Remembrance of the Past

by Lory Lilian

  ***

  As soon as the Miss Bennets together with Darcy and Bingley left, Netherfield’s inhabitants parted. Miss Bingley retired to her room with only a cold excuse to Georgiana and the colonel, and Mrs. Hurst followed her.

  “They do not seem very pleased to have us here,” Georgiana whispered. “Now that William is engaged, Miss Bingley does not seem as friendly as she used to be.” The colonel laughed.

  “I am pleased to see you are not affected by their incivility, dearest. You have changed,” he said affectionately.

  “If I have, I certainly hope you are not displeased with the change.”

  “No indeed—quite the contrary. I am happy to see you so much more confident and daring.”

  “I do feel I am somehow changed. I think it is the benefit of Elizabeth’s presence—and Cassandra’s.”

  “Just be careful to behave in the presence of Lady Catherine. She might not approve of these changes.”

  “Oh dear, did any of you announce the news of William’s engagement to Lady Catherine?”

  “Not exactly. Darcy only informed my parents when we were in London.”

  “I see. Were they displeased with the news?”

  “Well, I will not deny that my parents were surprised and not entirely happy with the news. You must know by now that they had some expectations for Darcy’s choice of wife—as for mine.”

  “Yes, I do know. I hope and pray my Aunt will come to like Elizabeth very soon.”

  “I am sure she will; Miss Elizabeth is the perfect choice for Darcy, and my mother will see that.”

  “I know Aunt is very fond of Cassandra,” Georgiana said meaningfully.

  “Dearest, let us focus on Darcy’s betrothed, shall we?”

  “I spoke to Cassandra early this morning, David. She told me everything.”

  He blinked in obvious surprise, and to Georgiana’s shock, she saw him blushing for the first time in her memory. “I am sorry—I truly am. But at least now you are able to understand things better.”

  “I do. I understand why she refused you, but I also understand that she needs you.”

  “It is for her to decide what she needs and desires. Let us not insist upon this subject, dearest,” the colonel concluded gently but decidedly.

  Georgiana averted her eyes and whispered, “She might be with child after…you know.”

  The colonel stared at her in shock and then hurried to pour himself a glass of wine. “Georgiana, I will not have such a conversation with my little cousin! Let us change the topic, shall we?”

  “Of course.”

  They remained in the music room for another hour, Georgiana at the pianoforte and the colonel turning pages for her; however, the tension of their unfinished conversation endured.

  It was late afternoon when they were interrupted by Mrs. Spencer’s entrance; she approached and handed the colonel a folded sheet of paper, which he took with a puzzled expression.

  A quick look at the page was enough to startle him and make him move toward the window, leaving an intrigued Georgiana staring at him from the instrument.

  Twice he read the short note—less than half a page long—and then finally met Georgiana’s eyes.

  “It is a note from Cassandra. She wishes to speak to me.”

  “I will remain here to practice a little more. Please tell Cassandra I shall see her later.”

  With hesitant fingers, Georgiana searched through the music sheets but was unable to find anything to her liking. When the door closed behind the colonel, she put all the music down and remained still, lost in her thoughts, unable to decide what she should do next.

  ***

  David had barely knocked when the door opened and Mrs. Spencer invited him in.

  “David,” said Cassandra with a gentle, pleading voice, “thank you for coming.”

  “I…you said you wished to speak to me. Are you well?”

  “I am perfectly well, thank you. Please take a seat close to me. I cannot see you from here.” Her voice was so soft that David hesitated before obliging her. Something must be wrong, he thought.

  “Are you sure you are feeling well? You do look much better.”

  “Indeed, I am much better. I only wish to apologise for my unfair and cruel outburst yesterday and to thank you for your care and devotion. Allow me to express my gratitude for—

  “Cassandra, please stop this. No gratitude is needed. I accept your apologies, though most of your reproaches were deserved; I should not have stayed in your room without your consent.”

  “You were here only to help me.”

  “No, I was here for a selfish reason; I could not bear from afar the worry and uncertainty of knowing you were unconscious. That is the truth, and I deserve your anger. I should have respected your privacy.”

  “I thank you nevertheless. And you are right,” she admitted, “I would be uncomfortable with anyone seeing me in such a state. I can only imagine how horrible I must have appeared.”

  “I truly hope you are speaking in jest, Cassandra. Do you believe that any of us spent time considering your appearance?” He was puzzled and obviously displeased with her assumption.

  “Surely you understand what I mean, David.”

  “I most assuredly do not. Am I to presume that appearance is more important to you than health or life itself?”

  She startled and stared at him, turning even more pale. “I do not deserve that.”

  He frowned and, not knowing what to do with his hands, brought his fists together.

  “No, you do not deserve that…forgive me. Is there anything else you want to discuss, or should I let you rest now before I manage to ruin your spirits completely?”

  “I was wondering…” He waited for her to continue—hopeful and fearful at the same time—but she remained silent. She appeared distressed and inhibited as never before.

  “Cassandra, what is the matter?”

  “You did nothing to stop the duel,” she suddenly burst out furiously. “After everything I told you, it was still not enough for you to consider it.”

  “I am well aware that both you and Miss Bennet are angry with me for this incident. I do not wish to argue with you, nor do I want to distress you. I am only being honest. Nothing will change my opinion that Darcy behaved as any honourable man should in his situation. Of course I supported him.”

  “He—or you—could have been hurt, maybe murdered.”

  “No, indeed. We knew Markham to be a cowardly man, so we were prepared to confront him.”

  Cassandra remained angry and pale, and could no longer tolerate his gaze. She averted her eyes and turned to the fire in an attempt to dismiss him.

  “Cassandra, I told you some time ago that it is a gentleman’s duty to protect those he loves; that is simply how it is. No matter what occurs in the future—if you never speak to me again—I will still watch over you and do everything in my power to protect you.”

  Their eyes locked again and battled silently for a time—David, immovable in his determination, Cassandra, pale and powerless, lying against the pillows, biting her lower lip to conceal her turmoil.

  “You are right; I should rest now. I am very tired,” she finally said.

  He rose to obey but barely took a few steps before she called his name. He stopped.

  “David, thank you for your care.”

  He nodded, walked further, and then stopped again, looking down at her. To her surprise, he sat close to her bed.

  “Cassandra, may I speak honestly? I do not wish to distress you even more, so please tell me if I should leave.”

  “We have always spoken honestly to each other, so please do,” she whispered.

  “Very well, then. I understand you must be uncomfortable with my presence here. However, I must stay for Darcy’s wedding; I promised him as much.”

  “Please do not consider leaving because of me. You have more right to be here than I. You are Darcy’s cousin.”

  “And you are his lifelong frien
d. He surely needs you as much. However, it is not a matter of rights. For me, your wishes are more important, so I would like you to put aside our differences and tell me what you want me to do.” She turned her eyes to the fire, and then returned her gaze to him.

  “I cannot offer you an answer now—

  “No, no, you misunderstand me! I am not insisting upon that subject any longer. In fact, that is precisely what I wanted to speak to you about: my insistence. I know everything happened unexpectedly—my confession, my proposal and everything that occurred afterwards—and now your accident. I have considered only my feelings and desires, but that will change from now on.”

  He paused a moment. His eyes still looked into hers, carefully searching her astonished expression.

  “I shall not insist upon this matter any further. My feelings and wishes are not a secret to you, and they will never change. As for your own feelings—you must determine them. It is your decision whether I ever raise the subject between us again. I will not require an immediate answer; your health is all that matters for the moment. I can wait as long as necessary! Unless you tell me there is nothing to wait for…”

  David looked at Cassandra hesitantly, fearing another harsh reply. She had told him frequently not to hope or wait. She would likely repeat her declaration—and then how would he dare continue?

  “Thank you for your patience. I promise I shall give you an answer as soon as I am certain of one.”

  He was shocked in a pleasant way; his burning stare was the evidence. For a few moments, he could not find the words to respond. Her forced smile seemed finally to break his silence.

  “Good…” was all he said and she smiled. He rose halfway and then sat again. She laughed lightly.

  He seemed disconcerted for a moment and then smiled back at her. “Cassandra, I…I shall leave you now; you must rest. Georgiana said she would visit you later.”

  “Very well…”

  He rose and hurried to the door; from there, he turned to look at her once more—and was gone.

  Cassandra’s eyes remained fixed on the door; she did not notice the tears coursing over her cheeks.

  ***

  Caroline Bingley did not leave her room that morning. She was in the worst mood ever and could not abide the happy faces around her. Fortunately, Jane and Eliza Bennet had left the house the previous day. She could not tolerate them any longer! As for Lady Cassandra—although Caroline was not pleased to see her hurt, she was indeed relieved that she was confined to her room and would likely remain so until the wedding. What a torture to have Lady Cassandra around the house day after day!

  On her little desk were spread the letters she had received from her friends, Miss Cardington and Lady Sophia. She finished her own missive to the latter and looked at it with great satisfaction. Yes, that was the best solution: she would accompany Lady Sophia on her tour! There was no better way to put behind her everything that had happened than an extended tour with a well-known member of the ton. There would certainly be many opportunities to meet desirable and worthy gentlemen—to be sure!

  She had not said anything to Charles and did not plan to tell him yet. He did not deserve that much consideration after he had supported Eliza Bennet against his own sister!

  ***

  Mr. Bennet was content at last! Following weeks of difficulties—the frightening incidents with his beloved Lizzy and later with Lady Cassandra, and day after day of complaints and cries from his wife—he was relaxing in the perfect solitude of his library with one of his favourite books.

  Mrs. Bennet—together with Mary and Kitty—was calling on Lady Lucas, while Elizabeth and Jane were visiting at Netherfield. Mr. Bennet smiled to himself, feeling gratitude and affection. His elder daughters had been indeed fortunate in their choice of husbands. He knew for certain they would both be happy—though in different ways. Yes, Mr. Bennet was enormously content.

  As he read, enjoying his favourite port, he could not but wonder at how blissful silence was. The day was perfect. Unfortunately, as with other happy moments in the past, the silence was short-lived. Less than two hours later, thunder fell upon the house in the form of an annoying, female voice. It took Mr. Bennet only an instant to determine that it was not his wife; Mrs. Bennet’s tone—though frequently loud and tiresome—was ten times more agreeable, he thought.

  He could hear “the voice” approaching and Hill’s unsuccessful attempt to stop her with pleading requests to wait until she was announced to the master of the house.

  “I shall not wait! Do not dare ask me to wait! I demand to speak with him this instant! Where is he?”

  That was the last thing Mr. Bennet heard before his library door was unceremoniously thrown open, and a lady whose stature was as imposing as her voice barged in. She remained close to the door, peering around with unconcealed disdain and apparent concern for her own safety.

  “I suppose you are Mr. Bennet! What a small, uncomfortable library you have here.”

  Mr. Bennet laid his book on the table and politely rose to greet his guest, a smile of satisfaction spreading over his face. What an incredible moment, worthy to be noted down and kept among the most treasured family mementos—close to Mr. Collins’s memorable visit from last autumn. Yes, the day had enormous potential, and it would certainly prove more diverting than any book of farce.

  “Yes, madam. I am Mr. Bennet and very honoured to receive your ladyship in my humble abode. Without any doubt, you must be Lady Catherine de Bourgh—the noble patroness of my cousin, Mr. Collins!”

  “I am indeed, sir, but I have no time for civilities. I wish to speak to your daughter, Elizabeth.”

  “I am afraid that would be impossible, as none of my daughters is home at the moment. But may I take the liberty of asking your ladyship whether you left Mr. and Mrs. Collins in good health?”

  ”They were perfectly well.”

  “Does Mr. Collins still visit your ladyship daily? I understood the parsonage is quite close to Rosings.”

  “It is indeed, but that is not the purpose of my visit.”

  “Oh, I am sorry. May I ask the purpose of your visit, then?”

  “To speak to your daughter. Where exactly is she?”

  “I am afraid I have to inquire about the nature of your business with my daughter before answering further.”

  “Oh, you can be at no loss to understand the reason for my journey hither. A report of a most alarming nature reached me two days ago, and I came to insist that rumour be universally contradicted!”

  “To what is your ladyship referring? I do not have the pleasure of understanding you.”

  “I am talking of the rumour that your daughter is engaged to my nephew! Though I know it must be a scandalous falsehood, I instantly resolved on setting off for this place, that I might make my sentiments known to you all.”

  “Lady Catherine, thank you for making your sentiments so well and clearly known, but I am still at a loss as to what I can do to help you. This rumour might be scandalous, but it is not at all a falsehood. The engagement was made public in front of a hundred people, and Mr. Darcy himself seemed unusually pleased with it.”

  “Of course he seemed pleased, as your daughter—with her arts and allurements—has made him forget his duty to his family! But I will tell you what you can do—what an honourable father should do—you should advise your daughter not to aspire to quit the sphere in which she has been brought up.”

  “Sphere? What sphere?” Mr. Bennet asked genuinely. In truth, he had not been so diverted in years.

  “Your family’s sphere!”

  “I am afraid we do not have a sphere, Lady Catherine. Longbourn is nothing to Rosings, I know...”

  Lady Catherine stared at him, her mouth gaping in shock.

  “Mr. Bennet, you ought to know that I am not to be trifled with. Do you know who I am? I am Darcy’s closest relative!”

  “I do know that; you are also Mr. Collins’s noble patroness, as I had the honour to be informed las
t autumn. I can see your ladyship is somehow displeased with my obtuseness, but I still do not understand how I may help you, as we now agree that we do not possess a sphere at Longbourn!”

  “Mr. Bennet, I can see this marriage to be profitable for you all. You desire it because Mr. Collins will inherit the estate should your demise occur, and your wife and daughters will be homeless.

  “Well, let us hope I survive a little longer.”

  “This marriage will never take place as Mr. Darcy is engaged to my daughter! What do you have to say now?”

  “I am truly shocked, your ladyship! He is engaged to your daughter, too? When exactly did the event occur?”

  “Their engagement is of a peculiar nature—it was the dearest wish of his mother and me since they were infants.”

  “Now I am truly puzzled, your ladyship. Mr. Darcy’s engagement to my daughter is of a common nature, and it appeared to be his dearest wish—and hers. This seems a hopeless situation to me, and I see no satisfactory resolution to it. But let us sit and have some refreshments. Mr. Darcy will arrive soon as he spends most of his time here. That would be a good time to demand an explanation from him.”

  “I will certainly not stay and have refreshments with you, sir! I am most displeased with you, as I can see you are as unreasonable and inconsiderate as I remember your daughter to be last spring. But you must understand that I came here with the determined resolution of carrying out my purpose and will not be dissuaded from it.”

  “I am sorry to ask once more, but what is your purpose again? I am still not clear on that aspect—

  “I want this engagement to be broken and any understanding annulled! Are you clear now?”

  “I am indeed. I thank you for your kind explanation. Should I call for those refreshments now? And perhaps a glass of wine? It does miracles for a lady’s nerves; I can testify to that.”