Falling For Ryan: Part One

by Tracy Lorraine

  “Shit,” I mutter as I run my hands through my hair in frustration. I storm back into my room, putting the light on this time. I pull my clothes back on and stuff my things into my bag before turning to leave the room. It’s then that I notice a note on my pillow.

  You said you would always fight for me.

  “FUUUUUCK!” I shout, running down the stairs. Mum is tidying the kitchen when I round the corner.

  “Where are your car keys?” I shout, startling her.

  “What?” she questions as she spins around.

  “Where are your fucking car keys?” I spit at her.

  “Ryan, what’s happened?”

  “You…you’re what’s happened. You, slagging her off…and she’s fucking gone because of it. She’s packed her stuff, got in her car, and left, all because you can’t accept her. Give me your keys,” I demand, my hand outstretched.

  At that moment, my dad comes around the corner with a set of keys hanging between his fingers. He looks half asleep. I must have woken him up with my shouting.

  “Thank you. It’s good to know someone cares.”

  I pat my dad on the shoulder as I turn to leave, jump in Mum’s car, and race off. She hardly drives the thing, so it splutters at bit at first. I keep reminding myself to keep my speed in check. I won’t be worth much to anyone if I’m dead in a ditch.

  I go home first—not because I think she’s there, because I know she’s not, but because I know I have a spare key to my old flat. There’s no way she is going to let me in willingly if she’s heard what I think she has.

  I almost smile to myself when I see her car behind Cocoa’s. I go straight to the door to the flat above and shove the key in the lock. Relief floods me when I realise they haven’t changed the locks. I take the stairs three at a time, eager to get to her. The place looks deserted, so I guess she must be in her old room.

  My pulse hammers around my body as I walk towards her door. It’s shut, so I gently push it open to reveal Molly fast asleep on the sofa, the moonlight casting light across her face where she hasn’t shut the curtains. A pile of tissues is next to her head, resting on the armrest. The sight breaks my heart.

  I run my fingers down her cheek. I want to wake her up gently, not scare the shit out of her.

  “Molly,” I whisper, kissing her hair.

  She groans lightly, and her eyes flicker as she begins to wake.

  “Molly, it’s just me. I’m so sorry. I came after you as soon as I realised you’d left,” I say in a soothing voice, stroking my hand down her hair.

  Her eyelids finally open, but as soon as she realises what’s going on, her eyes are wide and she sits bolt upright.

  “What the fuck are you doing here? How did you get in?” she asks, looking panicked.

  “I knew you’d be here, so I stopped at home and got my key. I had a feeling you wouldn’t let me in if I knocked.”

  “I actually hate you right now. I can’t believe you just let her go off on me like that. You didn’t even try to defend me—you actually agreed with her. You didn’t fight for me. You promised.”

  “It’s not how it looked, Molly. I swear it’s not.”

  “That’s what they always say.”

  She tries pushing me away from where I’m crouched in front of her, but I put my arms on her shoulders to hold her in place.

  “Just hear me out, please?” I sit back when I feel her relax under my hands.

  “No. I want you to leave.” She stands up and strides over to the door. “I don’t want you here. I don’t even want to look at you.”

  She turns her face away from me, but not before I see a tear fall onto her cheek.

  “I’m not going anywhere until you listen to me,” I say, walking over until I’m standing right in front of her. The heat from her body warms mine and my fingers twitch to pull her to me.

  Reaching out, I gently take her chin in my hand, and move her head until she’s looking at me. Her eyes are red and bloodshot, and she has fresh tears running down her cheeks. “Molly, I do not and will never agree with what my mum thinks of you.”

  “But you did. I heard you. You said you were struggling with it. Struggling with…with me.”

  “Molly, you were right before when you said my mum hates you. Every time I see her or talk to her, she goes off like she did tonight about you. I’ve defended you so many times, I couldn’t possibly count. I’m constantly repeating myself to her, but she never listens. She’s formed her own opinions and refuses to change them, no matter what I say. The last few times she’s done it, I’ve found it easier to let her run out of steam before I say anything. Trust me, it makes the whole thing quicker. If you had hung around, you would have heard me defend you. I think I actually scared her a little because I lost it. She has no right to talk about you the way she does, and it really fucking pisses me off.” As I explain, my previous anger starts to flow through my veins.

  She looks down at the floor again, but I put my hand on her cheek to pull her back.

  “You’re shaking,”

  “I’m so fucking angry. I thought I’d calmed down on the drive here, but remembering it just makes me mad again. You are the most wonderful person, Molly. I don’t know how she can’t see that, can’t see everything you’ve done for me this year.”

  “I’m struggling to understand, Ryan.”

  “I said I was struggling because I am. I’m struggling with what’s been going on between us. I know you spoke to Susan the other night, because she came to see me afterwards. Don’t pretend like you don’t know what I’m talking about, because I know you do. I don’t want to ruin what we’ve already got either, Molly.”

  “She told you what I said?”

  “No, just that you didn’t want to ruin our friendship. She would never break your confidence, you know that.”

  She stares right into my eyes. “I’m not ruining our friendship because we’re both lonely.” Her eyes are hard as they stare into mine, as if she’s trying to make me believe the words she’s saying.

  Thinking about my response, I pull my bottom lip into my mouth, but the only thing it achieves is getting Molly’s attention. Her eyes drop and I watch her pupils dilate as I release it and run my tongue along the length. I can almost hear the argument she’s having with herself.

  “Molly?” I question, trying to bring her back from her daydream. I step a little closer and rub my thumbs under her eyes to wipe away the tears.

  Her eyes bore into mine. They’re filled with a desire that causes every muscle in my body to clench as I allow myself to imagine what could be about to happen.

  Her gaze drops to my lips once again and I slide one hand so that my fingers are tangling in her hair while the other shifts so I can run my thumb along her bottom lip.

  She sucks in a breath and her eyes come back to me. The longing I see reflected in them is exactly what I need to close the small amount of space between us.

  Dropping my hand to her hip, I take the leap. When our lips meet, fireworks explode within me.

  With our lips pressed together, I lean into her, aligning our bodies perfectly. I run my tongue along the join of Molly’s lips, asking for her to open up for me. She hesitates and her body freezes. It’s just long enough for me to panic. But, a second later, her lips part and I quickly slide my tongue inside. As soon as it touches hers, another round of fireworks erupts through my body and her taste explodes on my tongue. I swear she’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever fucking tasted. Lifting my arm, I cage her in and press her back harder into the wall. I need her to feel exactly what she does to me.

  I’ve kissed a few girls in my time, but none of them were anything like this. It’s fucking unbelievable. My pulse races and my temperature soars as our tongues and bodies continue to dance together. I reluctantly pull my mouth away from hers so I can catch my breath. Placing kisses along her jaw and down her neck, I zero in on that sweet spot under her ear. She moans when I caress it with my tongue, and my cock twitches at the though
t of running it over the rest of her body.

  I’m just about to move back to her lips when her phone starts ringing, snapping us out of our sexual haze. I have to lean back against the wall to stop myself from falling when she slides out from under me. My whole body’s weak just from kissing her.

  She’s breathless and her chest heaves, but it doesn’t stop her from answering the phone. “Hello?” I check my watch; it’s nearly four o’clock in the morning. Who the hell is calling at this time? “Adam, hi. Are you having a good holiday?”

  Hearing his name brings me down from my high. Wanting to hear as much of the conversation as I can, I move over and sit on the sofa next to Molly.

  “Yeah, it’s great,” I hear him say on the other end. “I can’t stop thinking about you, though.” If I hadn’t already come back to earth with a bang, hearing that definitely finished me off.

  “Aw, that’s sweet, Adam.”

  “I fly back in early Saturday morning. Will you meet me for breakfast?”

  “Um, won’t you be tired?”

  “Maybe, but I want to see you.”

  “Uh, okay then. Text me the details.”

  My heart drops into my stomach.

  “Look, Adam, I don’t mean to be rude, but you do know what the time is here, don’t you?” she questions him.

  “The guys just said it should be the middle of the afternoon. Is that not right?”

  “Add on about twelve hours and they would be.”

  “Hang on,” I hear him say, followed by, “Oi, you bunch of shits. Don’t fucking run, you pussies!” shouted away from the phone. I can’t help but grin. “Sorry about that. I think I may have wound them up talking about you to them all week, and they’ve just got their own back.”

  “No problem. Let me know where you want to meet Saturday. Enjoy the rest of your holiday.” With that, she hangs up and relaxes back on the sofa.

  “Look, Ryan…” She turns to me, and I can tell what’s coming next just from the look on her face. “What just happened—” She gestures back towards the wall. “Well, it shouldn’t have happened. You’re my best friend, and I intend on it staying that way. I’m going out with Adam on Saturday, and I suggest you try and find someone to do the same with so we can put whatever’s going on between us to bed.”

  I just stare at her, open-mouthed, completely lost for words. The only thing going around in my head is, ‘I love you’, but I don’t think this is the best time for that little announcement.

  And as for me finding someone else? Yeah, I don’t think that’s going to be happening anytime soon, either.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Molly

  I’m staring at my sketchpad the next afternoon. I should be coming up with a logo for a guy starting up a new building company in the city, but all I can think about is last night.

  That kiss.

  Holy shit, that kiss was like nothing I have ever experienced before. The moment his lips touched mine, my entire body was alight. I’m not exactly lacking experience when it comes to guys, but I can honestly say I’ve never felt anything like that before. If Adam hadn’t chosen to ring at that moment, I can only imagine how far it would have gone, because at the time, I had no intention of stopping, and I got the idea Ryan didn’t either, judging how he was grinding his very obvious excitement against my stomach.

  “Molly…Molly…earth calling Molly,” I hear Jax saying next to me. I snap my eyes up to him and see his brows drawn down in concern. “You’ve been away with the fairies all day. Are you sure everything’s okay?”

  “Uh, yeah, sorry,” I say, sounding very unconvincing.

  “No, I’m not letting you get away with that. Come on, grab your bag. We’re going to that wine bar down the street.”

  I watch Jax walk back from the bar with our third—or fourth?—glass of wine. We’ve been chatting about all sorts of things since we’ve been here. He’s told me more about Lucy. I’m so jealous of how goofy he looks when he talks about her. I want someone to look like that when they talk about me.

  “Does she not mind you being out getting drunk with me?”

  “No, she’s fine with it. One of her friends has just broken up with her boyfriend; she’s been spending a lot of time with her. Apparently, she’s a mess. Lucy’s friends are really important to her. She’s always doing something with one of them. It’s one of the things I love—she’s so caring of the people who are important to her.” There’s that goofy face again that makes my insides twist with jealousy.

  I look down at my glass and watch the condensation run down the side. I let out a large breath I didn’t realise I was holding.

  “So, now you’re suitably tipsy…what the hell is wrong?”

  “Ryan,” I say, looking up at him. I go on to explain everything that has happened over the past few days.

  “Let me get this right. You only want to be friends with him, even though you feel so strongly about him?”

  “Yes, there’s too much at stake.”

  “So, you’re going to torture yourself, and him, by the sounds of it, by keeping up the façade that you just want to be friends?”

  “I’m not torturing myself. I love being his friend. And he’ll find someone like I’ve got Adam.”

  “Hmm, yeah, Molly. You keep telling yourself that.” I fix him with the dirtiest look I can manage in my drunken state.

  We finish our drinks, then Jax finds us a taxi. I tell him that he should be dropped off first because he lives in the city center, but he refuses and gives the driver my address. He insists that he needs to make sure I’m home safe first. Such a gentleman. I hope Lucy knows just how lucky she is.

  I’m at my front door, fumbling around in my giant handbag, trying to find my keys while Jax waits patiently. Eventually, he gives up and rings the doorbell. There are lights on, so Ryan must still be up. I stop hunting and lean against the door, waiting for him to appear and rescue me.

  I must have fallen asleep standing up, because the next thing I know, I’m falling into a very naked and slightly damp chest. I open my eyes to find my cheek pressed into Ryan’s ripped pec. Looking down at his abs, I see droplets of water running down to soak into the waistband of his boxers. I look lower; it’s all he’s wearing. My drunken self is very happy with my findings.

  I slowly rake my eyes back up his torso until I have my head tipped back so I can look up to his face. I’m shocked by what I see. He’s staring straight ahead of him, and his jaw is set like he’s about to fight. I turn my head to see he’s glaring right at Jax.

  “What the fuck have you done to her?” he growls. I feel his hands come around my waist to hold me up.

  “What have I done to her? What the fuck, man? We went for a drink after work and got a bit carried away. Molly had some things she needed to get off her chest, and she needed a little Dutch courage to spit it out.”

  “So, you got her drunk to get what you wanted?”

  “What? No! I was being a friend and helping her, listening to her. She’s been distracted all day, not been herself at all. Something was obviously seriously bothering her.”

  “If she needs a friend because she’s got an issue, I’m here. She knows I’m always here for her. You can go now. You’ve done enough, clearly.”

  I’m listening to their exchange and want to speak, but my mouth won’t connect with my brain and work properly.

  “She can’t talk to you about everything, Ryan. She is allowed other friends.”

  “Yes, she is, but not ones who are trying to get in her knickers.”

  “That’s rich,” Jax bounces back, making me smile. “I’ve got a girlfriend; I have no interest in Molly’s knickers. I suggest you sort out your attitude ready for when you meet her tomorrow night. I stupidly told Molly to invite you along for dinner with us. I thought it would be good to get to know each other properly, but the more I see of you, the more I’m thinking it’s not a good idea. I don’t know what she sees in you.”

  “Likewise.”
<
br />   “Molly, I’ll see you at work tomorrow after you’ve slept off your hangover.” I hear Jax walk off, then the car door shutting.

  Ryan

  Tucking Molly into my side, I push the door closed and gently encourage her towards her bedroom. I should let her sort herself out. It would be the easiest option for me, but her legs are barely holding her upright now.

  “Ryan,” she moans, as I lower her to the bed. When I stand and look down at her, my breath catches at the determination on her face. “I need you.”

  I go to step back but I’m not quick enough. Her hands tighten around my waist and she pulls herself back up. Her tits rub against my chest and I have to take a deep breath as I will my body not to react to her. She’s drunk off her face and probably won’t remember a second of this in the morning. If our time comes, it won’t be like this. I want her to remember every single second of it.

  Her tiny hands run up over the ridges of my abs and then over my chest before they interlock behind my neck. Even in her shoes, she’s not quite tall enough, so she reaches up on her tiptoes. Our lips are barely a breath apart. The scent of the alcohol on her breath hits me and reminds me that I can’t allow myself to be swept away like this.

  “You shouldn’t ever wear clothes, you know? It’s even wrong that you’re wearing boxers right now,” she slurs.

  “Molly, you’re drunk. Let’s get you into bed.”

  “Umm…good idea. Let’s take this to the bed.” She releases her hands from behind me, her nails scratching lightly down my back. I can’t help the groan that falls from my lips, or the hardening of my cock as she runs her hands over my naked skin.

  The moment her fingertips slip under the waistband of my boxers, I know I need to move.

  “Come on. Bed,” I instruct, gently pushing on her shoulders so she has no choice but to sit back down.

  I fall to my knees in front of her and set about undoing her shoes. The clasp is tiny for my giant fingers but, eventually, I drop them both to the floor, ready to get her into bed to sleep off the alcohol coursing through her veins.