Reckless

by Stella Rhys

  Needing to, really.

  With a smile on my face, I arched an eyebrow at him once Heidi left.

  “So, kids, check. I’m guessing dogs are in your future too?”

  “Oh yeah,” he replied, taking a big bite of his food before he looked at me with a curious twinkle in his eye. He finished chewing before he asked, “You too, right?”

  “Of course,” I replied.

  His lips turned up with satisfaction.

  “Good,” he said.

  And for the next few seconds, we just nodded in silence, our eyes quietly glimmering on each other as some kind of wordless acknowledgement swirled in the air between us.

  But when he broke into a full grin, I had to look away, because I couldn’t let him have a head-on view of me actually blushing.

  Easy, I told myself, trying to remind myself not to overanalyze his remark.

  But with the way he was looking at me—the way he’d been looking at me all morning—it was pretty hard not to.

  And… yep. You are officially fucked, I thought, taking a long pull of my drink from my straw, because I knew what was happening right now.

  I was falling for this man. So fast and hard that at this point, nothing could stop me.

  I was certain of it.

  28

  ADAM

  Standing in Engelman’s office, I thanked God for the fact that it was a pretty full room.

  Because I couldn’t take my eyes off of her this morning.

  Not the biggest surprise.

  Even if she didn’t look fucking stunning today with her hair gathered in a bun, and her body wrapped in a cream-colored top and hip-hugging pencil skirt, I’d still be having trouble tearing my eyes off of her.

  I had definitely struggled this morning when we woke up.

  After hanging out for hours at Gizzy’s yesterday, we’d gone back to my place and relaxed for the rest of the day, bringing a bottle of wine out by the pool. With AJ’s head resting on my chest, we switched back and forth between talking and simply laying there, watching the sun go down.

  The sky was streaked with purple, orange and gold when I got the text from Knox.

  KNOX: Let’s sign that contract tomorrow.

  Before I so much as pumped my fist, I flashed AJ the screen.

  And the next thing I knew, she was squealing, cheering with such triumph and excitement that I couldn’t help but forget about Knox in that moment—about why I’d been quietly chasing him for years.

  All I could think about was AJ. Because I knew what this meant for her.

  Given how closely we worked, my success was always hers, but it was different this time. Because of RTA. Schilling. She was stronger than to let the demons from her past haunt her every day, but still, I knew this felt good, deeply satisfying—especially since she’d been the one to hook Knox. To lead that meeting and beat him at his own game of bluntness.

  “This is the secret weapon right here.”

  Surrounded by his team, Knox sat at Engelman’s desk, nodding at AJ and setting off a round of laughter that allowed me to keep watching her as I pleased.

  I liked that she wasn’t looking at me. It gave me the chance to just soak her in as she smiled and talked to Knox, who clearly couldn’t help himself from chatting her up a bit more today, because as gorgeous as she was on her own, she was radiating happiness right now, and it was genuinely fucking mesmerizing. The glow of her skin was probably a result of the cardio we did till 2AM, but her smile was about far more than that.

  It was bigger, brighter than I’d ever seen it, and I couldn’t stop staring even as she caught my eye and snuck a knowing smirk across the room that made a big-ass grin spread onto my lips.

  Oh, yeah.

  I was fucked.

  But I kind of knew I’d be after bringing her to Gizzy’s yesterday. It was the kind of mistake that I knew I was making as I made it, that I wanted to make because as much as I knew I needed to compartmentalize my life, I couldn’t help but indulge my temptation to just bring her to that happy place of mine. The private spot that had been my secret escape for so many years. I couldn’t explain my need to be there with her. To have other people see us together.

  I just knew it meant I was fucked.

  But in a way that I didn’t exactly mind being right now, because oddly enough, it felt okay. Right, even.

  “Too early to drink, Maxwell?”

  The question came from Engelman after the room had cleared and he’d asked me to stay behind.

  “We’ve had eighteen-year-old Scotch in this room at 9AM before. Is this a real question?” I asked. He laughed.

  “Nah. Just a formality,” he said as he poured two glasses. “I only wish I got to see the fucks at RTA react to this news.”

  “Trust me, same here.”

  “You know, if you keep up this kind of work, you could be partner here soon.”

  “I’m flattered, but if anyone’s going to be promoted for the Knox signing, it’s AJ. She did half the work,” I said.

  Engelman chuckled. “She’s quite good at what she does, but I’m promoting Davis this year.”

  “You’re shitting me. That kiss-ass?” I didn’t even try to hide my contempt, because Davis was an inept suck-up who was the son of Engelman’s college buddy, so it was pretty clear what was going on here.

  Engelman shrugged. “What are you going to do, huh?” he said, as if this were just out of his hands.

  “I can answer that—you can recognize AJ’s talent sooner rather than later, so you don’t lose both her and me,” I snorted, taking a drink.

  “I already told you, I’ll burn Thorn Sports to the goddamned ground if you ever leave us for them,” Engelman said with a grin.

  “My best friend’s run the place for the past six years, Don. If I wanted to leave, I would’ve done it awhile ago. You know LA’s my home. Always has been, always will be. And as long as I’m happy here, I’m retiring Engelman.”

  “Yeah? So it’s LA forever? Even with Iain and your sister in New York?”

  “They visit often enough, and everyone else I love is here,” I said so breezily that I didn’t process exactly what just came out of my mouth till moments later.

  “Well, that’s music to my ears. Cheers to that,” Engelman smiled broadly.

  “Cheers,” I returned.

  And somewhere in the next few minutes of conversation, my mind rewound to what I’d just said.

  Everyone else I love is here.

  Leaning back in the leather chair, I took a drink from my glass, pretending to listen to Engelman as I realized that it was entirely true.

  Holland and Iain were in New York, but the rest of my world was here in LA. Everything I wanted and needed was right here. It always had been.

  I just hadn’t realized that until the past couple of weeks.

  Say it, you idiot, I told myself, goading myself to admit even in my own head what I knew I felt.

  But it was a first. It was different than what I was born feeling for my family. It was brand new. Well, the realization was at least. Because something told me that the feelings I had for AJ had been there for years.

  I just didn’t know what I was looking at.

  “Go ahead and take the day off if I got you too drunk. I know your sister’s in town,” Engelman said as I got up to leave. I smirked.

  “I appreciate it, but I’m not drunk,” I said, despite the fact that I did feel a buzzing in my veins and a risky question at the tip of my tongue. In my head, I knew it was wisest to keep it reined it.

  But I didn’t care.

  I’d already decided to ask her.

  AJ

  I was physically at my desk and I was talking to Deb.

  But I wasn’t actually there.

  My head was back in that fantasy world that felt too good to be true. It had honestly started Sunday at brunch, when Adam came to pick me up, and since then, I hadn’t quite left.

  Then again, how could I really be expected to come back t
o the real world?

  I’d just spent two consecutive nights at Adam’s, had the most mind-blowing sex of my life and then the biggest triumph of my career thus far.

  I genuinely couldn’t remember the last time I felt this happy.

  Of course, there was a petty part of me wishing I could’ve been listening in when Knox called Schilling and RTA to let them know he’d gone with Adam. But that was only a tiny sliver of my brain, because the truth was that I’d never felt the need to shove anything in Schilling’s face. The only way I had ever planned on getting my revenge was by living well. Being successful. Having clients I took care of, whose careers flourished because of me. The goal was to be happy, proud of myself.

  I had never needed anything more than that.

  But this victory with Knox?

  Definitely a fun little bonus, I thought just as I watched several heads in The Pit—namely Liza’s and Kenzie’s—whip up at the same time.

  Usually the sign that Adam was coming.

  I smiled when I caught sight of him, and I thanked God that today, we had an excuse to be grinning at each other from well across the floor.

  Catching the look on my face, Deb looked over her shoulder.

  “Lord, that smile. I’ve never seen him so happy before,” she remarked. I laughed.

  “Yeah. He was just really dying to land Knox,” I said, though I knew in my heart that that smile wasn’t for Knox.

  It was entirely for me.

  “AJ, a word?” Adam said, not breaking his stride as he nodded for me to follow him in.

  Excusing myself from Deb, I got up from my desk, trailing Adam with a smile on my face that I had to bite back as soon as I closed the door behind me, because I knew as soon as it clicked shut, I’d feel Adam’s body against mine. And I was right.

  The door had barely closed before I was pressed against it, Adam’s hands cupping my face as he sealed his lips against mine, kissing me like he hadn’t just seen me thirty minutes ago. I was breathless, eyes fluttering when he pulled away, still holding my face and searching me so earnestly that I couldn’t help my shy smile.

  “What?” I whispered.

  “What if we just told her?” he asked.

  “Told who what?”

  “Holland,” he said, making me still for a moment. The smile was still on my lips, but I eyed Adam with a cross between nerves and amusement, because he didn’t have to answer the rest of my question for me to know what he wanted to tell her.

  “Adam.” My lips spoke before I even knew what I was going to say, because I certainly didn’t know exactly what I was feeling. “Why do you want to?” I asked gently. “We’re not…” Dating, I wanted to say. But I rephrased myself. “We don’t know anything for sure right now,” I said softly.

  “I do,” he returned swiftly. “I know I can’t live without you,” he said—and with such confidence and ease that the breath had barely the chance to catch in my throat before he was going on. “It’s been the case for years and I’ve always known it, but now I know it differently. I want to be with you. I’m never going to want to be with anyone else. I know that, AJ.”

  My heart was pounding. I wasn’t sure when that started, but it was, and it was so loud that I told myself perhaps I’d imagined it. I could barely hear anything besides my own frantic pulse, so what made me think I’d really just heard Adam Maxwell tell me that he wanted to be with me and only me?

  Oh, I don’t know.

  Just the fact that he said it and this is real and you’re denying this why?

  My head spun as I tried to wrap my mind around the rush of shock and excitement and completely paralyzing fear. I had no idea what was going to come out of my mouth when I gathered myself.

  But when I finally did, the answer apparently was laughter.

  The happy kind.

  “You’re crazy,” I said, to which he laughed too.

  “Maybe. But if I am, it’s your fault.”

  “Adam, I…” I trailed off, a million questions zipping through my brain. Were we together? Was I his girlfriend? How were we going to navigate things at work? Were we going to have secret dates at Gizzy’s till one of us left Engelman for another agency? But neither of us were going to do that. We loved it here. “I don’t know yet, Adam,” I breathed out, overwhelmed. “I know it would make her so happy and I know it would make her feel like we’re this family, but I’m scared too.”

  “It’s okay, I understand,” Adam said assuringly, his voice a murmur as he brushed a lock of hair from my face. “You have time to think about it.”

  “We only have five hours before dinner,” I laughed.

  “Well then you have five hours to think about it,” he smirked. “And you can always say no,” he added. “It wouldn’t change anything.”

  “It wouldn’t change the way you feel?” I questioned. His eyebrows furrowed genuinely.

  “Why would it?”

  My heart quietly soared as I gave a little shrug.

  Those fucking dimples. One look at them and my brain short-circuited, telling me to just zip it with the questions and tell him yes.

  But I made sure to take the next few hours to think. To weigh my options. To try and come down from my heights and reason with myself, pointing out to myself that we’d just skipped a million steps here.

  We hadn’t been on a real date. We hadn’t said those three words. We’d always had a different, complicated, rule-bending relationship, but I wasn’t sure that meant we could just fast-track ourselves to being together. Forever.

  I’m never going to want to be with anyone else.

  I only want to be with you.

  Another few hours later, and I hadn’t fully processed that he’d really said these words.

  So I did what I always did when I needed help wrapping my mind around something.

  “He really said that?” Georgia squealed when I finally found a free minute to run off to the bathroom and get her on the phone.

  I did my best not to full-on freak out with Georgia as I confirmed that yes, Adam really did say that.

  “AJ, you know it’s not even about telling Holland, right?” Georgia said excitedly. “I mean it is, but it isn’t, because the reason he even asked you that today was because he realized you’re his endgame. He’s a man who knows what he wants, and he wants you. And only you.”

  “Georgia… I would be lying if I said I didn’t love the way that sounds, but this all happened so fast,” I pointed, closing my eyes and feeling my eyebrows pinch together as I said it. “It hasn’t been a month since that weekend in Palm Beach. How the hell would he really know that he wants to be with me forever?”

  “AJ, come on. He’s lived the last five years of his life with you by his side. Every step of the way. And the same goes for you,” she said in an uncharacteristically know-it-all voice that both amused me and made me break into a giddy smile. “Besides, don’t you remember what I told you that weekend in Palm Beach?”

  I paused to think about it. “Honestly, no. All I remember is your whole ‘distance makes the orgasm stronger’ thing.”

  Georgia giggled. “Okay, fine. Well, what I told you at the time was for Caspar. But turns out it should’ve been for Adam the whole time.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You know. That all that attraction, all those feelings are there. They’ve always been there. They’ve just been buried under a million layers of life and stress and all the complexities of your relationship, but it only ever takes one night to wake it all up,” she said, making my floating stare glaze over as she stunned me with not only the memory of her words that night but how right she was.

  How they applied perfectly to Adam.

  “I can tell from your silence that you know I’m absolutely right,” Georgia said smugly. I snorted.

  “Perhaps,” I said before just staring in space for five seconds. “So now what?” I finally asked.

  “Well, if you’re asking for my opinion, you know me. I’ve been quietl
y Team Adam this whole time, so I say tell Holland tonight,” Georgia said. “You might not be able to act like a couple for awhile, but at least let yourself have it tonight.”

  It was 7PM. Dinner was at 8PM, but Adam and I had planned to get drinks before meeting up with Holland and Iain.

  Of course, that plan was derailed when Knox called at 6PM, inviting Adam to grab drinks with him and his girlfriend before his flight back to West Palm Beach.

  “Please just come with me,” Adam said, appearing at my desk before he headed out. “We both know you’re the reason he signed today.”

  I smiled. “Whether or not I was, you’re still his agent. I’ll have a client of my own someday, but this one’s yours, and he clearly wants some bonding time, which is… a pretty big deal, considering what an unfriendly little shit he’s been for so long.”

  Adam laughed. “Fair enough. So you’re just going to leave for dinner from here?”

  I nodded. “The restaurant is closer to here than from my AirBnB, and the bathroom has better lighting for when I do my makeup.”

  A curious look flickered in his eye and as a few coworkers walked by, he lowered his voice. “You’re still not telling me what you’re wearing tonight?” he asked, referring to our plans for after dinner, which were to go with Holland and Iain to Holland’s work party. Considering she worked for one of the biggest lingerie brands in the world, we had a hunch the vibe would be at least a little bit sultry.

  I smirked. “Nope. You’ll just have to see when you get there,” I said.

  Relenting, he laughed. “Alright. Guess that gives me motivation to get this over with,” he said.

  But just as he turned to go, I said, “Hey.”

  He turned around. “Yeah?”

  I drank in that faint, gorgeously peaceful smile on his face as he looked at me, unsuspecting.

  “Let’s tell her,” I said, a thrill tingling over every inch of my skin as I watched the excitement flash in Adam’s eyes. He held his stare on me, the satisfaction spreading his lips till he was hiding his grin behind his hand, which stroked across his jaw.