by Ford, Mia
I reach out and brush my fingers along the image, my heart skipping that little bit faster. I don’t know what it is, whether I have just convinced myself that this is the case, but I feel a little bond with the lad. Is that my nose on his face? It’s definitely Paisley’s lips and eyes, but his nose and ears could be mine.
I move along and look at the next picture where Freddie is a little bit older. His wide smile is stunning, he’s such a little sweet boy. My chest swells, I feel an intense love busting through me. I actually want him to be mine now, I want him to be my child. I can’t help it. I keep going along to the next picture and the next, my eyes drinking every inch of him. Paisley too. She’s always been beautiful, the whole time. In some of the pictures when Freddie was younger, she looks pale, tired, and not very well, but that could be what every woman looks like after giving birth. I don’t know, I haven’t ever been around women with babies before.
“So beautiful,” I murmur with my eyes welling up. “Always so beautiful.”
I leap back as I hear foot-steps coming down the stairs. I know I won’t make it back to the chair, so I can’t hide that I have been looking at the pictures, so instead, I just smile as brightly as I can manage.
“All okay?” I ask curiously. “Is he asleep?”
“He’s asleep, just fine. Kate is great at settling him down, so it isn’t much of a surprise.”
“Aw, that’s good. She seems to be really good with him.”
Paisley moves over to where I’m standing, and her eyes graze along the pictures. Every so often her gaze pauses and I can see something flicker. Is it the same features that shocked me? That me and Freddie share? I want to ask her, but I have to keep myself in check. I’m the one who has slowed this process down. I need to be patient.
“He looks like he has had a really happy life anyway,” I tell Paisley with a grin. “You have done a very good job. Not that I spend a lot of time around kids, but he looks very smiley in all these pictures.”
She nods, but seems reluctant to talk about it, which I suppose makes a lot of sense. If he is mine, then it’s going to be hard for her to find the right words to speak. I could push it a little further, I suppose. But there is something else that is much more appealing to me for the moment. It’s zinging between us, begging me to pay attention to it. So, I sidle closer to her and wait for Paisley to turn her head towards mine.
Her eyes connect with mine, a dark desire swims behind her gaze, one that needs me, yearns for me, cries out for me desperately.
Then, I go in for the kiss. I kiss her soft at first, then I amp up the pressure as it becomes obvious that she’s in to it, as her tongue gently snakes between my lips, silently begging me for more. Lots more. As my fingers knot up in her hair it feels absolutely glorious. No other woman has ever felt like this in my arms before, she’s phenomenal, incredible, the love I have for her all but consumes me.
24
Paisley
His mouth sends tingles running all the way through my face, his fingers cause needle pricks of desire rocketing through me. I am on fire. The passion that I have locked away for three years comes alive and rolls over me in waves. My skin flickers, my muscles tighten, a warmth trickles through all of my veins.
“Oh, Josiah.” It feels amazing to call out his name and to have him here. It makes it that much more thrilling for me. As delicious as it was to bring myself to the brink with my fingers, there is something magical about his touch. It’s that much sexier. “Come with me. Come to the bedroom.”
I know there’s no need, we don’t need to hide like we did way back when, the time when we were at my parents’ house, but while no one knows about us it feels safer to lock ourselves away in the secrecy of my bedroom. Hiding away reminds me how taboo this is and that makes it so much more exciting.
I take Josiah’s hand and drag him with me. He comes along laughing, willing to go wherever I want him to. It feels good to have the power for once. Last time we were together I gave myself over to him willingly, my long time crush making me incredibly desperate and needy for him. Now though, I have more fire of my own.
“Get on to the bed,” I command huskily as soon as my bedroom door closes behind him. I can’t help myself, I want to carry on with this power, to let Josiah know that I am the one in control. “That’s right sit there.”
Josiah does as he’s told. I can’t tell right now whether he’s bemused or turned on, but I fully intend to make it swing one specific way. I drag my tongue along my bottom lip and slide my fingers pointedly down my body until I reach the hem line of my skirt. Josiah stiffens, he waits impatiently to see what I’m going to do, and I don’t leave him hanging for long. I don’t trust him and his alpha personality not to need the power back. I drag my dress upright and pull it from my body, dropping it to the floor in a heap. The moment is a little reminiscent of the time I danced for him in his living room and I stripped for him there.
He pants as my fingers playfully graze at the hem line of my panties, just waiting for the moment when I give in and I push my fingers inside of me. I groan. My eyes fall closed and my head lolls to one side. His eyes prickle all over me, sparking intense desire everywhere. As my wet heat soaks my fingertips, it’s his name, his face, his body rolling through my mind, causing a puddle in my panties. He is the only one who can make me feel this way. Like I’m a sex goddess that has been created purely to entertain him.
“Fucking hell, Paisley,” he groans as if in absolute agony. “You’re killing me here.”
“Come over here then.” My voice turns husky as I give him permission to join me. “I need you now.”
I flip my eyes open and watch him come to me. He moves rapidly like he cannot wait to get his hands on me. His eyes are hooded and dark. He looks like all rational thought has deserted him and he’s been completely consumed by passion. My pulse rockets against my rib cage as he tantalizingly slowly slides my fingers out of my underwear and he replaces them with his own. His eyes fix on mine as he massages my insides, and his lips come towards me. But his mouth doesn’t connect with mine, instead, it finds my throat and my collar bone where he sucks at my flushed skin, heating and speeding up my blood flow.
I reach behind my back and unhook my bra, needing it gone, and without even needing to demand it his mouth connects with my rock hard nipple. He tugs and teases, pulling almost a little too hard, making me cry out with ecstasy as a mix of pleasure and pain consumes me. It’s absolutely fucking incredible.
“Get down on your knees,” I command. “I need you between my legs.”
“Oh yeah, and what do you want me to do while I’m there?” His teasing voice rumbles against my skin.
“I want your tongue… I want you to taste me. I want you to fuck me with your mouth.”
The wind is knocked out of me as Josiah whips me around and he tosses me on to the bed. I want to protest, but I don’t have time to find the words. He yanks my panties down and grips on to my thighs, pulling me until the bottom half of me is almost hanging over the bed. I don’t even realize it until I can feel his hot breath tingling along my slit, but he has one of each leg over his shoulder, so I can’t clamp my thighs together when the pressure of anticipation gets too much for me. All I can do is shudder, the vulnerability and the fact that I’m all exposed making it that much more thrilling. I don’t know if it’s me who holds all the power now, but I’m back to not caring. Josiah’s tongue is a special power, one that I absolutely cannot wait to experience once more.
“Do it,” I groan, my fingers gripping tightly to the sheets below me. “Please, Josiah, I’m begging you.”
“Mmm.” His voice rumbles along my core. “I like the sound of you begging me, it’s nice.”
“Just do it already.” This time my voice comes out as a growl. “I fucking need it.”
“Then again… I like the sound of you bossing me around as well, so it’s all good.”
His tongue darts out of his mouth, lightly caressing my clit. My back ar
ches of its own accord, my hips roll towards him. It feels nice, but it isn’t enough. I want more. I need more. I have waited for too long. Josiah fixes me still as much as he can, and he continues to just gently graze me.
“Fuck, it’s too much,” I whisper. “Josiah, it’s too much.”
“You want me to stop?”
“No.” I shake my head rapidly, mussing my hair up on the sheets. “No way.”
“You want more?”
“Of course I want more. What are you trying to do to me here?”
The next time he connects with me I have to grab a pillow and stuff it into my mouth to stop me from screaming. His tongue goes in on me hard and fast, his movements rapid and relentless. The pleasure is an onslaught hitting me from every single angle. I yell into the pillow, the hot bliss cramping my toes, my calves, all of my muscles. Josiah pushes his tongue further into me, I swear he touches part of me that no one has ever touched before. Stars swim around my head, I barely even feel connected to my body, I’m nothing but bliss.
“Oh fuck, Josiah!” He focuses his attention on my clit again, circling it in to submission. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”
Everything in me tenses up, I stiffen and wait with my lungs full of air. I hold my breath, clinging to the pillow with all of my might until it absolutely crashes over me. The waves bash and crash through me, shattering my body. I swear I turn to jelly for a moment, a puddle of pleasure.
“Fucking hell….” I throw the pillow to one side and gasp through the post orgasmic bliss. “That was…”
But instead of lying on the bed and letting this feeling subside, I surprise Josiah by gripping on to his shoulders and flip him on to his back. Still gasping, I rip his shirt apart, probably popping buttons on the way down, not that I really notice, and lick my tongue along his belly. I just have the irresistible urge to taste the delicious sculpted skin of his belly, and it does not disappoint. My fingers work his trousers, pulling them apart, and I eagerly wrap my fingers around his steel rod. He’s so hard for me, and I can’t wait until I feel him inside me.
“Fuck, Paisley, you are killing me,” he groans. “You have no idea how good this feels.”
I start moving then, making it even better for him, and judging by the guttural groan coming out of his mouth he’s already climbing towards the edge. Every stroke of my fingers makes him grunt louder and more desperately. I absolutely love having him needy for me. I absolutely love him.
Fuck me, I love him. That realization hits me hard and fast. I mean, I already knew that but now I really know it. I know it with every part of me. It swells up like a balloon in my chest, becoming all of me. I love him so much it actually hurts. I don’t ever want to be away from him again.
“I want to be inside you,” he groans. “Paisley, I need you so badly.”
I won’t make the same mistake that I made three years ago. Not that I regret what became of that ‘accident’, but I don’t want to repeat it, so I lean across to my night stand drawer and I pull out a condom. As Josiah shakes the rest of his clothing free, I pull the condom free and roll it down over his erection. I do it sexily, seductively, to make it part of the heat of the moment. I’m not the same girl who let this slide.
Then once he is ready for me, I straddle him. His tip teases my entrance, begging for entry. He keeps lifting his hips on the bed, keen to slip in, but I remain in control. My red hair cascades around my face as I stare down at him smiling. I run my hands over my breasts and slide them downwards, but this time instead of touching myself, I give him what he wants, and I plunge him all the way into me.
“Fuck, Josiah.” I cry out his name, needing to remind myself that I’m with him. This isn’t in my imagination, this time it’s all too real, and that’s absolutely wonderful. “Josiah, you feel so good.”
He pushes himself in to a sitting position and wraps his arms around me, his mouth kissing me everywhere as I ride him in to submission. We both climb the mountain together, creeping slowly to the peak, holding on to one another. I tingle all over as the pressure begins to consume me once more, only this time as I tip over the edge in to submission, Josiah falls with me. We are swallowed up by the deep, intense pleasure of an orgasm together and it’s wonderful. The best experience that I have ever had in my whole damn life…
“Wow, that was amazing,” Josiah gasps. “I forgot how good it was to be with you.”
“I thought I did too,” I admit. “But it’s all come screaming back to me now.”
He tips his head down and kisses me. His soft lips almost make me spill out the L word, but I just about manage to hold myself back. I don’t want to give too much away just yet.
“I don’t want to leave you.” Josiah holds me close to him. “But I better leave. I know that it probably won’t be for the best for you to wake up in the morning together. Not for me and you, but for Freddie.”
I sulk because I know that he’s right. It would be so easy to brush any doubts aside because Josiah is Freddie’s father, but my son doesn’t know that, so to him, it would just be a random man. I don’t think the best way for him to meet him would be in the morning when he runs in here to wake me up.
“Yeah, you’re probably right.” I rest my chin on his chest. “I feel bad, just kicking you out though. That isn’t what I would normally do to you, but it would make for an awkward morning.”
We kiss for a little while longer before he finally slides out of the sheets and pulls his clothes on. I don’t need to get that dress back on, so I just grab my nearest robe. As I walk him to the door, it’s strange. A bit like a one-night stand. Then again, it was a one-night stand that led us into this mess in the first place.
“I will see you soon?” he asks me while leaning against the door.
“Yes, you will. You have my number, don’t you, so you can call me whenever you want.”
“Hmm, I will. I think we need to see more of one another.”
I love the way those words make me feel. It’s incredible to know that he really does seem to like me. I smile like a Cheshire cat and hook my arm around the back of his neck to drag him to me to kiss him more. I would love nothing more than to drag him back upstairs to hold me all night long, and maybe even for round two, but we’re being sensible. Sending him away in to the night is the adult thing to do.
After we say our goodbyes I watch him walk away, sighing like a teenage girl with a crush as I admire him. There really isn’t anyone sexier than him. He’s mine… at least he feels like mine for now.
“What am I going to do?” I ask myself quietly as I get myself back inside. “What am I going to do?”
On the one hand, I know that even now my family wouldn’t want this. My parents have never had a very high opinion of Josiah, and that hasn’t changed. To learn that he’s the father of my secret baby, the man whose identity I have kept secret for all this time to protect him, they would lose their nut. Even with Adam’s life moving on, I don’t think that he would be keen either. In his mind, Josiah is his play boy best friend, not the man for me, and to learn that we both betrayed him three years ago would crush him…
He will be back soon as well. His honeymoon isn’t going to last forever and I’m going to have to face his opinions on what’s happened… because there will be no hiding it this time around!
But on the other hand, I love Josiah. I have spent my whole life loving him, there isn’t anyone else for me. If I haven’t managed to find anyone else who compares to him even one percent by now, then it isn’t going to happen. He really is worth sacrificing everything for. Our love is all powerful… plus if we were together we could be a real family, at last, us together with our child, which is the dream. And that’s worth everything, for Freddie as well as the rest of us. It would be the happy ever after that I have always wanted. The one I didn’t dare to dream about because I didn’t think it would ever happen.
My parents did abandon me in my hour of need. Whatever way I look at it, they sent me away to an aunt who, while she was a
brilliant help, didn’t really want me around, isolating me completely. Instead, they should have taken care of me and made sure that I was okay. The pregnancy was complicated. What if I hadn’t survived? Would they have felt bad about it or just be glad that I wasn’t around to embarrass them more?
The fact that I don’t know the answer speaks volumes. Being a parent, myself magnifies that. I would never treat Freddie like that. I would never make him feel like he’s a burden or an embarrassment.
I creep into Freddie’s bedroom, being careful not to make any noise so I don’t wake him, and I watch my boy sleep. A determination surges up inside of me, I will tell him and Josiah the truth at some point when the moment is right. They will find out at some point, I just hope that it doesn’t all explode.
I suppose it could go either way, there are so many possibilities, which is why I need to make sure the moment is the best one. For everyone involved.
“Goodnight, Freddie,” I murmur quietly. “See you in the morning, baby.”
I head back to my room then and grin with the memory of what just happened in here. It’s crazy how quickly things change. It has my head spinning. Who the hell knows what tomorrow will bring? I just hope that it’s another good one. After all the bad times that I’ve had, I think I’m due some good times.
25
Josiah
The sun shines in through my office window, creating a shiny glow over everything. There is just a real warmth about today, the sense that everything is right with the world, which I know is directly linked to last night. The best night of my whole life. Having Paisley back in my arms was the most incredible thing ever. I finally feel whole again. I didn’t even realize just how much I was missing without her.