by C A Jonelle
Zaryk and Amberlynn walk up, his arm around her shoulders, and they’re both laughing. “This guy … wow. I wish I’d seen that fight!” Amberlynn laughs as she jabs at his abs with her fists.
“Yeah, it was so awesome,” he mutters sarcastically and then smashes his lips against the side of her head. “Go tame the wildebeest that’s attempting to dance. My god, that’s awful.” Amberlynn giggles and hurries to Deklan. Zaryk looks at me and he offers his hand. “Come outside with me.” He nods toward the door that leads to the deck. “Out there.” I look straight ahead and he kneels down, speaking close to my ear. “Lyndsay, I’ll drag you by your hair if you don’t go out there on that deck with me. You’re pissed and I don’t give a fuck. What you’re thinking is wrong.”
How dare he talk to me like that? He holds his hand out to me again and shoots an eyebrow up. I sigh and reluctantly place my hand in his.
I walk through the door first and lean on the far railing, the door clicking shut behind me. The moon is shining over the water, casting a soft glow on the deck. I feel the heat of his body behind me.
“I want to touch you, but I’m afraid you might hit me.” His voice is almost a whisper. It sends chills down my spine and I shiver slightly.
I keep my back to him and continue staring at the water. “Why did you kiss her?”
“I didn’t.”
Turning toward him, I lean back against the rail and sigh. “Please, Zaryk, I saw you.”
“Did you see me tell her to fuck off?”
I open my mouth and he holds up a hand to halt any words. “Don’t assume that I wanted her, Lyndsay. There’s no way in hell I’d ever think about being with her. That kiss you saw was all her and it lasted a split second. You saw that part and figured she and I were back together and about to live happily ever after. Fuck that shit. Why the hell would I go back to someone who’s fucked me over so damn much? Did you not see what she did to my guitar? Did you not see the fake pregnancy belly lying on my bedroom floor? Did you not know that she cheated on me?” He moves closer with each question, until he’s flush with my body. My breathing picks up as our eyes lock and his hand gently touches the side of my face. “Why would I still be coming after you if I wanted to be with her? She’s dead to me - she’s nothing. I love you.” His hand cups the back of my neck, drawing me closer to him as he leans down, brushing his soft lips against mine. “I can’t stand to be away from you. God, Lyndsay, you have no idea what you do to me.”
“Show me, Zaryk. Show me what I do to you,” I whisper against his lips, closing my eyes.
The heat of his breath is no longer on my lips and my eyes fly open. His back is to me now. As he rubs the back of his neck with his hand he exhales through those perfect, kissable lips. Panic fills me as I watch him walk toward the door. Is he leaving?
He pauses in front of it and turns back to me. “I need to know how you feel about me, Lynds, before anything happens between us again. I know you love me. Why are you so afraid to tell me?” I look away.
“I want you Lyndsay. More than you can even understand at the moment.” He approaches me again and touches the side of my face with the back of his hand. His lips kiss mine gently and I melt as he threads his fingers through my hair. “I won’t ever hurt you. I promise. Please give me a chance to be with you. There’re some things I can live without, but not you.”
“So I’m a thing?” I try to be sarcastic and lighten the tense atmosphere.
His face moves away from mine again. “You know what I meant.” Anger flickers in his tone.
I watch him walk toward the door again. I feel empty. Depleted. When he touches me my whole body erupts in sensual bliss. I want to tell him how I feel. I want to tell him so bad, but Corbin hurt me horribly. Panic’s rising like bile inside me. My breathing is short and heavy. My chest is rising and falling rapidly, my eyes filling with tears. I just want to scream.
“Zaryk, I love you!” I yell as his hand reaches for the doorknob. He freezes and I rush toward him. He turns and, instead of smiling, he’s frowning. He doesn’t believe me. “I know I’ve said it before. I meant it then and I mean it now. I mean it more than ever now. You scare me. You’re lifestyle scares me. Kendall scares me. I don’t want to get hurt and if you hurt me …” I swallow the lump in my throat.
He wraps his arms around my waist and presses our bodies together. “There’s nothing in this world that could keep me from loving you. No one. No woman out there could make me feel the way you do. You’re beautiful, inside and out. I never stopped thinking about you. We belong together, Lynds. We always have.”
And with that he brings his lips to mine. The world falls away and any doubt flees my body. When we part, his lips are curled in a mischievous grin. He turns the lock that sits near the top of the door and kicks down a stopper at the bottom. When he’s facing me again, I give him an odd look.
“That’s to keep the others out.” He winks and hoists me over his shoulder, taking me toward a wide bench that’s built along one of the sides of the deck. Gently, he lays me down and settles on top of me.
“I believe I left you hanging the last time we were together. How about I make it up to you now?”
I swallow hard and my eyes open wide. “Out here? What if someone catches us?”
He chuckles and sits back on his feet. Taking my hand he helps me up and pushes my legs over the edge of the bench, kneeling between them, and smirking as he looks at me. “I still want to taste you, Lyndsay … all of you. I’m going to do it right here, right now, whether you like it or not.”
My heart skips a beat … or two. Is he really going to do this, in public? How do I know those locks will keep people out of here?
“Will you relax? I can smell the fear radiating off you.” He grips my chin and pulls me down for a kiss. “We have major ties with the owner, love. Hence, the locks. No one will even try to come out here. Didn’t it seem odd that it was vacant?”
I nod. I can’t even form words right now.
“Okay then.” He kneels back down and pulls my jeans and panties down my legs slowly. The cool night air hits my flesh, causing little goose bumps on my legs. I look at Zaryk. The hunger in his eyes flashes as he licks his lips. His tongue ring glistening in the light of the moon as it skims across his top lip. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a little spikey looking object.
“What the hell is that?” My body straightens and my heart beats frantically.
He laughs as he looks it over. “I bought this a while back and never used it. Dummy me had it in my mind to make you insanely jealous tonight so I shoved it in my pocket thinking I’d try it out on whomever was interested.” He drops his hand and sits back on his feet. “Boy that sounded desperate. Anyway … it’s a tickler. A vibrating tongue ring.” He unscrews the ring in his mouth and replaces it with the bright green thing in his hand.
“I don’t know about this, Zaryk.”
“Don’t be such a prude, Lyndsay.” He dives in, licking up my slit. He hums in approval as his tongue reaches my sensitive nub. My body is still tense and I let out a shaky breath as I watch him. He looks up at me through his long lashes and I lean back on my elbows, submitting to his wondrous tongue. I feel him grin against me in approval. His eyes are still on mine when he reaches up to twist and turn the vibration of the ring on.
He lowers his face again and I’m met with the glorious feel of the vibration. My head tips back. “Oh, God,” I whisper and fist a hand into his hair.
His expert tongue circles around my clit and I feel like I’ll lose it quickly. I don’t want this to stop. He must sense my need, because he lowers his tongue to my opening and plunges inside. I gasp and moan loudly as he moves it in and out, and twists it around at a ferocious speed.
I cry out when he skims my clit again and then moves back down to my hole. My mind is completely jumbled and I fall back.
Zaryk reaches under my thighs and props them up on his shoulders. The vibration of this tiny piece of metal on his
tongue is so intense that I can barely hold on any longer. He reaches up and cups both of my breasts, pinching and twisting each nipple.
“Zaryk, please,” Both sensations are too much and I shatter immediately, crying out loudly. He licks up every last drop and my body jolts from the pulses of the tongue ring. I can’t take it. My body can’t take it. I feel like I’m going to explode again. “Please turn that off.” I look down at him. I’m panting heavily as I beg him with my eyes.
His eyes flick up to mine and he grins. He glides the tickler over my sensitive spot again and my body jerks and shakes. I groan loudly and drop my head back. He leaves his tongue there and the pulsation takes me over the edge again. I scream and grab his hair, pulling his face away as my climax takes me on an intense high.
I lift my head to look at him as he glides a couple of fingers in between my folds and sticks them in his mouth, sucking and licking my juices from them. I cover my face with my hands and drop my head back down. He laughs as he pulls himself up and sits beside me, switching to his regular tongue ring.
“That was definitely worth the money.” He eyes it and then shoves it back in his pocket. He looks down at me. “You okay?” He laughs again.
I sigh. “Better than okay.”
He leans down and kisses me. “I don’t think there’s anything hotter than watching your face when you come.”
I can feel my face flush red and I giggle. He jumps up and throws my clothes beside me. My body straightens up and I stare at him. “What about you? Don’t you need … um … to, you know.” I’m eyeballing his package.
“You’re worth the wait, love.” A wicked grin crosses his face as he turns toward the door. He stops, waiting for me to get dressed.
“Um, so tomorrow, I think I might go to Kendall’s apartment,” he begins and I scowl. “Let me finish. I want to get her help. With Seth taken care of for at least a night or two I’m afraid she’ll do something foolish. Maybe I can talk her into getting the help she needs so she can move on with her life.”
I stand there and think for a moment. His heart is in the right place and I can’t deny his words. She does need help. If he can provide it for her, then I guess I should let him. As much as I can’t stand the idea of them being alone together, I’ll push the horrible thoughts I have aside and let him do what he needs to do.
I kiss him long and hard on the mouth, my hand making its way to the back of his head, my fingers grasping his hair. When our kiss ends I look up at him with pure love and adoration. “Do what you need to do to make sure she’s okay. I’ll be there when you get back.”
He kisses me and we head back out to the club to finish our night. When we get home, I’ll give him what he’s waiting for.
~ Twenty-One ~
Zaryk
I ride the elevator to Kendall’s third-floor apartment. I know I shouldn’t give a crap about what she does with her life anymore, but I’m worried. Maybe I can talk her into getting some help. I still care about her and I don’t want to see her go down this road.
I approach her door and knock. She was so excited at the thought of moving out of this apartment complex one day. When I proposed that was her ticket out. We were going to build a house out in the middle of nowhere and have a couple of kids we could let run wild through our giant backyard. Man, it’s crazy how things can change just like that.
I know deep down inside that Lyndsay isn’t thrilled about me being here, but she understands. It wouldn’t be right to leave Kendall in the state she’s in. Last night was freaky. The way she was acting was beyond fucked up and I can’t get that laugh out of my head.
I knock again and call her name through the door. “Kendall, open up.” Still no answer.
My worry-meter goes up. Her car’s parked along the curb, so she should be home. I pound harder. Panic seeps through my veins. Something isn’t right. I check the knob. It’s unlocked.
I peek inside. “Kendall?” I step into the apartment and cautiously walk down the tiny hall to the family room.
My heart takes a flying leap into my throat when I find her hunched over the coffee table. I race around the couch and carefully lift her body. Her lips are blue and she’s lifeless. White powder cakes her shirt and is spilt all over the table.
I yank my phone out of my back pocket and call for help. When I hang up I shift her limp body onto my lap and cradle her in my arms.
“Shit, Kendall. What the fuck?” The tears flow and there’s nothing I can do to stop them.
Lights flash and sirens wail outside. It doesn’t take long for the paramedics to burst in. I hurry out of the way so they can check her out. The cops have made their way into the apartment now. One looks vaguely familiar.
“Can you tell me what happened, sir?” he asks me.
“She didn’t answer when I knocked on the door … and …” I’m starting to feel lightheaded.
“Have a seat son.” He takes my arm and leads me to the tiny kitchen table. I sit in one of the chairs and he takes a seat across from me.
“I was coming over to confront her about her addiction and beg her to get help. Shit.” I lean my forehead against my propped up hands.
“You found her like this?” he asks.
I twist my head in his direction and glower. “Of course I did! You don’t think I did this to her do you? That idiot Seth who you guys arrested last night is the one who got her hooked on the crap!” I look at the officer a little closer now. “My god it’s like déjà vu.”
“Excuse me?” he asks, confused.
“You’re the officer I talked to when my sister was killed.”
He looks down at his little notepad and shakes his head. “Ah, yes. That day’s stuck with me. Every time I see you on television or on a magazine cover I’m reminded of it. How’re you and your family?”
I hang my head. “Everyone else seems fine. I’ve been a giant mess.”
He places his hand on my arm and gently squeezes. “You and her were close I take it?”
“Yeah.” The tears begin to flow again. “And Kendall,” I point behind me with my thumb, “is my ex-fiancé.”
The officer sits back. “I’m sorry.”
I plant my elbows on the table, put my forehead in my hands, and just stare at the tabletop. The officer pats my back and leaves me to myself. The coroner arrives and pronounces her time of death as being sometime during the night. Before I know it I’m left alone in the tiny apartment.
******
Lyndsay
I’m so happy I can finally just be with Zaryk. I have to trust him. If he says he’s not going to hurt me then I believe him. I’m not thrilled he’s gone over to Kendall’s, but she needs his help. It still tugs at my heart that he cares about her, but they have a history together. You can’t erase a history like that overnight.
I pull my phone out to check my messages when Zayden comes into the living room. He’s on the phone and he looks apprehensive.
“Yeah, sure, Z,” Zayden says with concern in his voice. “If you need us, let me know. See ya.” He hangs up.
“Is Zaryk okay?” Zayne asks.
“Kendall’s dead,” Zayden mumbles, still looking at the phone in his hand.
We all look at him in complete surprise.
“What? How?” Zayne’s eyes are wide.
“Z said she overdosed.” He sits on the floor beside Jessica.
My heart aches for Zaryk. Hasn’t he been through enough? And I haven’t made things any easier.
“Where’s he at?” Deklan asks.
“He and the cops are on their way to Kendall’s parents. The police wanted to tell them, but he insisted it would be better if he did.” Zayden strokes Jessica’s hair as he speaks.
“God, I hope he’s okay.” Amberlynn says.
I want to text or call him, but feel like I should leave him alone for now, though I know his heart must be breaking. We watch TV and try not to talk until Zaryk walks in the door. The sky is dark by the time he gets home.
“Hey guys.” He throws his keys on the table beside the door.
His eyes are puffy and the tip of his nose is red. The pain on his face tears my heart in two. He smiles weakly when he sees me. Zayne and Zayden hop up to greet him.
“You okay?” Zayden’s concern for him is sweet. Zayne keeps his distance. It’s as if he doesn’t want to get too close. The differences in these men are astounding. They may look the same, but their personalities are definitely their own.
Zaryk sighs heavily and pinches the bridge of his nose with this finger and thumb. “Yeah, I think so.” He drops his hand and takes a deep breath. “I never want to see her mom like that again.”
“When’s the funeral?” Amberlynn says, wrapping her arms around him and giving him a tight squeeze.
“Uh, whenever they get the autopsy results back. They want to be sure it was an overdose I guess. Her mom said she’s making them rush so Kendall can be laid to rest. They’re planning for Friday.” He laughs nervously and looks away. He’s trying to hide how he feels.
He’s about to cry and I just want to hold him. Amberlynn beats me to it though because she wraps her arms around him again and hugs him tight. I see a tear trickle down his cheek.
She unravels her arms and steps back to take a good look at him. “Go upstairs and get some rest, hon.”
He casts his eyes downward as he starts for the stairs. “Yeah. I’ll catch you guys later.” He disappears. I hesitate to follow. I don’t know whether to leave him alone or comfort him.
******
Zaryk
I close my door and lean back against it, letting the tears flow. Why? Why’d she do it? Was it my fault? Was I too hard on her last night? I go over to my desk and lean forward on my hands, rocking back and forth, my labored breathing almost making me dizzy. There’s a small glass guitar that I got from Kendall as a birthday gift on the desk. I yell and grab it, hurling it across the room. It shatters against the wall.
Death is a wound that never heals. There’s a gaping hole in my heart and it’s never going to go away. Now it’s grown bigger, surpassing any strength I have to help it get better. It’ll still be there until the day I fucking die.