1 To Have His Cake (and Eat It Too) ~ Mr. Darcy's Tale

by P. O. Dixon

  Upon reflection, Elizabeth concluded that her birthright as a gentleman’s daughter was what held her Ladyship’s interest. Lady Catherine inundated her with questions of her family, her former life in Hertfordshire, and her accomplishments. When the Lady condescended to offer her condolences to Elizabeth on the death of her father in attempting to recover her fallen sister, Elizabeth had about reached the limit of her endurance. To make matters even worse, Lady Catherine said it was she who had encouraged Mr. Collins to descend immediately upon Longbourn to assume his rightful place upon the death of her father; but it had been his late wife who had impertinently intervened to allow the Bennet family the full four weeks to leave.

  Elizabeth grew so incensed that she stood and walked across the room, seemingly to admire Lady Catherine’s caged birds, but in reality, to calm herself before she said something she might regret. Lady Catherine then directed her attention towards Darcy.

  “I find it unfathomable that you have engaged such an attractive young lady as Georgiana’s companion,” she opined, as if Elizabeth had left the room.

  “Lady Catherine, Georgiana is very happy to have Miss Elizabeth as her companion. If I might add, she has been an excellent influence upon my sister.”

  “I find that hard to imagine as she is practically a child herself.” Directing her attention towards Elizabeth once again, Lady Catherine asked, “Pray, what is your age?”

  Elizabeth answered, a bit of testiness evident in her voice, “With a younger sister already married, your Ladyship can hardly expect me to own it.”

  Taken aback, Lady Catherine exclaimed, “Why, I never! Darcy, is this what you consider a good influence on Georgiana?”

  Completely ignoring her question, Darcy rose from his seat and went to refill his drink.

  Lady Catherine returned her focus upon Elizabeth. After a moment, she said, “Come, Miss Elizabeth, and play something for us.”

  “No, your Ladyship, I beg of you,” Elizabeth said. She had advised the great Lady earlier that her skills were not quite adequate, but Lady Catherine had cast off her claims by suggesting that she would not play at all amiss if she practised more and could have the advantage of a London master.

  “I must have you play. Music is my delight. If I had ever learnt, I should have been a great proficient, as would Anne, had her health have allowed her to apply.”

  “Your Ladyship, when I say I play poorly, I do not mean to…” Elizabeth continued in vain before being interrupted once again.

  “Nonsense, you must play for us at once. I demand it,” Lady Catherine insisted, while assuming a regal stance.

  Finally, Georgiana stood up and raced to Elizabeth’s side, “Come, Elizabeth. I will join you.”

  The two young women sat down before the pianoforte to begin playing. Georgiana whispered, “Forgive my aunt’s rudeness, Elizabeth. Let us sit here and play. With any luck, she will leave us be for the rest of the evening. What say you?”

  “Thank you for rescuing me, Georgiana. How shall I ever repay you?” Elizabeth teased.

  ~ ~ ~

  Over the next few days, Elizabeth observed Darcy as he interacted with his presumed intended. She was not at all impressed. He seemed as indifferent towards Anne as he was towards any other woman of his acquaintance. She rarely saw the exchange of more than one to two sentences between them. As at Pemberley, he tucked himself away in the study throughout each day, attending to Lady Catherine’s estate, and he only made himself available during dinner. Elizabeth noted that Lady Catherine spoke at length of Darcy and Anne’s pending engagement with complete certainty. Neither the gentleman, nor the young woman said anything to deny her.

  Elizabeth resolved not to think of the temperamental Mr. Darcy. She almost hoped that he would find himself married to Anne de Bourgh. Anne was frosty and dispassionate, not particularly attractive, and she rarely spoke. It would serve him right.

  Elizabeth wished to enjoy all that she could during her stay at Rosings Park. Despite the unpleasantness of the haughty and domineering Lady Catherine, the grounds of Rosings Park were among the most magnificent she had ever seen. She went out early each morning for a solitary walk along the many paths. After four days of rambling along the paths with not another soul in sight, it caught Elizabeth by surprise when she spotted Darcy just ahead on his horse, seemingly awaiting her approach.

  Darcy slid smoothly from his mount and asked Elizabeth to join him. Before she could object, he took her hand. He led her deep into a secluded wooded area.

  “Are you sure you know what you are about, sir? What do you suppose your betrothed, Miss Anne de Bourgh, might think of this little adventure?” Elizabeth asked impertinently.

  “I will pretend you did not just say that, young lady.”

  “Where are you taking me, sir?” she asked defiantly.

  “Do not be uneasy.”

  Soon they came upon a clear landing, and Elizabeth spotted a magnificent temple, far grander than the one at Pemberley, high up on a hill overlooking splendid gardens. Its beauty was wonderfully breathtaking. She started walking towards the temple of her own volition.

  “Sir, it is beautiful. What do you know of its history?”

  Darcy secured Maximus and then walked towards Elizabeth to offer her his arm. As he led her to the structure, the skies burst open, prompting the two to race up the steep hill, hand in hand, to avoid the sudden downpour. By the time of their arrival to take shelter, the cold drenching rain had wet Elizabeth through and through. Darcy remained perfectly dry under his greatcoat. He quickly removed his coat and approached Elizabeth, her body shivering, to wrap it around her.

  The two stood directly before one another, as close as two people could stand without touching, their eyes captured by one another’s. Darcy was fully aware that he was tempting fate, but he could not help it. It was driving him to distraction to be so near to her and yet, unable to touch her since Twelfth Night. He stood so close while clutching the greatcoat around her body, attempting to keep her warm. His eyes moved from her slightly parted lips to her amazingly dark eyes to her lips again. Her eyes darted between his intensely alluring eyes and his enticing lips. He seemed drawn to her, and he could not escape the pull.

  The gusty winds whipping through the open spaces of the temple, the steadily pouring rain and the occasional roar of thunder heightened her sense of susceptibility. This man... so captivating... so handsome... so physically attractive... who relentlessly invaded her dreams each night, now stood before her, evoking bewildering, yet splendid, sensations.

  His incredibly soft lips are much too close to mine. Refusing to allow her heart to rule her mind, her mind firmly set upon resisting, Elizabeth scarcely allowed a hint of their lips touching before she stepped back from him. Darcy gazed at her intensely whilst seemingly effortlessly removing his cravat. Tenderly, he dabbed the raindrops from her face, slowly, seductively, enticing her to accept him, until Elizabeth broke all contact and reached for his neckcloth, offering to do it herself.

  The two moved several feet apart.

  Darcy broke the silence. “Forgive me... for bringing you here, Miss Elizabeth. I shall not absolve myself if you become ill.”

  “Do not worry, Mr. Darcy. As I was out walking before you joined me, I was bound to run into this storm, at any rate. Besides, I suffered downpours on many other occasions with no ill effects,” she said as she continued to wring her hair with his cravat, all the while driving Darcy to distraction. She continued, “I fear this rain will not end soon. Before too long, everyone will miss us.”

  “Let us wait until it eases up a bit. Then, I will take you back to the manor house on Maximus. If we follow that path, we will be there in no time at all,” he said as he pointed it out to her.

  “Sir, it would hardly be proper for me to ride with you on your horse,” Elizabeth protested.

  “We have shared a mount before,” he quipped, genuinely amused by her modesty.

  “This is hardly the same thing, Mr. Darcy.�
��

  “No, at that time, I was teaching you to ride. This time, I am rescuing a damsel in distress.”

  Elizabeth harrumphed, “Forever the true gentleman.”

  Darcy shrugged off her impertinence. “I try. Now, come sit with me and allow me to keep you warm while we wait out the storm.”

  In light of her persistent reluctance, he said, “Come now, Miss Elizabeth. Let me take care of you. You know that you are freezing.”

  “On the contrary, I am rather warm,” she lied, for she was in truth quite chilled.

  “I know you will be much warmer here beside me.” He softened his tone. “Sit with me, and I will share the history of the temple with you while we wait.”

  “I am perfectly capable of hearing the tale from over here,” she stated as she found a relatively dry spot to sit. She stated, “And now you may begin.”

  Soon, the rain began to ease up. Without entreaty, Darcy swept Elizabeth effortlessly into his arms.

  “Put me down this instance, Mr. Darcy,” she weakly protested. What he wanted most was to impart a tender kiss; he did not. Instead, he carried her to his horse and sat her in his saddle. He mounted the horse as well and then placed his hand firmly on Elizabeth’s stomach, pulling her tightly into his lap, and they set off on the path towards the manor house.

  The ride was brief, though Elizabeth hardly noticed, for her mind was otherwise engaged. How am I to keep up my resolve and my equanimity if we are to share moments like this? What is it about this ride that elicits such yearnings? She recalled the first time as being exhilarating, but this time, she simply lacked the words to describe what she felt.

  When they entered the manor house, Darcy stealthily guided Elizabeth through the servants’ entrance and along a back stairway to her room, arriving completely undetected. He parted with her at her door and made way to his own room.

  ~ ~ ~

  Elizabeth did not join the family for breakfast, causing Darcy to become quite concerned. He asked Georgiana to check on her. Upon entering Elizabeth’s room and finding her sitting in front of the fireplace, dressed in a warm robe and drinking hot tea, Georgiana rushed to her side to see what was the matter.

  “Elizabeth, when you did not come down for breakfast, everyone worried. Are you feeling ill?”

  “No, Georgiana, I think I will be just fine.” Elizabeth confessed, “I was caught in a huge downpour this morning, and I decided to use that as a perfect excuse to stay here in my room for a few days, thereby avoiding Lady Catherine.” She reached for her friend’s hand. “Now Georgiana, you must keep my secret,” she urged.

  “I will go along with this little scheme only if I may stay with you, to help nurse you back to health.”

  “I should like that very much,” said Elizabeth.

  Georgiana continued, “And you must allow me to tell my brother, so that he will not worry.”

  Elizabeth vehemently protested, “No, absolutely not. Let him worry.”

  Easily surmising that Elizabeth was reacting to some lapse on her brother’s part, Georgiana reluctantly agreed. The two young women enjoyed the next two days apart from the company of Lady Catherine and by default, Darcy, with Georgiana only putting in an appearance during meals.

  Had Georgiana known how deeply the thought of Elizabeth’s being ill would upset her brother, she likely would not have agreed to Elizabeth’s scheme. She could very well understand why Elizabeth would want to limit contact with her aunt. Who among their party did not wish to avoid Lady Catherine? Even so, why should Fitzwilliam suffer? What did he do this time?

  By then, both Darcy and Elizabeth were enigmas to Georgiana. She first became aware of her brother’s love for Elizabeth months ago. Now Elizabeth was similarly affected. However, he did not seem inclined to do anything about it. Georgiana wondered if her brother would allow the disparities in their stations alone to keep him from sharing his life with the woman he loved.

  When Elizabeth joined the family for dinner on the evening before their departure from Rosings Park, it relieved Georgiana to witness her brother’s enthusiasm. For the first time in days, he cast off his gloom and made a concerted effort to enjoy the evening. She was especially pleased to see Elizabeth and him conversing after the meal. Though she had no inkling of what they were discussing, they seemed rather intense. When her aunt insisted upon having her share in the conversation, Darcy suggested they were speaking of music. Georgiana imperceptibly shook her head. She certainly hoped Elizabeth and her brother had more to discuss than that.

  Indeed, they did. Something needed to change.

  ~ Chapter 11 ~

  Purpose and Meaning

  The Darcys’ participation in Georgiana’s second Season began immediately upon their return to London from Rosings Park. Three weeks later, Lord Harry asked for Georgiana’s hand in marriage, and Darcy gave the couple his blessing. The wedding was in six weeks. Lady Matlock was delighted. Playing matchmaker for Darcy became the farthest thing from her mind. Her sole focus was on the planning of a June wedding.

  The Season progressed quite differently than the last. The news of Georgiana Darcy’s engagement to Lord Harry Middleton signalled there would no longer be a steady stream of gentlemen callers at Darcy House. Darcy’s obligation to take part in the Season significantly diminished. As Georgiana’s intended, Lord Harry undertook the role as her escort among society. They went everywhere together. His sister, Lady Harriette, often accompanied them; therefore, Darcy never did. He would not be seen in Lady Harriette’s company and thus give rise to any sort of speculation of an attachment. Darcy only attended those functions hosted by the Matlocks or their closest friends, and always on his own.

  After overstepping the bounds of their tenuous friendship at the temple in Kent, Darcy finally came to appreciate what Elizabeth meant when she said they could not go back to the type of friendship they once had shared. He still felt responsible for her bout of illness following their trip. He endeavoured to respect whatever boundaries she chose to impose on their relationship. If she desired his company, he made himself available; otherwise, he focused his attentions on his work. He mostly kept to the privacy of his study when he was at home during the day. When he was out, he focused upon sporting activities, especially fencing. Though Richard and he no longer shared the same proclivity for debauchery, the two continued to enjoy many other gentlemanly pastimes. On occasion, Darcy spent time at his club with Bingley and other old friends, as well.

  For the rest of the Season, each day passed much as the day before with Lady Matlock, Georgiana, and Elizabeth focusing upon the upcoming wedding; splitting their time between Darcy House and Matlock House.

  As happy as Georgiana was over her upcoming marriage to Lord Harry, she worried over Elizabeth’s fate. She loved her very much, and did not want to have to say goodbye to her best friend. Though Elizabeth often attempted to reassure Georgiana that they would always be friends, Georgiana continued to fret. She could not understand what was happening with her brother. It was increasingly clear that he cared deeply for Elizabeth. She feared he might never overlook his pride and his sense of duty to offer for her. With her marriage to Lord Harry and her place in the highest circles secured, she wondered if her brother might forget society’s dictates to pursue his own happiness.

  The day of Georgiana’s wedding was by all definitions, perfect. She was proudly escorted down the aisle by both Darcy and Richard. Though Georgiana insisted upon a small, simple gathering of immediate family and intimate friends for the ceremony, Lady Matlock insisted upon a more lavish wedding breakfast for the nuptials of the niece of the Earl of Matlock and the son and heir of the Earl of Stafford. Many from the highest circles of society attended. After the grand wedding breakfast, hosted by Lady Matlock at Darcy House, Georgiana and her husband promptly set off for their new town home in Mayfair, with a planned departure on their honeymoon tour in three days hence.

  As overjoyed as he was for his sister, Darcy, for the most part, went through the mot
ions that day, doing everything expected of him as the surrogate father of the bride, but with an overwhelming sense of unease. Elizabeth had yet to give him an answer to his proposal. She had avoided giving Darcy an answer before Georgiana’s wedding, so as not to overshadow the felicity surrounding the occasion.

  ~ ~ ~

  In the last month leading up to Georgiana’s wedding, Darcy had fretted over his imminent separation from Elizabeth. With Georgiana married and out of his home, it would not be possible for Elizabeth to remain under his roof. Darcy had decided to provide a modest home near Hanover Square for Elizabeth. He had charged his solicitor with setting up a trust in Elizabeth’s name to pay all her household expenses as well as afford a comfortable yearly stipend for the rest of her life. Acting on her behalf as an anonymous benefactor, Darcy had wished to offer Elizabeth a secure and independent future. Other than Elizabeth and his solicitor, he had not intended that anyone should know of his bequest.

  Two days before the wedding, Darcy had presented the settlements he had made on Elizabeth’s behalf to her. Elizabeth’s astonishment was beyond expression. She stared, coloured, doubted, and was silent. To Elizabeth, and she was sure to everyone else as well, his plan would be perceived as an arrangement for a mistress!

  With the departure of the last of the wedding guests, Elizabeth approached Darcy for a long overdue discussion on his plans for her future.

  Darcy sat casually on his desk with his eyes fixed on her face, and Elizabeth stood directly in front of him, barely a foot away, her colour heightened and her arms folded. They were in the midst of a heated argument.

  “You know that is not what I have suggested!” Darcy stated emphatically. His resounding voice could be heard outside the door of his study.

  “What about perceptions?” Elizabeth argued. “Perception is everything among society! What were you thinking, Mr. Darcy? Despite your honourable intentions, I would be exposed to the censure of the world for dissipation, as well as its derision... scorned as a kept woman!”