Deserving Love

by Myers, K. L.

  Lorenzo shakes his head. “Frankie Lombardi wasn’t part of Matteo’s crew. He was some lowlife who Vincent had working on the side for him. We didn’t even know he existed until three weeks ago. He’s been hard to find.”

  My heart races at the thought that Bethany and Peanut could still be in danger. “How did we find out about this Frankie guy? Are we sure about this?”

  I sit and listen attentively as Lorenzo explains the whole dirty story. Seems Marco was sleeping with Tommaso’s wife. On his last visit to her home, she mentioned that she overheard Sofia, Frankie’s wife, tell Alissa that Frankie was going to take a trip to Virginia to visit some little bitch and her son who caused problems for Vincent.

  I stand up so fast that my chair falls to the ground. “Tell me we’ve sent our own to Virginia to solve this problem.”

  “We have, but Frankie has been quite elusive.”

  I begin pacing back and forth. “Have we let Lillian or Lincoln know?”

  “No.”

  One word stops me in my tracks. “No? Why the fuck not?”

  “This is not their fight, Angelo, and you know that. We will handle this on our own, and you are not to tell them. Why do you think I’m here, you dumb fuck? We need you to take a trip and visit Lillian. She’s been asking your father about you since you won’t return her calls or messages. Why is that, anyway?”

  It’s none of his damn business why I’ve chosen to cut myself off from the world. In my own way, I thought everyone would be safer if I was out of the picture. I should have known that wouldn’t be the case. In my world, nothing ends until everyone is dead. In my own defense though, I thought everyone was dead. I relished in hearing Gabriel tell me how he put a bullet in the last piece of shit that was part of Matteo’s family. The only one left standing, in the end, is Ashlynn because she is one of Lillian's best friends. She may have been Matteo’s daughter, but she would never betray Lillian or anyone Lillian loved. That girl is more of a Vicci than she ever was an Esposito. She has been living in California since she left New York to be with Lillian at college. Ashlynn wanted her own freedom from her family. Like Lillian, she wants to make her own decisions in life. Plus, there is no family who wants to marry their son to her anyway.

  “Are you going to answer my question?” Lorenzo asks smugly.

  “None of your damn business.”

  “Whatever. Lillian is back working at her practice. I think you should pay her a visit. Wish her well and hang around for a bit. Maybe even visit your little Bethany.”

  Hearing Lorenzo call her ‘my little Bethany’ just pisses me off. “She’s not mine, and I don’t want to see her. But I will pay a visit to Lillian.”

  “You have blinders on, my friend. You can kid yourself, but you’ll never fool the rest of us. The day you decided to provide her protection was the day you turned your back on this life.”

  Fury fills me at Lorenzo’s statement. I’ve never turned my back on my family, on my life. I’ve always been a Rizzuto, and I always will. If my family is ever in danger, I'll protect them with my life. Family first. It’s how it’s always been and always will be.

  “I’ve never turned my back on this life or my family,” I spit in anger. “Is that how my father sees it, or is that how you see it, Lorenzo?”

  “No one sees it that way, Angelo. It was just my mouth running. You’re loyal. You’ve just changed.”

  Chapter 7

  ANGELO

  Lorenzo was half right. I have changed, but not the way he thinks. I’ll always put my family first, but now I know that having a woman who will stand by your side and fight with you means the world. I’ve had a taste of that twice, and both times I’ve tossed it away like it meant nothing. I don’t deserve to be loved if I can turn my back and walk away when the going gets tough.

  Why am I so hell-bent on believing that God is punishing me every time I let a woman get close? I ask myself this question a lot lately, and I can never find the answer.

  Last night, I messaged Lillian to let her know I was coming to visit. That I need to apologize for shutting her out, and that it’s something I need to do face-to-face, not over the phone. She openly welcomes my trip. I’m not sure why I thought she wouldn’t. She has always been the one person who has loved me like family, unconditionally.

  LILLIAN

  “Angelo is coming to visit,” I advise Lincoln. “You know what I’m thinking, don’t you, babe?” Lincoln shakes his head at me.

  “Stay out of it, Lillian. Angelo and Bethany need to be the ones to work through whatever it is between them. You can’t force them on each other. Besides, I’m not sure I want him involved in her life anymore. She is safer that way.”

  I sometimes forget that he doesn’t understand Lillian Olivia Vicci can do anything she wants to do. No one tells me to mind my own business. It’s a trait I inherited from my father. Everything is my business when it involves someone I care about.

  “Safer? You’ve got to be kidding me, Linc. He took a bullet for her, or have you forgotten? His life for hers, that’s all he’s ever been trained to do.”

  I ignore Lincoln and take matters into my own hands. Regardless of what anyone thinks, I know Angelo is meant to be a part of Bethany’s life.

  The first text I send is to Bethany.

  ME: Have lunch with me today. Bring Peanut, and we’ll have lunch in the park.

  BETHANY: Kind of busy today cleaning house.

  ME: It can wait. It’s beautiful outside, and I need to get out of the office. You know I won’t without a reason to.

  BETHANY: Fine, we’ll be there at one.

  Pleased with myself, I send my next text, hoping that I’m able to reach Angelo before he gets on a plane and shows up at my home.

  ME: What time do you land? Meet me at my office.

  ANGELO: I get in at two. Why don’t I just meet you at your home later tonight?

  ME: No, just come to my office. It’s a light day for me, and we’ll ride to my home together. Gives us some alone time.

  ANGELO: Whatever you say.

  Okay, so I lied. My day is anything but light. Though I allowed myself time for lunch, my afternoon schedule is back-to-back appointments. Now, I have to make sure Bethany is still here when Angelo arrives.

  I grab the next patient’s chart from my nurse and spend a few moments reviewing it before I enter the room.

  * * *

  Bethany arrives just a few minutes before one. Knowing that my plan needs to work on a tight schedule, I’ve already called the deli next to the park and ordered our lunches.

  “I took the liberty of ordering your favorite, so that it will be ready when we get there,” I tell Bethany as I pull Peanut into my arms and rest him on my hip.

  “Willian, I want peabutter and jelwy.”

  I kiss Peanut’s nose as I tell him I already got him his favorite sandwich, and I also got him a chocolate chip cookie to go with it. He squirms in my arms in excitement. When I put him down, he reaches for my hand.

  “Wet’s go, Willian. I hungry.”

  Both Bethany and I laugh. Passing by my receptionist, I let her know I’ll be back in an hour. Well before my next patient is scheduled. The office closes from one to two thirty each day. This is one of the new policies Jackie Copley put into place when she ran the practice in my absence. It worked out so well that the two of us decided to keep it in place when I returned. Jackie and I both run the practice on a daily basis now. It only seemed fair considering my life with Lincoln is anything but normal. If it weren’t for my family dragging me back in, I knew I wanted to spend more time with Lincoln, and to do so meant I had to split my patient load with someone.

  The three of us find a quiet spot under a dogwood. This is my favorite park. Pink and white flowering dogwoods are everywhere. When the trees are in full bloom, nothing could be more relaxing than sitting beneath one and taking in all the beauty.

  “Peanut, eat first, then we’ll go play.”

  Bethany and I catch up on
the last week. Even though she is always bubbly, I can see that there has been a change in her since Angelo walked away. Deep down I know she misses him, but she’ll never admit it out loud. In that way she is just like her brother. They both keep everything bottled up inside.

  It’s just a little after two when we arrive back at my office. “Bring Peanut inside and let me listen to his chest before you go,” I tell Bethany. Peanut was coughing a bit while playing at lunch, and though I know it’s nothing to be concerned about, it does give me a chance to stall her until Angelo arrives.

  “There’s a gentleman waiting for you in your office, Ms. Vicci,” Susan tells me when we walk through the door.

  I couldn’t have planned this any better, I think to myself. But Lincoln is going to kill me for this one, I’m sure.

  Chapter 8

  BETHANY

  I hold Peanut’s hand as we walk down the hall toward one of the examining rooms. Peanut stops to bend down and pick up his toy car that he dropped. I stop in front of Lillian's office while I wait for him to retrieve his car and take my hand once again. The door is open, but I don’t bother to look inside. Peanut stands up clutching his car in one hand and reaches for my other. I start to move but stop immediately when my son yells.

  “Angelwhoa!” Peanut releases my hand and runs into Lillian's office.

  My stomach tosses and turns, threatening to expel my freshly-eaten lunch. Why on earth is he here? I ask myself. I’ve done so well over the last month pushing him from my mind and trying to force him out of my heart. Just when I think I’m finally ready to move on, he shows up. Why is God punishing me?

  “Bethany.” Angelo calls my name as he stands. Christ, he looks good. I had forgotten how sexy he is in his tight T-shirt and ass-hugging jeans. He bends down and lifts Peanut into his arms. “How have you been, little man?” he asks, and Peanut is more than happy to fill him in on everything he has been doing since we left New York several weeks ago. I remember the day to a tee. Anthony Rizzuto had shown up at Lillian’s and told us that we were safe to return home. But he had suggested that it wouldn’t hurt to enlist a permanent security team since we were now officially known as friends to the Rizzuto crime family, and that everyone, including those who dislike the family, knew that Angelo Rizzuto had a thing for Bethany Eastwick and her kid. I remember thinking, How much of a thing could Angelo have for Peanut and me if he won’t have anything to do with us?

  When Peanut is finished telling Angelo everything, he focuses his full attention on me. Angelo’s eyes burn with desire in them. I know, because this is exactly how I’m sure my eyes look to him. I still want him—no, I still crave him. I want to know what it feels like to have him hold me all night long. To have his lips press against mine with the passion of a man dying to breathe his last breath.

  Angelo’s eyes become sad when he asks how I’ve been. It’s apparent that his turning away from us hurt him as much as it hurt me.

  “We’ve been fine, Angelo, and you?” I reply with a half-hearted smile on my face.

  “Good.”

  One word, that’s the only response I get to my question. What an idiot. I give him an opportunity to apologize for the way things went down. A way for him to tell me that he was wrong, because I know deep down in my heart that is exactly what he wants. But he responds with one single word. Well, if this is how this is going to go, I’ve got better things to do with my time.

  “Lillian, I think I’m going to head home. You don’t need to check Peanut. I’m sure he’s fine. If anything seems off, I’ll call you right away.”

  I take Peanut’s hand and turn to walk away, but Lillian stops me when she speaks.

  “Bethany, can you please give Angelo a ride to my home? I’ve got a full day and really don’t have time to visit right now.”

  I’m ready to tell her that I don’t have the time, but Angelo speaks up. “Principessa, you said your schedule was light and for me to come here. I would have met you tonight otherwise. You know that.”

  Damn Lillian. She arranged for all of this to happen. I want to kill her for putting me through having to see him once again. She knows how much I was hurt by his actions back in New York. Why would she do this to me when he clearly doesn’t want anything further to do with me?

  “I’m sorry, Angelo. I must have been looking at tomorrow's schedule when we talked earlier. I’ve got a full day today. Please, just let Bethany give you a ride to our home. I’ll let Linc know you are coming, and I’ll see you later tonight. I really am sorry for the mix-up.”

  Sure, she’s sorry, I think to myself. Lillian isn’t forgetful, and she doesn’t make mistakes when it comes to her practice. She is so organized that I’m sure she can recite her complete schedule for the next month without missing a beat.

  “Fine,” I say. “Come on, Angelo. We can give you a ride.”

  “Yay!” Peanut exclaims, running to Angelo, who immediately kneels to Peanut’s height and whisks him into his arms for a hug.

  “Let’s go, Ragazzino.”

  Angelo and Peanut are halfway down the hall when I turn to Lillian. She’s smiling as she watches the two of them hold hands. “Lillian, don’t think you’ve gotten away with this. We’ll discuss this later.”

  Lillian turns to look at me. She’s smiling just a little too much for my liking. “Bethany, just accept it and thank me later.” Her smug tone makes me want to hate her, but in reality, I want to kiss her for giving me this opportunity to hash this out with Angelo. I don’t know if I would have ever had the nerve to confront him.

  Angelo engages animatedly with Peanut during the car ride. He stops just momentarily to question where I’m taking him since we passed the road that leads to Lillian and Lincoln’s place. When I inform him that we are headed to my place, he smiles back at me. “Wipe that smile off your face, Angelo. We have things to discuss, and they won’t be pleasant, I assure you.”

  Now, I’m the one who is smiling inside. His concerned look almost makes me want to tell him not to worry, but I decide to keep that to myself. I want him to worry because honestly, I’m not sure if this will be a pleasant conversation.

  Angelo scans both ends of the road before turning his eyes on my driveway. His attention is focused on everything that surrounds him. When he exits the car, he stands at the front watching as I reach inside to get Peanut from his car seat. He doesn’t move until I’m right beside him, and then he walks just slightly behind me with his hand on my lower back. I stop and turn my head to glare at him. Instantly causing him to remove his hand. He shrugs and softly smiles at me.

  “Old habits, Tesoro Mio. I’m sorry.”

  Once inside, I tell Peanut to go play in his room and quickly make my way into my living room to queue up a movie for him on Netflix. I know my son well enough to know he’ll entertain himself for about ten minutes, but then he’ll want to watch the television.

  Angelo follows me to the family room, where I take a seat on the sofa and he slinks down in a chair opposite of me. “Why are you here, Angelo?”

  He thinks for a minute and then responds with a bullshit answer that he came to visit Lillian and catch up with her on how things have been going. I’m not stupid. This is not the typical behavior of someone in his line of work. There is always a motive for everything they do. I’ve seen enough Robert DeNiro movies to know better. Ugh, I want to kick myself for that thought, realizing I just compared a Hollywood movie to his real life.

  “Honestly, Angelo, tell me why you are really here. You could have had that conversation over the phone. I saw how you immediately changed behaviors the moment we pulled onto my street and headed up my drive. Spill right now or just leave. I don’t have time for this bullshit from you anymore.”

  Chapter 9

  ANGELO

  Bethany is right. She has my number and calls me on it right away. I’ve spent enough time with her as her bodyguard for her to recognize the mannerisms of someone attempting to protect them. Now, I just have to make a decision on
what my next move will be. Do I tell her that she is still in danger, or do I try to pull off the charade that I’m here just to catch up with Lillian?

  After letting her believe that she meant nothing to me back in New York, I think it’s time for the truth. She needs to know that I was full of shit back then, and that I’m here because I need to be. No, correct that. I want to be. She needs protection, but she has that already. I’m sure there are men watching out for her, but I want to be the one who protects her and Peanut. I want to be here with her, not because I should be, but because I want to be.

  “You’re right, Bethany. I’m not here just to visit with Lillian. I’m here because I need to be.”

  Her eyes widen in concern as she says, “Explain.” Her shoulders lift, and her back straightens. She knows. She’s just waiting for me to tell her she’s in danger.

  “There’s a loose end that got overlooked. Actually, he wasn’t overlooked. We just didn’t know about him until recently.”

  Bethany sucks in a deep breath. She’s doing her best to hide the fear I know she is feeling, so I do my best to ease some of it. “You’ve not been alone, Bethany. My father has had men watching over you while I’ve been home recuperating and wallowing in my misery.”

  Her whole demeanor changes when I use the word ‘misery.’ “What do you mean, wallowing in misery, Angelo?”

  This is it. I’m not going to get another shot at an opening to explain myself. So, I take it and let her know that the only reason I never answered her calls or returned her texts was because I felt guilty for everything that happened to her. That the day she showed up in my room at Lillian's, I wanted to apologize for my behavior and kiss the hell out of her, but once again, I let my guilt lead me, and instead, I was rude and distant. That ever since that day, I’ve been kicking myself for letting her and Peanut go. What I should have done was fight my feelings of despair and kept her close to me. Showed her how I really felt.