The Brightest of Dreams

by Susan Anne Mason

  “Hmph.” The woman hobbled toward the door. “From what you’d told me about him, I thought the lad would have had more sense.” She glanced at Julia with a sympathetic look. “Enjoy a wee rest while I’m out. You deserve it.”

  Julia managed a smile. The more she was around the feisty widow, the more she liked her. She had an unconventional attitude, combined with a sharp wit and a wicked sense of humor. Secretly, Julia liked to pretend Mrs. Middleton was the grandmother she’d never known. Though even a grandmother might not have accepted her scandalous condition as easily.

  Julia lingered in the dining room over another cup of tea until she heard the front door close, signaling the women’s departure. Then she rose and went into the parlor, where her Bible awaited her. She might not be able to attend services, but she could still spend the hour in prayer.

  Though Julia did her best to keep her focus on scripture, her mind inevitably wandered back to Quinn. Had he convinced Cecil to return to England? Was he still in town, or had they all left for Halifax? If Harry was well enough, there would be no need to stay in Toronto until the last minute, and Quinn would likely want to get to Halifax in plenty of time to secure their passage.

  A well of hurt arose at the idea that he might have left the country without seeing her one last time. But what else did she expect once he’d learned the truth? Deep down, she’d hoped he would be able to overlook her pregnancy and understand why she chose to keep it a secret. Even though it had seemed he didn’t blame her for what happened, his silence spoke volumes.

  A loud knock echoed through the quiet of the large house.

  Julia jumped, knocking the Bible from her lap. It landed with a soft thud on the carpet. She glanced at the clock on the mantel. Too early for Mrs. Middleton to be home, for she always enjoyed fellowship in the church hall after the service. Besides, the woman wouldn’t knock on her own door.

  Could Quinn have had a change of heart and come to see her after all? Julia’s pulse sprinted with hope as she retrieved the Bible and set it on the table. Then she smoothed her skirt and hurried to answer the door.

  But when she pulled it open, the feeling of anticipation evaporated faster than drops of water on a hot griddle. Instead, her mouth fell open, and her legs threatened to buckle.

  Richard Hawkins stood on the porch, impeccably dressed as always in a suit and tie. His stern features softened slightly when he saw her. “Julia. Thank the heavens, I’ve tracked you down at last.”

  Her hand flew to her throat, and without thinking, she retreated a few steps.

  He took advantage of her surprise to push his way into the house. “You didn’t meet me at the hospital as I asked in my letter. I’ve been frantic not being able to reach you. There’s so much I need to say to you.” He paused to gentle his voice as he turned to face her. “Julia, ever since our time together, I can’t get you out of my mind. I want you to know how special you are—” His gaze strayed to her abdomen then, and he froze. His face hardened, his eyes narrowing.

  Julia shoved her trembling hands into her apron pockets, hoping to disguise the swell, but it was too late.

  “You’re with child,” he hissed. “Several months along, from the look of it.”

  Her mind scattered, all forms of rebuttal escaping her. Dear Lord, help me. What do I do now?

  Perspiration beaded on her forehead, one cold droplet sliding down her neck. With no other viable option, she did the only thing she could think of. She jutted her chin out. “I may have put on a few pounds, thanks to the cook’s enticing menu, but I hardly believe that warrants such a comment.” She edged toward the front entrance, but he reached out to snag her by the arm.

  “Come now, Julia. I’m a physician. You can’t fool me.”

  Panic gripped her airway as she realized just how alone they were. Everyone else was out at church. Even Mrs. Neville. She glanced toward the open door and tried to estimate her chances of making it outside without injury.

  “How dare you keep this from me?” Spittle formed at the corner of his mouth. “I have a right to know I’m going to be a father.”

  She backed away from him. “You’re wrong.”

  “I don’t think so. The night we were together, it was abundantly clear that you were an innocent, and I doubt you’ve been with anyone since.”

  Bile rose in her throat. Her first impulse was to tell him it was Quinn’s baby. But her tongue wouldn’t cooperate, refusing to drag Quinn into her shame.

  Her cheeks heated. Tears burned the back of her eyes. What would Richard do now? Would he try to take the child from her? He was a respected doctor, a man with power and influence in the community. The very reason she had never accused him of assaulting her, fearing his word would hold far more weight than hers.

  She backed up further until the sharp edge of the wall’s wainscoting stabbed her hip.

  “Julia.” He sighed, trying to regain control of himself. “You needn’t look so terrified. I came here to tell you the good news—that after a great deal of consideration, I have decided to divorce my wife. Soon I will be free to marry you. You must admit the timing has to be fate.” He bent and splayed his fingers over her abdomen. “I’ve always wanted a son. Something my present wife couldn’t give me.”

  Nausea churned in Julia’s stomach at the feel of his hands on her. Her whole body began to rebel, shaking uncontrollably, but she pulled herself up and summoned the last remnants of courage. “I want you to leave. Now,” she said in a loud voice.

  He jerked upright and stared. “I’m not leaving without you. Go and pack your things. You’re coming with me.” He grabbed her by the elbow and began to propel her toward the staircase.

  “I’m not going anywhere with you.” She grasped the newel-post, digging her feet into the carpet in an attempt to thwart his progress. Fear tasted metallic on her tongue. Mrs. Middleton wouldn’t be home for almost an hour. When she returned, she’d find Julia gone and would think the worst. That despite her kindness, Julia had run off—

  “Take your filthy hands off her.” A deep voice thundered through the hallway.

  Julia’s legs went weak. Quinn!

  Richard whirled around. “This is a private matter. None of your concern.”

  Quinn charged forward, fists clenched. “You have no right to put your hands on Julia. Especially after what you’ve done to her.”

  Richard eyed him and released Julia’s arm. “I have every right. I am the father of this child, and I intend to marry her.”

  Julia gave a strangled cry, her eyes glued to Quinn. She shook her head, silently begging him not to believe it. She would never marry Richard. She’d give up the baby first before she let him near her child.

  The veins in Quinn’s neck stood out, evidence of the temper he was working hard to suppress. Julia feared that at any moment he would attack Richard in a misguided attempt at revenge. But violence wouldn’t solve anything and would only get Quinn in trouble with the law.

  “Julia is not going to marry you,” Quinn said tersely, towering above the shorter man. “Because she is marrying me.” He stared at Richard without blinking.

  Julia gasped. What on earth made him say that?

  Richard’s eyes narrowed on Julia. “Is this true?”

  She quickly moved to Quinn’s side, her heart thudding loudly. “I told you the day we met in the hospital that Quinn and I are together.” The white lie rolled easily off her tongue. She’d do anything to protect her baby. Never would she allow her child to be raised by such a man. “We have nothing further to say to each other, Dr. Hawkins. And if you contact me again, I’ll . . . call the constable.”

  Quinn draped a protective arm around her, his upper body as inflexible as granite.

  Red splotches marred Richard’s face. “You’re bluffing. I am the father of your child. I’d bet money on it.”

  Julia willed her gaze to remain steady, neither confirming nor denying his claim.

  “You are a married man,” Quinn practically sneered
. “You have no right to stake a claim on another woman. Now leave and don’t return.” He grabbed hold of Richard’s arm and forced the man toward the doorway.

  Richard twisted back to glare at Julia. “You haven’t heard the last of this.” The iciness of his voice matched the coldness in his eyes. “I’ll find a way to prove that’s my child, and when I do, there’ll be hell to pay.”

  It took every ounce of Quinn’s control not to smash his fist into Hawkins’s detestable face. Make him pay for what he’d done to Julia. Instead, he gritted his teeth, shoved the blustering oaf out onto the porch, and slammed the door. Congratulating himself that he hadn’t lost control, he took a minute to calm himself before going in to face Julia.

  After much reflection and self-recrimination over the past week, Quinn had come to apologize to Julia for the way he’d reacted to the news of her situation. Once the shock and disappointment had faded, he’d been able put himself in Julia’s shoes, trying to imagine how lost she must be feeling, about to face motherhood alone. He knew then he had to try and make amends.

  It never occurred to him that the cad who had taken advantage of Julia would be bold enough to come after her again. Seeing the man’s hands on her, all Quinn’s protective instincts had roared to life, and he’d blurted out the lie before he’d had time to think it through.

  Lord, forgive me and help me rectify the situation with Julia.

  He strode over to where she stood trembling in the hall, her eyes wide.

  “Are you all right? He didn’t hurt you, did he?”

  “No. I’m fine.” Yet her breathing was shallow, her face too pale.

  “Come and sit down.”

  He led her into the parlor to the sofa, then went to get her a glass of water.

  Once she had drained half the glass and a bit of her color had returned, he took a seat across from her.

  “Thank you,” she said quietly as she fingered the glass. “You didn’t have to do that.”

  “I couldn’t stand watching that man put his hands on you as if he owned you.” He clenched his molars together and mentally counted to ten.

  “Why are you here, Quinn?” Her soft question was laced with hurt. Or was it regret?

  He released a long breath. “I felt bad about the way I reacted the other day.” He leaned over his knees, his gaze sliding to the carpet. “I did a lot of thinking afterward, and I realized I hadn’t considered how hard this must be for you. Having a man you trusted abuse you, facing an unknown future, raising a child alone—that would be enough to break most people.”

  Silence. He raised his head to look at her.

  Julia’s forehead had puckered, and tears brimmed in her brown eyes.

  With a sigh, he moved to sit beside her on the sofa. He took one of her hands in his, and when he looked down into her misty eyes, he could no longer deny the truth. No matter the horrid circumstances, no matter that she carried another man’s child, he was in love with this woman. “Can you forgive me for being so judgmental?”

  “There’s nothing to forgive.” A tear slid down her cheek. “I hated thinking that you despised me.”

  “I could never despise you, Julia.” He gave her a rueful smile. “However, I won’t deny I was disappointed.”

  Her gaze faltered.

  “Not in you. Never that.” He lifted her chin. “I was disappointed because I wished the baby was mine.”

  “Oh, Quinn.” More tears spilled over.

  He took out his handkerchief and gently wiped her cheeks. Though he hated to distress her any further, a harsh reality had to be faced. “I hate to add to your troubles, but there’s something we need to address. Hawkins is going to continue to harass you. He’s convinced the baby is his, and I suspect nothing will stop him from attempting to gain control.”

  She laid a protective hand over her stomach. “What am I going to do? I will never marry him. And I won’t let him take my baby.” Panic flashed over her features.

  “I won’t allow that either.” He put an arm around her, pulling her against him. All the while, his mind raced with what he could do to protect her. “Come to England with me. He won’t be able to bother you there. And once you explain the circumstances, I’m certain your uncle will take you in.”

  The flames crackled as a log fell over in the hearth.

  She sniffed into her handkerchief. “I can’t do that, Quinn. I can’t bring shame to Uncle Howard’s good name. You know how his peers value their reputations. He would be ostracized because of me.”

  Quinn wanted to argue with her, but deep down he knew she was right. He’d witnessed the English nobility’s snobbery firsthand. The only way to save face would be . . .

  He sucked in a breath. “I believe I’ve already devised the solution,” he said. “That is, if you’re willing to consider it.” This had to be done properly, or she might refuse to listen.

  Once again, he took her hands in his. “If we were to marry before the baby is born, the child would be considered mine. ”

  “You can’t be serious?”

  “I’m very serious.”

  “No, Quinn, I couldn’t . . .” Julia bit her bottom lip. “It wouldn’t be fair to you.”

  Not fair to him? How was any of this fair to her?

  “Besides,” she said, “you’re leaving for England soon. And you have your family to think about. They must be your priority.”

  He ran his thumb gently over her hand and waited until she looked at him. “I could give you my name and my protection before I go. Or you could come with me . . . as my wife. Your uncle need never know the circumstances of the child’s conception.” He squashed the niggle of doubt that he might not be able to love Julia’s child as he should. With no way to determine that for certain, he would have to pray for God’s grace on the matter.

  The more he thought about it, the more certain he became. Marriage was the right thing for both of them.

  Slowly she disengaged her hand from his. Then she rose and crossed to the window that looked onto the front yard.

  Quinn forced himself to remain quiet, to give her time to think, to weigh her options. If she thought about it logically, she would have to see the perfection of this solution.

  Suddenly, it dawned on him how advantageous this could be for him as well. They could marry and go back to England, with his siblings. The earl would give Quinn the property he’d promised him, one with enough room to house him and Julia and the babe, as well as his mother and Harry and perhaps even Cecil, if the lad ever came to his senses. This whole situation might turn out to be a blessing in disguise.

  At last, Julia turned back to him. A wreath of sadness shrouded her features. “You’ll never know how much I appreciate your offer, Quinn.” She sighed. “However, I can’t allow you to sacrifice your life for me.”

  She looked so beautiful, her fair head framed with light from the window behind her. If only she’d accept his help. “I wouldn’t consider it a sacrifice, Julia. I care about you a great deal.” He hesitated, then, in a moment of utter surrender, allowed his defenses to fall away. “I might even be falling in love with you,” he said quietly. “So, you see, it would be no great hardship to marry you.”

  Julia stumbled back a step. She pressed one hand to her mouth but nothing could contain the well of emotion rising through her.

  Quinn might be in love with her?

  How was that even possible after everything he’d learned about her? Her mistakes? Her pregnancy? Tears pushed at the corners of her eyes. That he would do something so noble to protect her and give his name to her child, well, it was beyond anything she deserved.

  But love? She wasn’t at all sure how she felt about that. Her breath skittered in her lungs, and nerves rioted through her stomach. She swallowed and attempted to formulate an adequate response to his declaration. Still, no words would come.

  She raised her head and found his warm gray eyes watching her intently.

  “Julia, please don’t think I’m saying this solely
to sway your decision. I just didn’t want to leave things left unsaid between us.” His lips twitched into a half smile. “And even if it will pain me, I want you to be honest too.”

  “Oh, Quinn,” she whispered. “I don’t know what to say.”

  Her legs began to tremble, forcing her to sit on the sofa. Confusion reigned as her mind wrestled with her heart, but she couldn’t seem to reconcile the two. What did she feel for Quinn? She was attracted to him, no doubt about that. In addition, she admired many things about him—his intelligence, his loyalty, his determination. She might even be sliding toward love herself, though it was much too soon to say for certain.

  He came to sit beside her, his nearness providing a distraction to thinking logically.

  “It’s all right, Julia. Love doesn’t always happen at the same time. We could wed in name only until the baby comes. Then once your situation is secure and the baby is legally mine, we could determine whether or not to continue the marriage.”

  “Why would you want to do this? There is no benefit to you in this union.”

  His lips tightened. “Perhaps you’re not used to someone simply wanting to do the right thing. I cannot in good conscience leave you here at the mercy of that cad. If I can’t be here physically to protect you, then at least you’d have my name.” His eyes begged her to believe him.

  Yet there were still several important issues looming between them. Issues she couldn’t ignore.

  “What about the fact that our marriage would never be sanctioned by my family or anyone else in English society?” The thought of disappointing her uncle again was too overwhelming to consider. Coward that she was, she’d rather stay in Toronto.

  He took her hand in his, heat from his fingers surrounding her. “We can face those obstacles when the time comes. Together.”

  Julia’s air whooshed out. Her head spun with everything that had happened in such a short space of time and the emotional turmoil that accompanied it.

  Quinn leaned closer, his warm breath stirring the ends of her hair. “Will you marry me, Julia?”