was back to school, and life tomorrow. No more moping around about the insane things going on. I knew I had work and I was so grateful for the opportunities at Bennet and Oakley, but learning anything didn’t seem to be in my cards now. I just wanted to burrow in a hole until it all blew over.

  “Hey.” He smiled as he came back out of their bedrooms. “They are out. Thanks for letting me to do that.”

  “Anytime your heart desires, you are welcome.”

  “I actually spoke with Tate, he’s miserable.”

  “Makes two of us, Brooks. I can’t make the past go away. I can’t rewrite my children and my marriage.”

  “I’m not sure he wants you to know. He doesn’t know how to get past it. He has been spending time at ma’s and pa’s and I will admit, it’s been nice having him around for weekly dinners on Sunday. They have missed him a lot.”

  “I bet.”

  “Everything is going to work out, I just know it will.”

  All I could do was form a small smile. I didn’t know what else to say. I knew everything worked out one way or the other, I just wasn’t sure it was going to work out in my favor.

  After I hugged the crap out of Brooks, he left leaving me to think about everything else. Then I got a text from Belinda.

  Belinda: Can I take the babies this week? Say Thursday? All the kids are off Friday for some holiday.

  Me: Yeah, ok, sounds good.

  Belinda: By the way, I heard what Clint’s doing, and we’re not on his side with this.

  Me: Thank you. I’ll cook dinner Thursday night, be over at six and then you can take them afterward.

  She wasn’t on his side, made me grin even wider. Clint was a momma’s boy through and through. This, this piece of information may work in my favor.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  “G ood morning!” I directed to everyone in the kitchen at work while I got Cage’s coffee ready. I haven’t seen him since the day at the fair, I was ready to work, but part of me had this dumb custody case on my brain. I couldn’t shake the feeling that I potentially could lose even though it seemed so irrational.

  Once his coffee was ready, I hurried off to his office.

  “Morning, Cage.” I walked in with a pep in my step ready to take on the work week and get back to normal.

  “Hey, let’s chat, sit.” He pointed to the round chair in front of his desk.

  “Sure.” I obeyed hesitantly, and sat across from him, legs crossed, awaiting what he had to say. He scanned a document in front of him, before placing it down on the table in front of me. “What’s this?” I glared down. Upon first glance, I saw my name and Clint’s which confused me, so I grabbed the paper, and began to read it.

  “I had this drawn up for you. I think you can beat his case easily, judge’s side for mothers more than fathers in simple black and white cases.”

  “You drew this up already? You don’t know what his letter said?”

  “I am at the top of my game, believe me, I figured it out by doing a quick search of your name in the database.”

  I stared at the paper trying not to give away that I felt a little aggravated he did this without me. I knew I called him and he offered, but I didn’t expect him to just do it immediately.

  “Something wrong?” He asked.

  “No, of course not. Look, after reading over the documents, I’m hoping this will settle itself in a few days, and he’ll retract his statements, and stop the madness.”

  “Whatever madness stops tonight, will come back. They usually do. I highly suggest fighting this battle and winning.”

  “I’ll think on it. I’ll take this home and read line by line and see if and where it needs to be tweaked.”

  I hesitated on what to say, slightly in shock. I tucked the paper under my arm and rose from the chair. “Let me know if you need anything today.” With that, I turned on my heel and exited the office back to my own. I brought a couple pictures of the kids with me today to decorate my overly large space. I wasn’t complaining about the size, it was huge and comfortable knowing I deserved that space. Holly peppered in here and there throughout the day with tedious things to teach me, so I had a few scattered projects on my desk to work on. I started to get the hang of it quite well.

  I peeked down at my phone and saw I had a message from Tate.

  Tate: I acted out of line. I am sorry. Meet me for dinner tonight?

  I re-read the message knowing there was no way I’d ask anyone to watch the kids again as that wasn’t in my character.

  Me: I can’t leave the kids, I’m sorry.

  Tate: I’ll bring dinner over then and cook for you. Well, and the kids.

  Me: You don’t really need to do that.

  Tate: I guess they need to meet their Uncle.

  I cringed even hearing him say Uncle. Not knowing how to respond to that, I left it for a while. I went back to typing on my computer with some data entry work. Trying to force the image of my children calling Tate Uncle out of my mind. This was all so fucked up and the only person to blame was myself.

  Delaney popped in, “Hey, Cage and Van need us to attend a meeting tonight.”

  “Tonight?” I raised a brow hoping not to sound so disappointed.

  “Yeah, is that a problem?”

  I thought back to my interview, I didn’t recall anywhere that it talked about needing to work extended evening hours. I had small children, and a redeeming Tate waiting for me tonight.

  “I’m not sure I can get a sitter again such short notice. My kids are used to me being home for them in the evening.”

  “I’ll let Cage know, but he probably won’t be happy about it.”

  I stopped her from leaving, raising my voice eagerly. “No, I’ll make it work. Email me the details.”

  “You got it.”

  She sashayed away in her heels, pencil skirt, and white button blouse. She always looked so fancy and upscale which seemed effortless for her. Whereas, I looked like a hot mess mom, in desperate need of a haircut, manicure, and more facials.

  Shit. Feeling crazy to ask Tammy to watch them again, I hunted through my phone for Bre and see if she’d do me a favor. If this kept persistently happening, I
’d have to invest in a real babysitter. The thought scared me a little bit. This wasn’t what I signed up for. I expected small amounts of overtime, but not evenings of meetings or dinners. Hearing her say he wouldn’t like that, had me on edge like if I said no, my career was at risk.

  Bre texted me back quickly, and said she’d love to hang out for a couple hours with them. I knew they didn’t know her well, but it was my only attempt at trying not to rely too much on family or Tammy.

  My computer dinged with a new email alert. Delaney had sent the details like I asked. Another type of restaurant, not as fancy, but annoying to have another dinner. I sighed, rolled my eyes, and continued my work, wondering what I’d say to Tate.

  Tate: Is that ok?

  Me: Actually, tonight is not gonna work out. I have a work dinner I need to attend.

  Tate: Ok. I leave for a mission tomorrow.

  Me: Oh. When will you be back?

  Tate: Not sure.

  Me: I’ll stop by your place on my way home from the work meeting….

  Tate: See you then.

  Leaving on a mission? I knew everything leveled top secret so he couldn’t tell me anything, yet I couldn’t help but wonder where and for what. I thought he was home for good, and maybe it was local he would be. I hated the not knowing.

  The rest of the day went by quickly, I ambled out to my car to go pick up the kids, and get them settled before Bre came to watch them. Bordering on ready for bed, I forced myself to wake up a little. I put on a good song, and cruised to the after school program. Upon arriving at the school, I saw Livy and Jared by the doors with the staff member waiting on me. I stopped the car and they ran out, hopping in.

  “Hey, kiddos, buckle up. How was your day?”

  “Boring,” Jared mumbled.

  “I had fun,” Livy said.

  “Glad you had fun, Liv. Jared, you need to try to find something exciting about your day. What about trying out for sports?”

  He shrugged his shoulders. I smiled at him in the rear-view mirror and took off toward the house once they were both buckled.