Beefcakes

by Katana Collins

I slipped into the dark dining room and shut the door behind me. “Jude?”

  “Neil!” he exclaimed. “Ready for semi-finals?”

  I took a deep breath and clamped my hand to my hip. “Honestly, I’m just ready for this to be over and for Elaina and me to be on our own. For real on our own without cameras and challenges and judges and hosts. No offense, of course.”

  “None taken. God knows, I can understand that. Maybe more than anyone.” There was a pause that lasted just a touch longer than I was comfortable with.

  “Jude? Everything okay?”

  Jude sighed. “I just wanted to check in on you… I know it was sort of a rough week and a hard challenge.”

  “Yeah...” I answered carefully. “I guess. But we’re fine. I think we both handled each other’s jobs pretty well this week.”

  “All things considered, sure. It wasn’t your challenge that had me worried, but the personal stuff. Look, whatever happens tonight, I’ve been thinking. If you’re up for it, I have a new film starting on location in Budapest. It’s a three-month shoot—”

  “Jude, you know I need to take it easy with my shoulder—”

  “I know, I know. But we could use you, not as the stuntman… but as a consultant. Maybe even train some of the new stunt actors. The pay is good. Really good. It might help offset the debt you’ve gotten into with your mom.”

  My spirits lifted. I didn’t want to admit it to myself, but I was really starting to miss stunt work. Even though I loved baking, I missed the action and challenge that stunt work brought to my life. That being said… I didn’t want to give up the bakery, either. I guess you could say I wanted my cake and wanted to eat it, too.

  But then, unease set in, burrowing deeper in my stomach. Why was Jude offering this now? And why was he worried about my finances… especially when he, Elliott, and Ash had been so sure we would at least make it into the finals on this show? “Did something happen in this episode that I don’t know about? You were so sure we’d make it to the finals last week when we talked.”

  Jude sighed. “That’s the thing with these stupid reality shows. One relatively normal day can be suddenly so dramatic on screen once the editors get their hands on it.”

  “Can you stop being so cryptic and just tell me what happened?”

  “Didn’t Elaina tell you?”

  “Tell me what?”

  From the other room, my sister called to me. “Neil! It’s about to start! Hurry up!”

  “The show’s about to start, Jude… spit it out.”

  “Her ex showed up to the bakery.”

  “Oh,” I exhaled in relief. That’s what all this was about? “I know, she told me.”

  Another long pause. “And you’re… okay?”

  “Yeah. She said it was totally over between them.”

  He cleared his throat. “Wow. Okay, you’re a bigger man than I am. If Marly’s ex came in and kissed her one day, I don’t think I’d be so calm.”

  My throat went dryer than cotton. “What did you say?” All the blood drained from my face, and an icy cold descended down my body in its place. I felt numb. My fist clenched in a movement that was completely outside of my control.

  Jude hissed a curse. “I knew it. I knew you didn’t know. There was no way you would have remained so calm if she had told you.”

  My mind was reeling. What kind of kiss was it? Did he barely touch his lips to hers before she pushed him away? Did she give in in the moment and then realize afterward that she didn’t love him anymore? Was it that kiss that was the catalyst for her truly being over him?

  “I have to go.”

  “I’m sorry, Neil. Don’t do anything stupid—”

  But I didn’t let him finish that thought—I disconnected the call as I walked out into the den where everyone was seated around the television. I didn’t go into the room though. Instead, I hung in the doorway and crossed my arms. My jaw was set so hard that I was grinding my teeth, sawing away the enamel with such tension that my jaw actually ached.

  Elaina looked back at me, a questioning expression twisting her face. She patted the empty spot next to her on the couch and gestured for me to join her. I shook my head. I didn’t want to make a scene in front of her family. Or mine for that matter. Maybe Jude had built-up this so-called kiss into something more than it actually was. Maybe it was nothing more than a quick peck.

  But deep in my gut, I knew better.

  The question was, did I stick around to watch it happen on national television? Did I pull her aside now and ask about it? Or—

  Before I could finish my thought, the announcer on the show stated, “In this week’s episode, we will find out which of the remaining couples will bake it… or break it. This challenge was full of laughs, stress, tears, love, and deception.”

  As usual with any TV show, they played some clips of what was to come. Turns out, I didn’t have to wait the whole episode. They put the kiss right in the teaser. There on the screen, Elaina was pressed against her ex, his mouth on hers. His arms wrapped around her waist. Her hands were at his chest.

  I sucked in a sharp breath, and the pain that sliced through my chest was like a shiv. I knew I told her not to go into detail about the visit from Brad, but she should have known she needed to tell me about this. At least before I watched it on national television with our friends and family.

  Elaina gasped as the entire room fell silent. I was unable to look anywhere but down at my own shoes.

  “But… but I pushed him away,” Elaina said. “I bit his lip and pushed him away! Are they not going to show that?”

  Still, I didn’t look up. I couldn’t yet.

  “Maybe… they will show that later?” Addy offered, her voice small. Addy’s voice was never small. She was never meek or quiet.

  “Neil…” Elaina stood, and I backed out of the room and down the hall, still clutching my half empty beer bottle in my clenched fist. I heard Elaina chasing after me.

  “Neil,” she said again as we stepped out into her parents’ driveway. “I was telling you about that last week. You said you didn’t want to know. You told me you didn’t want to hear the ways he tried to win me back. Remember?”

  I blinked, ignoring the knot of tension in the center of my throat. And the hot moisture threatening the rims of my eyes.

  I nodded. “I remember,” I managed to say.

  “Okay,” she said, taking a careful step toward me.

  I shook my head. “Did you think they wouldn’t air that kiss, though, Lainey? Did you think I wouldn’t find out and see it for myself?”

  “I-I… I wasn’t thinking, I guess. I assumed they’d show the whole scene, including the bloody lip I gave Brad. Ask Liam… he was there.”

  I closed my eyes, not able to unsee Brad with his lips on hers. “It’s not that I don’t believe you,” I whispered. Elaina wasn’t a liar. She wasn’t a cheater. There was no way in hell she would kiss another man in a way that meant something and then come share my bed with me that same night. “I just wish you had thought ahead enough to give me a bit of a head’s up about this, so I wasn’t blindsided tonight. So that I wasn’t standing there in your parents’ mansion like an idiot, staring at the TV while your ex kissed you on national television.”

  “You said…”

  “I know what I said. I guess this is partially my fault. I figured, if it was something I really needed to know, you would have told me. If it was something that would jeopardize us getting into the finals of the show…” I shook my head and tried to take a deep breath. A calming breath. But it wasn’t working. My pulse was racing. My head was spinning. And my heart was breaking.

  Her face went white as a sheet. “You don’t think we’re going to make it into the finals now? Because of that stupid kiss?”

  I shrugged. “Jude called me right before the show began and he seems to think we’re in trouble. I’m guessing that they didn’t show the footage of you biting him… pushing him away… if that’s the case.”


  She gulped, and she looked so scared… so sad that I couldn’t help walking toward her and taking her in my arms. I rested my chin on the top of her head and sighed.

  “Oh my God,” she whispered. “How could I be so stupid? All this for nothing…”

  I kissed her forehead, backing away. “I need a little space tonight, Elaina,” I whispered, then clarified, “It’s not goodbye. I just need to think.” I needed some time alone to wrap my head around this and eradicate that image of her lips on another man’s from my mind.

  She nodded and a tear slipped down her cheek. I caught it with my thumb and brushed the droplet across her cheekbone. “I’m so sorry. I’ll… I’ll fix this.”

  I gave a humorless chuckle that sounded more like a sharp exhale, but I nodded. “It’ll be okay, Elaina. Whatever happens… we’ll be okay.”

  “But your mother—”

  “She’ll be okay, too.” But even as I said it, I wasn’t so sure anymore. We were barely going to get out from under this debt with the winnings… and now we were adding another very expensive, six-figure surgery into the mix. “I love you,” I said. “And I trust you.”

  Elaina sobbed, her head falling between her shoulders, and she squeezed my hands. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

  “You don’t have to be sorry,” I said.

  “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. Even when you told me not to… I should have.”

  I nodded. “Maybe. But like I said. We’re okay. I just need a couple of hours.” I kissed her forehead again, then turned and got into my Jeep. I needed a midnight swim in the lake. I needed time to think. To process. To come up with a plan B.

  As I got into the Jeep, I called Jude on my Bluetooth. I didn’t want to leave for another job… but a three-month gig could get us much further in our payments. “Neil,” he answered right away. “That was fast.”

  “Send me over the information for the Budapest shoot,” I said.

  It wasn’t ideal, but it might be necessary.

  I walked silently back into my parents’ house, shame and guilt spiraling through my body. How could I face Neil’s family in there? I didn’t do anything wrong… I knew that logically. But I also knew how this looked. And it looked bad.

  I quietly shut the door behind me, and leaned my head back, closing my eyes. From the other room, I could hear Liam’s voice. “That footage is bullshit, you guys.”

  “Liam,” Linda scolded. “Watch your tone.”

  “Sorry Mom, but it’s true. I was there, and the kiss they showed on TV was only two seconds before she bit his freaking lip. Seriously… she made him bleed.”

  I smiled, and the fear and guilt dissipated like a single grain of salt in a bathtub of water.

  “We believe you,” Addy said.

  “Yeah, bro. No one here doesn’t believe what you’re saying,” Finn said.

  “We love Elaina,” Linda said quietly, and I imagined she was saying that to my parents more than Liam.

  “Yeah,” Liam added. “But what about Neil? I need to go find him… tell him what I saw—”

  I took a deep breath and walked back into the den. “Neil’s fine.” I looked around, giving them my best brave smile. “He’s rattled and needs a little time to himself, but he knows the truth.”

  Liam’s tight expression relaxed, and he nodded, blowing out a breath. I glanced up at the TV, still playing Bake It or Break It in the background, now muted. Tears filled my eyes. “But he… he brought up a good point. We’re going to be voted off this week. I doubt there’s any way viewers will be voting for us if they think I cheated like that… and there goes that money we all need.” I sniffled and shook my head. “Hardin Montgomery.” I glanced up at my dad. “He paid Brad to come to the bakery that day and kiss me. I don’t know how he found out my plan, or if he just suspected I was going to use that money for the mill… but he sabotaged us on purpose.”

  Dad nodded, his blue eyes wincing, and his deeply lined face tilted into a frown. “He knew your deadline… which syncs up with the show. And it’s public record how much money we need. It isn’t hard to put two and two together. And as slimy as Hardin is… he’s not dumb.”

  Liam’s eyes went wide, and he jerked his phone from his back pocket. “Wait… I have an idea. I was there that day. And I have video on my phone of you yelling at Brad.”

  I shrugged, defeated. “I signed my life away in those contracts. I’m not allowed to speak out publicly against anything the show did—”

  “But I didn’t sign anything,” Liam said. “And it’s my footage. I can go live on social media and show the footage of him bleeding and you cussing him out. Maybe it’ll help you win some votes back?”

  My eyes widened, and my heart skipped a beat. Hell, it was worth a try. I glanced at the clock on the wall. “We have forty-seven minutes left in the show! Do it!”

  Liam typed something into the phone and posted the video. Then, with a few more taps to his screen, he went live and told the story he had seen from his perspective.

  That night, I got back to Neil’s cabin just as he was coming in from a swim in the lake. The towel was draped around his neck. Water dripped from his damp hair down his bare chest and torso. A single drop of water navigated those dips and curves like an Olympic skier down the slopes.

  Nerves fired off in my body and I wet my lips, looking at him. He startled, seeing me, then softened, his expression tilting into a sad smile.

  He held out his arms, and I rushed into them, not caring that he was still damp.

  “I’m sorry,” I said again. I wished I could go back in time and tell Neil everything ahead of time. Actually, if we were time traveling, then I would wish I could go back and punch Brad before that kiss ever happened.

  “Shh,” Neil hushed me, pressing his lips to the top of my head and smoothing my hair with his still-wet hand. “My reaction didn’t help. You tried to tell me, and I stopped you.”

  I pulled back from within his arms and looked up into his bright green eyes. “No. This is not your fault. I should have known to tell you. I just wasn’t thinking. And it meant nothing—”

  He quieted me by pressing his lips to mine. Surprised, I stiffened at first, but then quickly sank deeper into the kiss, sighing against his mouth. There was a moment tonight, I feared the worst. I feared I may never feel those lips again.

  He pulled back and brushed his thumb across my bottom lip. “We’re going to be okay. We’ll figure all of this out—my mom’s surgery, your mill—”

  “The mill can wait. Your mom’s surgery is priority.” Neil had filled me in on his mother’s scan results the other night, and the news was devastating. That wasn’t how her story was supposed to go. She was supposed to go through chemo and triumph over cancer. Kick its ass like the little bitch it was.

  He gave a sad chuckle. “You know she would disagree with you, right? She would make some argument about how the health clinic would benefit so many more people than just her.”

  I grabbed his hand, squeezing it in mine. “Then we’ll find a way to do both.” It just might have to be somewhere that is cheaper than the mill redevelopment. There are other properties available that would better fit the town’s budget… even though I had my heart set on the mill, I could relinquish that.

  He blew out a breath and shook his head. “We’re a long way off from a million, though,” he whispered and raked his free hand through his wet hair.

  A smile twitched at my lips. “Not that far off,” I said.

  “What are you talking about?”

  I smiled. “We’re going to finals.”

  His brows creased, and he examined me like I was an escaped mental patient. “What are you talking about?”

  I grabbed my phone from my back pocket and pressed play on the videos Liam had posted on the Beefcakes Facebook page. Neil’s little brother’s voice rang through the speaker.

  “Hey everyone! Liam here with Beefcakes Bakery. I just want to say that the footage shown on tonight’s show of Bake
it or Break It wasn’t how anything went. Click on the video below to see what really happened when Elaina’s ex-boyfriend kissed her. That woman has all the integrity in the world and I, for one, can’t think of a better person for my brother. Deuces!”

  The live video clicked out and then his cell phone video of me screaming at Brad came on. It finished and I grinned at Neil, pocketing my phone. “Liam posted that as soon as he could. Enough people saw it and voted for us.”

  Neil’s smile widened. “We’re in?”

  I nodded. “We’re in!”

  Neil lifted me, spinning me around the kitchen, and I squealed as one of my shoes went flying off of my foot. The front of my dress was wet from the lake water dripping off his body, but I couldn’t care less. As he slowly lowered me, I cupped his face in my hands. “I love you.”

  I watched as he gulped, the thick line of his throat moving. His eyes drifted closed, and he dropped his forehead to mine. “You love me,” he repeated.

  “Don’t act like you didn’t know that I love you. We both say it all the time.”

  He chuckled. “It’ll never get old, though. I’ll never tire of hearing those words from you.”

  One week later, Neil and I were on set in Astoria, NY for the final episode of Bake It or Break It.

  We had our own dressing room—far fancier than the set-up for any of the challenges we had done back in Maple Grove. As the hair and makeup artist finished with Neil, I wandered over to the door and cracked it open to peek out onto the set.

  The large crew was hustling and bustling around the soundstage. The crew was triple the size we’d had on location for the local challenges. A Kraft Services table was in the corner. The stage looked like a modern, industrial kitchen with a long table at the front where the judges would sit.

  We hadn’t met the two other couples yet. I knew them from watching the television show, but who knew how accurate the show made anyone out to be.

  I closed the door, backing into the dressing room as Neil finished up and tugged the bib off his neck. “I’m gonna go grab a coffee. You want one?”