The Emotional Wound Thesaurus

by Becca Puglisi

  If you need help in this area, One Stop for Writers offers a comprehensive structure mapping tool that can help you plan your story and character’s arc. Other options can be found on the Recommended Reading page at the end of this book.

  FINAL WORDS FROM THE AUTHORS

  Emotional trauma comes in endless variations. While we’ve tried to create a strong range of possible wounds to kick-start the brainstorming process, these entries are by no means comprehensive. We urge you to really explore your character’s past to better understand the unique factors that helped mold him into who he is at the start of your story. Don’t be afraid to go off the map and customize the wounds outlined here.

  If you have a wound in mind but are unable to find the exact scenario you need, we suggest reading through the other entries in the same category, as these will all share a common theme and may spark ideas on how you could adapt an existing entry to fit a particular character’s situation. For authenticity, we also recommend doing further research on the wound you’ve chosen and tailor it according to the options in the Factors That Will Impact the Wound section.

  You will notice as you peruse entries that the bulk of the listed behaviors are negative. This is by design, as backstory wounds are disruptive and will create aftershocks leading to further harm until good coping strategies are adopted. For specific information on the healing part of your character’s process, please see the section on Positive Coping Practices. You can choose the ones that feel right for your character’s situation and use them to awaken their desire to heal, lead them to accept what can’t be changed, and help them achieve internal growth and greater self-worth.

  Another thing to keep in mind when reading through the entries is that you will notice some conflicting behaviors. For example, a character who loses a limb may isolate herself by withdrawing from those around her, or she may do the opposite and become completely dependent on others. Because each character is unique, with her own traits and histories, she will respond differently to her trauma than someone else may. To this end, we have tried to cover a large range of reactions. When sourcing these entries for ideas, always ask yourself if the suggestion you’d like to use fits the character. This will ensure that her actions in the story line up with her personality and will seem credible to readers.

  When unearthing the lie your character believes to be true, use the examples in the entries as a starting point, since these are purposely general in nature. Every wounding event is distinct, and the peripheral people involved, along with the character’s specific history with them, will influence the exact lie that emerges. For instance, the death of a sibling who was always cared for and protected by the character will generate a different lie than if the relationship was a distant one. Characters are complex, layered beings, and their wounding events and the embedded lies should fit them like custom-tailored clothing.

  It is our hope that this book will help you discover and flesh out the possible wounds for many future characters. Events like these are incredibly formative. Inspecting them carefully and considering them from many different angles should enable you to choose ones that fit perfectly, resulting in layered and well-rounded characters your readers will respond to.

  THE EMOTIONAL WOUND THESAURUS

  CRIME AND VICTIMIZATION

  A CARJACKING

  EXAMPLES:

  Being forced out of one’s car and it being stolen and driven away

  Being forced to drive one’s car to an isolated location under threat of violence by the carjacker

  BASIC NEEDS OFTEN COMPROMISED BY THIS WOUND: Safety and security, esteem and recognition

  FALSE BELIEFS THAT COULD BE EMBRACED

  I was targeted because I was weak.

  I froze in the moment; I can’t be depended upon in an emergency.

  I can’t be truly safe.

  I can’t keep my family safe.

  Acquiring material items is pointless since they’ll only be taken from me.

  Trying to look for the good in this world is naïve.

  The police are impotent and can’t protect anyone.

  The only way to combat violence is with violence.

  THE CHARACTER MAY FEAR…

  Being victimized again in another way

  Having another prized possession forcibly taken away

  Owning nice things, since they will make the character a target

  A random act of violence ending badly for them or a loved one

  The kind of person who carried out the carjacking

  Being attacked at home (due to personal information in the vehicle that a carjacker could find)

  POSSIBLE RESPONSES AND RESULTS

  Purposely buying things that aren’t quite as nice in the hopes one won’t be targeted for them

  Becoming tighter with money to recoup the loss

  Hounding the police to make sure the perpetrator is caught

  Avoiding the area where the carjacking occurred

  Patrolling the area of the attack, looking to confront the carjacker and reclaim one’s power

  Becoming confrontational with strangers perceived to be a threat

  Being paranoid

  Embracing vigilantism due to the belief that the police are unable to adequately protect the public

  Buying pepper spray or a weapon and keeping it in one’s new car

  Increasing security for one’s car and home

  Growing pessimistic; viewing the world through a negative filter

  Taking safer routes, even if it means adding time to one’s commute

  Turning down opportunities that would require one to drive alone to get somewhere

  Not allowing teenaged children to drive alone

  Insisting that family members call when they get to where they’re going

  Being unable to sleep or relax until all family members are home

  Becoming hyperalert when driving

  Heightened anxiety if someone approaches one’s vehicle on foot

  Refusing to be a Good Samaritan (not stopping to help if someone’s car has broken down, etc.)

  Mistrusting people in general

  Developing a panic disorder

  Being possessive with one’s things; not being willing to “hand things over” again

  Developing control issues

  Staying home rather than going out

  Thinking and acting prejudicially against people similar to the carjacker

  Seeking reforms at the municipal level in an effort to make the streets safer

  Becoming less materialistic; needing less stuff

  Seeing this near miss as an opportunity for a do-over in life

  Expressing love and showing affection more freely with loved ones

  Reordering one’s priorities (putting family first, spending less time at work, not worrying so much about money, etc.)

  PERSONALITY TRAITS THAT MAY FORM

  Attributes: Affectionate, alert, analytical, appreciative, bold, centered, diplomatic, focused, generous, independent, introverted, just, meticulous, observant, organized, persistent, protective, responsible, simple

  Flaws: Addictive, apathetic, confrontational, controlling, cowardly, cynical, defensive, evasive, fanatical, hostile, irrational, judgmental, macho, morbid, nervous, paranoid, pushy, resentful, rowdy, vindictive

  TRIGGERS THAT MIGHT AGGRAVATE THIS WOUND

  Someone approaching one’s car at a stoplight or in a parking lot

  Seeing a car on the road exactly like the one that was stolen

  A child or spouse being out later than they’re supposed to be

  Being victimized in a smaller way, like a friend being manipulative or a boss using a guilt trip

  Being followed for a period of time by another car, turn for turn

  Someone tapping a knuckle against the car window

  Hearing the song that was playing on the radio at the time of the attack

  Driving in similar conditions (late at night, in the same area of town, thro
ugh a traffic tunnel, etc.)

  OPPORTUNITIES TO FACE OR OVERCOME THIS WOUND

  A chance to do something one really wants, but it means driving in the same area where the carjacking occurred

  Noticing that one’s lifestyle of fear and paranoia is affecting one’s children

  Being too afraid to drive and realizing it is impacting one’s happiness through its limitations (such as not being able to travel with family, go on road trips, or take a weekend getaway)

  Being forced to interact with someone similar to the carjacker and becoming aware of prejudice that has developed since the event

  RETURN TO THE TABLE OF CONTENTS

  A HOME INVASION

  EXAMPLES: Having one’s living space broken into while one is there, either alone or with family, and then being forced through the ordeal of being robbed, victimized, assaulted (physically, mentally or sexually), and possibly even kidnapped.

  BASIC NEEDS OFTEN COMPROMISED BY THIS WOUND: Physiological needs, safety and security, love and belonging, esteem and recognition, self-actualization

  FALSE BELIEFS THAT COULD BE EMBRACED

  Strangers should be feared.

  Anyone I don’t know is a potential threat.

  I wasn’t safe in my own home, so I’m not safe anywhere.

  Sympathy (empathy, kindness, etc.) is a sign of weakness.

  I can’t keep my loved ones safe.

  I am to blame for what happened (for not having proper home security, not locking the door, not being strong enough, etc.).

  The police are inept and can’t protect me.

  The world is full of evil people.

  Control is only an illusion.

  THE CHARACTER MAY FEAR…

  Trusting the wrong person

  Being alone and vulnerable

  Having their control taken away

  Another break-in

  Criminals and addicts, or people similar to the perpetrators in some way (race, appearance, etc.)

  Intimacy and sex (if they were sexually assaulted)

  Particular elements associated with the ordeal (e.g., enclosed spaces, if they were hiding in a closet)

  POSSIBLE RESPONSES AND RESULTS

  Being obsessive about home safety (checking locks repeatedly, installing floodlights, setting up a security system, etc.)

  Heightened alertness (noticing noises one would have dismissed in the past, tracking movements all the time, marking the exits, etc.)

  Becoming withdrawn or secretive

  Struggling when one is alone, even suffering panic attacks and paranoia

  Insomnia or difficulty sleeping; experiencing vivid nightmares

  Waking with a racing heartbeat

  Feeling uncomfortable around certain items used in the attack (kitchen tools, leather gloves, duct tape, etc.)

  Creating a safe room within one’s home fortified with locks and home protection

  Difficulty concentrating

  Being unresponsive in conversations

  Jumping at loud noises

  Anxiety flaring up when one must open the door, even when company is expected

  Feeling followed or watched

  Feeling unsafe in one’s home but being too fearful to leave it

  Reliving what happened over and over

  Having a difficult time enjoying the little things (visits with friends, smiling, laughing, etc.)

  Needing to know where one’s children are at all times

  Needing to have control over everything (possibly damaging relationships in the process)

  Buying a weapon for home protection or joining a self-defense class

  Being grateful for the things and people that survived

  Being less concerned with material things

  Seeking therapy

  PERSONALITY TRAITS THAT MAY FORM

  Attributes: Alert, analytical, cautious, independent, introverted, mature, meticulous, observant, perceptive, private, protective, responsible, sentimental, wise

  Flaws: Compulsive, defensive, humorless, inflexible, insecure, irrational, materialistic, nervous, obsessive, paranoid, pessimistic, prejudiced, suspicious, timid, uncommunicative, withdrawn

  TRIGGERS THAT MIGHT AGGRAVATE THIS WOUND

  Sensory stimuli associated with the event, like the smell of blood or pain of a carpet burn

  Hearing about a break-in within one’s neighborhood

  Being left home alone

  The doorbell chiming when one was not expecting visitors

  A stranger asking for help (if this ruse was used by the perpetrator to get inside the house)

  An event that leaves one feeling exposed (a power outage, losing one’s cell phone and having no way to call the police, etc.)

  Leaving one’s teenager home alone and her not answering the phone when one calls

  OPPORTUNITIES TO FACE OR OVERCOME THIS WOUND

  Saving an important heirloom from being stolen only to lose it in some way later

  Obsessing over keeping one’s home safe only for a family member to be attacked elsewhere

  Experiencing marital friction due to one’s inability to move past the event

  Becoming so over-protective as a parent that one’s child rebels and ends up in danger

  Experiencing a disaster (a flood, a house fire, etc.) and being welcomed into a stranger’s home and shown kindness

  RETURN TO THE TABLE OF CONTENTS

  A PHYSICAL ASSAULT

  EXAMPLES

  Getting beaten up by unknown assailants (e.g., jumped by a gang, a hate group, or peers at school)

  Being hit or physically harmed by a family member

  Being mugged

  Being attacked by a single person (in a bar fight, for looking at someone’s girlfriend, etc.)

  Interceding to protect another and becoming targeted

  BASIC NEEDS OFTEN COMPROMISED BY THIS WOUND: Safety and security, esteem and recognition, self-actualization

  FALSE BELIEFS THAT COULD BE EMBRACED

  I’m weak—an easy target.

  Only constant vigilance will keep me safe.

  Violence must be met with violence.

  I can’t trust people of that gender (or race, ethnicity, etc.).

  The authorities aren’t able to protect anyone.

  Getting involved is never worth the pain. People can solve their own problems.

  I can’t be responsible for the welfare of others because I’ll only let them down.

  THE CHARACTER MAY FEAR…

  Becoming a victim again

  Victimization becoming part of their identity, a role they can’t escape

  Never being able to reclaim their power

  Vulnerability

  That something similar will befall their loved ones

  Being attacked and/or killed

  That others will think poorly of them because of the beating

  POSSIBLE RESPONSES AND RESULTS

  Not venturing out after dark

  Never going anywhere alone

  Avoiding the place where the assault occurred

  Frequent panic or anxiety attacks

  Becoming overprotective with loved ones

  Working out excessively in an effort to become stronger

  Hiding whatever it was that made one a target (one’s beliefs, religion, ethnicity, orientation, etc.)

  Becoming more cautious with one’s words to avoid provoking others

  Always being on alert

  Suspecting all strangers of ill will

  Needing to win in every situation so one won’t be considered weak

  Avoiding responsibility out of a fear of failure or being proven unworthy of trust

  Turning a blind eye to injustice (if getting involved in someone else’s fight caused the assault)

  Becoming prejudiced against one’s attacker

  Emotional volatility; being prone to overreactions

  Resentment toward the police (if one blames them in part for the attack)

  Drinking or usin
g drugs

  Taking self-defense classes

  Finding a confidante to vent to and help one gain perspective

  Being grateful that the assault didn’t result in even greater harm

  Viewing violence in a new light and trying to resolve differences another way

  Appreciating one’s blessings more; feeling like one was given a second chance

  Not sweating the small stuff

  Avoiding behaviors that could be intimidating so others won’t experience the same fear one endured

  Becoming a pacifist

  PERSONALITY TRAITS THAT MAY FORM

  Attributes: Alert, appreciative, bold, cautious, courteous, diplomatic, disciplined, observant, private, proactive

  Flaws: Abrasive, addictive, callous, confrontational, hostile, inhibited, irrational, martyr, needy, nervous, paranoid, reckless, suspicious, temperamental, uncommunicative, violent, volatile, weak-willed, withdrawn

  TRIGGERS THAT MIGHT AGGRAVATE THIS WOUND

  Seeing someone physically similar to one’s attacker

  Running into one’s attacker

  Being in an area where a fight breaks out

  Having to go to the hospital (for tests, to visit a sick friend, etc.)

  Sensory stimuli that cause a flashback (a shoe kicking loose gravel, the smell of wet pavement, etc.)

  News reports of muggings and assaults

  A loved one being roughed up on a smaller scale (e.g., being shoved or tripped at school)

  Being awakened in the night by a strange noise

  Being in a place similar to where the attack happened

  OPPORTUNITIES TO FACE OR OVERCOME THIS WOUND

  A romantic relationship that turns abusive

  Overreacting and embarrassing oneself in response to a perceived attack that turns out to be nothing