Beefcakes

by Katana Collins

  “How’re you feeling today, Mom?” It had been two weeks since her chemo ended.

  “Pretty good. Strong. I feel good about tomorrow’s scans.”

  Good. I needed her positivity, because I was nervous as hell about those scans. “I need a couple favors if you’re up to it. I know you haven’t been baking much, but any chance you feel strong enough to bake two dozen cupcakes for Robert Hughes and the board members at your oncology center?”

  “I think I can handle a couple dozen. I can send Finn to drop them off when we arrive for my appointment in the morning, too.”

  Thank God. One less thing for me to have to do tomorrow if Finn could handle that.

  “What’s the second favor?”

  A grin settled across my face. “You still have my house key, right?”

  By two-thirty we had sold out of nearly everything in the glass case, and I fell into one of the chairs out front, utterly exhausted. Liam sat beside me and slid a mug of steaming coffee across the table to me. I pushed it away and cringed. “Oh, God. No more coffee. I’ve had about thirty cups since this morning.”

  Liam chuckled and took a sip from his own mug. “It’s decaf. And it’s got a little Irish in there.” He wiggled his eyebrows as my eyes widened at him.

  “Whiskey?”

  He nodded. “A little tradition Neil and I have when it’s been a particularly challenging day.”

  I winced. “Yeah… sorry about that. I didn’t mean to make your day more… challenging than usual.”

  Liam waved my concern away. “Eh. It’s all part of the game right now. If we want to win a million dollars…” He shrugged, his words fading away.

  “Right,” I said quietly and took a sip of the whiskey and coffee. At some point in the last few weeks, this had become less about winning and more about Neil and me having fun together. We were good together in a way that I didn’t see coming. It hit me like a Mack truck racing down the highway in the rain. And I couldn’t believe that it was all going to be over soon. I’d be moving back into my parents’ house. A twenty-eight-year-old loser living with Mom and Dad. … or maybe… not. Maybe Neil was enjoying living with me as much as I was loving sharing a house with him.

  “Anyway.” Liam stood, patting me on the shoulder. “I should start baking some of tomorrow’s orders.”

  “Does that mean I’m done for the day?” I gave him my best smile, and he laughed.

  “Not a chance, Dyker. You still need to count the register for me and mop and wipe the counters. Then you can go home. I’ll take care of the rest of the orders. Wouldn’t want you sending penis cupcakes to ol’ Gladys Ridley’s seventieth birthday party.” He paused and shrugged. “Actually, Gladys might enjoy that.”

  I laughed and buried my face in my hands.

  “I’m going to go film a little video for our social media marketing about how to make buttercream, but if you need me, feel free to interrupt. As long as you don’t mind being on our Facebook page.”

  “God help me, no,” I laughed and lifted my chin toward the camera crew still flanking me. “I think I’ve had enough cameras for one day.”

  He wiggled his brows, pulling out his phone as he disappeared into the back-kitchen area. One by one, I lifted the chairs onto the tables, almost smacking the boom operator with the legs of one. I exhaled heavily and, for the millionth time that day, apologized. This poor crew was going to be black and blue by the time they finished with me. I finished lifting the chairs off the floor so I could sweep and mop.

  “Why are you still here filming this?” I muttered under my breath.

  One of the crew shrugged and looked at his watch. “We’re supposed to stay with you until you and Neil meet back up at your house.”

  I had my back facing the door when I heard the bell chime above it. “We’re closed,” I called over my shoulder.

  There was silence behind me, and I sighed. Damn. Why hadn’t I thought to lock up before I started cleaning? I set the half empty mug on the counter and turned around. Every muscle in my body went rigid. Ice ran through my veins when I saw Brad standing there before me. “What are you doing here?”

  I glanced around the room as though there might be answers on the walls.

  He swallowed so hard that I could both see the movement in his throat and hear the gulping noise. “I heard you were here,” he said, taking a step toward me.

  I tried to move back, but my feet were heavy, like they had cement blocks strapped to them. Stupid useless feet.

  “Did you have a change in careers?” He glanced around the bakery, and his smile was so familiar. “Maybe you’d have had more time for me as a baker than as town manager.” He chuckled quietly. It was the sort of joke he often told back when we were together. The sort of snipe that seemed mostly light-hearted but had a twinge of bitterness to it. A year ago, I would have laughed at it, disguising my pain with a smile. But now? It made me furious.

  “I don’t have time for you at all anymore, Brad. Not since you cheated on me.” I folded my arms. “What do you want?”

  “Isn’t it obvious?” He took another step forward.

  “With you? Nothing is obvious.”

  “Come on, Elaina. We were perfect together.”

  A laugh cracked at the back of my throat as I shook my head. “Perfect? You thought that was perfect? Perfect doesn’t ask one person to change. Perfect doesn’t make that person feel like crap because she loves her job. Perfect doesn’t cheat.” I paused, swallowing against my sandpaper-dry throat. “And perfect doesn’t leave two days before Christmas.”

  Another step. I stood taller, holding my ground. It was good that my feet were like cement… because I shouldn’t be the one to back away. To cower like a cornered dog. He was coming into my boyfriend’s bakery, and I refused to tremble beneath him like I used to.

  “You’re right,” Brad nodded. And I had to admit, he looked contrite. “I was far from perfect. But you?” He reached a hand up, brushing the side of my face. “You were perfect.”

  His thumb skimmed my jaw, and my brows lowered to a scowl. “Bring that thumb near my lips and I will bite it off.”

  He chuckled and shook his head. “I always loved what a spitfire you were.”

  Okay, what the hell was going on? I shook my head. “No, you didn’t. You hated that about me.”

  “Hated it? Elaina, it was one of the reasons I fell in love with you. It’s one of the reasons I’m still in love with you. I just needed this time apart to get my head out of my ass. But now? I’m ready. I want you to marry me. I want to spend our lives together.” He dropped his forehead to mine, and I blinked, utterly and completely stunned. All the wind was knocked out of my lungs. What the hell was happening?

  “Come on, Ellie. What do you say?” He bent down and kissed me. Nine years together flashed through my mind. All the stupid parties he dragged me to. All the times I wasn’t dressed up enough for him and the mundane conversations I had to make with the other wives and girlfriends, while all along they knew he had a sidepiece. The nagging that I was never home early enough. The complaints that I didn’t cook well enough or often enough. In general… the feeling that I was simply not enough for him.

  But the truth was… I was enough. I was enough simply as I was. And I was more than enough for Neil. It was Brad who wasn’t enough for me.

  I blinked my eyes open, and bit down on his lip. Hard.

  He yelped, jumping back, and knocked one of the tables over. “What the fuck?” he cried, bringing his fingers to his lips. Crimson dripped down his hand. Oops. Maybe I had bitten a little too hard.

  Liam came running into the front room, his phone in hand, pointed right at us. He glanced around. “What the hell happened?”

  I ignored his question.

  “I warned you,” I said, pointing at Brad.

  “You warned me you’d bite my thumb, not put a gash in my fucking lip! Jesus. I might need stitches.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Oh my God, you are such a baby.” />
  He scurried to his feet, brushing the dirt off his dress pants, and I smiled, happy I hadn’t started sweeping yet. “You’re fucking nuts, you know that? This so wasn’t worth the money.”

  “The money? What money?”

  He snorted and shook his head. “Fucking Hardin. I thought this would be an easy two grand.”

  “Wait.” I put up my hands up. “Hardin Montgomery paid you two grand to come here and … what? Try to get back together with me?”

  Brad glanced at the cameras and shook his head. “I’m out of here. I’m not getting any more involved with this.”

  I glared at him as he stormed out of the bakery and ran for his Mercedes. “What a little weenie,” I said, watching his weird gait. “How did I ever love him?”

  Liam snorted and shook his head. “Don’t ask me. We all wondered what the hell a girl like you was doing with a guy like him.”

  I inhaled deeply, my heart aching. I knew what I’d been doing with him… I was trying to distance myself from a man like Neil. I pressed my palm against my chest and rubbed at the phantom pain. I smiled and shook my head. I knew what I wanted now. I wanted Neil. Despite everything in our past, our history, I wanted to trust him again. I wanted to keep building on this little life we had started together.

  “Hey,” Liam said, gently nudging me with his elbow. I glanced to my left to find him close to me, smiling. “I can tell what you’re thinking… and I’m pretty sure Neil feels the same way.”

  My eyes widened. “How did you know that?”

  He rolled his eyes and grabbed the two remaining chairs, putting them up onto a table. “Oh, come on. I’ve been watching the Neil and Lainey saga unfold since I was a teenager.”

  I grinned, biting my lip, but my thoughts were interrupted yet again by Liam. “Nuh-uh,” he said, shaking a finger at me and handing me the broom. “Sweep. Mop. Do the register. Then you can go.”

  I knew he was right… if I left without doing those things, Neil and I might be disqualified. But as he turned around and crossed back to the kitchen, I stuck my tongue out at him anyway. “I saw that!” he called over his shoulder.

  Once I was home, I unlocked the cabin door and entered, inhaling a deep breath of the crisp lake air. Home. I wasn’t sure when it happened, but at some point, this little lake cabin had stopped being a place I was sleeping for the duration of the show and had come to feel like my home.

  A delicious smell wafted toward me… pot roast? My stomach growled as I walked deeper into my house, the camera crew right on my heels.

  It was funny how we’d gotten used to them. They were just sort of extensions of our lives now. It should be weird to be going about mundane activities like driving to and from work with a camera over your shoulder and microphone hovering over your head, but after so many weeks of it, we barely even noticed they were there anymore. Unless of course, I was trying to bake freaking cupcakes and bumping into them every two steps.

  “Neil!” I called out, awaiting an answer, then checked my phone for the time. It was only four-thirty, and I was usually lucky to leave the office by five. But if Neil wasn’t home… who was cooking?

  I moved deeper into the kitchen, exhaustion settling deep into my bones. I hadn’t realized how tired I was until the work day ended, and then it hit me like a pile of bricks. I noticed a slow cooker on the counter, plugged in, and I lifted the lid. Aromas of beef and gravy, carrots, onions, and potatoes permeated the kitchen and I moaned, my stomach rumbling.

  After one more deep inhale, I put the lid back. If Neil went to the trouble of cooking, the least I could do was wait to eat with him. As I dropped my purse on the counter, I noticed a bottle of wine with a note propped up in front of it. Beside it, there was a folded blanket, and a book on top.

  Huh. That was strange.

  Curious, I crossed toward the table and lifted the note in my hands.

  Elaina,

  I have a newfound respect and appreciation for all the hard work you do for our little town. I’m sure you must be exhausted today after only a few hours of sleep. Pour yourself a glass of wine, grab the blanket and book, and enjoy a little quiet time. Dinner is simmering in the crockpot, if you’re hungry now… or I’d love to eat with you when I get home.

  Love,

  Neil

  I smiled, cradling the note in my hands. Then, I popped open the wine, poured myself a glass, and grabbed a block of cheese from the fridge to tide me over until dinner. I settled onto the lounge chair on the deck. Even though it was June, New England sometimes had a funny way of cooling down in the evenings as the sun dipped past the horizon.

  I propped my feet up and covered my bare legs with the blanket while cracking open chapter one of the book he had left for me.

  I wasn’t sure how long I was out there, but at some point, I dozed off. It wasn’t until I felt Neil’s hand on my knee, and I blinked my eyes open, that I saw him crouched there in front of me. “Hey,” he whispered.

  A slow grin spread on my face. “Hey back.”

  “Rough day?” He lifted the empty glass of wine that was on the deck below my chair.

  I groaned. “Baking is exhausting.”

  He chuckled and lifted his hand to my hair, picking at some icing that had crusted onto my bangs. “Funny. I was just about to say the same about managing a town. Except, you’re so meticulously organized, you made it easy.”

  I smiled, and the stark contrast between the end of the day here and what it was like when I lived with Brad was so drastic that it left my chest aching. Brad. My happiness deflated like a popped balloon, and I groaned, rubbing at my eyes with my knuckles. “I need to tell you something,” I said.

  He leaned forward, brushing his mouth to mine gently before pulling back and smiling. “Oh yeah?”

  “Yeah,” I sighed. “It’s not a big deal. I handled it. But my ex came into the bakery today.”

  Neil pulled back. The movement was slight, and most people probably wouldn’t have even seen it. But I did. I saw it and I felt it, that slight distance he put between us, curling around my spine and settling in my bones. His gaze narrowed. “Do I need to be worried?”

  My gaze softened, and I slipped my hands behind his neck as I shook my head. “No,” I whispered. “That’s why I’m telling you. Seeing Brad today… it just made me realize that I feel nothing for him anymore. He’s my past… you’re my future.”

  Neil’s eyebrow rose, but a humored smile lifted his mouth. “I’m your past and your future, though.”

  “Huh. I guess that’s true.” I took a deep breath. Even though I hadn’t done anything wrong—and I’d even stopped the kiss by drawing blood—telling Neil about it was still unsettling as hell. “When Brad was at the bakery—”

  Neil pressed his thumb against my lips, shushing me. “It’s over between you and him, right?”

  Again, I nodded. “So over.”

  “Okay,” he whispered. “Then let’s just leave it at that. I’d rather not hear all the details about how he begged for you to take him back.” Another smile tipped his lips, but it was apparent that he wasn’t joking in the least.

  I rolled my eyes. “Well, he hardly begged.”

  “Then he really doesn’t deserve you.”

  I quirked a brow. “I don’t recall you begging for me to take you back either.”

  His slow grin warmed my insides and sent spirals of awareness down to my toes. He lowered his knees to the ground from his crouching position and placed his palms together, looking up at me. “Elaina Louise Dyker. I’m on my knees, begging you to take me back. To let me spend the rest of my life proving to you that I’m worthy of your love.”

  I snorted and tugged him up to sit on the chair with me. “Okay, okay, stop that.”

  His nose brushed against mine, and his breath was hot against my cheek. “I mean it, though, Lainey.”

  I blinked, and a shiver rocked down my spine. I leaned forward to kiss him, his soft lips firm but pliable against mine. But the sudden reminde
r of the cameras made me pull back. Even though I’d gotten used to the crew being around, it was a different story when they were this close during such intimate moments.

  I glanced around, blinking, but the deck was completely empty. “Where is everyone?”

  Neil smiled. “I convinced Elliott to send the crew home in exchange for putting a few more cameras around the common areas of the house.” He pointed to the corner of the deck where an obvious camera was set up and blinking red. He shrugged. “I knew he wouldn’t let us get away with not filming this, but I really wanted to be alone. Or at least, be as alone as we could be.”

  My heart skipped a beat. “For what?”

  Neil swallowed thickly and slowly dragged his gaze back to mine, his eyes trailing a path over the length of my body. It left me breathless and far too hot in this cool summer evening air. “I love you, Elaina. I’m so in love with you. I don’t care if we become millionaires after all this is said and done because at the end of the day… I’ll have you again.” He gulped, his jaw twitching. “Or at least, I hope I will.”

  I nodded, tears blurring my vision. “You will. I love you, too, Neil.” My heart felt three sizes too big for my chest cavity, and it had been so long since I’d felt this way that I had to press my palm to the bittersweet ache that pulsed there. There was still a small voice in my head… a fearful one… warning that he might leave again. But the more logical side of my brain told me that was just irrational fear. That was just Brad seeping into my joy and trying to sour it. People could change. If there was anything Neil Evans had proven in this last month and a half, it was that.

  He blinked, almost as though he could read my thoughts. “You trust me, right, Elaina?”

  I nodded and bit my lip.

  “Never goodbye,” he said. “Remember? Never goodbye.”

  I launched myself forward and pressed my lips to his, and as I opened to him, his tongue slid over mine. I felt the bouncing chuckle of his shoulders, and when he pulled back, he brought his fingers to his mouth, licking his lips. “You made caramel buttercream today,” he said. “I can taste it on you.”