See How She Runs

by Michelle Graves

  “I’ve got you. I promise, I’m not going anywhere," he whispered into my hair.

  How was it that in the past week my whole life changed? My mother wasn’t dead. My dreams were her, trying to warn me. There was someone after me for a reason I’d yet to discover. I felt as though the past twenty-four years of my life had been a lie. I needed to know more. I needed to feel like I had at least a semblance of control over my life. And on top of everything, Kennan was being too nice. It was freaking me out. I took a steadying breath and sat up. It was time I got my head wrapped around all of this.

  “Who am I, Kennan and what are you to me? I need to know everything. Is my dad alive somewhere strapped to a bed like she is?” He took a steadying breath and looked my face over as if he were searching for information.

  “Izzy, there is so much I need to tell you. You’re safe here. They can’t reach you. This is one of our safe houses. But first things first, I need to tell you the histories. I need to tell you about your parents. I need to tell you about your Grams, Mike, and me."

  He looked at me as if I would bolt at any second. Which, I supposed if I had any sense at all I would be doing. But I kept hearing the echoes of my mother’s voice telling me he was the only one I could trust, so I held firm.

  Kennan started slowly, as if reluctant to rid himself of the secrets that had been his companions for so many years.

  “Your dad and I were best friends, Iz. I’ve known him since we were both boys. We grew up together. We trained together. We were brothers in everything but blood. I would’ve died in his place if I could. But none of that matters. What does matter is that he died trying to save you and your mother. He protected you when you couldn’t protect yourself. He loved you both more than I’ve ever seen any one person love another."

  I stared at him, obviously confused. So I got the whole Guardian thing, but now the whole vampire thing seemed more plausible. There was no way that Kennan could be the same age as my father. It was unfathomable. My father had graying hair and crow’s feet around his eyes from smiling too much. My confusion must’ve been evident. The next words out of Kennan’s mouth confirmed there were things about the story that I would have a much harder time believing.

  “I’ll explain it all with the histories. But first, you need to know what happened to you and your mother, and how you came into our protection. Your story really started on that day, that horrible day all of those years ago, the day of the wreck. It was a trap set up by Xavier’s people. He’d been searching for your mother for a long time. Your parents thought they were safe in that hole-in-the-wall town in Alabama. Your mother learned to hide her talents. Your father took up a job and an appearance that was completely average. But they found them anyway. They sabotaged the car. It flipped 5 times before it came to a rest out in that peanut field. You all survived the initial wreck, surprisingly.”

  I couldn’t stand it anymore. His story was completely different from my own memories.

  “I was not in that car Kennan. I was at home with a sitter.”

  His eyes were becoming more withdrawn with suffering by the moment.

  “You were there. I know, because I saved you and ran. When the car came to a rest, your mother took your memories of it and replaced them with what you remember. Your father, in an effort to save you lowered the seat in the back and put you in the trunk of the car. He sent me a message telling me where you were. When they came, your parents told them you were no longer with them. They shot your father and took your mother. When I got there he was barely alive. But he told me where you were. He told me where to take you and he told me to keep you safe. They made it so that once I found you, you wouldn’t remember.”

  I couldn’t stop the flow of tears as the long repressed memories came rushing to the surface. I could hear the crush of metal, as my mother’s soothing voice told me everything would be okay. My father told me it was time to play the quiet mouse game before getting me secured in the trunk. I remembered trying to breathe calmly as the walls of the trunk seemed to move in on me infinitesimally as the seconds ticked on. Then out of the darkness came the blurry visage of Kennan.

  I tried to pull myself back to the present and turned my attention back to something I could handle.

  “So what about Grams, and Mike, and you? How do you fit into this story? Why did they want my mother so badly?”

  “Grams and Mike are part of the safety net. They aren’t like me, but they’ve all lost family to the Corporation. They’ve both felt the brunt of pain that could’ve been prevented. Pain caused to gain profit. So Grams took you in. She loved you like you were her own. She had the power to mask your presence, which is why you were kept safe all of the years you were with her. Mike lost both of his sons to the Corporation. They were collateral damage. So Mike, much like Grams, kept an eye on you when I could not. I only came back into the picture after Grams died because I promised your father I’d keep you safe. The closer it got to your twenty-fifth birthday, the more danger you were in. As much as it pained me to be close to you with the constant reminder of what was lost, I couldn’t deny the oath I made to your father. So I stayed, and then you became mine.”

  “I don’t understand. Everything you say brings up more questions than answers. You say that you and my father were childhood friends. But he was so much older than you. You talk about this Corporation and how they’re run by people like you. But where does my mother fit in and why do they want me? What does it mean that I’m yours?”

  “It’s getting late Iz, you’ve already had a lot to take in. Are you sure you want to hear all of this tonight?"

  He ran his hand down his face, as if he could wash away the memories that our discussion had brought to the surface.

  “I need to know, Kennan. If I am ever going to figure out what in the hell to do, I have to have answers. My mom has been talking to me in my dreams, for crying out loud. I lied when I told you I wasn’t having them anymore. She was telling me to run. But I thought it was just a dream. Just now, when I passed out I saw her Kennan. She was right there in front of me. She’s wasting away to nothing and they have her strapped to a table like some sort of lab experiment. How can I leave her like that? And he was there. How did he get in my dreams Kennan, can he hurt me there?”

  His eyes became serious and filled with a sort of rage I’d never seen before. It scared me and brought me peace simultaneously.

  “What do you mean he was there? And I already knew you were still having the dreams. I dream what you dream, Iz. I have since I became your Guardian. But I didn’t see this one which means you are starting to have the visions. Tell me everything you saw.”

  I unloaded everything that had passed between my mother and I, and the inky shadow that skirted around the edges of the vision. I told him the warning that was meant to be passed on, and the overwhelming since of desperation and fear that I’d felt coming from my mother. By the time I’d finished retelling my vision I felt like an empty husk of what I’d once been. My optimism was quickly replaced by fear and uncertainty.

  “Can we make some coffee or something Kennan? I need to hear the rest of this, but I’m running on like zero right now. I need something to fuel this insanity."

  I started to stand up and move back toward the living room, not really knowing how we’d gotten to my bedroom in the first place. My legs felt like jelly the minute I put my weight on them. Kennan steadied me with his strong hands. The hands I assumed were calloused from opening beer bottles, but now I wasn’t quite so sure. Hell, if I was being honest, I wasn’t real sure of anything at this point.

  “Come on Red, let’s get you caffeinated. There’s still a long story to tell. You still need the histories."

  His smile lacked its normally electric charge but it did serve to steady me.

  I found comfort in the fact that I was still seeing the real Kennan. He hadn’t placed himself back under the illusion he’d been carefully maintaining for so long. He still had that funny lilt
to his accent that I’d never noticed before. But somehow I knew all of the answers were coming. There was more that was yet to be revealed.

  After the coffee was made, Kennan added more wood to the fire, poking it with the metal stick once more to stoke the coals. He grabbed a quilt from the end of the sofa and brought it to me. I instantly recognized the patchwork quilt as one of my mother’s making. He draped it over my bent knees and sat down close to me, seemingly afraid to let me stray too far. I sipped my coffee as he started in with the cadence of a story teller.

  “We’ve been here for as long as the world has had people, Izzy. We’ve been called many things throughout history; sorcerers, magicians, shifters, and soldiers to name a few. We’ve populated all corners of the world, living with people and blending in. We’ve been mistaken for Druids many times over as well. Our origins come from the same area, but we are much older. At least the Old Ones are. Our purpose is to protect those that have the ability to predict and shift the fates, to make sure you don’t fall into the hands of those that would abuse the power. Back then it was so much easier to find the Seers. Now, with the world being as big as it is, and all of the hype about psychics it’s hard to find a true Seer. But it runs in the female blood line. The minute your mother found out she was carrying a female child she put a protection plan in place for you. Are you following so far?”

  “Sort of, as best I can I suppose. But I don’t understand the whole Guardian and Seer relationship. You say my dad was a Guardian and that you were friends when you were children. How is any of that possible?”

  “Guardians are very old, unmentionably old beings. Part of our makeup is engineered so that once we meet our Seer, the one we were sent here to protect, we start to age at the same rate as the Seer. So when your father met your mother, he began to age. We all grow to be about 30 years old, and then we stay at that age until we meet our Seer. Our purpose is to help you in any way we can. We’re here to physically protect you as well as guard you from the madness that can become a problem in some Seers.”

  He looked at me as if he didn’t want to reveal my parent’s story.

  “Your mother and father were unlike any other match I’ve ever seen. The love they shared is the sort the bards used to dream up. I was jealous at first, but once I met her I understood. Your mother took me in like part of the family. Even as I watched my best friend age, I knew that she would never make me part with him. I was there for all of the big moments of your life when you were young as well. I know you don’t remember, and it is probably just as well. The older you got, the more I felt a peculiar pull towards you. So I left when you were about five. I stayed away after that. I didn’t understand that you were who I was sent here to protect. You’re mine.”

  “So how old are you exactly, Kennan? And what does it mean that I’m yours? I don’t really like the idea of being a thing that someone can own you know." I said the last with a hint of sarcasm. I could not stand how heavy everything was starting to feel. There was some kind of subtext that he was trying to intone, but I was just too overwhelmed to understand.

  “I don’t know how old I am. My memories are so long and full that sometimes I even forget when I was first born. I can tell you that I was alive for the rise and fall of the Roman Empire. I was born as a Celt, hence that lingering accent I can’t quite rid myself of. Some days I have wished that I could die in some freak accident, but then I would stop myself. I knew I couldn’t betray my calling.”

  He hesitated before continuing on, as if he were weighing his words carefully.

  “I don’t own you, Izzy. I don’t think you will ever let anyone truly own any part of you. There is a reason you never let anyone in. All Seers are born with a sense of self preservation. I was shocked when you agreed to let me move in with you. I didn’t even have to influence you that much.”

  There were so many things in there that I was just not ready to face. He had manipulated me and maneuvered me so that he could live with me. Then there was the nonsense about not letting people in; I felt like I’d let him in. Then again, maybe everything we’d had together was a lie that had been engineered to gain access. How could I trust him now? Were all of our times hanging out together based on his sense of duty, or did he really see me as a friend?

  As the questions raged inside my head, he told me about the Corporation. How hundreds of years ago some of the Guardians became what he called “right greedy bastards” and broke off from their directorate. They started seeking out Seers and forcing them to tell them about natural disasters and wars. They went into the business of raking in insurance claims from the victims of the very catastrophes they could have prevented. The closest they ever came to being caught was after Katrina. But even then, they were careful. The Corporation sent money and arms to militaries, regardless of the faction, as long as it would be the victor in the end.

  By the time he finished I was breathless. These were the people that had my mother. The bastards had her strapped to a machine twisting her God given talents into something corrupt. I couldn’t stomach it. This was it. I’d finally reached the point of breaking. I ran to the bathroom and emptied my stomach.

  Kennan came in silently behind me and wet a cloth for me. I collapsed against the toilet as another wave of tears assaulted me. It was all too much. How would I ever stand up against these people? I might have some spunk to me, but I had no way to fight off trained killers. I felt as though my ship had been set adrift, and the waves had stripped me of my compass.

  I looked up at Kennan who was leaning against the bathroom door waiting for me to pull myself together again. I looked at him and I didn’t know how I was supposed to go on like nothing had changed between us. This was the man that my mother promised I could trust, but one I didn’t truly know. He must have read it in my eyes because his eyes mirrored my sadness.

  “I think we better get some rest now, Izzy. Tomorrow is your birthday and tomorrow is when everything really starts to change. I’m sorry for lying to you. I’m sorry for scaring you and dragging you out here tied to a seat and for drugging you. But I need to know that you are with me on this. If you run, they can and will find you. I know I have no right to ask, but I am asking. Trust me?”

  I looked at him, my best friend for the past two years. The man that had taken care of me, had fed me, and made me laugh. The man that had also, incidentally, kidnapped me. I was having difficulty resolving that person with the man standing in front of me. I wasn’t stupid enough to believe I would be able to make it out there on my own. Not when they could get into my head and pull information out. Not with what had happened to my mother.

  “For now." It was all I was capable of offering.

  He reached down to pull me up and tucked me under his arm like he had a thousand times before. This time there was no comfort. I felt cold and hollow. Even as he kissed me on the head and shut the bedroom door I felt empty. I dreaded what sleep might bring.

  **********

  EIGHT

  That night my dreams were filled with images of my childhood: my father standing in the backyard smiling with a friend; an entirely too-tall man with tattoos pushing me on the swing; my mother smiling down upon me as she read me a bedtime story. It was an accumulated parade of phantoms, long forgotten.

  The last memory transported me back to the trunk of the car, where my head was pounding, and I looked around to see nothing but blackness. I could feel the trunk pressing down towards me as if it would crush me at any moment. The air tasted stale and I heard voices.

  “Promise me you will take her and protect her. Promise me, brother. It is the only thing I can think of. They are after her, not Moira."

  “Rest, brother,” a familiar voice replied. “Your suffering is over now. I’ll find her and I vow to protect her."

  I heard a final, deep sigh as my father drew in his last breath, and the trunk opened with a screech of reluctant metal. I blinked up at the face of a man that I knew all too well.

 
I awoke with Kennan shaking my shoulders. He was broken out in a cold sweat that mirrored my own. He looked at me with haunted eyes.

  “Enough Izzy, enough," he barely breathed as he rested his forehead against mine.

  All the while, I struggled to pull myself back to the present. No wonder I was terrified of closed spaces. I still felt the residual fear of being trapped in that stagnant place. I shuddered releasing the breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding. I looked up into his eyes. This man so familiar and so foreign, and I truly didn’t know what he was to me. I averted my gaze and tried to pull myself together as he sat up.

  I remembered his words from earlier. He dreamed what I dreamed. So he was there with me. He saw my morbid parade of happiness that was taken away too soon. Of a family robbed from me by greedy men. I looked over at the clock and saw that it was five am.

  I was officially twenty five, and it was officially the worst birthday ever. I sat up on the bed as Kennan moved his mountainous self over to make room for me. We sat in silence for a long time. I could feel him staring at me, waiting for whatever I might say.

  So, I said the only thing I could. “What now?”

  “Now we train, Izzy. Now I teach you how to keep yourself from going mad with the visions that will start coming. And perhaps most importantly, I am going to teach you how to defend yourself. If something ever happens to me, I need to know that you can protect yourself. But first, I am going to feed you breakfast.”

  We looked at each other a moment longer, my feelings of uncertainty mirrored back at me in his eyes. Neither of us was willing to venture into that territory. Instead, we came to an unspoken truce. He was my Guardian and I was his Seer, for better or worse. I giggled at the thought, causing Kennan to look at me with questioning eyes.

  “I was just thinking, we’re together until death do us part, for better or worse. Just the other night I was making fun of Marky, yet here we are. Just as committed. Oh how I wish I could eat my snarky comments now. Universe one, Izzy zero." I let out another snicker as I made my way to the bathroom before Kennan could say anything.