The Web of Loki

by Carla Reighard

  Ingrid screamed from anger and determination, “Yes!” Then she used her uninjured arm to continue slicing away at the spider. She cussed at it a few times, but she was losing a lot of blood and felt dizzy.

  Through her haze, it dawned on her that she needed to approach the thing with her mental power more than her brute strength – it was obvious that she would lose in a battle of might against the monster.

  She forgot Loki was even there and began shouting at the spider. “This may be a virtual world, but your pincers feel as real as anything I’ve ever experienced. So what are you, my fear of failure or maybe my doubts? I do have a healthy habit of self-hatred, and you’re nasty enough to be that too.”

  The spider pounced towards her, and Ingrid barely dodged it. The temptation to flee was strong. She knew that was the smart thing to do and the best way to survive, but she reminded herself this was a creature of her own imagination.

  She continued to scream at the beast like it could understand her. “Stop, you creepy, eight-legged jerk! You aren’t going to win. I may not be able to kill you with my weapons, but I can talk you to death! Do you think I’m a loser? Huh? Maybe I am a weak, pathetic, wimpy, and ugly loser! Guess what? I’m strong on the inside, and that is more important. I’m not going to cower away from you any longer. I am worthwhile because I’m me, and no one else can be me as great as I can.”

  She knew she sounded ridiculous, but the release of built up emotions made her feel empowered. Also, her loud rantings distracted the spider and gave Loki a chance to hack off one of its legs. Ingrid wasn’t paying attention to the injured leg as she raved on about her value and how she was going to defeat the monster within. The spider was wounded and confused by both the noise and its own agony so Loki was able to chop off another one of the hairy legs. Soon, the spider was shrinking into nothing while Ingrid fainted onto the ground.

  Chapter 24

  Ingrid woke up with her head propped up onto Loki’s lap. He was looking down at her with his ice blue eyes, and she felt her heart flutter.

  “Stein, what are you doing here?” She closed her eyes.

  “It’s Loki, or at least I think I look like him.”

  She opened her eyes again, and focused on his face and hair. “Oh yeah, it is you.”

  “Well, don’t be so disappointed; I did save your life. You lost a lot of blood, and I had to use my shirt to stop the bleeding.”

  “How long have I been out?”

  “I’m not sure, but I dozed off for a little while, so maybe an hour or so.”

  Ingrid sat up and felt the throb of pain in her arm, but she didn’t want to stay in that position. Loki looked more like Stein the longer their journey progressed and, with his shirt off, she found herself imagining Stein was shirtless from the waist up. Her insides fluttered at the thought, and she didn’t want to think about such things around Loki.

  “I think I’m ready to face the next beast. The sooner I kill it, the quicker we end this nightmare.”

  Loki stood up near Ingrid and furrowed his brows. “You don’t look ready to kill a fly. Maybe we should find a place to make camp, and I can get us something to eat. I understand your desire to hurry and leave this paradise. Believe me, I want to be out of here just as much as you do, but if you die, I’m pretty sure I’ll be stuck here forever.”

  “Were you actually worried about me?”

  “Maybe, and maybe not; you’ll never know.” Loki clearly had worried about her, but he tried to keep up his selfish persona. “Anyway, I’m not going to traipse around these woods while carrying you so you better rest, just in case.”

  “Okay, I’m too tired to argue with you.” Ingrid took in a huge breath and said, “I never hunted before, but Stein and Bjørn were able to catch a rabbit in this awful forest. Have you seen any small animals scampering about? I’m so hungry.”

  “No, but I think we have something better.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I found this dried meat in your sack, and it tastes really good with zero effort. There are also some rolls, but I didn’t eat any of those. I waited for you.”

  Ingrid looked inside her satchel and realized it held all the provisions she started her journey with when she left Tuntre the first time. She handed Loki some bread and dried meat, and she took some for herself. They ate it quickly, and then found a small clearing where they could sleep for a few hours.

  Even though the bleeding had stopped, Ingrid knew her arm would need to be cleaned so it wouldn’t get infected and it also seemed to be a deep enough cut that it may need to be stitched. Despite the virtual world not being technically real, Ingrid imagined the wound wouldn’t go away without treatment while she stayed here. But they were in the middle of a grotesque forest and there wasn’t anything to clean the wound or sew it together so Loki’s shirt was going to have to be a temporary bandage until the nightmare or her life ended.

  They both had barely closed their eyes when they heard a low growl off in the distance. The wolf slowly approached Ingrid and Loki. They stood up with weapons ready, but neither wanted to make the first move. The beast stalked them as prey while it salivated onto the ground. As before, Ingrid reminded herself this was a mental creation, not physical. She just needed to find the courage to stay and fight, rather than flee, in order to defeat her inner enemies.

  “I can do this. Remember, this isn’t a real wolf. This is your doubts.” Ingrid spoke out loud, but more to herself than Loki.

  “No, maybe this big dog represents my inability to forgive myself.” Loki teased nervously.

  Ingrid was shocked that Loki was willing to admit that out loud, or maybe he was just mocking her earlier accusations of him. Either way, they both had mental adversaries they needed to defeat.

  The wolf got closer. Ingrid knew she wasn’t skilled in fighting, but then an animal created from doubt wasn’t going to act like a real gigantic beast would. She began to swipe at the beast’s muzzle which protruded enough to be closest to her. Loki tried to flank its side. The wolf quickly turned its head and caught Loki off guard as it chomped down on his arm. Loki yelped in pain, but it was obvious Loki wasn’t going to let that stop him. He was bleeding too much, but Ingrid inwardly hoped that his desire to fight, instead of quit, showed that he still cared about life. He obviously cared about her life too since he kept going despite his wound.

  Now that both of them were only able to fight the ferocious creature with one arm, Ingrid knew she needed to use the same strategy she had used on the spider.

  “You can’t stop me you nasty beast! Maybe I’m not the best athlete, and I’m definitely not the strongest, but I’m determined to never give up!” Tears streamed down Ingrid’s face as she continued to fight her mental battles and the outward ones.

  Loki yelled, “I’m never going to be perfect, but I do care about my life! My parent’s death wasn’t my fault, you f -”

  Ingrid tuned out the expletives that spewed out of Loki’s mouth like a fountain. His eyes watered too while he seemed to be dealing with his own mental enemies. He swung his blade at the wolf, but their blades never made contact with the beast. Ingrid and Loki’s erratic behavior confused the animal enough to stop him from attacking them more.

  Suddenly, the wolf began to whimper and, right before their eyes, the creature shrank in size and cowered with its tail between its legs. It looked like an ordinary pet as it whined. Ingrid then saw its ice blue eyes and her heart skipped a beat. Before she had time to figure out if it was the dog from the village or even Stein, the wolf disappeared.

  “Was that my brother?” Loki looked as shocked as Ingrid felt.

  “Why would he be here?”

  Loki fell to the ground as the bleeding continued. He spoke weakly. “Maybe it is all part of that thing you said about us fighting our inner enemies. There was a part of me who always resented Stein because I had to take care of him after my parent’s deaths. That only made me feel worse about myself because what kind of brother wishes h
is brother had died instead of his parents?” The tears began to flow freely from Loki’s eyes as he continued, “I want to forgive myself. I want to become a better man. It’s just that I’ve been acting like an irresponsible boy for so long, I don’t know how to be a man.”

  Ingrid got to the ground to see if she could staunch the blood flowing out of Loki’s arm. There was too much; he was losing more than he should. Ingrid began to panic. She tore off the lower half of her pants to tie around Loki’s injury.

  His eyes began to close, and Ingrid spoke to him. “Wake up. You can’t fall asleep now. We defeated all of the monsters except the Web.”

  “I feel so tired. If I don’t make it, please tell Stein that I love him. Tell him I’m sorry for being so –”, but he never finished what he was going to say.

  Ingrid checked for his pulse and put her hand over his nose to see if he was breathing.

  She screamed, “Noooo!”

  There was a time when she blamed him for so much, but once she fought alongside him and realized they both had inner demons to defeat, she felt like they were kindred spirits. She couldn’t deal with his death. Then she remembered something she had forgotten about her life as Zoey – her parents had died in a car accident, and she was being raised by her grandparents. No wonder she understood Loki. She had blamed herself for their deaths too, because they were driving to go see her in the school play. It was a snowy night, with lots of ice on the road, and another car lost control and hit them.

  She replayed the words she told Loki, about it being an accident and not his fault, as his body began to cool in her arms. She wept harder than she had ever cried before, and she realized that she wasn’t going to blame herself any longer.

  The Web began to shrink as a small glimmer of light shown through the trees. Ingrid looked around her and noticed that the Beyond was beautiful, with various shades of green and brown, once the Web was gone. Ingrid felt hopeful and sad at once. Like magic, Loki’s body evaporated before her eyes.

  She was all alone.

  She felt the gloom return, and as well as a small portion of the Web, but then she yelled at herself.

  “Stop it, Zoey! You got yourself into this, and you will get yourself out!”

  The sun uncovered again, and she began to walk the direction she somehow knew would lead her back to Tuntre and, hopefully, back to her own home. She wasn’t going to let grief for Loki prevent her from finishing this journey. She tucked the worry of how she was going to tell Stein about his brother in the back of her mind, along with the hope she would see Stein again.

  In a matter of minutes, she saw the clearing that led to the village. There, the World Tree stood erect above all the other structures in Tuntre. The black tendrils were gone, revealing a quaint place that looked like a ghost town without any of its people. She went straight toward the Yggdrasil and tried to find the door to the inside of the tree where all the people were hooked up to the story transporter. There was no handle to grab onto. Was she too late? Was she stuck in the story forever?

  The warmth of the sun kept the chill of the winter air from freezing Ingrid to the bone, but she was at a loss for what to do. She felt so tired. She noticed that her arm began to bleed again, and she knew that she had to find a way to repair it before she lost more blood, but her energy was depleted.

  “Am I going to die? I need to –”, but before she could complete the sentence, she fell down on the ground next to the World Tree.

  Chapter 25

  Ingrid woke up in Zoey’s bedroom – her bedroom. All the walls and furniture seemed almost like they were transparent or not completely real. Was she in a dream? Was she dead? She didn’t remember where she had been before, but she became introspective. She thought back on the various times she flubbed up in her short high school experience. Her inner dialogues came out loud and clear as the moments she was disillusioned replayed. Ingrid went to the desk in the corner; on top of it was a purple sheet of paper with a strange poem Zoey must have written before her world went haywire.

  I hate the face in the mirror.

  You’ll never hear me say out loud

  I’m good enough.

  I know in my heart that

  my failures define my worth

  and

  being successful will make me happy.

  I refuse to believe that

  there is hope.

  I’m ashamed of myself.

  No longer can I say that

  I am worth fighting for.

  Ingrid pondered over the words and realized they didn’t ring true for her anymore. Something had changed inside her, and she knew that she felt the opposite of what she had just read. She decided to read the poem backward and noticed that it reflected her new outlook when read in reverse. Reverse the curse, she thought to herself. So Ingrid decided to rewrite the poem in reverse.

  I am worth fighting for.

  No longer can I say that

  I’m ashamed of myself.

  There is hope.

  I refuse to believe that

  being successful will make me happy

  and

  my failures define my worth.

  I know in my heart that

  I’m good enough.

  You’ll never hear me say out loud

  I hate the face in the mirror.

  As soon as Ingrid wrote down the words, she woke up in a chair with colorful wires connected to her. It took her a moment to realize where she was, but then she knew that Ingrid no longer existed. She was Zoey. Her jeans and t-shirt were the ones she was wearing just before Loki had forced her into Tuntre. The room was no longer filled with slimy black thread, and the ladder to her friends was clear of the Web.

  Zoey detached the wires as she remembered Harlee had done when she had first woken up from the story transporter. She stood up gingerly because her legs were a little wobbly from lack of use. She wished she had a mirror to see if she still had the scar on her face, but then she thought, It doesn’t matter, because I’m pretty on the inside.

  She climbed to the hatch in the ceiling, but it was locked, so she pounded on it.

  Zoey yelled, “I’m free! I reversed the curse! Someone let me in!”

  The door opened, and there looking down on her were the gorgeous blue eyes she longed to see again.

  “Zoey!” He pulled her up through the hole like she was a feather, and wrapped her into a huge bear hug.

  “I’ve been worried about you since Loki returned from the virtual world unexpectedly.”

  “Returned? Is Loki alive?”

  “Yes, dare I ask why you’re surprised?”

  “He died in my arms from a wolf bite.” Zoey felt tears threatening to escape, because after all that she had gone through with Loki, it pained her to see him dead. The tears came from remembrance of the pain and happiness that he was alive.

  “Oh, that. Well, he explained what happened, so yeah, he’s alive.”

  “Why was he in Tuntre with me?”

  “When Freya’s people had discovered that my brother was out of prison, they realized he didn’t know that he wasn’t able to disguise himself. They played along with his ruse to capture him again, and then tricked him into drinking something that put him in an unconscious state. They hooked him up to the virtual machine that you were connected to so he could get a taste of what he had put us through.”

  “I thought the virtual world was starting to become real. Why is he still alive?”

  “I know he was awful to you, but for my sake, please don’t be so upset by the fact that he is still breathing oxygen.”

  “That’s not what I mean-”

  “I know, I’m just teasing you. Even though Loki put you through hell, I honestly didn’t believe you wanted him dead. As I said before, the virtual world isn’t real and he didn’t really die. True, people who stay in there too long can become trapped, but he wasn’t actually in there that long. You did make the black tendrils real, which our scientists are still trying to figure o
ut, but somehow, between your desire to see Loki live and your ability to conquer your own demons, Loki was woken up from the virtual world earlier than you.”

  Stein looked over Zoey and stared at her face for a while. She then felt her face, but it seemed smooth. He answered her unspoken question. “The scar is gone, but you are beautiful with or without it.”

  “I guess that stupid scar became the least of my problems once I realized what created all the terror in Tuntre. I’m not going to forget the lessons I learned over this ordeal, EVER! I bet Loki won’t either because, besides dying in my arms, he had to face a few monsters before he figured out that he was creating the beasts too. We actually helped each other. When I opened his eyes to the truth, I opened up my own too. We both needed saving, and we both needed to come to grips with a few things.”

  Stein’s eyes welled up with tears, and he whispered, “Thank you for saving my brother.” He wiped his eyes dry and continued. “His life may not have been in danger in the virtual world, but it was in the real world. He took so many risks and pushed away those who loved him most. I feel like my real brother has finally returned and we can start repairing our damaged relationship because of you.”

  “As I said, we helped each other. Sometimes a person has to go through the worst experiences to grow and come out stronger.”

  Before the two could say any more to each other, Harlee came running into the room.

  “Zoe, you’re ok! Yay!” She hugged Zoey, and memories of their friendship came back quickly. Zoey had been so caught up in her failures that she had forgotten that she had a successful friendship with Harlee.

  Brian showed up shortly after and gave Zoey a nudge with his shoulder, bumping into hers. “Hey, glad you didn’t die.”

  “Wow Bri, don’t get too mushy on us,” Harlee laughed.

  He wiped some liquid from his eyes, and Zoey suspected that he was probably more relieved than he let on. Brian looked at Zoey and said, “Ok, so I may be backward at this, but as I told you before, you’re like a sister to me. I don’t think I could have handled losing you. There, I admitted my feelings; now can we move on?”