The (New) American Way

by Mark R. Adams

  I was in the middle of a serious interview and I continued, “Yes, I’d want to fire Congress.”

  Alexander Nance asked, “Just fire ‘m, huh?”

  I answered, “Oh, yes. Unfortunately, we’re in a state of emergency in this country. We can’t just wait around for them to be voted out. In my America, I’ll be walking into Congress like Donald Trump on “The Apprentice” and I’m going to look out over the crowd and say, “You’re fired.”

  Nance cracked up laughing. Nance confirmed, “I love it. I’d pay to see that. What else?”

  “The President, too. President Obama has to go. And the Supreme Court Justices. All three branches will be eliminated.”

  “So, anarchy, in other words?”

  I replied, “Only temporarily. And besides, Mr. Nance, does what we have right now not resemble anarchy?”

  The host smiled a bit, then nodded.

  I was on a roll and said, “In addition, there will be no government housing provided for any person unless he or she can pass a drug test. By the same rationale, no person shall receive food stamp entitlements without passing a drug test. And when a person has the misfortune of becoming unemployed, the benefits provided to him or her by the government will only last for six months - straight and clean. Then, you’re on your own. Go get a job.”

  Nance joked, “Does that go for the President, too? Will he get unemployment benefits?”

  I laughed, but said, “Not that he deserves them or anything, but yes. Equality needn’t be thrown out the window. The President can have his six months, too. Then he’s out. And the Affordable Care Act goes right with him. Just like a regular employee has to clear out his locker upon termination, this guy has to take home his bad ideas.”

  Nance rejoiced, “I sense our viewers are enjoying this very much.”

  “Thank you.”

  Nance responded, “And from what I recall in reading your book, there’s a religious component, as well . . .”

  I confirm, “Absolutely. Nothing to be ashamed of there. We put the Ten Commandments in our school curriculum. After all, those teachings have guided humanity’s moral compass for thousands of years – no sense in keeping them away from our classrooms.”

  “And . . . nativity scenes?”

  I told him, “I’ll be allowing them on government property. This doesn’t mean I’ll be ending the separation of church and state; I’ll just be reinstituting a shred of common sense. I mean, we have the words “In God We Trust” printed on our currency, and nobody complains about that. So, I’ll be re-allowing this proud part of our heritage in government buildings. If people don’t want to participate in it - Fine. They can stay home, or just keep their eyes shut.”

  Nance looked astonished and said, “You know, I’m listening to you talk here, and it sounds like you have actual plans. You keep referring to what you will do, in real life, when I should remind those watching at home that this is just make believe. It’s a novel.”

  I sheepishly said, “Yes. Thank you, Mr. Nance. You’re correct. My wife catches me doing that all the time. We all know I’ll never be in the White House. But we also know that whether they’re in a fiction book or in a nonfiction book, IDEAS are very real things. And these are REAL ideas for the American people to chew on.”

  Nance nodded, briefly studying a hardback copy of The (New) American Way. Nance replied, “Indeed they are.” He looked back at Adam. “And certainly not everybody will be thrilled with them!”

  “Oh, you took the words right out of my mouth, Mr. Nance. I’ve met several people who are less than thrilled . . .”

  Flashback –

  In another suit and tie, I sat across from Susan Mercer, the host of a popular liberal talk show, on one of the mainstream media news channels.

  Susan Mercer speaks. “I just don’t see how these ideas can ever become really popular . . .”

  I stated, “Well, forgive me, but they already have, Mrs. Mercer. We’re selling tens of millions of copies—“

  “Yes, but, for instance: Having people have to pass DRUG TESTS to get on food stamps or in public housing? I mean, it’s entertaining as a conservative fantasy, but—“

  I interjected, “It’s more than entertaining, ma’am. It points to a long-standing problem.”

  “Which is what?”

  I respond, “Do you actually enjoy paying your taxes? You think it’s efficient to do so? Simple?”

  “No, but-”

  I push some more, “So, why keep cooperating? I don’t understand.”

  Mercer answered sternly, “Because it helps people! It’s generous. It’s a civic duty!”

  I asked, “Where’s this mysterious ‘help’ you speak of? I mean, I don’t know about you, but after I pay my taxes, I don’t receive an invoice showing me what I’ve paid for. The government ends up doing whatever in the world they want to with my money. And be that as it may, it’s generous of ME to be offering them about half of what I make. Nice and clean. Take it, guys! Do your best with it.”

  Mercer sighed and shook her head. She claimed, “You’re quite an opinionated man, Mr. Marsh.”

  I replied, “Well, hopefully your viewers have listened to some of my opinions.”

  Flashback—

  I walked into the movie studio in Hollywood. In semi-casual clothes, I sat on a couch across from a reception desk outside of a corner office. I thumbed through a magazine. After a moment, the receptionist walked over. She said, “He’s ready for you.”

  I said with surprise, “Oh, wow. That was fast.” I slapped the magazine down on the coffee table and got up to follow the receptionist toward the office.

  The receptionist lowering her voice said, “He’s been really excited to meet you.”

  Together we walked toward the door. As it opened, the receptionist guided me inside. I found myself standing in front of my favorite actor and director, Clint Eastwood.

  Behind the desk were posters of some of his great movies: Unforgiven and Million Dollar Baby were given the most prominent positions. It seems he is more proud of his directorial prowess than his acting, but of course he had acting roles in both movies. The room had no windows, so there was a lot of space for many posters of Josey Wales and Dirty Harry. The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly had the wall behind me covered. I couldn’t help looking at all these posters while Mr. Eastwood watched me turn completely around in front of him.

  Walking over, I said, “Sir, I am so excited to meet you—“

  Eastwood responded, “Sit down. None of that ‘sir’ stuff.”

  I was star struck, but managed to say, “Oh, of course.” I took a seat.

  Eastwood professes, “I’m not here much, so I’m not the decorator. My staff put all these posters up so I wouldn’t forget the things I’ve done. I’m getting old and forgetful, and they think this will help.” We both have a little chuckle and he continues, “That was a pretty good book you wrote there, kid.”

  I answered, “Oh, thank you, s--, I mean, Mr. Eastwood.”

  Clint conveyed, “I’ll be honest with you: It moved me to tears. And I’m not a man who cries too easy. Know what I mean?”

  “Well, I—um—hope I didn’t upset you.”

  Clint jokes, “Upset me? You’re kidding? You inspired me to my core. My wife had to rock me in her arms for hours.”

  I had to laugh a little at that. Picturing Dirty Harry being rocked in his wife’s arms was too much!

  “I want the movie rights, kid. Now. I’m concerned, however.”

  “Concerned about . . . what?”

  “That they’re not available anymore. You probably sold them right away for more than I could ever afford.”

  I divulge, “No, no, no. They’re fine. They’re available! Very available. To be honest, most of your colleagues weren’t really interested. They’re a little too liberal, if you know what I mean.”

  “No kidding. Bunch of softies, those guys. But I think there’s a blockbuster hit awaiting us here . . .”

 
; I nodded my head and thought to myself, I must be dreaming. I wrote this book to become a movie. I thought more people would see the movie than would read the book. I wanted it to reach the most possible citizens of this country to get my point across; gridlock is killing this nation along with debt and socialist ideas. It was always meant to be presented to Mr. Eastwood to become his movie project.

  My dream is becoming a reality!

  Chapter 9

  BACK TO REALITY

  All the military personnel who briefed me initially sat around a large oak table. I entered the room in a freshly ironed suit. This time I greeted them as their leader, not as a civilian. They all rose and waited for me to take a seat. When I sat, they sat.

  I announced, “Okay. First things first—“

  General St. Claire leaned forward and said, “We need to start winning battles, not just fighting them.”

  All the men nodded, except for me.

  “Sir, in recent times, this nation has developed a habit of beginning military campaigns, and then losing the stomach—the fortitude—to carry them all the way to the end. This has to stop. We’ve got unfinished business in Iraq, Syria, and Afghanistan—“

  I interrupted, “Excuse me, General—.”

  The General stopped speaking. Awkwardness hits the room like a bucket of ice water.

  “No confusion at all. I’m just explaining to you a long-standing probl—“

  I cut him off saying, “Okay, then. Good. No confusion. I happen to agree with your assessment. I don’t like seeing military waste either. But first things first: We have to institute a gradual unrolling of our plan. Otherwise, people will think we’re insane.”

  General St. Claire, with a serious look on his face, responded, “With all due respect, sir, many of them already do.”

  It was the icebreaker I needed. I smiled and said, “Fair enough. Which is why this first phase of activity will be milder than what they may be expecting. We have to inspire their confidence; otherwise, who’s to prevent some other group from overthrowing us?”

  The General cleared his throat and answered, “That’s a reasonable point, sir. Just don’t forget: We are the U.S. military.”

  I smiled gently, and then nodded in agreement. I added, “So let’s hang on to that privilege, shall we?”

  Sighing slightly, General St. Claire nodded back.

  Then I stood up and started to circle the table. I began, “What I propose at the current juncture is a three-point plan. New rules and regulations. Number one; there will be no more extended unemployment benefits. They will soon be a thing of the past, and someday people will hear about that concept and laugh their butts off.”

  The men around the table grinned and nodded.

  I continued, “Now, this doesn’t mean people will get cut off right away. They will all get one more check. One last chance. Then the benefits are effectively discontinued. As for regular benefits, they will continue to last for 26 weeks, just as the system was originally designed to provide for.”

  The men nodded.

  I continued, “Number two, one can no longer attain regular unemployment benefits, welfare, food stamps, or disability if one does not pass a drug test. This one’s very important. You want benefits, then be a clean, respectable person. Don’t pour government money into your addiction.”

  One lieutenant spoke up, “Amen!”

  I finished, “Number three, we temporarily suspend our long-held freedom of assembly! I will hear no dissent at this point in time. Not while we’re under Martial Law.” I had to take a moment to catch my breath. My face was red with passion. “When is the next press conference?” I asked.

  General St. Claire responded, “You are the Commander-in-Chief. You can call a press conference for 0300 hours in the morning and the room will be full.”

  I commanded, “Call one for this evening at 1900. After we release this 3-point agenda, I will need to calm a few people down.”

  General St. Claire said, “I will make it so.”

  I inquired, “General, do I have a personal assistant position open? If so, I’d like to get one ASAP.”

  “Is there someone you have in mind, or do you want me to send someone from our ranks?”

  “One of yours is fine. Also, call the President’s cabinet together for a meeting at 1100 hours this morning. These people aren’t politicians, so I might get along with them. But do send a security detail to help set the mood.”

  The General said, “Right away.”

  I went to the oval office. I prepared some notes for the cabinet meeting. I had to keep the country running smoothly and wait for my changes to take effect. This is a critical meeting, so I can’t mess it up. I hoped they would buy in to what I was trying to do. If not, this could get ugly. The time flew by and 1100 hours came upon me. I walked into the cabinet meeting room to find every chair filled and five military security personnel. All eyes were on me as I took my seat. This was day two of the takeover. Information was at a premium and I was the only one handing it out.

  I began, “Thank you for coming. I know you are wondering how something like this could happen in our country, but I promise you, it is for the best. You are about to have input with me, the new Commander-in-Chief, and I can make a decision based on that input that can be implemented without delay and without having to argue with Congress.”

  Most of the participants smiled broadly, yet some still looked a little reluctant. I continued, “I recognize most of you and I would love to know each of you on a personal level, but for now I will just use your title. We will be meeting again tomorrow, so don’t plan on going anywhere. I’m sure you’ve already seen the three-point plan to start saving money. This affects only one of you. Make it happen. Put in the proper procedures and do not fail. Other changes are coming, but I need you to keep the status quo until I issue an order that affects your department. Tell everyone you deal with that the U.S. is just doing some house cleaning internally, so don’t panic and do something you’ll regret. I will handle problem individuals with extreme measures. These individuals will learn not to task me! If you have a problem you can’t handle, bring it to me and we will solve it together.”

  Everyone there seemed to be in agreement. I hated to ask if there were any questions. I was sure there were, but I cut them off at the pass. I said, “I know you have questions, but I have to meet with another group now. Notice, I only fired the President, Congress, and the Supreme Court. I kept all of you. The President and I agree on most things, but he couldn’t get things done under the previous system. My system works quickly and decisively. Follow my lead, help me, and I will help you make the country work properly again. We will meet tomorrow at the same time. I will answer any questions then.”

  There were no outbursts or arguments. Maybe the security detail had something to do with that.

  I went back to the oval office. I needed some lunch, but it needed to be a working lunch. About that time, in walks General St. Claire with a soldier in tow. “Commander,” he said, “I would like to introduce your first personal assistant, Lieutenant Jerry Mathis.”

  I smiled and responded, “You sound as if there might be a second one in the future. Are you setting up this young man for failure?” Everyone is laughing, as the General replied, “Why no. Just stating the obvious. I doubt you’ve ever had one before.”

  Jerry looked nervous, and stood a half step behind the General. He was short, about 5’7”, and already had thinning hair. I suspected he had long since completed basic training in the army, and looked a little out of shape. That’s what sitting behind a desk all day will do to a person.

  “How old are you and where are you from, Jerry?” I asked.

  “I’m 26 and from Kentucky,” he replied. “Beaver Dam to be exact.”

  “You’ll do fine and thank you, General.”

  The General left and I turned to Jerry and said, “Your first order will be to visit the White House Chef in the kitchen and bring us back some lunch with a big D
iet Coke. We will eat in the oval office where it’s quiet and we can discuss a few things.”

  “Yes, sir,” he said. “Anything in particular?”

  “Surprise me.”

  Jerry left nervously, probably wondering if he could pick something I would like. I stopped long enough to call Cindy and check on her and the kids, letting them know everything is going fine. They will be able to watch the events unfold on TV.

  Jerry came through the door as I hung up the phone. He carried a tray with two cheeseburgers, two small plates of fries, and two soft drinks. I started to laugh and said, “Wow, you went way out on a limb there with your choice!” He smiled and shook his head.

  I thought, “I like this kid; he has potential.”

  Chapter 10

  IMPLEMENTING POLICY

  The 1900 hour press conference rolled around quickly. Once again it was a full house. I had called this one for only one reason: To educate the press and the politicians on one thing—taxation. I walked in after being introduced by General St. Claire and I welcomed everyone. All the usual attendees were hanging on my every word. So, I began, “I’ve asked you here tonight to drive one point across to each and every American. We absolutely CANNOT continue to spend money like a drunken sailor - my apologies to our Naval personnel. The U.S. government is $22 trillion in debt, and we are adding to that at a break-neck pace. IT HAS TO STOP! As you see my plan unfold for our country, you will see that almost everything I do will save our government money in the long run. There will be no more kicking the can down the road, no more argument, no more government shutdowns, and a tax system that makes sense. Money makes the world go ‘round, and we have to borrow too much of ours. This is what I want you to learn.”

  I had Jerry bring out displays. I felt like I was back in the classroom. I had a laser and pointed at the top of the page. It is a paragraph from a Forbes article about the number of billionaires in the U.S. It says there are 540 billionaires with a total combined wealth of approximately $2.4 trillion. These were statistics from 2016. The numbers change almost daily, but not by enough to change my point. Most liberals, socialists, and many poor people think you can fix all our problems by taxing the rich. My job was to explain why that won’t work. I started by saying, “Let’s say this year, we add $1 trillion to the deficit, meaning we spend $1 trillion more THIS YEAR than we take in. We already have a sliding scale tax that the richer people pay at the highest rate. Can we raise it even more, like some socialists want? How about 70%? Well, let’s pretend we tax them at 100% of everything they own. The government seizes all they own and all their money. We know they have $2.4 trillion, but we have to liquidate everything and who is left to purchase everything these billionaires own? The government created a $1 trillion deficit with a 37% tax rate on these people for their income for that year. The $2.4 trillion you got by taking everything they own will cover the most recent deficit and retire about 6.4% of our national debt. Who will the government pick on the next year? The billionaires are broke so we have to move down the ladder, but those rich people have even less and without the billionaires paying at least their 37%, the deficit will be even larger next year. Do you understand that the scenario I just used is typical of Socialism and Communism? The governments in these systems run out of other people’s money. You end up with shared misery for the entire population, except, of course, the high government officials. They never think the rules apply to them. There is only one-way to stop this from happening in our country: Stop spending more than you take in through taxation. We must stop wasting money. We must think about the future of our children and their children. And this is exactly my intention. I will cut out wasteful spending and pay down our national debt. And everyone is going to help and no one is exempt.”