Remembrance of the Past

by Lory Lilian

  Her speech became increasingly animated, and her voice showed determination that would brook no opposition. For the first time in their acquaintance, it was Elizabeth who demanded Cassandra’s obedience—and without argument. Cassandra remained silent and lowered her eyes.

  “Upon my word, you are truly irritating, Elizabeth, do you know that?” she finally said.

  “No more than yourself, your ladyship.”

  “Very well, we shall talk about this again soon. However, we shall also talk about your riding skills. You cannot expect to ride bareback on the same horse with Darcy forever, no matter how much you enjoy it.” Cassandra’s triumphant voice and mischievous smile took a small revenge upon her friend.

  Elizabeth’s cheeks coloured, and her embarrassment was obvious at the recollection of their ride in the rain. However, it was Elizabeth who had the last word in their debate. Her voice was witty as her eyes sparkled with boldness and amusement.

  “Well, I am not sure you are correct, your ladyship. As the future mistress of Pemberley, I am quite certain I will be allowed to ride in any manner I wish, as often as I wish, and to share anything with my husband—including a bare-backed horse.”

  Cassandra remained still, her eyes wide in surprise as if she were still trying to understand the reply. Elizabeth burst out in peals of laughter, and Cassandra looked at her in mocking disapproval.

  “I have no reply to such a statement. I had best be leaving now, as it seems my wit cannot surpass yours this morning; you are simply in too lively a mood for me. I will go and have a most unpleasant morning with Miss Bingley, Mrs. Hurst and Miss Cardington; that is all I can hope for.”

  “I would be happy to invite you to have breakfast with us. I cannot bear to know that Miss Bingley and Mrs. Hurst will ruin your appetite.”

  “Oh, that sounds tempting indeed, but I cannot abandon Georgiana and especially poor Darcy; they would never forgive me.”

  “But Cassandra…is William not gone? I imagined he must have reached Town by now; he left quite early.”

  “Darcy is gone? Where?”

  “Where?! To London!”

  “To London? What on earth is he doing in London again? And why did he not tell me?”

  “He had some unfinished business; he did not have time to complete everything when he returned in haste. It is something about settlements and other things. He mostly spoke to my father about it. I imagine he did not find the time to mention it to you. But do not worry; he will return in a few days.”

  “What a coward! I am sure he simply tried to get away from Miss Bingley and Miss Cardington after they found you were engaged to be married! Otherwise I cannot understand why he left in such a hurry.”

  “Oh, do not be so harsh on him!” Elizabeth smiled, struggling not to allow her own concerns to overwhelm her again. “I suggested he wait and rest a day or two, but he seemed determined to leave today. I imagine he wanted to take advantage of the colonel’s company as they travelled together. However, I am quite sure he did not run from any lady. He is a brave and honourable gentleman and can handle Miss Bingley quite skilfully.”

  Elizabeth expected Cassandra would laugh and was prepared to join her, but to her utter shock, Cassandra’s countenance darkened instantly, and Elizabeth was sure her friend forgot to breathe. The reins were trembling in her hands, and her eyes blinked nervously as she tried—with little success—to mount her horse. She seemed unable to control her movements, as though she were a beginner riding for the first time.

  “Cassandra, what is the matter? Wait, you cannot ride in such a state—

  “Elizabeth, I must go. I have not a moment to lose. I must return to Netherfield this instant.”

  “Cassandra, wait! I will accompany you to Netherfield. Let us walk together. You cannot—

  However, Cassandra did not listen or turn toward Elizabeth as she rode away.

  Elizabeth felt her knees become too weak to remain upright, and she found support against a tree. Cassandra’s reaction frightened her beyond description, and many minutes passed before she dared contemplate what had caused it. Eventually, she understood it was the mention of the colonel’s name that had affected Cassandra so powerfully.

  Later that afternoon, Mr. Bennet received a letter from London with a note for Elizabeth inside it. Elizabeth took the envelope and ran to her chamber; as she opened it, she burst into tears of sheer happiness. They had arrived safely, and she could not wish or pray for more.

  But there was more: almost two pages speaking of his love and longing for her. After reading it several times, Elizabeth finally lay down on her bed, exhausted, holding the paper tightly to her heart—and fell asleep.

  ***

  Her horse was hurtling through the trees and then sliding down a hill, but Cassandra pushed him further. All she did, all she tried, all she fought for was to no avail. They did only what they wanted with no consideration for her or Elizabeth; they cared for nothing except their stupid rules.

  Elizabeth had said that Darcy was an honourable man—that he was no coward. She had spoken in jest, but her words brought to Cassandra’s mind the most painful recollection: her fight with David the morning after they spent the night together. His words resounded as if he were speaking to her that moment. “A gentleman must defend his honour and the honour of those for whom he cares; that is how things are, Cassandra, whether you like it or not. I will always protect you and Georgiana; you must know that. I will always do what is right for you, and so will Darcy for Miss Elizabeth.”

  That was where Darcy had gone; Cassandra was certain of it.

  He had gone to defend Elizabeth’s honour and did not confess the reason for his journey. It proved that he presumed Elizabeth would not agree. He must have known she would not allow him to leave, so he had lied.

  What rule of honour compels a man to lie to the person he loves and wants to protect? What sorts of rules were governing the life and behaviour of these brainless men? It was the same nightmare happening again, and she could do nothing to prevent it!

  Or maybe she could. Was it possible that Darcy would fight Markham that very day? Probably not—that kind of arrangement needed preparation. If only she could speedily reach Netherfield and leave for London without delay. Maybe there was still time.

  She became annoyed and impatient with the trees that prevented her riding as fast as she wished. Fortunately, she had almost reached the open field where nothing would delay her. Netherfield was in sight.

  ***

  Mrs. Bennet could not decide whether she was utterly happy or deeply distressed. What was this madness of having a double wedding?

  It must have been Lizzy’s wild idea; that girl always delighted in vexing her poor mother! How could she even consider forcing Mr. Darcy—whose worth was ten thousand a year—to share his wedding day with Mr. Bingley whose income was only five thousand a year? Ten thousand a year—and probably more! And he wanted to marry Lizzy!

  As Mr. Darcy’s presence for dinner was not to be expected, Mrs. Bennet lost interest in choosing the dishes for the courses, so she spent the day talking with Mrs. Gardiner and Jane. Lizzy did not join them as she was still sleeping, and Mrs. Bennet heartily approved; Lizzy must look as rested and beautiful as possible when Mr. Darcy returned.

  It was almost dinnertime when a servant announced the arrival of Mr. Bingley. Normally, Mrs. Bennet would have hurried to greet her future son-in-law, but this time she was too deep in conversation with Lizzy—who had recently joined them—about Mr. Darcy’s favourite dish.

  Jane invited him to sit, but the gentleman rejected any polite conversation.

  “I am afraid the reason for this visit is not a pleasant one, and remaining for dinner is completely out of the question. I only stopped by to ask if by any chance you have seen Lady Cassandra today. I—

  “I met Cassandra earlier today,” answered Elizabeth, moving closer to him. “Why do you ask, Mr. Bingley? Did anything happen? Is Cassandra well?”

  “I
am afraid I cannot answer you, Miss Elizabeth, as I have not seen her at all since the ball. I was only told she went riding early this morning, and she has not been seen since. Her horse returned to the stables some hours ago, but Lady Cassandra is nowhere to be found.”

  Chapter 19

  “You did not see her today at all? Has no one been worried about her missing before now? It is almost dinnertime!” Elizabeth’s voice was so reproachful that Bingley averted his eyes, embarrassed.

  “I…we…you are correct of course, Miss Elizabeth, but after the ball, everyone spent most of the day in their rooms. Only recently did Lady Cassandra’s maid approach me to ask if I knew where her mistress might be as she left the house quite early. She said her ladyship was wearing riding clothes and could not possibly remain dressed so for the entire day. We initiated a search of Netherfield, and the stable boy told me about her horse.”

  Mr. Gardiner offered his support in their quest.

  “Oh, brother—of course you must go! Oh, poor Lady Cassandra—she is so pleasant and so elegant. Oh, I hope nothing has happened to her! Mr. Bingley, why did the stable boy not speak sooner? I am quite vexed with your staff, I must say! He really must be scolded for this negligence—

  “Mrs. Bennet, let us try to calm ourselves, shall we?” Mr. Bennet said, though his own voice was neither calm nor tranquil.

  “How can I be calm? Last night I discovered my second daughter was engaged to be married and nobody told me beforehand! Now Lady Cassandra is missing! Oh, my poor nerves! And you Lizzy—why are you dressed for travelling? Where on earth are you going?”

  “With Mr. Bingley and my uncle! I know where I last met Cassandra and can easily find the way she must have taken on her ride back to Netherfield.”

  She sounded so determined that not even Mrs. Bennet attempted to change her mind. Mr. Bennet and Jane whispered a “Take care, Lizzy.”

  They walked for more than fifteen minutes, none of them speaking. Mr. Bingley tried to share some suggestions with Mr. Gardiner, as Elizabeth was unwilling to participate in their conversation. She could think of nothing except Cassandra’s expression the moment they separated, and she could not stop reproaching herself for being inconsiderate and selfish. She had returned to Longbourn and found all the comfort she needed in Darcy’s letter. She failed to send a servant to inquire after Cassandra to be sure she had reached Netherfield safely, and now Cassandra was missing! Cassandra—who was a most excellent rider as well as a good walker! She was unlikely to fall from a horse, and even if she did, she would have walked back to Netherfield—that is, if she were well enough to walk at all.

  A sudden din of voices interrupted Elizabeth’s thoughts; two of Netherfield’s servants appeared before them and ran toward their master.

  “Lady Cassandra has been found, sir,” they cried with great agitation.

  “She has been found? Show me to her immediately,” said Elizabeth.

  “I will go and fetch the doctor. I think I will be more useful that way,” said Mr. Gardiner.

  “Good, sir. I will try to find a way to get Lady Cassandra to Netherfield. I shall see you later then.”

  They reached the place where several servants from Netherfield were waiting, gathered around Lady Cassandra’s inert form. Elizabeth sobbed and knelt near Cassandra, touching her face, desperately trying to see whether she was still breathing. Her cheeks were pale, her hair splotched with grass and mud. She seemed lifeless; however, to Elizabeth’s relief, the worst had not happened. Tearfully, Elizabeth took Cassandra’s hand and caressed it; it was ice-cold. She called her name, but as expected, no answer came—not the slightest move. Hopeless, Elizabeth raised her eyes to search for help from Mr. Bingley, but he was busy giving orders to his servants, who obeyed instantly. Two of them rode in great haste toward Netherfield while Mr. Bingley removed his coat, knelt near Elizabeth, and covered Lady Cassandra.

  “She is frozen. She must have been lying here for hours,” he whispered.

  “We must take her to Netherfield without delay.”

  “Yes, but I do not know how to do it. We cannot possibly put her on horseback. I sent my men to bring some blankets, and we will put her on them as if she were on a bed. I saw a doctor do that once a few years ago.”

  “That is a good idea, sir—the best idea possible, I think.”

  “In the meantime, we should try to keep her warm.” He moved to the other side of Cassandra and took her hand. He was startled at how cold she felt. Exchanging a quick glance with Elizabeth, he understood they were both of one mind: if not from her injuries, Cassandra might well freeze to death.

  The servants returned with a carriage. Mr. Bingley arranged a blanket on the ground and, with infinite care, nudged Cassandra’s inert body upon it inch by inch, moving her as gently as possible. Finally, four servants took each corner of the blanket and lifted it, placing it carefully on the carriage floor. Again, Mr. Bingley took upon himself the task of driving the carriage as Elizabeth sat in the back, her eyes on Cassandra’s still form at her feet.

  The ride to Netherfield was blessedly brief. Cassandra was removed and transported toward her room. The doctor had yet to arrive.

  Georgiana was so pale and trembling that she could not speak; her desperate question was unspoken, but Elizabeth understood.

  “She is alive; I must go to her now. Will you come with me, Georgiana?” The girl’s grip on her hand was so forceful that no other confirmation was needed. Hands joined, they hurried to Cassandra’s room, precisely as the men who had carried her were returning, Mr. Bingley with them.

  “Lady Cassandra’s maid is with her; I will send the female servants to assist her, but I instructed she not be moved until the doctor arrives.”

  “I will help Janey,” Elizabeth interrupted. “So I think two more maids will be sufficient.”

  “I…I do not know what else I can do. I shall send a note to Mr. Bennet to inform him. Is there anything else I should do?” He received no reply as Elizabeth and Georgiana had already entered Cassandra’s room.

  ***

  The doctor had been with Lady Cassandra for an hour while all the others were gathered in the dining room.

  Jane had accepted with gratitude the invitation of Mr. Bingley that she and Elizabeth remain at Netherfield for as long as they wished. Blushing, she noticed the looks of exasperation exchanged between Mr. Bingley’s sisters and their obvious displeasure at the prospect of so many bothersome guests. Mrs. Gardiner knew she could be of little help except in offering comfort to her nieces and perhaps Miss Darcy; as Longbourn was close enough for daily visits, the Gardiners declined Mr. Bingley’s kind invitation but remained for the conclusion of the doctor’s examination.

  In the library, Mr. Bingley joined Mr. Hurst, Mr. Gardiner and Mr. Bennet, all of them partaking of more than one glass of brandy while waiting for the result of the doctor’s lengthy examination.

  Elizabeth barely heard a word. She was sitting by Georgiana, and the still trembling girl held her hand tightly as tears rolled silently down her cheeks.

  “I wonder why the doctor is taking so long,” asked Mrs. Hurst.

  “I believe he is examining Lady Cassandra carefully as any good doctor should,” Mrs. Gardiner replied, forcing herself to sound light-hearted as she smiled reassuringly at Georgiana.

  “Is he…is he a good doctor?” Georgiana finally replied.

  “Oh, he is as good as any country doctor can be,” Miss Bingley replied. “Surely you cannot expect him to be an expert, as his only patients have been the inhabitants of Meryton.”

  “He is a good doctor, Georgiana; have no fear,” whispered Elizabeth. “We must have faith, dearest. I am sure all will be well.”

  “But what if…Elizabeth, what if…? Oh, has William been informed? He must be told what has happened; he must be here to help Cassandra when she needs him. He would know which doctor is best for her…” She could scarcely continue as tears overwhelmed her.

  Caroline’s voice made the youn
g girl startle. “Georgiana, my dear, you really should not distress yourself so. I know Lady Cassandra is your friend, but really—her present injuries are the result of her own reckless and stubborn conduct. A lady should never ride with the men—having no care for etiquette or propriety—nor should she dash wildly across the fields. In truth, as my friend Miss Cardington has said many times, Lady Cassandra has much to learn of manners and language in order to display the requisite decorum. Perhaps this hard lesson will be useful after all.”

  Elizabeth’s furious eyes narrowed, and she took a deep breath before she attempted to speak normally. She had no time, however, for a reply as the door opened and Janey, Lady Cassandra’s maid, entered shyly.

  “What is it that you want, girl? Why are you disturbing us?” asked Miss Bingley, angrily.

  The servant turned pale and stepped back to leave but gained courage from Elizabeth’s inquiring glance and walked toward her.

  “Excuse me, Miss Elizabeth, you asked me to inform you when the doctor finished his examination. You said you would help me to…”

  “I certainly will, Janey! Did the doctor say anything?” Elizabeth and Janey had nearly reached the door, followed closely by Georgiana, when Miss Bingley’s voice stopped them.

  “Oh, come now, Miss Eliza, this is too much! You cannot possibly share the duties of Lady Cassandra’s maid; we do have enough servants at Netherfield to take care of an injured guest. Besides, I really think you should moderate your behaviour toward Lady Cassandra; you will be Mrs. Darcy soon, will you not? There is no need to attempt to impress either Georgiana or Mr. Darcy any longer; you have accomplished your goal.”

  Elizabeth released her hand from Georgiana’s and turned on her heels. In a few steps she was inches from Caroline’s chair. She looked down at her, her voice perfectly calm and composed.