Beefcakes

by Katana Collins

  That small frown lifted into a victorious smile, a curve that lifted higher on one side. “Condoms?” she asked.

  I leaned over to my nightstand, grabbing a condom and ripping the wrapper open with my teeth. As I rolled it over my erection, she crawled over my body. I placed a hand on each of her thighs, guiding her as she straddled me, wide, her wet pussy glistening as she sank down over me.

  I sighed her name, a soft whisper on my lips, and she moaned as I filled her, root to tip.

  “Neil,” she moaned, her head lolling back. I lifted a hand, gliding my fingers up and and then down her body, slick with sweat, until I reached her hips. I gripped them, hard, holding her in place. If she moved, even twitched, I feared I would come right then and there.

  “I need a moment,” I hissed. “It’s too good. Too fucking good.” Her wet heat enveloped me, surrounded me.

  Even with my grip on her hips, Elaina rocked forward, and I gasped as the sensation deepened, squeezing my eyes shut. “Fuck, Elaina, I’m not kidding.”

  A raspy giggle made me peek one eye open. She was biting her bottom lip, a clear attempt to stifle more laughter.

  “Oh, you think this is funny, huh?” I teased her back.

  Her chest bounced, causing her whole body to twitch over my dick and yet again, I groaned, my head falling back on the pillow. Even her laughter was erotic as hell.

  “It’s a little funny,” she whispered, her voice an entire octave lower than usual.

  I moved my finger between her wet folds, gathering some of the dampness and gliding it over her clit. Her laughter morphed into a gasp. “Is it still funny?” I whispered back, as I circled that finger over her clit.

  With my one hand still on her hip, the other stroking her, I guided her movement, slowly at first. Pulsing up and down over my hard cock, establishing a slow, rocking rhythm. Her body was stretched tightly around me, slick and throbbing. Her hips lifted slowly, almost until I was entirely pulled out and just before my tip was at the edge of her entrance, she thrusted down onto me. I groaned as the ecstasy of the movement brought stars flooding into my vision. And it was quite a sight; Lainey, surrounded by stars. She increased the speed and I lifted my hips, our bodies meeting in each heavy, slapping thrust.

  Her sex clenched around my dick and stayed like that for one glorious moment before she erupted into spasms around me. It was too much. The feel of her rippling over my erection. My own orgasm crashed, meeting hers, and the heavy contractions robbed me of my composure.

  With a gruff, heaving breath, I thrusted into her one last time before the waves of pleasure released.

  “Oh, my God,” she gasped and fell forward, laying on top of me, and I stroked my fingers up and down over her quivering body. We panted, a tangle of limbs and sweat and heaving breaths.

  When Elaina finally looked up at me, even in the low-light of the bedroom, I could see something clouding the sparkle in her eyes. Uncertainty. My heart ached because I knew I had caused that. That twinge of doubt was because I left all those years ago. She doubted me and I couldn’t even blame her for it.

  Ten years, I’d been waiting to be reunited with her and I didn’t even know it. But now I knew, without a doubt, Elaina was enough for me. She was my everything.

  I only hoped Maple Grove was also enough.

  Maybe I was being a little dramatic, but the past few weeks felt like they were the best of my life.

  Even though Neil and I were on very different schedules, every morning after he rolled out of bed at three o’clock and had his coffee, he would reset the coffee maker so that a fresh pot was ready for me when I got up. Just as he’d promised. And every day, there was a new mug waiting for me with a short note as to why he chose it.

  It was such a small thing, and yet, it meant the world to me. Especially since Brad had mocked me mercilessly for my mug collection. And then, in a ridiculously spiteful move, he took them all when he moved out.

  But Neil was the absolute farthest thing from Brad. He was kind, generous, playful. And the sex? Holy crap. Whoever it was that claimed the male libido peaks at eighteen clearly never met Neil Evans. He was attentive and seemed to know exactly what I wanted before I even did.

  This morning, Neil’s alarm went off, as usual… only… it sounded different. I groaned and curled into the nook of his shoulder, mumbling, “Neil. The alarm.”

  My fingers slid over his bare torso, smooth and warm. It always seemed Neil’s body temperature ran ten degrees hotter than mine.

  He sat up, scrubbing his face. “That’s not the alarm,” he said. “That’s the doorbell.”

  I jerked upright and looked at the clock. 2:58 a.m. My first thought was: Who in the hell would be ringing this early? My second thought: Someone is hurt, or something is wrong. I grabbed my robe and slid my arms into it, tying it around my waist as Neil hopped out of bed and hastily pulled on the pair of jeans that were on the floor. He rushed for the door, and I checked my phone, bleary eyed, trying to see if I had missed any emergency calls.

  My phone was blank. No notifications, missed texts or calls. Was it Neil’s mother? Oh, God. I flung open our bedroom door and rushed down the hall, fearing the worst, when I heard Neil’s voice.

  “You’re fucking kidding me.”

  I blinked as a sudden flood of light came into the house. A crew with two cameras, a portable light, and a boom mic all charged into the house, surrounding us.

  “Oh, no,” I moaned and buried my face in my hands. It wasn’t the fact that we were caught coming out of the same bedroom. That ship had sailed after the first episode. But I had no makeup on, and I was sure my hair was sticking up in all kinds of directions. “What now?” I groaned.

  “Good morning,” Savannah said, moving forward toward me. “We wanted today’s challenge to be a surprise.”

  Neil glared at her, then we both looked to Elliott who pointed at his mouth and whispered, “Smile.”

  “Well, mission accomplished,” I said.

  “Can we just get this over with?” Neil snapped. “I have to get ready for work in five minutes.”

  “That’s the thing,” Savannah said. “Today, you two are switching jobs. Elaina, you’ll be going to Beefcakes in thirty minutes to start baking, and Neil, today you get to sleep in and go to City Hall as Maple Grove’s town manager.”

  “No,” I whispered, shaking my head. “You can’t do that. Neil, tell me they can’t do that.”

  Neil folded his arms. “There is a clause in our contracts that states you cannot interfere with our careers during our business hours.”

  “Actually,” Savannah said, “The contract states that we cannot interfere with your careers during business hours without pre-approved notice and permission.”

  I held out my hands. “Exactly. We had no notice.” I gestured to my robe. “Obviously. And neither of us gave you permission.”

  “No,” she said, “But Mayor Dyker approved this yesterday. See for yourself.” She handed me a sheet of paper that was signed by my dad stating that, for one day, Neil Evans would be acting as town manager. I shook my head, rendered totally speechless. “We also have it on video if you need more confirmation.”

  “But… but I have a budget proposal meeting today,” I said. “The entire mill project hinges on it.”

  “Neil will be running the proposal meeting today.”

  Neil’s folded arms clenched beside me, and I could feel the anger radiating off of him. “The hell I will. You didn’t get permission from me or give me notice.”

  “We got it from your brother,” she said and handed Neil his own sheet of paper.

  With a white-knuckled grip, he snatched the sheet of paper from her hands and barely bothered to look at it. “I suppose there’s no loophole to get us out of this, is there?”

  She shook her head. “The rules for the day are: you have to perform each other’s jobs seriously; you have to do the tasks yourself and not enlist other employees to help you; and you’re not allowed to call each other
with questions.”

  Neil and I exchanged worried glances. The problem was… I could bake. All you had to do was follow some dang directions, right? But how in the world was Neil supposed to do my job? There was no recipe to follow for how to do what I do. You couldn’t just add a teaspoon of spreadsheets and half a cup of numbers and balance a budget by mixing them together. “But what if one of us has a dire question? Some sort of emergency?”

  “Well.” Savannah clapped her hands together. “That’s why we call this a challenge. The judges want to see how you two can relate by literally wearing the other’s shoes for a day.”

  “That’s not literal,” I grumbled and rubbed at my eyes.

  “What?” Savannah asked.

  I sighed. “You said, literally wearing each other’s shoes for a day. We’re not actually wearing each other’s shoes, are we?” I knew I shouldn’t sound so snarky, but frankly? It was three in the morning, and apparently, I was up for the day and I hadn’t even had a cup of coffee yet. “So, it’s figurative. Not literal.”

  Savannah gave me a tight smile. “Well, regardless, Neil, we need you to get your butt back in bed and enjoy your extra three hours of sleep. And Elaina, hit the shower. You’ve got some cupcakes to make.”

  Neil wiggled his eyebrows at me and backed toward the bedroom. “I think I’m going to like this challenge.” He grinned and pointed at me. “Just remember… There’s no problem so large that a cupcake can’t fix.”

  I stuck my tongue out at him and crossed my arms. “Oh yeah? I’m going to make a yogurt cupcake.” Neil cringed, and I didn’t think the look of disgust was exaggerated. He truly seemed repulsed by the idea of a yogurt cupcake. “With almond buttercream!” I added.

  He laughed but shuddered.

  “Maybe I’ll even add some fennel,” I added, remembering his deep hatred of fennel. They once served it in a salad in high school and—no joke—he puked everywhere. Granted, it could have been the beers he chugged, too. But I didn’t think the fennel helped.

  I scowled at him playfully as he made a gagging sound. “Good luck selling that… while I’m still in bed sleeping!” He took off for the bedroom, pausing in the doorway and spinning to face me. “For the love of God… please don’t put fennel in a cupcake, Lainey.”

  I barked a laugh and made the sign of the cross over my heart. “But I am going to make a yogurt cupcake.”

  He grinned and rolled his eyes before literally, yes literally, jumping back to where we’d been sleeping moments ago.

  I groaned and headed to the bathroom to shower and change. I was in hell. Figuratively speaking, of course.

  Three hours. I’d only been at this for three hours, and my hair was covered in batter. Icing was caked beneath my finger nails. And I was wired from having constant access to espresso—a power that I happily abused, especially after my surprise 3:00 a.m. wake-up call.

  And as nice as Liam seems on most days? At the bakery, he was a total tyrant.

  I’d managed to bake eight dozen special orders of cupcakes—most of which were variations of gluten free and sugar free—excluding the one batch that I had to throw out because I, in my exhausted stupor, grabbed the bag of salt, rather than sugar. Thank God Liam was on top of things and tasted a cupcake from every batch I made. Micromanaging? Yes. Necessary? Also yes.

  “Okay,” Liam said. “It’s time to open out front. This is usually our busiest time, but we still need to put the fondant decorations on half of the orders. We’ve got Olivia’s birthday cupcakes—the unicorns. And the Batman cupcakes for Devyn. As well as two more bachelorette party orders.” He pointed to the various boxes of packaged cupcakes while I yawned and refilled my mug of coffee. “I already piped the buttercream on them, so I just need you to put the fondant decorations on top and close them up.”

  I nodded and rolled my eyes. “Got it.”

  “When you’re done, meet me out front and I’ll show you the register. Then I can come back here and keep baking. Make up for lost time.”

  Apparently, I wasn’t as fast as Neil, and we were about three dozen baked goods behind schedule for 7:00 a.m.

  “How does it feel baking in Neil’s place?” Savannah asked me as I pulled a tray of buttercream decorated cupcakes from the counter, moving them to the cooling area.

  “Other than the three o’clock wake-up call, it’s fine,” I said. As I turned around, I nearly knocked into the boom operator. Gasping, I clutched the tray, catching my elbow on the counter.

  I grunted, but thankfully, only one cupcake rolled off the tray and splattered to the floor.

  Sorry, he mouthed silently to me.

  I rolled my eyes, pulling myself up where I’d almost completely busted my ass, and took a deep breath. I set the tray down on the opposite side of the industrial kitchen and did my best to give him a smile. It was weak. Wobbly, like my knees. “It’s okay,” I said. “Only one cupcake lost.” I picked it up and tossed it into the garbage.

  Yes, it was exhausting, but I suspected I was having a much easier day than Neil because I, at least, had Liam’s help. Neil was going to have to show my budget proposal to a city council board meeting. There was no Liam in my office to help him… to explain. Yes, he had my assistant, who was extremely capable, but I was just a glorified extra set of hands at the bakery today while Neil had to give my complicated presentation, solo.

  I went back to the counter to finish the decorations on the special-order cupcakes. On the first set of cupcakes, the post-it on top read: Chocolate-Caramel Crunch. I skimmed the order list beside me and saw that the fondant penises went on top of the chocolate caramel cupcakes. Well, that was easy enough. One by one, I set the fondant penises into the buttercream frosting that already had multi-colored crunchy cookies crumbled on top. Quite the psychedelic penis. I shook my head, then closed up the box and put the Beefcakes logo sticker on the seam to seal it. Was this what Neil did all day? Molded a bunch of tiny penises out of fondant and carefully decorated these cupcakes for overeager brides?

  I sighed. One order done. Seven to go.

  I got through about half of the list before Liam poked his head in the back. “I need the chocolate caramel crunch cupcakes for Bailey. Olivia Bailey—”

  I grabbed the first box I had finished and handed them to Neil, careful not to jostle it too much.

  “Thanks,” he said, offering me a fleeting smile.

  I nodded. “I’m almost done here, then I can come out and take over the register while you finish the bakes.”

  “Perfect, thank you, Elaina.”

  Even though I was slowing him down, he was still really kind to me, despite sort of being a micromanager earlier. I gave him a salute, and he disappeared with a grin.

  “Okay. Where was I?” I slid the last box down toward me and saw the sticker on the top. Chocolate Caramel. Huh. Didn’t I just do those?

  I glanced at the sheet of orders… Chocolate Caramel - Fondant Penis, Bachelorette Party; Lacey Perry.

  I blinked, forcing my eyes to focus, then skimmed the list to the last name at the bottom.

  Chocolate Caramel Crunch - Fondant Unicorn, 3rd Birthday Party; Olivia Bailey.

  My blood ran cold in my body. Oh, God. What had I done?

  “No,” I whispered and grabbed the tray with the fondant pieces. Sure enough, the only fondant creations left there were unicorn faces. “No!” I cried again, louder this time. “No, no, no, no, no!”

  “What happened?” Savannah asked, and when I looked up, the camera was right in my face.

  Sweet little Olivia Bailey was going to open up her cupcakes at her party today and instead of a dozen unicorns, she’d find a dozen one-eyed snakes staring back at her.

  I didn’t have time to explain to the show what had happened. I needed to do something.

  Panicked, I dashed through the door, hearing the crew racing behind me, and found Liam at the register, handing a woman a coffee.

  “The cupcake pickup that just happened. That was for Olivia Bailey?”


  He gave me a strange look. “Yeah… Lex’s daughter, Liv.”

  “Where are they?”

  “Where are who?”

  “The Baileys!” I shrieked.

  Liam looked at me like I was a crazy person, and in that moment… I was. He pointed to the front door. “Ronnie literally just left with them.”

  I didn’t wait to explain and launched myself out of the bakery into the parking lot where I saw Ronnie Tripp Bailey pushing a double stroller, the cupcake box balanced on top, as a little girl skipped beside her toward the car.

  “Ronnie!” I cried out, running as fast as I could toward her mini SUV.

  She gave me a strange look. “Elaina?” I panted heavily as I reached them. Hot damn. Dating a baker—even one who baked sugar free—was maybe catching up with me. How was it that I was this out of breath after less than a quarter of a mile?

  “I need those back,” I said, gesturing to the box of cupcakes balanced on the stroller.

  “What are you talking about?” She looked confused and brushed her hand over the top of the box.

  “Liam gave you the wrong order. Just trust me on this. I’ll get you the right ones… I just need a few minutes.”

  An understanding expression washed over Ronnie’s face, and she smiled at me. “Had a little mix-up?”

  My eyes widened. “Yes. Trust me, you don’t want Liv opening those cupcakes with a party of three-year-olds.”

  Ronnie snickered and handed me the box. “Of course.”

  Relief spread through my body to every one of my limbs, and I breathed a heavy sigh. “Thank you,” I whispered, half to Ronnie and half to whatever deity had just saved me from that humiliating experience. The crew had made it outside and was still filming, catching every moment on national television. Heat bloomed across the apples of my cheeks.

  “Lex was going to do the cupcakes, but it’s been so busy with the twins, it was just easier to order them. Trust me… he and I both understand. Can I come back in an hour and get the new ones?”

  “That would be perfect. I think I can just switch out the top decorations and have them ready even sooner than that.”