Lost in You (Flirting with Forever Book 1)

by Amanda Bailey

  Outside, we pull on knit hats and gloves. The temperature hovers right around freezing, warmer than it’s been in days. I take her hand in mine, and we follow a path that runs around the back of the house and down toward a wooded area. We walk in silence for a while until we hear a bubbling stream up ahead of us.

  “It’s so gorgeous out here, even in the middle of winter.” Madison smiles happily and takes a deep breath of the crisp air as she looks around.

  “Then I guess it’s a good thing I brought you here. You fit right in.” She doesn’t know I mean it, but I really do. She’s the epitome of natural beauty. This girl—so gorgeous, I could cry.

  She swats at my shoulder with her gloved hand, shaking her head like I’m crazy.

  Really, she’s the crazy one if she can’t see what I see. “Want to sit down there for a few minutes?”

  “Sure.” With our gloved hands still interlaced, we sit on the wooden bench nestled near the stream. “Oh! It’s cold.” She giggles, scrunching her nose up in this adorable way she has. “Look how the ice is forming at the edge of the stream. How long do you suppose before the stream freezes over?”

  “I, uh, I’m not really sure.” I let go of her hand and put an arm around her, pulling her closer to my heat. I’d have done it anyway, just to be closer to her, but I’ve also caught sight of someone approaching. Her brother. I lean my head in, nose drifting along her jawline until it reaches just behind her ear. My heart skips a couple of beats when she melts into me. Her reaction to my touch is so swift and so real, I feel terrible when I whisper near her ear, “It’s game time.”

  Her body stiffens. My lips graze her ear, “It’s your brother. You’re fine. Just pretend. How would you act, cozied up next to your boyfriend to stay warm?”

  She angles her body toward mine, slipping her arms around my torso. “Mm, I’m cold.” She nuzzles her face against my neck at the same time she throws her legs over mine so she’s practically sitting in my lap. I wrap my arms around her, ready for a test of our fake relationship.

  From behind us, there’s an obvious clearing of a throat. We both cautiously lift our heads and look up at the person intruding on our “date.”

  “Oh hey, James.” Madison smiles at him, and then shivers. “It’s cold out here, but we couldn’t resist this scenery. Isn’t it so beautiful?”

  “Yeah. It’s nice. I tried to get Emily to come out with me, but she fussed about how cold it is.”

  I chuckle. “That’s kind of why I didn’t tell Madison where we were going until it was done.”

  James cocks his head to the side and gives me a quick nod, pointing directly at me. “Smart man.” He coughs then directs his stare at Madison. “Mom and Dad were hoping to see you guys at breakfast, you know.”

  James’s eyes coolly assess her. Shit, shit, shit. Does he know something is up? I guess we just have to really lay it on thick. I take a deep breath, hoping Madison doesn’t mind. I pull her impossibly closer to me, take her hand and place it on my chest, holding it there.

  Madison gives her brother a cheeky grin and quips, “Yeah, we ended up ordering room service. We had a late night.”

  A line creases the middle of his forehead. “I thought you were going back to your room to watch TV.”

  I try to hold it back, the laugh deep in my belly, but it’s working its way up, vibrating in my chest. I know Madison feels it where her hand rests on me. Suddenly, she kisses my cheek, the roughness of my scruff probably scratchy against her lips. I have a fleeting, curious thought as to whether she likes it.

  She glances up at her brother. “We were sort of watching, yeah.” She presses her lips together, then smiles big at him, trying not to laugh.

  He holds up his hands toward Madi. “Whoa, okay. Nope. No, ma’am. No overshares, please.” He jerks his thumb over his shoulder toward the building. “I’m going to see if I can convince Emily to go for a drive.”

  “Okay, we’ll see you at the church later, then.” She waves as James turns to go.

  I lift a hand, and give him an apologetic smile for his sister’s antics. “See you, man.”

  James glances back. “Yeah. Definitely. I’d like a chance to talk with you for a few minutes at some point.” He chuckles. “If you can detach yourself from my sister the octopus, that is.”

  Madison sputters, “Hey, now. Be nice.” She shakes her head at him and snuggles in even closer to me.

  Hell, yes. I just wish we didn’t have these big damn coats on.

  “Hey, I call ’em like I see ’em. You’re the one with the arms and legs everywhere.” He backs away, chuckling to himself before he spins on his heel and walks away. “Later, lovebirds.”

  I tuck my head in near her ear again, and touch my lips to the spot just under her earlobe. An achy river of pleasure races through me, just as she says, “Is he still looking?”

  Oh, right. She thinks I’m still acting.

  Chapter 14

  Shawn

  Back in the hotel room later that afternoon, we take our time getting ready for the wedding. I’d ducked into the bathroom first to get ready so Madison could take her time and not have to worry about me.

  She’s been in there for quite some time. I glance at the time on my phone and chuckle to myself. Yep, a long, long time. I hope she’s not nervous and, unbeknownst to me, having some sort of mini-breakdown in there.

  While I wait, I pluck out a few simple notes on my guitar, something I’ve had stuck in my head. Eventually, I’ll put words to it, but for now, I just lose myself in the melody, humming along with the rhythmic strumming. This has always been my release, the best way I know of to clear the clutter from my mind and feed my soul. Fingers flying now, I can feel the song in every part of me—I just don’t know what it’s saying. It’ll come to me. For now, I just play.

  I’m so immersed in what I’m doing that I hadn’t heard Madison emerge from the bathroom. When I realize she’s there, I falter for just a beat. She sways to the music I’m creating, eyes shut, a blissful look on her face. Gorgeous. The girl is fucking gorgeous, and it takes everything in me to keep playing instead of throwing my guitar aside and hauling her into my arms.

  Okay, so maybe I’d gently set my guitar aside instead, but either way, the thought is there—I want her in my arms. For the next several hours, I’ll have that chance as the fake boyfriend. I lower my head as I shake it in dismay as I continue to play. She’ll be with me for sure but I’ll have to show her, somehow, that this isn’t an act. And that, right there, is the crux of the problem. What started as pretend now feels very, very real.

  She’s an absolute vision in a long, floor-sweeping dark-purple dress. Her hair floats around her shoulders, curls rioting everywhere. There’s some glittery stuff on her eyelids that’s subtle but really pretty, and those bow-shaped lips of hers are slicked with something glossy that has my head spinning. I pause, my hand covering the strings, bringing the music to an end. My throat is thick, and I work hard to swallow past everything her presence has me feeling.

  Her eyes flick open and pin on me. A soft smile tips the corners of her lips. “Why’d you stop? That was beautiful.”

  “I got distracted.” My teeth clamp down on my lip, and my gaze follows a path from her head to her toes and back.

  “This old thing?” She grasps the material at the sides of the dress and does a cute little curtsy, nerves and excitement billowing from her. I can feel the ripples of it from here.

  Suddenly, I have to be closer to her. I haul my guitar strap over my head and rise from the bed all in one swift motion. I hesitate for a second before I set the guitar in the corner and spin on my heel to find she hasn’t budged an inch. Slowly, I take measured steps over to her, one hand going to my tie, my fingers working at the knot there to stop myself from reaching out to touch her. “That color really suits you, you know?”

  “Does it?”

  “Mm-hmm. Purple and green. It complements your eyes. They’re flashing like the brightest jewels.”


  “Shawn …” Her gaze casts down, eyelashes fluttering against the tops of her cheeks. Color rises swiftly on them, a rosy fire.

  I point at the antique mirror above the dresser. “What? I tell the truth. Have a look for yourself.” She stands there, her eyes still silently questioning me. I gently guide her over there so she can look at her reflection—to see what I see.

  “Oh, um … my dress. I came out to get some help.” She reaches behind her in an attempt to gather the two sides of the material where it’s gaped open in the back, a million little buttons needing attention.

  I feel like I’ve been hit square in the chest. My heart stops for a full count of three while my eyes focus on her bare back—the delicate curve of her spine and what I know would be the softest skin if I were to reach out and stroke my fingers over it. When my heart kicks back into gear, it takes off as if it’s beating just for her—pounding, thumping, thrumming—and I press my hand over it, willing it to calm.

  Temptation reaches out and grabs me around the throat, and I struggle not to give in right then and there. Impatient need staggers me, adding to my predicament when my cock stirs.

  “Shawn?”

  I glance up, our gazes meeting and locking in the reflection of the mirror. My chest rises as I inhale deeply, trying to steady myself and regain control. “Yeah.” I press my lips together. “I can help you with this.”

  My fingers fumble at first but then become sure as they work the first few buttons. Fuck me, this is like a slow seduction in reverse. I’d like to be undoing these evil things, revealing more and more of her to me. Every time I look up into the mirror and see the image of the two of us looking back at me, a spark ignites in my chest and scatters through my body. The idea that she and I are about to play at this relationship for several hours sends even more blood rushing to parts of my body that have no business getting involved.

  “How’s it going back there?” Her voice is whispery soft as she glances at me over her shoulder, her eyes cast down.

  “I’ve about got it. Just another few to go. Sorry, these are really, really tiny.”

  “And you have some big hands.”

  I cough, practically strangling on her quiet insinuation. “Mm, yeah. I do.” I wait another beat or two before murmuring, “So, remind me again how I should be with you in front of everyone.” My voice is husky and low. “I mean, I know we said intimate, but I don’t want anything I do to surprise you.”

  Her eyes are a raging green sea of uncertainty. “Can you be more specific? What kinds of things are you thinking about?”

  “Well, I know I’m okay to hold your hand. So, other things like, should I rest my hand on the small of your back?”

  “I … um …”

  I rush on. “You see, you’re a bit flustered, off balance, and that’s exactly what I want to avoid if I were to do any of these things in front of other people.” I pause, staring into her eyes. “It should feel natural, whatever we do, and I don’t want to overstep and make you uncomfortable and have it show up on your face. It would ruin the illusion we are trying to create.”

  She nods. “I understand. Tell me what else you’re thinking of, and I’ll stop you if I think it’s a bad idea. Is that okay?”

  I wet my lower lip, and her gaze follows my every movement in the mirror.

  “Okay. What if I do something like this?” I press a soft kiss to her temple, my lips lingering. I whisper a confession. “I get caught up in the romance of weddings sometimes.”

  Being this near to her is the worst torture. “If I’m standing behind you, like I am now, can I rest my hands on your hips? Like this?” My palms smooth over the curve of her hips before they settle there. “And should I kiss your neck? Like this?” My lips find the heated, raspberry-scented skin just at the juncture of her neck and shoulder, testing her. I glance up at her reflection from under my lashes to discover her head has dropped back a bit, angled to the side to give me better access. And her breathing, it’s erratic at best, her chest rising and falling in starts and spurts.

  I turn her to face me, gathering her in my arms. “And, when we dance, should I hold you close like this? Will you rest your head on my chest?”

  The nod of agreement is barely perceptible, but it’s there, so I continue. I swallow carefully, and tip her head up to me. My lips find the column of her neck, breathing her in, before I murmur in her ear, “Should I feed you cake from my fork like I fed you dessert last night?”

  She moans so softly I almost don’t hear it. That one tiny sound, so small, tells me everything. It sends a white-hot strike straight down my spine, tightening my balls and hardening my dick.

  Never one to make any assumptions, I breathe a final question right next to the shell of her ear, “Should I whisk you away from the reception early? Make people think we’re so hot for each other we can’t keep our hands to ourselves?” My nose nudges along her jaw, my breath feathering over her neck. “Is this how you want me to be with you tonight?”

  Chapter 15

  Madison

  I want to shout, “Yes! Yes, I’ll do anything with you. Put your hands on me, kiss me, love me, make me yours.”

  A shallow breath shudders from between my lips as I look up at him. I’m straight up putty in his hands, soft and pliable, ready to be molded into whatever he wants me to be. My whole body is flying at his touch, my heart thunders, and I’m so, so lost in the ocean of his blue eyes. He stares right back into mine, as if he’s getting a little lost, too. Those big hands cup my hips; gentle fingers press into my skin through the fabric of my dress. I have half a mind to just say forget the wedding and stay right here with him all night.

  “Yes. Yes, to everything you just said and did.” Because I want to feel all of that again.

  But, that’s not why we’re here, and I’m reminded of that as soon as he steps away from me, leaving me feeling cold and unsure. He runs his hand over his clean-shaven cheek, eyeing me carefully. “Okay, then. Ready to partake in the biggest game of make believe you’ve ever played?”

  I breathe carefully. Right. This is all a game to him. An easy favor between friends—I’m not someone he’d choose to be with otherwise. It’s rather unnerving how he could touch me like he just did and not mean it—he made me believe it just now. For a few moments, reality had been suspended, and I’d allowed myself to feel what it would be like to be his.

  Embarrassment over nearly getting swept away in our little fantasy world brings bright pink color to my cheeks. Standing there trying not to betray my thoughts, I allow my gaze to roam over him. I am such a sucker for a man in a suit and tie, and oh my, Shawn wears his so well. I catch the corner of my lower lip between my teeth. Staring. Aching. Wanting. My response to this man is off any chart I’ve ever encountered. This could be a very good thing for our purposes today—but possibly very bad for my heart.

  Ready or not, here we go.

  My palms sweat as we enter the church, but it doesn’t have as much to do with the eyes on us as it has to do with being here with Shawn. My mind is still stuck on the way he’d whispered those delicious questions in my ear, the way he’d touched me.

  I stumble going up the last stair into the church. Shawn’s muscled arm loops around my waist, catching me before I fall. He steadies me with a hand on either side of my waist.

  “Thank you.”

  “No problem.” He leans in close. “Are you nervous?”

  “A little … and just generally awkward in heels.”

  He chuckles. “You don’t seem awkward in them to me at all. You look fantastic.”

  “Thanks, boyfriend.” I paint a cheeky grin on my face and lift onto my toes to press a quick kiss to his cheek, only to have his cologne infiltrate my senses. I’m dizzy from the scent of him curling through my head.

  He murmurs quietly, his lips near my temple, “I wasn’t saying that for any reason other than it’s the absolute truth. You’re stunning.”

  I peek up at him, trying to brush off the e
ffect he has on me. “Thank you.” We walk down the aisle behind an usher and slide into the pew he gestures at to await the ceremony.

  Shawn scoots in next to me as close as he can and drapes an arm around me. The heavy thudding of my heart from sitting this close to him quickly changes to something else entirely when I notice people looking in our direction. Some of my relatives and old friends have spotted our entrance. I’d usually be a basket case by now, but I find I’m drawing confidence from Shawn’s presence. He’s completely natural, comfortable playing the part he’s been assigned. In fact, he’s so good at it, I’m having trouble reconciling the man who is so kind and so good with me with the cheater I know him to be.

  Maybe, just maybe we can pull this off. If only everyone would just stop looking over here. I make eye contact with my mom and dad, who are being seated two pews in front of us. Shawn and I both give them a little wave. I turn to look at Shawn, surprised he’d bother, and find that he’s turned my way at the exact same time. He leans in and nuzzles his nose with mine, a slow grin creeping over his face. “You’ve got this,” he murmurs, his words just for me. I glance back at my parents and stifle a giggle at both of their reactions—Mom with a few fingers pressed to her lips, hiding a smile, and Dad with his mouth hanging open and eyes practically bugging out.

  I mumble. “Jeez. I guess I’m really surprising them right now.”

  “Don’t worry about it. Let them think what they want,” Shawn rasps, his face in my hair, arm drawing me even closer to him, loaning me his strength.

  But if I let them think what they want, what do I do when this weekend is over, and I go back to being just another single lady? What will everyone think when he disappears? Ugh. Why hadn’t I considered this little piece of the puzzle before? Crap.

  I try to put it out of my head. This weekend was only ever supposed to be that. Just one weekend. One fake-out. A means to an end. A way for me to hide my lonely existence from everyone who thinks my single status is somehow their business. I squeeze my eyes shut and try to breathe normally.