Beefcakes

by Katana Collins

  “Six forty-five.”

  “Very well.” He paused. “Anything else?”

  “Put that toilet seat down, mister.”

  He laughed. “That one, I know. I grew up with a sister, remember?”

  My smile grew. I had missed this. Missed Neil. It had never been like this with Brad. Not even when we were at our happiest did I feel the flutter of butterflies quite like this. Butterflies weren’t just in my stomach around Neil… they were in my veins. Alive and coursing through my entire body. Neil brought a smile to my face in a way that no one else had ever managed to in my whole life. “One more thing. Half the nights, I sleep on the couch. You take the bedroom.”

  His grin faltered. “We could both take the bedroom, you know?”

  I gasped and clutched imaginary pearls. “Neil Evans,” I said in an exaggerated southern drawl. “I am a lady.”

  He pushed off the counter, leaving the coffee mugs on the counter next to the coffee maker, and slowly sauntered into the TV room. “Well, I’m afraid that’s the one item I can’t concede on. You take the bedroom. I’ll sleep out here. Besides, the couch really is quite comfortable.” He fell back onto it, grabbing a bottle of beer that I hadn’t noticed had been sitting on the table beside him. A ring of water was left on the dark wood table… not that Neil seemed to notice.

  I slid a coaster beneath his beer just as he was setting it back down and he paused, eyebrow raised at me.

  I rolled my eyes and pointed to the table. “This is beautiful walnut wood and you’re going to ruin it,” I said.

  At his arched brow, my smile faltered. This was what Brad was talking about, wasn’t it? The control freak behavior and my constant need to manage everyone and everything in my life. It was just second nature. “I’m sorry,” I whispered. “It’s your walnut table and if you want to ruin it… you can.” God, even my apology sucked.

  He set the bottle down on the coaster, nodding. “Guess I hadn’t thought of that. But you’re right. It’s a beautiful table. Would be a shame to ruin it with watermarks.”

  He smiled at me and jerked his head toward the bedroom. “Wanna go get settled, then share a beer with me?” He patted the couch beside him. “See for yourself how comfortable it is so that you’re not worrying about me all night.” He sent me a wink that left a lone butterfly flapping in my stomach. Who the hell was I right now? I wasn’t the girl who swooned. I was the girl who made spreadsheets and pros and cons lists and thought out plans in painful detail.

  I released my hold on the luggage and went to the fridge, grabbing a beer and popping the cap off before sitting down at the other far end of the couch, leaving a few feet between us.

  I needed that few feet. I actually needed a few miles, if I was being honest, and I didn’t trust myself for a second under the same roof as Neil. Too much had happened between us. We had too much history, and frankly? Too many feelings were resurfacing the more time we spent together.

  It was unnerving as hell.

  I picked at the corner of my beer label, slowly peeling it off. “Remember when we used to talk about living together?”

  His soft, rumbling chuckle had my already mushy insides melting. His laugh had always been sexy. Low and deep with the perfect amount of gravelly rasp. “Oh, I remember. We were going to have a home in every type of climate and landscape. We talked about owning a lake cottage, just like this one. A Manhattan penthouse. An LA beach house…”

  I laughed and leaned back on the couch, hiking up my foot beneath me and turning to face him. “And a mountain home in Colorado.” I sighed. “Wow. Not sure how we thought we were going to be multi-millionaires, but we had some big plans.”

  Neil’s chuckle faded with a soft sigh and he slid over one cushion. Those few feet of distance we’d had shrunk to one foot. Twelve little inches now separated us, and I took a gulp of beer, even though I hated the taste of beer.

  His hand draped over mine, and I saw blue frosting tucked into the cuticles of both our nailbeds. “I also remember how, anytime you were uncomfortable at a high school party, you would sit in the corner and peel the label of your beer until the bottle was perfectly clean.”

  His fingers tightened around my hand and gave a small squeeze. “If you’re uncomfortable here, please speak up.” His voice lowered to a hoarse whisper, and when I dared to look to my right, I was caught by his intensely emerald eyes. A sad smile flicked at the corner of his mouth. “There’s a window in that bedroom,” he whispered. “We can get you a room in a cabin next door, and every night I can help you through that window and walk you over there.”

  My eyes fluttered closed, and a chuckle escaped through my pursed lips. “I’m fine, Neil,” I reassured him. “Really. Sure… it’s a little strange, but it’s kind of nice. In a way, I get to live out a teenage fantasy of living with you. Even if we’re not going to share a bed.”

  That sad expression of his lifted nearly imperceptibly. But I noticed it. I always noticed it. Neil wasn’t exactly an emotive guy. But I could always read him. Sure, this was moving a little faster than I was prepared for, but if my relationship with Brad taught me anything, it was that maybe I needed to take more risks in life. Be a little less predictable.

  I bit my lip and leaned in to kiss him.

  “Wait,” Neil whispered, his hand sliding over my jaw. “Cameras.” He jerked his head toward the corner of the room where, sure enough, a small black orb, no bigger than a quarter, rested on a table with a dim red light facing us directly.

  “I don’t care,” I said and leaned forward, pressing my mouth to his.

  He groaned, and his hands on my jaw slipped to the back of my neck, kneading my tight muscles. He tugged me closer, his tongue brushing gently across my lips and I opened to him with a sigh. It was the only time in my whole life, I liked the taste of beer.

  Our kiss ended, and when he pulled back, he brushed his thumb over my bottom lip. “Elaina, I need you to know, I’m here. I’m in this.” His thumb moved from my bottom lip to caress my face across my cheekbone.

  I couldn’t keep my eyes open, and my lashes fluttered against the tops of my cheeks, hitting his thumb as I leaned into his touch. “I mean it,” he continued. “I’ve spent ten years missing you. Ten years of dating women and comparing the time spent with them to our year together… and they always fell short. I’m done with that. I want you, Elaina. I want what we had in high school… only better. I want it all, the good, the bad, the mundane daily tasks, and the adventures.”

  I sucked in a sharp breath, my heart fluttering. It was everything I wanted to hear… ten years too late. I gulped. But… was it too late? Neither of us was mature enough at eighteen. Maybe we needed that time apart to grow up and prepare us for this… here… now. But I couldn’t help that niggling feeling at the base of my stomach. Like a little mouse burrowing, a nagging, scratchy feeling. “I want to believe you,” I said. “So badly. But, Neil… you broke my heart. You left and didn’t bother to say goodbye.”

  He winced. “That was a long time ago, Lainey. I’m a different man now.”

  I brought my bottom lip between my teeth and inhaled a deep breath. “It was a long time ago,” I repeated carefully. “But the sting of your first broken heart changes you. Sometimes that pain never goes away entirely. I—I became a different person after you left. My heart hardened. Not just toward you… but toward everyone.”

  Moisture filled his eyes and he jerked his gaze to mine. “I’m so sorry.” His voice was a raspy whisper. “I know I have a lot to make up for. A lot to prove to you. But you have to know… I’ve changed, too. I was a dumb kid who was embarrassed that I wasn’t going to graduate high school. I was failing math and wasn’t going to graduate. And my teacher propositioned me—promised to pass me in her class if I… if we…” his voice cracked, and he shook his head, dropping his gaze. “I didn’t take her up on it… obviously. I thought about reporting her, but back then, I didn’t think anyone would believe me. It was her word against mine. And if I�
�m being honest, I felt guilty. I felt ashamed and guilty, even though I hadn’t done the propositioning. And, on top of everything, I was embarrassed that I wasn’t going to graduate. I couldn’t face anyone in this town… let alone you. The smartest person I’d ever met. The girl I loved. The girl who could party until four in the morning and ace a test the next day in class. When I couldn’t even graduate without trading my dick for a passing grade.”

  I was completely and utterly speechless. I wanted to find that teacher and report her, get her thrown in jail if the statute of limitations hadn’t already passed. Most of all… I had no idea about any of this. I always thought it was strange the way he’d left without graduating. Who would do all that work… get through all four years of school… only to walk away right before receiving a diploma? “Neil.” I grasped either side of his face and dropped my forehead to his. “I’m so sorry that happened to you. That’s so terrible. I wouldn’t have been disappointed in you, though. Not for that.”

  “I was eighteen and dumb. How would I have known that? And then in Boston, I found you, months later, after I passed my GED. I was starting the winter semester at Mass Art and finally felt worthy of you again.”

  A harsh breath pushed from my lips, and my heart cracked. Worthy of me? I hated that he’d felt that way. And if I had done anything to make him think he needed to go into higher education in order to deserve me, then maybe I had been just as much of an asshole as he had.

  “But when I found you at Harvard… you just looked so happy. I showed up on campus and waited outside of your dorm with a bouquet of lilies. That’s when I saw you. You came barreling out of your dorm with a girlfriend, throwing your head back, laughing. I wanted to run to you. Wrap my arms around you. But then, a guy came up behind you, and you turned to him and gave him that hug I wanted. He buried his face in your neck. And your smile—your smile was so bright. So happy. I couldn’t do it. It felt cruel to come in and disrupt the new life you had built. So, I waited until you left and asked someone entering the dorm to prop the lilies outside of your door for you.”

  I gasped, pressing my palm to my mouth. “You sent the mystery lilies? I always wondered where they came from. When I asked Brad, he had taken credit for them… but I knew he didn’t send them. He claimed they were pink, but they were—”

  “White,” Neil answered. He inhaled and let the breath go slowly. “Well, now you know. If you’re willing to give me a second chance, I won’t waste it.”

  I held his gaze for a long moment before answering. “You’ll never leave without saying goodbye again?”

  He laced his fingers in mine and squeezed. “I’ll do you one better and never say goodbye again.”

  I snickered and rolled my eyes. “That’s a little melodramatic. When you leave for work, you’ll never say ‘goodbye’?”

  He shook his head, staring at our interlaced fingers. “Nope. I’ll say, ‘see you later’ or ‘talk soon’ or ‘I love y—” His words caught, and he stopped talking, pressing his lips together. “I just mean, I will find other phrases, but ‘goodbye’ will be reserved for my dying breath.”

  Tears filled my eyes. “Okay.”

  His eyes jerked up to meet mine. “Okay?”

  I nodded, a tear slipping out of my eye and down my cheek. “Let’s do this.”

  I stood, setting my beer down on the table before pulling Neil to his feet. I tugged his body into mine and kissed him. “Come on,” I said.

  “Where are we going?” he asked with playfulness behind his eyes and in the tilt of his mouth.

  My brows lifted and I whispered. “The bedroom, Neil. We are going to the bedroom.”

  His smile widened, and he gently brushed his mouth to mine in a chaste kiss that sent tingles down to my toes, curling within my ballet flats. “Can you do me a favor first?” he asked.

  I nodded, unable to speak with his mouth so close to mine.

  “Put a coaster under that beer bottle.”

  Once the bedroom door shut behind us, Elaina was already kicking her heels off and shrugging out of her silk dress shirt, and I followed her lead. Apparently, I was a hell of a lot speedier than her and found myself completely undressed while she was still unclasping her bra. All the oxygen seeped from my lungs as the bra straps scraped down her soft arms, the cups loosening around her breasts and allowing them to fall into their perfect teardrop shape.

  A pink flush dusted her cheeks as she glanced up, catching me staring from where I sat on the edge of the bed.

  “You are gorgeous,” I whispered. She’d always been gorgeous, but the body she’d grown into was one that men and women alike dreamed of. Her perfectly heavy breasts with rosy, hard nipples. They begged to be licked. Sucked.

  Inside my body, I turned to mush, melting—but my cock, on the other hand, hardened. “Come here,” I said, my voice ragged and rougher than I intended.

  She crossed to where I was sitting and, without removing her skirt, straddled my hips. The tight linen crept up her thighs, revealing smooth, supple skin that I slid my hands across. As I kneaded my thumbs, working them in circles up her inner thighs, she sighed a quiet moan, cheek resting against my shoulder, and became boneless in my arms.

  Her breasts pushed against my chest and, fuck me, if the soft, floral scent of her skin didn’t make me dizzy with desire. I tugged the elastic free from her ponytail and her long curls fell like a curtain, concealing us, as I took her lips in a hard kiss.

  I’d been dreaming of her mouth all day. Aching to feel her tongue once more. The soft press of her body against mine. I trailed my lips down the svelte column of her neck as her hands landed on my shoulders, squeezing the muscles there.

  I’d waited ten years for this moment. Ten years to see Lainey again, feel her once more, have her in my arms and my body inside of hers. Nothing about her disappointed. The fantasy was nothing compared to the reality of being here with her.

  With my lips still nipping her neck, I cupped her breasts. Although they were small, they were also perfect and heavy and filled my hands as I rolled my thumbs and forefingers over her textured nipples.

  With a gasp, her breath cracked and she released the hold her lips had on my ear, her body shuddering in pleasure against mine. I drank in her shuddering breath, relishing that I had complete control over her body and her pleasure in this moment. And knowing that it was only a matter of moments before that control would switch and she would hold all the power over me.

  When I lowered my mouth to one of her breasts, her nails pricked against the skin at my back. Pain and pleasure collided, and my rumbling groan vibrated against her breast as I laved my way up from the underside curve to where her pale skin met the dark pink of her nipple.

  I covered that nipple with my mouth, scraping my teeth gently against the pebbled nub before sucking it hard. I tugged her roughly closer to me so that I could dine on her body, feast on her breasts, and I kissed and licked my way across her body to the other.

  I had to taste all of her. I had to lick every inch of her body or I would go mad. My cock ached for her. My tongue ached for her. My hands itched to feel her. Every bit of my soul and body wanted this woman splayed out before me. A rumbling sound purred from her throat and in a swift movement, I had her in my arms, spinning so that she was laying on the bed on her back, me bracing my weight above her.

  I shoved her skirt until it was bunched around her waist and dragged her lacy thongs down her legs, discarding them on the floor. Sitting back, I admired her, taking in the gorgeous site of Lainey on my bed, needy, panting, awaiting my touch. The small of her back arched off the bed, and her hips pulsed toward me in greedy circles. The other night, I had felt her desire; her wet heat. But I didn’t get to bask in it. Not like this. I didn’t get to look at her flushed skin, her eyes, bright with anticipation. Her hard nipples.

  Gently, I pressed my index finger inside of her, brushing my thumb against her clit, and groaned as her body sucked me in. “Fuck, Lainey,” I growled. “You’re drenche
d.”

  A moan was her only response. Along with a jolt of her body, pushing deeper against my finger. Lowering my face to her sex, I exhaled a hot breath, while simultaneously stroking her with increasing speed and pressure. Her fingers fisted the blankets at her thighs. “Neil, please,” she begged, and I smiled to myself before closing my lips over her swollen clit.

  Silky. Hot. Delicious. I moaned as I sampled her again, licking her sweet pussy.

  Impossibly, her body went even more rigid as I worked another finger inside, filling her. I sucked on her hot button of need, alternating between fast and hard and slow and languid. How could any person taste so fucking good?

  I fell into a steady rhythm, lapping at her body like a starved man. My cock was so hard, it pressed painfully between my belly and the bed, but I didn’t care. I was a man on a mission. I needed more of Elaina.

  Her hips lifted, meeting each thrust of my fingers, and circled, churning against my touch. If that wasn’t the sexiest damn thing I ever saw. Each time I thought she was the hottest thing ever, she topped herself.

  And then, she came undone. Her wet heat clamped against my fingers, her saturated sex smothering my face as she cried out, convulsing in the wave of orgasm. She sighed. Panted as I licked her through the final aftershocks in her body.

  Her throat worked in a slow swallow as I kissed my way back up her body. Her lips were warm as they met mine, her tongue stroking its way into my mouth. Her hand found my length, wrapping around me, squeezing hard.

  “My turn,” Elaina whispered, crawling to her hands and knees and pushing me onto my back.

  Her grip around me tightened and I hissed a long breath as she moved her mouth toward my cock. Tipping my fingers beneath her chin, I stopped her. Those wide blue eyes darting to meet mine, her swollen mouth parting in confusion. “What is it?” she asked.

  I groaned. “You can’t go down on me,” I admitted, ignoring the twinge of embarrassment. “I won’t last a minute if you do. And I want this to last.”