COLEL (Immortal Matchmakers, Inc. Series Book 5)

by Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

  Everyone exchanged awkward glances.

  Dammit. This isn’t even half as funny as I imagined. In fact, it wasn’t funny at all.

  “Why is everyone looking at me like that? Why isn’t anyone saying hello to Tula?” Zac’s expression was somewhere between offended and worried.

  “I’m afraid…” Colel cleared her throat, “we cannot see her.” Even Chuck, who was buzzing over the table, didn’t see anything. And he had five eyes. Plus he could see ultraviolet light.

  “She is right here. Tula, wave,” Zac commanded.

  “Zac,” Votan coughed, attempting to repress a smile, “are you certain she is there? I once thought I saw a leprechaun, but it just turned out to be Cimil painted green. She thought we were under attack by avocados and wanted to blend in with them.”

  Everyone chuckled.

  “Cimil did have her moments,” Kinich muttered nostalgically.

  “Would everyone stop! This is serious. Tula is here. Right here.” Zac pointed frantically to the empty space.

  Oh no. Zac is about to lose it. Whatever was happening, they needed to get to the bottom of this.

  “When did you begin seeing her?” Colel asked, wondering if perhaps something more than Tula’s death had triggered his hallucinations.

  “After Minky ate her,” Zac replied. “Or, really, on the ship after the mermen dropped Cimil in the ocean.” Zac had gone on the trip to ensure the task was carried out properly. “Then Tula showed up again about a week ago.” Zac looked at the empty space beside him. “You’re right, Tula. They don’t believe me, and that’s a very good point.” He returned his attention to the confused faces around the table. “We all know Minky is real, yet we can’t see or hear her. So why are you doubting me?”

  “That’s a fair point,” Colel said, trying to be supportive, but unconvinced herself. Minky could rip a man’s head clean off right before your very eyes. You never saw Minky, but you sure as hell saw the gore. “Tula, if you can hear me, bite Votan.”

  “Colel…” Votan growled.

  “What?” Colel barked defensively. “Do I look stupid? I don’t want a chunk of my skin torn out. That’ll hurt.”

  Votan narrowed his eyes. “Tula, if you can hear me, take a bite out of Zac.”

  Zac slapped his palms on the plastic table. “It’s not going to work. I tried touching her, and my hand just goes right through. But that doesn’t mean I’m making her up. As Tula pointed out, Minky was the one to take Tula’s body, so maybe Tula being here is connected to Minky’s powers. Invisible, silent powers.”

  This conversation is heading into Crazy Land, and that’s Cimil’s territory. None of them were equipped. “Have you tried asking Minky about all this?”

  Zac chuckled bitterly. “Ask away. Be my guest. If you can find the damned beast.”

  Colel wanted to help, wanted to do something to ease his pain, but what was there to do?

  “This is why,” Zac said, “we must retrieve Cimil. It doesn’t matter if you believe that Tula is standing right here next to me in a lovely bridal gown.”

  “Bridal gown?”

  “We’re getting married in Vegas after the meeting. It’s amazing how they’ll perform the ceremony for just about anyone, even someone they can’t see, because they care.” He dished out his angry eyes to everyone around the table. “However, it doesn’t matter if you’re all cold and uncaring or can’t see her. I can. And if I have any chance of reuniting her with a physical body, I need Cimil. She’s behind all this.”

  “How do you know?” Kinich asked.

  “Cimil basically told Tula that if she died, Cimil would bring her back, but there would be a time limit.”

  Oh boy. This sounds just like one of Cimil’s crazy lies, meant to manipulate and get her way. She likely knew that she’d get caught for her treachery and wouldn’t get away with it this time. Still, I can’t not support Zac. Even if there was the slightest chance, then he deserved it.

  Colel spoke up. “Look, everyone, what do we have to lose? We let Cimil out, make her help Zac, and then put her right back in the ocean.”

  “We’d have to wait until the children are born,” Zac added.

  Everyone groaned.

  “Is that what this is about?” Penelope spoke this time, shaking her head of long dark hair. “Cimil put you up to this, didn’t she? She convinced you she was pregnant, and now you’re making up this whole Tula thing so you can save Cimil’s nonexistent children.”

  “I wouldn’t do that,” Zac argued.

  “But you would,” argued Votan. “Just a few weeks ago, you were fighting to have Cimil released for that very reason.”

  “Yes.” Zac nodded. “But if I am right about those children, then we have to save them from an eternity of hell, and we will have saved Tula, too. If I am wrong, and it is all a hoax, then take Cimil and put her right back. There is nothing lost, no harm done.”

  “The harm,” Votan spoke up in his don’t-argue-with-me-because-I’m-done-arguing voice, “is that we will have to go to war with the mermen over this, and I’d rather not. They are not very nice, and I need a rest from war. My youngest just started preschool, and we’re working on our sword skills. Also, did I mention that mermen are not nice?”

  “We are gods!” Zac roared. “Our very beings were forged by the Universe’s hand herself. We do not cower to fish. We do not shy away from what’s right because we’re afraid of getting our hands dirty.”

  Everyone sidebarred for a moment. Even those on the iPads were chatting amongst themselves.

  “I am putting my foot down,” said Votan. “When we go to war, we go to win, and so do the fish boys. Therefore, challenging them is no different than agreeing to wipe them off the face of the earth, because they will never surrender. They will fight until their last breath. Or flipper wiggles. Or…whatever the hell those creatures do last. So, I, for one, am not willing to exterminate an entire species of respectable fellow warriors simply to satisfy Zac’s hunch.”

  “My mate is standing right here!” Zac yelled. “I can see her. Would you deny me her touch and her warmth for eternity?”

  “I’m sorry, Zac.” Votan straightened his back and raised his square chin. It was his stubborn-as-a-mule pose. He wasn’t going to budge. “I cannot condone war with the mermen for the sake of one woman. Surely Tula would agree. Don’t you, Tula?” Votan stared at the empty space.

  Zac’s nostrils flared.

  “Well?” Votan asked smugly. “What did she say?”

  Zac looked down at his black leather boots. “She blahblahblah,” he mumbled.

  “Didn’t catch that.” Votan leaned in with his hand cupped around his ear.

  Zac grunted. “She said she agrees with you. Are you fucking happy now?”

  Oh gods. This is just too heartbreaking. I must do something. “Wait. Hold your hairy balls, everyone. What if the mermen agreed to release Cimil on their own? No war.”

  Votan and the others toggled their heads in contemplation.

  “I wouldn’t see an issue,” said Forgetty, aka the Goddess of Forgetfulness.

  Colel looked at the biggest naysayer in the room. “Well, Votan?”

  “I suppose,” Votan grumbled petulantly. “But if it’s all a farce, then Cimil goes right back in the ocean. I don’t ever want to see her again.”

  Colel understood Votan’s dislike for their sister. While Cimil had brought Votan and Emma together, Cimil made it extra painful simply to amuse herself. It was a journey that had left many scars.

  So damned funny when you’re not the one taking the hit.

  “Penelope,” Colel clapped her hands to get everyone’s attention, “take a vote. All in favor of releasing Cimil temporarily as long as the mermen agree?”

  It was unanimous.

  Yes! Colel exhaled. It wasn’t a guaranteed solution, but it gave Zac a chance. The only question now was, how would he convince the mermen? It wouldn’t be easy.

  No, it will be impossible.

&nb
sp; Shortly after the meeting concluded, everyone began taking off to go do what crazy deities did when out and about in LA: hit the Randy Unicorn—Forgetty and Belch’s flagship nightclub. After that, they’d all have spicy chicken wings at the restaurant owned by Forgetty’s new mate, Távas. Still can’t believe she hooked up with him. So evil. The good news was that he had renounced his evil ways, so he was no longer a threat. But chicken wings?

  “Kinich!” Colel called out, catching him before he hit the elevator. “Hey, I need a favor.”

  He turned and beamed down at her with warm brotherly affection. She loved that about him. “Yes?”

  “Can you come and have dinner with me and my potential mate tomorrow night in Colorado? I actually liked your suggestion about making him a vampire, and I thought it would be helpful if he could put a face to the species.”

  “I’d be happy to. What time?”

  Yes! This is perfect. “Be at my place at seven. Dinner at eight. I’ll text you the address where I’m staying. And thank you so, so much. This means a lot to me.”

  “Happy to help.” He left in the elevator with Penelope. Now it was just Zac and Colel alone. And…Tula?

  “Hey, so…good meeting, right?” she said.

  Zac didn’t respond. Instead, he seemed to be in a deep conversation with the gray carpet. “No, my love. I don’t know what we’re going to do, but one must try. And, after all, I am the God of Temptation. I will find a way to persuade Roen.”

  “Zac?” Colel tugged on the hem of his black T-shirt. “So what’s the plan?”

  He glanced at her. “I am going to kidnap Roen.”

  “What?” Her eyes popped from her head.

  “Just kidding. I will see if he can be reasoned with.”

  She stared up into her brother’s turquoise eyes. “If he doesn’t agree, you’re going to take him and torture him, aren’t you?”

  Zac grinned in a way that told her his plans were much more sinister.

  “Zac…what are you up to?” Her tone warned him not to make more trouble.

  “I am going to do whatever it takes. Just like you would for your mate, or our brethren would do for any of theirs.”

  Colel sucked in a sharp breath, expecting some rational-sounding words to come out of her mouth, but they didn’t. The truth was, she knew that any one of her brethren would reduce the earth to ashes if it meant saving their mates. They would do anything for them. Anything.

  “Well then,” she gave him a nod, “I wish you good luck.”

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  Colel’s hands shook as she braided her hair down the side and tried to apply her smoky eyeshadow in the master bath in the log mansion. She didn’t usually wear makeup, but tonight was important, and she wanted to look her hottest. It was a fact that mortal men were visual creatures, and if she had any hope of Rys warming up to her, she needed to stoke the coals of his desire.

  The sudden commotion downstairs alerted her to Kinich and Votan’s arrival. They’d taken a later flight to Denver and drove the rest of the way. She was happy to hear they were both alive. Those two loved to fight. God versus vampire.

  “Okay.” She looked at herself in the mirror, checking to be sure she hadn’t missed anything. Her turquoise eyes looked like sky blue orbs, her skin glowed with a healthy tan from her recent trip to Mexico, and her lips were red like ripe berries. Tonight she wore her finest silk toga, a shimmery white thing with a golden belt.

  Hot damn. I look like a sexy superhero. She glanced longingly at the bright yellow hive hat sitting just inside the closet on a shelf. Her outfit didn’t feel complete without it, but she needed Rys to focus on other things tonight. Her hat wouldn’t help.

  She took one last look at her tall, slender frame in the mirror. She knew the Universe had made her beautiful, but tonight, she truly felt it.

  She went downstairs and entered the large living room with panoramic windows overlooking the snow-covered valley below. The storm had finally passed, leaving behind a moonlit sky that gave a blueish glow to everything outside.

  It even feels like a night to fall in love.

  She turned her head, and Brutus just stood there staring, as if he’d seen a ghost. Or Minky.

  “You look lovely, Bees,” said Kinich, dressed in dark jeans and a light blue sweater that brought out the golden brown tones in his skin.

  “Thank you. But no nicknames for me tonight. Just use Colel.”

  “Let’s get this dinner moving. I’m hungry,” Votan griped from over by the fireplace.

  “Hold on,” she said. “We need to establish a few ground rules tonight. I haven’t broken the news to Rys yet about what I am, so—”

  “Then what’s the point of the dinner?” Votan asked.

  “I want him to be able to put a face with the species once I tell him everything. This way, he’s not put off by any preconceived notions he may have about vampires or gods.”

  “So what are we supposed to talk about?” Kinich asked.

  “Well, Nick, talk about your charity work. Talk about your travels and…I don’t know. You’re tens of thousands of years old. You’re both like walking, talking Wikipedias.”

  “Not to worry,” Votan said. “I will lead the conversation.”

  Of course he would. The God of Death and War always wanted to lead.

  “Yes,” Colel interjected, “but just remember, it’s a conversation. I want him to feel welcome—nay, I want him to feel excited about becoming part of our family.”

  Both men frowned.

  “What?” she asked.

  “If you haven’t noticed,” Kinich said, “our family is not so welcoming and extremely dysfunctional. I would not tout joining it as a perk.”

  “Agreed,” Votan said. “You should focus on things that will not frighten him off, such as…if he bonds with you, he may inherit some of your gifts.”

  Now she was the one wincing. Rys did not care for bees. She doubted he’d get excited about being able to communicate with them.

  She wiggled her lips from side to side. “Ummm, I’m not sure that will win him over.”

  “Tell him about the joys of eternal life,” said Kinich. “One can accomplish much if you have unlimited time.”

  She toggled her head. “Maybe. Though, I do wonder if he’ll see it that way. The first few decades are rough on most immortals.” Everyone they’d ever known would grow old and die.

  “Then, my goddess,” Brutus finally spoke up from the corner of the room, “he will have to find joy in knowing that you will be by his side forever. If this human is truly your destiny, then nothing will make him happier.”

  Colel blinked at Brutus, suddenly noticing the soft green hues of his immortal turquoise eyes. “What a lovely thing to say, Brutus. Thank you.”

  He dipped his head. “I merely speak from the heart.”

  Kinich and Votan exchanged awkward glances.

  “What?” Colel snapped. “It was nice.”

  “Errr…no arguments here,” Kinich said. “Shall we go?”

  “Yes. We’re already late.” Colel headed for the front door.

  “Good luck, goddess,” said Brutus as she strolled out. “Gods speed.”

  “Thank you,” she said. “And please, whatever you do, Brutus, don’t let my bees out of that closet. Guard the door with your life because if they sense anything’s off—any awkward emotions or upset—they will be trying to get out.”

  Brutus bowed his head. “I will do my best.”

  Votan, Kinich, and Colel stepped out onto the porch to wait for one of the soldiers to pull the car around.

  “Colel, how long has Brutus been acting strange?” Votan asked.

  “You mean Chatty Cathy back there?” she replied. “I dunno. A few weeks, I guess. Why? Do you think he’s flipping? Because I was just thinking that myself.”

  “No. I think he’s just fine,” Votan replied.

  “Then?” Colel asked.

  “My guess? He’s in love with you.”
>
  Kinich bobbed his head in agreement. “I saw his aura shift the moment you entered the room. Definitely in love.”

  “What? You’re both crazy. I’m not Brutus’s mate. I’m Rys’s mate.”

  “One does not need to be mated to fall in love.” Votan headed for the waiting SUV. “Plus, you’re definitely giving off horny vibes, so he is probably responding to that.”

  “Oh.” Honestly, the thought hadn’t crossed her mind. It was unusual for an immortal to fall in love with someone other than their mate, but it did happen. For example, two demigods, Andrus and Tommaso, recently fell for two sisters. Tommaso ended up with Andrus’s mate. Andrus ended up with his mate’s sister.

  “So what do I do?” Colel asked and slid into the large black SUV beside Votan. Kinich took the front passenger seat.

  “Nothing,” replied Votan. “If he is not of interest to you, then let him work through it.”

  That was Votan’s answer? Odd. Because in her experience, a jealous immortal warrior was not a good thing. And they don’t generally give up on getting what they want.

  Crap. Well, there’s nothing I can do about it tonight. She needed to focus on Rys and getting their relationship off the ground.

  Spaghetti night, here we come.

  “Errr…come in?” Dressed in a dark blue shirt and jeans, Rys opened the front door of his small, but adorable home. It had big windows in the front and nice stonework around the arched entryway outside, along with white storm shutters and a steep pitched roof.

  It was a nice house for sure, but she wondered why he didn’t rent out this place and live in the log mansion. Perhaps the home was too much house for just him and his granny?

  “We would love to,” she said to Rys, noticing he hadn’t moved from the doorway. Instead, he stared up at Votan, who wore black leather pants and a T-shirt. It was minus ten degrees outside on this fine spring evening.

  Hmmm…guess I should have at least told Votan to pretend to be cold. Honestly, the thought hadn’t crossed her mind. She’d long ago stopped noticing what her brethren wore. Or didn’t wear, in the case of Belch, who often preferred the nudist look. Nevertheless, she suspected it wasn’t Votan’s clothes getting Rys’s attention. It was that Rys himself was a large man—well over six feet, a sturdy muscular frame and commanding presence—but her brother’s ominous vibe was undeniable. Add to that his seven-foot-tall body, he often caught the attention of mortals. Kinich was no different, only he had a much mellower, nicer disposition despite being a vampire, and his hair was shorter now and more golden brown.