The Web of Loki

by Carla Reighard

  “Are you sure about that? What is the last thing you remember?”

  “I was sitting in the bar on Queen Freya’s ship, drinking some delicious concoction that Earth could never imitate, when I ended up as a snake trying to avoid you slicing me into a kabob.”

  “Hmm – is it possible that you were drugged? Trick the trickster and make him face his own demons?”

  “No, like I told you, I disguised myself as someone generic.”

  “Yeah, you told me that, but I remember Freya said those cuffs were supposed to prevent you from changing forms. You’re still wearing the cuffs.”

  Loki looked down at his wrists and grunted. “I thought Sigyn took these off when she helped me out of prison, but now that I think about it, she has the ability to make things turn invisible for a few hours. My wrists didn’t feel free from these things, but I thought it was just a lingering sensation.” He hit his forehead with his palm and laughed. “The trickster got tricked! She must have known I would try to leave her and followed me, pretending she couldn’t see me. The whole time I looked like Stein – but wait, why do I look like Loki now?”

  “I did wonder about that. If those wrist bands were supposed to prevent you from morphing, why did they allow you to stay in your Stein form?”

  “Maybe they didn’t. I remember wondering why Stein’s face had gone back to looking like he had been in a fight. We both had covered up our cuts and bruises after our fight so we looked identical, but when I saw him in his cell, his face was swollen and bruised. I didn’t have a mirror to look at my own face. Perhaps these cuffs make our last shape shifting abilities wear off.”

  “I guess that’s good for me because you won’t be fooling me anymore. I suspect we’re stuck together on this journey until the end.”

  Loki frowned, and Ingrid scolded, “Don’t you dare give me that face! It may be my imagination that created this hell hole, but it was your selfish behavior that used it on the story transporter. This is as much your fault as it is mine – probably more.”

  “I suppose that’s fair, but why did you have to make this place so awful? Never mind, I know it is because you have dark, awful thoughts about yourself which became living things in the virtual world. Zoey, or should I call you Ingrid, you aren’t as bad as you think.”

  “Really, then why did you have to give me a scar that everyone feared? I was treated like a leper in this village.” Ingrid pointed to her face. “You might as well call me Scar Face, because that is more fitting than my other names.”

  Loki chuckled, “I gave you that scar because I didn’t want Stein getting too close to you. I worried he may be able to remember the truth; the story transporter doesn’t always fool all the people hooked up to it. Earthlings are more gullible and easier to convince, but Stein is my brother. I needed him to think that you were scary so that he would avoid you. If he figured out Tuntre was a virtual world too soon, he could have stopped the portal from being created.”

  “I don’t know why Stein was ever attracted to me in the first place, but it seems the scar didn’t stop him from remembering me after all.”

  Loki and Ingrid kept walking through the maze of tunnels while they talked. Ingrid looked for the marks Hilde had made when they were in the cave before to see if she could use them to find a way out. She couldn’t help but think of Stein and how different he was from his brother. She may not have remembered everything she had shared with him when she was Zoey, but she remembered how selfless he was in Tuntre and the Beyond. Knowing what he gave up for his brother endeared him more to her heart than ever. Maybe he didn’t truly like her or think she was attractive as he said, but he was the rescuer of lost causes. Loki and she were the biggest lost causes in Stein’s life.

  “I know why Stein was attracted to you.” Loki’s words interrupted Ingrid’s ponderings. “You are pretty in an unconventional way. If I hadn’t needed to use you to get to Valhalla, I would have made the moves on you.”

  “You’re married! What a perv.”

  “Okay, so that too probably stopped me. I told you, I don’t deserve happiness – but you do.”

  “Why do I deserve it but you don’t?”

  “I killed my parents. When Stein blamed me for it, I felt like I should have died there.”

  Ingrid realized that was what Stein had referred to back on Freya’s ship. She almost felt sorry for Loki, even though seconds earlier she thought he was a creep.

  She decided to delve into his emotional baggage, even though she was still too tired for it.

  “What happened to your parents?”

  “We were taking a road trip, and my parents asked me to drive while they got a little sleep. Stein was ten, and I was twenty. Dad slept in the passenger’s seat, and Mom slept next to Stein, behind Dad on the same side. Stein was playing on his handheld electronic game, and I began teasing him, but I can’t remember what about. In the split second I looked away from the road, the car in front of us stopped. I slammed on the breaks in a panic and caused our car to flip on its side – Mom and Dad’s side of the car. They died almost instantly, Stein and I were injured but we didn’t have to stay in the hospital too long. When Stein found out about our parents, he cried and blamed me since I was driving.”

  A long silence lingered. Ingrid knew why Stein would have lashed out the way he did, but she also knew it wasn’t really Loki’s fault. Accidents happen. Ten-year-olds don’t know how to deal with that kind of pain – actually, who does? Stein’s response was probably a knee-jerk reaction to help him sort through the mess of emotions.

  “Stein knows it wasn’t your fault. Why do you think he spends so much time trying to keep you out of trouble? He was only ten, and he was hurting when he accused you. When we lose someone we love, we get mad, we blame, but we eventually move on. That is what he tried to do, but you obviously let it define you.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” Loki frowned at Ingrid.

  “You play dangerous games that cost people their lives. It’s like you’re proving to everyone you really did kill your parents. You try to give them reasons to hate you so you can continue to be the jerk that lets everyone down. You weren’t the reason your parents died. It was an accident. You could be someone Stein is proud of if you would start acting responsibly. I’m sure you’ve heard all this before, but perhaps this virtual world has some of your self-deprecating feelings in it. Maybe it’s turning some of your emotions into monsters too.”

  “Wow! You have it all figured out, don’t you? I don’t think it is wise for people who have sticks poking out of their eyes to point out the small sliver in someone else’s eye. Take care of your own stick before you go around pointing at my slivers.” Loki was livid.

  “You have more than slivers sticking out, but despite that fact, I’m trying to overcome my warped perceptions. I know I’m flawed and that my inability to cope with my flaws in a healthy manner has caused this mess. Let’s not forget my emotional disabilities wouldn’t have become dangerous monsters if it wasn’t for you. We’re both to blame for being stuck in Tuntre, but only I’m trying to reverse this world before I’m stuck in it permanently. Okay, let’s change the subject. You have cars on Asgard?”

  Loki showed a shocked expression and then smirked at Ingrid. “You’re not very smooth at changing subjects, but yes, we have cars. Our worlds are similar.”

  “It just seems that since you can fly around in spaceships, you would have found better ways to move around on your planet. What else do you have that is similar?”

  “Pretty much everything you have, we have movies, ice cream, schools, and books. Since our technology is more advanced, all these things are similar to Earth’s – but better. Our cars float so they don’t need tires, and they run on energy, not gasoline. We still have traffic, but we move much faster in our cars.”

  “Speaking of energy, I’m about out of it. This cave does have a water source and, if the furs are still here, a place to rest.”

  As if the cave was
listening to their conversation, Ingrid heard the sound of water dripping nearby. They walked a few steps more and came to the wonderful, refreshing place Bjørn had found previously. Ingrid had her sack with her and she realized that it carried more than one canteen. She thought to herself, How convenient. Did someone know Loki would be here?

  They filled up their containers and then took small sips of water to avoid getting sick from drinking too quickly.

  “If I remember correctly, the furs will be just down this way.” Ingrid led Loki to the room where they left behind the comfortable bedding. At least it was comfortable compared to what her friends had used in the forest – and what Loki and Ingrid would have to experience once they left the cave.

  “Now that you mention it, I am a little tired. Is there something about this cave, or have we just been awake that long?”

  “We thought that time was different in here than outside, but this is a virtual world, so who knows? Either way, we need to be strong before we face my next mind beast.”

  “Don’t remind me.” Loki yawned and plopped down in the same place she remembered Stein resting.

  The men had similar eyes, but that was where it ended. Yet, Ingrid couldn’t help but recall the feelings that she had experienced when looking at the back of Stein after he had told her that he thought they were more than friends in his memories. That was when they had almost kissed. Ingrid felt her face get warm as it had done back then. She wanted to believe that Stein really liked her, but now that she remembered Zoey, her real identity, she had a lot of doubts to overcome.

  Chapter 23

  “Wake up!” Loki was yelling into Ingrid’s face.

  “What’s wrong? Are we in danger?”

  “No, I just want to get a move on. The sooner we finish this test, the quicker I can get back to Valhalla.”

  “Why did you have to shout so loud? You sounded like you were hurt or something.”

  “I tried the gentle approach but I couldn’t budge you. Wow, you sleep deeply! Besides, I am in danger of being bored to death if I don’t get the heck out of here.”

  Ingrid yawned and tried to compose herself. A part of her wanted to strangle Loki, but after her initial punch in his nose, the need to damage him had lessened.

  “I’m not necessarily a morning person, which means waking me up so abruptly could have gotten you killed in another place. Don’t do that again!”

  “I’m pretty sure it isn’t morning,” Loki winked.

  “You’re incorrigible!”

  “I’d offer you coffee, princess, but we seem to be all out. Now, if you would so kindly get up so that we can continue this nightmare, I’d be indebted to you.” Loki used his most sarcastic tone.

  Ingrid moaned as she got her body to move in a vertical direction. She was sore from all the physical activity, and she was tired because she hadn’t had an adequate amount of sleep since before she entered the Beyond for the first time.

  “Now that I’m standing, I think we go this way. Hilde had marked the walls, and I know when we find the first one she drew on, we’ll be heading in the correct direction.”

  “Hilde? Oh, yeah, she’s Harlee. Sorry, my mind is still in reality. Go ahead and lead the way.”

  The two walked slowly around the jagged stalagmites protruding from the ground. Ingrid wondered how her friends and she had managed not to be impaled by one of them when they had run away from the enormous snake. After what seemed like hours, but was probably only minutes, a white X appeared on the cave wall.

  “Look!” Ingrid pointed to the first sign that they were going the correct direction.

  “Finally! Does this mean we are finding our way out of this blasted cave?”

  “Yes, and then we get to enter the nasty forest which smells like dead animals and makes you feel gloomy.”

  “Great! I don’t feel too perky at the moment so I can’t imagine how delightful I’ll be out there,” Loki replied sarcastically.

  “So maybe we should prepare ourselves now before we run into any more monsters. I know it will take mental strength, more than physical, to combat the creatures that want to kill us. It’s your turn to start thinking positively.”

  Loki rolled his eyes at her, but hand gestured for her to continue leading the way. They kept following the white marks on the cave walls while they spoke, but Loki wasn’t too happy; he made lots of grunts and heavy sighs.

  “What do you want me to think about – puppy dogs and chocolate cake?”

  Ingrid giggled, “When Stein told me to think more positively, I mentioned rainbows and unicorns. What a pair of traveling companions we are. I will say though, a cute puppy or piece of chocolate cake right now would make me smile. See,” she showed Loki her face, “I’m smiling just talking about it.”

  Loki grunted again, “Goody for you, but I don’t feel like smiling. Nothing about this is fun. I want my comfortable bed back in Asgard with a pretty girl by my side.”

  “Stop acting like a petulant child. You’re a grown man, and this act is getting old. You want me to hate you, but I can’t any more. You told me your secrets, and now I’m going to make it my mission to get you to see the light.”

  “What light is that?”

  “That you’re just as worthy of love as I am. I’m trying to realize that whatever life tosses at me, I can’t let that dictate my fate. We can’t always control what happens to us, but we can control how we react. Allowing your parents’ death to ruin your life is just an excuse for bad behavior. Deep in your heart, you know it was out of your hands and that you should forgive yourself.”

  “Easy for you to say when you’re greatest failure was not getting on the cheerleading squad. There is a huge difference between the two tragedies.” He air quoted the word “tragedies”.

  Ingrid agreed with Loki and realized another reason she had to move past her imperfections; perspective is the biggest part of why she reacted the way she did, and she needed to reassess what was truly important.

  After a long silence full of contemplation, Ingrid spoke. “You’re right, my disappointments are nothing compared to yours. All this time, I was so wrapped up in my own pain that I couldn’t see five or ten years down the road. It won’t matter when I’m thirty whether I was a cheerleader or a bookworm. It will only matter the person I become. That being said, is it possible that your grief could have been worse? Stein could have died in that wreck. You could have been paralyzed. You are looking at ten years past the accident, and you should be able to see that.”

  Loki remained silent, and Ingrid had hoped that she was getting through to him. Life was valuable, and though he seemed to be on a self-destructive mission, he had to be thankful he and Stein were alive and past that horrific day. She had to see that even though her trials were more recent, she will someday be Loki’s age and not care about a high school play or that Harlee had friends besides her. She won’t be in love with Brian, and who knows, she may even find that Stein was her true love instead.

  Step by step, the journey made them both grumpier. They didn’t say much to each other, but they weren’t helping each other feel any better either. Ingrid kept fighting the urge to give up and she had no clue what inner demons Loki was fighting. She thought perhaps he was just brooding over missing out on a make-out session with another woman while he pretended to be someone else. His poor wife had to be so stupid for loving him.

  Hilde’s marks were far and few between, but when Ingrid’s lamp light seemed brighter as the surroundings grew darker, she knew they were approaching the forest; even though caves are normally darker than the outside, this one’s walls seemed to reflect the light of her torch and kept the blackness at bay. Ingrid already felt the dread weigh down heavily as she stepped into the Beyond.

  Ingrid said cynically, “We made it. Here’s the glorious and depressing Beyond. Just a few million more miles and we’ll be back at Tuntre.”

  “Fantastic! I think I’m going to give up now!” Loki declared.

  “F
ine, be a quitter, but I have to keep trekking on, and I suspect that I will face a nasty and rather large spider along the way. Oh yeah, and I’ll probably get to meet an enormous wolf, which is every wimpy girl’s dream.” Ingrid thought she sounded a little like Hilde, but she couldn’t help the urge.

  “Really? A spider and wolf?”

  “Yes, we had to fight those things on our first trip in the Beyond. I suspect the wolf represents my self-doubts and the spider is my self-loathing, or vice versa. Then there is the Web, which is my fear of failure. Yeah, I’m a bundle of laughs. I bet you’re glad you used me to get to Valhalla.”

  “Since you have this all figured out, why am I here?”

  Ingrid rolled her eyes. “We’ve already discussed that. The spider and wolf will represent different things to you, but you need to defeat them just as much as I do. I’m sure you’ll help me kill them, won’t you?”

  Loki shrugged, “If I feel like it, then maybe. At least it will break up the monotony of this place. Everything looks the same, and it smells awful.”

  They walked and chopped away at the black threads; Ingrid gave Loki her sword and she used her axe. The path wasn’t cleared, even though her friends had already cut away one, but Ingrid knew the web grew daily. She realized the way they had made before was probably grown over already or they were going a different direction. She battled between frustration, fatigue, and the desire to quit, but she was determined to push forward no matter what.

  A strange screeching noise sounded nearby, and Ingrid recognized it immediately. She and Loki turned to face the huge spider that had already terrorized her and her friends twice. Weapon in hand, she sliced at the air the way she remembered seeing Hilde do as she tried to scare off the thing. Loki didn’t give it a second thought, and he was stabbing away at the hairy legs with vigor. The thing lunged at Ingrid and, with its pincers, it managed to cut a chunk out of her arm.

  She yowled in pain, and Loki asked between grunts, “Are you alright?”