The Art of Pretending

by Raquel De Leon

  Ashley growled low in her throat, then pulled away enough so she could look at Nira.

  Nira held her breath. Ashley’s hands tickled over her body in light strokes, and then Ashley was behind her, pressing open-mouthed kisses to her neck and shoulder.

  “Oh,” Nira moaned when she felt Ashley’s bare breasts press into her back. Ashley’s hands settled on her hips, guiding them both back until Ashley was braced against the wall.

  Nira didn’t have time to ask or wonder why, because then Ashley’s hands were moving again in steady, distracting strokes up her stomach, to her breasts and back down to tease just under the edge of her bikini bottoms.

  About to complain that she was already too close, Nira sucked in a breath when Ashley’s right hand slid further down. The fabric parted from her skin stickily, causing her to moan, and moan again when Ashley’s fingers found their way to either side of her clit and began a smooth kneading motion.

  “For me?” Ashley whispered, and then Nira couldn’t breathe as the tension centered around her clit erupted. Wave after wave of pleasure rolled through her as Ashley’s hand kept working, soft murmurs of encouragement and delicate kisses being pressed to her skin in equal measure.

  “Sorry,” she mumbled as she began to regain her senses. At some point, Ashley’s left arm had wrapped around her middle. She was grateful for it. Her legs were shaking and her back was sweaty, the former making the latter irrelevant as she relied on Ashley to keep her standing. “It’s been a while.”

  Ashley gave her cheek a lingering kiss and pulled her right hand out from under Nira’s bikini bottoms. “Don’t be sorry. That was… hot doesn’t feel like a big enough word, but my brain isn’t working right now.” She paused. “Amazing. Incredible. Those are a little better.”

  Nira blushed, then turned her head to return the kiss. “Give me a second, and I’ll return the favor.”

  She felt Ashley’s chuckle. “I prefer to wait until we’ve washed most of this paint off.”

  “Should I feel insulted that you can wait?” Despite what Ashley had said, Nira was trying not to feel embarrassed. Even if it had been nearly two years since she’d had sex, she normally had more self-control.

  “Absolutely not. It’s… kind of my thing. I’d like to make you feel good for a while longer first. It makes everything more intense for me.” Ashley hugged her. “If that’s okay with you.”

  Nira bit her lip and leaned her head back to rest on Ashley’s shoulder. “Oh, gee, I don’t know. Sounds like such a pain.” She nuzzled her face against Ashley’s neck. “I might not be able to, you know, for a while.”

  “That’s okay. I just want to touch you. For as long as you want me to.”

  “Mmm.” Even with the itchiness of the paint as a distraction, Nira couldn’t imagine ever wanting Ashley to stop. She felt drunk with the feel of Ashley’s skin on hers. “I want to touch you some, too. Is that off the table?”

  Ashley turned and kissed her forehead. “Not to sound dramatic, but I think I’ll die if you don’t.”

  “Well, I can’t let that happen, now can I?” Nira smiled up at her and was rewarded with another kiss.

  “Let’s hurry up and get clean,” Ashley mumbled right before she kissed Nira again. The kiss was deeper than the others, and Nira’s eyes fluttered closed as it lingered.

  Nira sighed when it finally ended. “If you keep that up, we won’t get anywhere.” She forced her eyes open.

  “I’ll be good. For as long as it takes to get into the shower, anyway.”

  As they stared at one another, Nira wondered what it was, exactly, they were doing. They hadn’t talked about what this meant before. Nira hadn’t planned on it, but Ashley had just been so… Ashley that she hadn’t been able to help herself.

  She smiled and grudgingly forced herself to straighten. Her hand caught Ashley’s before they could fully part. Regardless of what they ended up deciding, she knew this wasn’t nothing. They’d figure things out. Ashley was too important to her for them not to.

  That in mind, she led the way to the shower and decided to let herself enjoy their time together without overthinking it.

  Seven

  “Nira. Nira.” Ashley panted and gripped the headboard. Nira had been teasing her for what felt like hours. She shook her head when she felt Nira smile against her pelvis. Wet, open-mouthed kisses followed.

  Her back arched when Nira’s tongue began rhythmically dipping deeper between the folds of her labia. It wasn’t quite satisfying enough, and Nira knew it. Ashley undulated her hips as Nira continued, trying to prolong each stroke for as long as possible.

  She sucked in a breath when Nira’s tongue retreated and was replaced with the entirety of Nira’s hot, ravenous mouth.

  Fuck, was Ashley’s last coherent thought for some time.

  When she finally became aware of her surroundings once more, Nira was crawling back up the bed, grazing sporadic kisses along her skin.

  Ashley forced her eyes open and blearily tried to remember what they’d been talking about before Nira had… changed the subject.

  Her memory was too hazy. She focused on the faint light coming from the window. “It’s almost morning. Again.”

  Nira, who had flopped half on top of Ashley, smiled against her shoulder. “As much as I’m going to regret all this activity later, I’d do it again.”

  Ashley chuckled weakly. “You say that now, but you know they won’t believe—what was it you told them? For a second day.”

  “Food poisoning.” Nira sounded amused. She hugged Ashley around the waist. “I know. I just really needed the time alone with you. I figured they’d probably know the truth, but whatever.”

  Though Nira hadn’t been the one to bring it up, basically ever, a small part of Ashley wondered if some of Nira’s motivation had stemmed from a desire to piss Regan off. It was on the tip of her tongue to ask, as well as what their hook-up meant for their friendship. Relationship?

  Would Nira even want another relationship so soon, coming out of one that had spanned nearly fourteen years? These were definitely questions Ashley should have asked before they’d had sex. But Nira was hot and funny and wonderful—and Ashley had been caught off-guard when she’d seen Nira’s desire directed at her.

  She swallowed the questions. It would do no good to ruin their trip. They were things to ask when she was back safely in her own little world and ready for any potential rejection.

  “Hey. You’re all tensed up. What is it?”

  Ashley licked her lips and stared up at the ceiling. “Nothing.”

  She felt Nira shift.

  Nira had pushed up onto her elbow so she could see Ashley’s face. Ashley stared at the ceiling a beat longer before forcing herself to look.

  “It’s not nothing.” Nira studied her. She smiled crookedly and hoped it wouldn’t give anything away. “Ashley, hey. If you’re worried about them or—or us, you don’t have to be. They’ll get over whatever, and you’re important to me. Our friendship is important to me. I,” she paused as her throat worked. “I really want to see where this goes, if you want to.”

  It wasn’t a declaration of love, or a passionate confession, but Ashley’s breath caught anyway. It was something. Hope, maybe. “I want to,” she admitted in a quiet voice.

  Nira’s alert expression softened, her eyes seeming to shine as she leaned down and kissed Ashley. Her thumb caressed Ashley’s cheek as it ended, and she lightly pressed their foreheads together.

  Ashley held her breath until her lungs began to burn.

  Her breathing resumed in shaky gusts as she cupped the back of Nira’s head and brought their lips together again. And again.

  “They can wait ‘til lunch,” Nira panted as she was flipped over onto her back.

  **

  The sun was high in the sky by the time they made it out of the cabin, just in time for a late breakfast. Ashley felt giddy from both a lack of sleep and the fact that she and Nira were seeing where things went.
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br />   The last two days were a blur of being with Nira, touching Nira. There had been some sleeping and eating in those hours, but not comparatively much. Ashley was glad she’d picked up a few basics besides milk on their first morning, or they might have starved.

  Even as they pushed into the restaurant the others had picked, Ashley found herself remembering how Nira tasted, how Nira looked right before she climaxed. She let herself be lost in the memories for a while longer; with her fingers entwined with Nira’s, she trusted Nira to guide them to the right table.

  She gave everyone a blind smile as she sat, recalling that her right hand still smelled like Nira. She’d washed her hands and later showered, but Nira’s scent still lingered.

  A primal part of Ashley wanted to refresh the scent as soon as possible. The rest of her realized that a) she wasn’t as young as she used to be, and b) they’d come on the trip to spend time with Nira’s friends. Ashley could be a mature adult. Plus, she was kind of sore and very tired.

  “So, your food poisoning is all cleared up, Ashley?” Terri asked with a twinkle in her eye.

  “Oh, uh yeah.” Ashley released Nira’s hand so she could fidget with the menu.

  Leisha smirked. “Huh. I thought Nira was the one who had food poisoning.”

  “Can we just look at our menus in peace?” Regan asked through gritted teeth at the far edge of the table.

  Ashley had been trying to avoid looking her way. Regan’s mouth was twisted with displeasure.

  Next to her, Erin looked miserable. There must have been some mishap with sunblock the previous day, because Erin was in a tank top and her shoulders were bright red. The rest of the visible skin on her face and arms was only faintly pink.

  Erin had been very polite and friendly for the entire trip, almost as if to make up for Regan’s glaring and stubborn silences. Despite the circumstances, Erin deserved better. Regan wasn’t being a good girlfriend.

  Nira scoffed, then made a show of kissing Ashley’s cheek.

  Ashley really wished she hadn’t. Though they’d been affectionate in public, the kiss seemed out of place at that precise moment. It seemed to be just for Regan, who was clearly aggravated by the obvious escalation of their relationship.

  But Nira hadn’t been doing any of it for Regan. Right? From the beginning, she’d just needed help regaining her equilibrium, feeling normal.

  Ashley dropped her menu and folded her hands together. She’d just point at something random the next time their waiter arrived.

  Nira finished with her own menu soon after. She placed a hand over Ashley’s once she was done and struck up a conversation with Amy.

  Ashley stared down at their hands. Was this for show, too? Nira had never been like this. It had always been Ashley initiating their public displays of affection.

  Whatever it was, it was making Ashley feel self-conscious. At the same time, she wouldn’t embarrass Nira by pulling away. Ashley was probably just misreading things. Probably.

  Resolving to chill the fuck out, Ashley tuned into the ongoing conversation.

  “I bet your mom is excited.” Terri grinned. “How long has it been since your last visit?”

  Nira winced. “Well, I pretty much miss all the big holidays because of work, but I did make it out for some of Hanukkah a few years ago.”

  Amy shook her head. “Your mom is going to pull out all the stops.”

  “I know.” Nira chuckled and shook her head. “She’s got my old room all made up and ready for me even though I won’t be there until summer.”

  Ashley began bouncing her leg. That was another thing. Nira hadn’t decided to stay in Texas, and even if she did, she could always change her mind once she was in Pennsylvania. Surrounded by family and loved ones, Ashley could imagine it being a no-brainer.

  The waiter arrived, and Ashley was happy for the interruption to her thoughts.

  ***

  Nira felt like she was walking on air. Things felt right with Ashley. She’d worried she’d feel awkward in front of her friends (and Regan), but they’d been the furthest thing from her mind. Instead, she’d found herself itching to find excuses to touch Ashley. She wanted to pull Ashley’s hair loose and slide her fingers through it. She wanted to kiss that perfect beauty mark above Ashley’s lip. She wanted. Oh, how she wanted.

  When brunch ended and the group discussed their plans for the day, Nira was surprised when going out on the boat again seemed to be the popular option. Her body was aching in places she’d forgotten could even get sore. If she joined everyone on the boat, she knew Amy and Leisha would hassle her into attempting to water ski again. She had no interest in hurting herself.

  Regardless of Nira’s inherent dislike of Erin for obvious reasons, there was no way Erin should do anything but stay in a cool, dark place. That Regan didn’t immediately volunteer to stay back with her made Nira feel a flicker of pity. It was possible Amy, Terri, and Leisha were resistant to Erin’s presence. If that were the case, she wondered why more of that resistance wasn’t directed at Regan.

  Ugh. It didn’t matter. She had moved on, too.

  Maybe she and Ashley could stay on shore and make out. She caught Ashley’s eye several times as everyone discussed the boat rental, hoping her intent was clearly telegraphed.

  Twenty minutes later, she stood staring as the boat took off with Ashley on it. She shifted awkwardly and tried to ignore the fact that she was standing near Erin.

  Why had Ashley gotten on the boat? Nira kicked herself for not simply pulling Ashley aside and telling her what she wanted. It was their last full day at Lake Travis, and Ashley obviously had a talent for water skiing. Nira could find something to do for a couple of hours while Ashley enjoyed herself.

  A sniffling sound interrupted her thoughts, and Nira grudgingly looked at Erin.

  Her heart softened when she saw Erin trying valiantly not to cry.

  “Hey, um,” Nira cleared her throat and looked away. “You should probably spend the rest of the day in your cabin. Get some aloe or something on those shoulders.”

  “Yeah.” Erin’s voice cracked. “I just realized Regan still has the key and I forgot my wallet this morning.”

  Nira silently counted to ten. Then she counted backwards. She sighed. “Alright, come on. You can stay in ours. I packed some aloe, just in case.”

  Despite her best intentions, she finally looked directly at Erin.

  A few tears trickled down Erin’s cheeks as she smiled. “Thank you. You’re so nice.” She winced as she brought an arm up to wipe at her face.

  Nira knew every movement must have been pure agony. She withheld another sigh as her heart softened even more. “Let’s go. You really don’t need to be in the sun.”

  They made the trek back to her cabin in silence. Nira was grateful. She never imagined inviting the other woman (and woman was a generous term) to her cabin, under any circumstances.

  Once Erin was perched awkwardly on the edge of the love seat, Nira realized she’d probably have to apply the aloe, herself.

  Nira had never been particularly religious, but the situation did make her wonder if she was being tested. With an nth sigh, she began applying the aloe-based gel.

  “I can’t thank you enough for this,” Erin said as Nira began carefully coating her right shoulder. “I know this entire thing sucks.”

  Nira paused but continued in silence.

  “And for the record, I told Regan I didn’t think it was a good idea to come. I know it’s got to be weird for everyone. You and she were together so long. It must seem wrong to see her with anyone else, no matter the circumstances.” Erin shook her head. “I just wish it didn’t feel so much like everyone hates me. I get it, but it still seems kind of unfair.”

  For a moment, Nira had to force her hands away. Her instinctive reaction was to push down on Erin’s shoulder. She’d had an affair with Regan. But Nira agreed, to an extent. It didn’t make sense for Erin, alone, to be shunned. Regan was more at fault than the blonde child she’d
hooked up with. She’d been the one to break her vows.

  Nira took a deep breath and finished applying the gel. “Although I can’t begin to describe how angry this conversation makes me, you’re not completely wrong. It’s not fair that you’re the only one being punished for the affair.”

  Erin jerked around and immediately winced. Her expression cleared after a moment. “Affair? I mean, I know it must feel that way, but you and Regan were separated when we met.”

  Nira frowned. “I need to wash my hands. I’ll be right back.” Had she really misunderstood the timing? She’d been so sure the split had been because of Erin. No, she wasn’t wrong. Terri and the others had thought the affair had been going on for a while, too. She finished washing up in a hurry.