by David Bennis
Deception is considered dark when the intended motive to the person being deceived is negative or indifferent. The motivation behind a normal deception is usually an inability to confront the truth in a situation. On the other hand, dark deception is an understanding that doesn’t serve the deceiver’s deceptive aims. Therefore, the truth is either ignored, hidden, or changed in favor of the version of events that suits the purpose of the deceiver better. In simple terms, people who exploit dark psychology using deception do it to harm not to help the other person but themselves. This is usually done at any cost without regarding who gets hurt.
The deception spectrum
While deception can occur at different sizes, there is no difference between small and large scale deception, as long as they have malicious intentions, they are all dark. The deception spectrum explains the fact that it is the purpose of the deception and not the size of it that determines whether it is dark or not.
A lot of people have this misconception that deception doesn’t matter if it is small, but it is only serious when it is big. This is very wrong. Expert manipulators can use small deceptions in a powerfully dark way, and most times, they are even more effective than the larger ones. Likewise, expert manipulators have carried out some of the largest deceptions just to serve their own goals and objectives.
Some of the dark but small deceptions include when someone tests how gullible another person is and conditioning them into believing their deceptive statements and actions. If a person manages to condition their victim into believing smaller lies gradually, that victim is likely to accept a larger lie in the future. Gradual conditioning is one way where smaller deceptions are used as a dark psychological weapon.
Another way of using them is by undermining a victim’s trust in their own reason and logic. When manipulators manage to deceive their victim over small issues, over time, the victim will start questioning what is going on and may end up concluding that their suspicion is unreasonable and illogical and therefore they cannot trust their own judgment. Instead of doubting the person deceiving them, their end up concluding that their judgment is faulty. Deceivers and manipulators are usually aware of this general “trust” people have of themselves and mercilessly seek to exploit it.
When it comes to large scale deception, it is also largely used in practicing dark psychology. A good example of a large deception is when someone successfully convinces another that they are a totally different person. And not just the personality but everything about them from the name, date of birth to their entire identity. This is one example that shows that the most skilled dark psychology users can persuade other people to believe in their false portrayal entirely.
Deceptive subjects
Let us explore some of the most common subjects and topics that people are deceived about.
Money
The old saying “money is the root of all evil” is well known. While this is sort of an exaggeration, money is definitely the route of many deceptions. Money and deception cross paths in many ways. Some deceive to attain money, hide their own money or lack of it. A very good example of a deceiver using dark psychology deception that involves money is a professional beggar. The main aim of these individuals is to extract money from the public in spite of having plenty of it. There are those beggars who go to extreme lengths and inflict themselves with injuries to appear more desperate. Some have even been known to turn their own kids into drug addicts and use them as their scam to get money from people.
Marital status
Sometimes, a manipulative person can hide their marital background while trying to seduce a new victim. The intentions behind this are usually money or sexual, but there are other reasons too. An example is a man who has several wives, and none of the wives know about the existence of the other. Thankfully, the emergence of the internet and more particularly social media, which gives people the ability to check up on others has made this type of deception very hard. But there are still those expert deceivers who manage to keep their tracks hidden from each from their fraudulent wives.
Then there are those who choose to introduce themselves as married when they are actually not. This can be done for various reasons. For instance, when two people pretend to be married because a married couple is usually perceived as more trustworthy compared to an unmarried couple. Manipulators are very aware of this perception, and they use it for their own plans and schemes, especially money.
A criminal background
Having a criminal background makes it very hard to be trusted both personally and professionally. For instance, a man may find it hard to tell a woman they are romantically interested in that they have a criminal background. Interestingly, the intention behind this kind of deception is not usually dark. In our example, the man may hide his criminal background to his romantic interest for fear of being rejected, which isn’t dark. But, if the intention behind the deception is to hide the truth only to harm the woman later on, then it is dark psychology at work.
One of the worst things that people can do is deceive about the criminal past that consisted of things like rape or murder just to do them all over again to their new victim. People that possess dark psyche of this kind are usually driven by their abnormal urges to the point of doing anything, including deceiving other people just so they can give in to these compulsions.
Abnormal or socially unacceptable feelings or behaviors
Manipulators are very good at hiding this, especially to prevent their victim from being alerted about who they really are until it is too late. For example, a person might only be interested in another for sexual purposes but deceive the other that they want a loving and committed relationship by openly lying or implying it to avoid raising any red flags. In the end, the victim falls for it, the manipulator wins, and another victim ends up being hurt by deception.
Hiding the truth about one’s personal feelings for the other is one of the most common areas of deception. It is one of the most powerful manipulation tools used to influence victims into perceiving things the way the manipulator wants instead of how or who they really are. This may leave the victim feeling like they hit the jackpot like they have found the lover of their dream. In actuality, expert manipulators have the ability to identify people’s weaknesses and explore their psychological needs and shortcomings and use them to their advantage. This deception is usually the beginning of more twisted long-term manipulations.
In non-romantic contexts, deception is used to soften the victim’s feelings and increase their vulnerability to manipulation. For example, when on the hunt for a vulnerable person to manipulate, manipulators would portray themselves as an innocent, easy-going, or a casual person to get close to their victim. This deception can go on and on as long as the manipulator wants. Whatever the victim needs, the manipulator becomes for as long as possible in order to lower their guard and make way for the manipulation to start.
Deception tactics
Each deception tactic is equally powerful, and expert manipulators know when to deploy them at their most harmful and impactful moment. It is important to note that expert manipulators would rather juggle between the following four tactics rather than alternate between them and that any given deception tactic is likely to involve a combination of each.
Lying
This is probably the most common and most obvious form of deception. Manipulators use this tactic when they realize their victim can be lied to easily and are unable to work out the truth most times. This happens when the victim is generally a very trusting person or that manipulators have worked on the care that over time, they ended up lowering their guard. Most times, when manipulators use lying as their form of deception, they usually have a “plan b” to fall back on if the victim starts noticing any discrepancies.
Lying usually takes place in a simple and thought out manner. An expert deceiver is likely to lodge their lies into truthful information as time goes by. Sometimes, manipulators may spend a great deal of time associa
ting truth with a particular gesture or voice then they say something that is false but with that same gesture or tone of voice. This will more likely translate to the victim’s subconscious to perceive the lie as truth.
Implying
This is a more subtle form of deception when compared to utter lies. Implying involves giving the idea that something false is true instead of stating it as it is boldly. For example, when someone wants to deceive their victim concerning the amount of money they possess, they can choose to either lie or imply. When they are lying, the manipulator would say something like “I am so rich I have a lot of money,” and they clearly know they don’t have that money. But, when making an implication, the manipulator would be like “Accountants are so hard to deal with, getting my tax bill down is always a hustle.” In this case, the manipulator has hinted that they have money without having to state it flatly.
Implying is a manipulator’s favorite because it offers reasonable deniability. If the manipulator is accused of lying by their victim, they can simply say they did no such thing, and it will technically be true. Implications also work so well on victims who have an active imagination. The implication can be seen as a seed planted in the victim’s mind. Therefore, the victim’s imagination ends up doing the hard work for the manipulator by creating an idealized version of reality encouraged by the manipulator.
Omission
This form of deception is simply the failure to mention something true. While lying and implying use falsehood to varying degrees to cover the truth, omission simply goes the route of ignoring the truth and swaying the victim far from it. From example, if a person has a criminal past that they do not want their new love interest to know about, they would simply never mention it. If asked about a particular time in their life when they would always swerve the subject or draw attention to other better times in their past.
Surrounding a situation with an “emotional fence” is one way that deception by omission is done. This simply means that the manipulator always implies that topic or that period of their life is too uncomfortable or painful to discuss. The victim would then willingly avoid mentioning or talking about that time or asking awkward questions relating to it. This act allows manipulators to avoid talking about the truth and at the same time, makes the victim feel guilty for trying to ouch a “painful topic.”
Fraud
Of all the deception tactics, fraud is the most intricate and one mostly used for criminal intentions. You can think of fraud as a lie but beefed up with steroids. A fraudulent person would not only lie but will even have a story behind it, false documents and any other evidence to back up the lie. Expert deceivers will use this evidence cleverly and in a subtle manner. For instance, instead of calling out for their false documents to be looked at, like a college certificate, they will leave them around where they know their victim will see them. This is because they know too well that if their fraudulent claims appear too “pushy,” the victim may work out that something is not right.
Worryingly, the widespread presence and dominance of computers and the internet have aided fraud very much. Today, deceivers can easily forge realistic-looking certificates with the use of professional-grade software. A common and simple example of fraud is when a person forges a certificate that will help them obtain jobs. Fraudsters are the most dangerous and committed dark psychology users. This is someone who is risking being caught on the wrong side of the law and facing serious criminal charges; therefore, you can imagine their level of commitment to the manipulation they are attempting.
Mind games
Mind games are one of those dark psychological traits that many people would claim to recognize and understand in the course of their everyday life. However, people rarely recognize and understand mind games accurately. It is just the same way people claim to feel depressed without meeting the actual psychological definition of depression. People think that they understand the meaning of mind games when they really have no idea what it means.
There are those who attribute mind games to a wide variety of normal behavior. For example, if someone is hinting at some kind of surprise to another or just teasing them, they will say that they are playing mind games at them. Well, within the world of dark psychology, this is not true. When someone plays genuinely dark mind games to another, the intentions are usually not good, positive or friendly. This means that innocent “games” like surprises and teasing falls outside of the categorization of mind games right away.
So if mind games, in the dark psychology sense of the term, are not innocent “games” then what exactly are mind games? Mind games are defined as any kind of psychological scheme that manipulators plot against their victims with the intention of playing games with the victim’s willpower and sanity. This varies from the other forms of dark psychology manipulation in that in this case; the manipulator is constantly “toying” with the victim. Unlike in other forms of manipulation, the manipulator here is less invested in the end result and also has less regard for the situation’s severity.
Therefore, to understand dark mind games, it can be said that it is just a game played by the manipulator to their victim for their own delight and amusement without regarding the victim’s wellbeing. No matter the kind of mind game being played, the usual intention is to “test” their victim as well as exploring their psyche. The best mind games played of a dark nature never has evident intentions, and when this is the case, it not only makes them difficult to detect but also destructive once they are deployed.
The motivation behind mind games
When exploring the difference between innocent and dark mind games, let’s look at the motivation behind mind games of manipulative nature. One reason for manipulators to resort to playing mind games on their victims is to manipulate them into thinking or feeling or to behave in a certain way. In this situation, the manipulator may have tried and failed other forms of manipulation and has opted for something less obvious like mind games. Also, they may choose to act this way solely for their own twisted amusement. This takes place when the manipulator tries to get influence as well as the pleasure that comes with their mind game deployment.
Basically, minds games are very good at reducing psychological strength and certainty in a very subtle manner that is hard to understand. Mind games are also useful in achieving influence while at the same time maintaining the victim’s illusion of autonomy.
However, influencing the victim is not the only motivation behind mind games; it’s even far from it. A lot of manipulators play mind games for the sole purpose of entertainment and for no particular reason whatsoever. They derive pleasure and enjoy plotting a way to impact the psychology of a victim and watch them succumb to their intentions. Such kind of manipulation is identical to a type of sociopathic detachment. This type of manipulator fails to recognize or entirely ignore the fact that the victim is equally human with the feelings and thoughts too. Instead, they simply see the victim as just an existing system meant to be manipulated for fun. This is a particularly very dangerous form of a mind game because some of the manipulators even drive their victims to attempt suicide and sometimes even succeed simply for the fun of it.
Other times, dark psychological mind games may not necessarily represent any kind of conscious intent by the manipulator but rather as a form of learned behavior. This occurs when the manipulator has been exposed to the same throughout their life and do not know any other way to cope. This may appear innocent, but it is not. Simply because someone automatically does evil doesn’t exonerate them of the moral responsibility of doing so. In other ways, this kind of mind game where the manipulator does it without having to think about it is the most dangerous. In this case, the manipulator usually doesn’t know any other option, and as a result, they don’t have a prospect of reforming and becoming balanced human beings.
What are covert mind games in dark psychology and how are they used through emotional manipulation
Just like the overall concept of mind games, t
he particular games anyone plays usually have both dark and innocent variants. The following mind game tactics will help you know which are examples of dark psychology, as well as which parts of your day to day life is absolutely necessary to understand this specific aspect of dark psychology.
Ultimatums
Ultimatum takes place when a person presents another person/people with a severe choice. This generally is a kind of demand that goes like “Do this…or this will happen.” An example is “Quit smoking…or I will see other people.” Ultimatums are some sort of “request” that is actually in the form of a “demand.” While ultimatums are a major form of dark psychological mind game, it does not necessarily mean that every ultimatum given is a mind game.
There are three factors that determine whether an ultimatum can be considered as “dark psychology.”
The type of person issuing the ultimatum
The person giving the ultimatum is very crucial in determining whether or not the ultimatum is a manifestation of dark psychology. In the case where the ultimatum is genuine and non-dark, the one issuing it will often have a similarly genuine and valid care about the person they are trying to help. Some of the possible genuine persons include close relatives, siblings, or spouse. However, this does not automatically mean that anyone falling into these categories can’t issue ultimatums that aren’t free of dark psychology.