Lost in You (Flirting with Forever Book 1)

by Amanda Bailey

  Soft music begins to play, distracting me, and we watch as the wedding processional begins. Chuck and his groomsmen have appeared at the front of the church, and one by one, each bridesmaid glides down the aisle in the most gorgeous rose-colored dresses I’ve ever seen. The cutest little flower girl and ring bearer skip their way down the aisle, and their antics are so sweet, I hope for the bride’s sake someone is getting them on video so she can watch later.

  Shawn’s attention seems to be split. He has one eye on everyone going down the aisle and the other on me. I hope it’s not showing on my face, how all of this is making me feel, because I’m so in my head my mind is wandering to all sorts of places it has no right to go.

  We rise at the cue from the music change, and I wistfully watch as Chuck’s beautiful bride walks past us down the aisle on her father’s arm.

  I seriously have a love/hate relationship with weddings. I love to see people happy, but hate that it feels like it will never be me. My breath hitches and tears form in my eyes, blurring my vision. Stupid Chase. I’d thought it was going to be him. I was such an idiot to think he’d want me forever. If he cheated on me once, though, he’d do it again, so there’s no way I was going to stick around for that. In fact, I’m proud that I didn’t because there was a part of me that wanted to stay in the relationship just to have someone to call my own.

  Somehow sensing my shift in mood, Shawn gathers me close.

  Now, Shawn? Everything about him that I’ve learned this weekend confuses me. It seems like he’s not who I thought he was. Maybe it’s naive of me to think so. Maybe I just want it to be true because of the way I feel when I’m with him. The way his protective arm winds around me, the way his hand on my waist sends little sparks through my whole body, it makes my heart wish for things it probably shouldn’t.

  I lean into Shawn as the new husband and wife rush up the aisle, hand in hand, matching grins on their faces. That. That’s what I want. Right there.

  Our turn to leave the church comes quickly, and Shawn presses a sweet kiss to my temple, just like he’d mentioned he would. Softly, he says, “Come on, let’s go show everyone what a good fake boyfriend you have.”

  Right. Let’s keep hammering that reminder into my head since I seem to keep forgetting. This is all fake. This isn’t real. Oh my God, what a royally awful mess I’ve made for myself.

  I know now—I have real feelings for my fake boyfriend.

  Crap.

  Back in the car, I turn my phone back on to find there are a ton of messages in the group text from this morning.

  Hadleigh: Tell us more about last night with lover boy.

  Piper: Had, don’t do that to her. It’s fake, remember?

  Hadleigh: Madi, girl, you know I’m joking, right?

  Zoey: I just hope she’s enjoying herself and not getting too stressed out over it.

  Quinn: Hmm. Do you know our friend?

  Zoey: Well, I do, but I just hope she’s having fun with it.

  Sophia: We may not have heard from Madi since this morning, but Heath heard from Shawn.

  That piques my interest. I bite my lip and steal a look across the truck’s cab at him. Should I ask? Ah, I can’t. At least, I can’t ask him.

  Me: You guys have heard from Shawn?

  Sophia: There she is! And yes. He texted Heath right before you went to the wedding. Said you looked gorgeous.

  Sophia: He also mentioned you all had just “chilled” in the room last night.

  Quinn: Is that what they are calling it these days?

  Hadleigh: Quinn! That’s my line.

  I suppress a smile. I love that we can all talk like this. It’s been a long time since I had girlfriends. There were a few other people I’d hang out with, but no one I counted on nearly as much as I’ve come to rely on these women. We’re so much more than coworkers now that the job is almost an afterthought.

  Shawn side-eyes me with a careful smile. “Chatting with someone?”

  “Yeah, sorry. Just the girls.”

  He laughs. “‘The girls’? No wonder you look like you’re about to burst out laughing any second now.”

  “What can I say? They’re pretty funny.”

  “It’s nice you’ve got that tribe thing going on. I remember it took you and Dana a bit to warm up to each other, but once you did, it was good for both of you.” He winces.

  “Things kind of got fucked up with that whole situation, though, huh?”

  “Yeah,” I murmur. “Pretty messed up.” I shrug, trying to act like it doesn’t matter to me that his cheating resulted in the loss of my new friend. After I’d told her what he’d done, that was pretty much the nail in the coffin. I think she felt it was too difficult to continue on with our friendship after that. “It’s okay. I’ve found my people.”

  I’m surprised he doesn’t have anything more to say about Dana. My fingers grip my phone tightly, not wanting to dwell on it at the moment, but I know I should speak to him about why he cheated on her at some point. Especially if I want to know if he really has changed and become a better person—if he could be someone I can trust. I’ve already told him I have issues with that, so …

  Me: We really did just hang out. In fact, I fell asleep while we were watching TV.

  Zoey: I guess that means you are at least comfortable with him?

  Me: Yes, we’re fine with each other. He’s been very convincing so far as my boyfriend. We’re on our way back to the B&B for the reception now, actually.

  Piper: Oh, fun. Are you going to dance with him? I’m so curious how you all strategized all of this.

  Sophia: Of course she is. It’s got to look real.

  Me: Right. Real.

  Sophia: Madi, you okay?

  I can’t leave them hanging. With a sigh, my thumbs fly over the keyboard of my phone, tapping out a reply.

  Me: Yeah. I’m just really confused about a few things still. Shawn is different than I thought he’d be, and it doesn’t make much sense.

  Me: It’s nothing. Reception time. Gotta go.

  With a huff, I power down my phone and place it back in my clutch. Shawn parks the truck, gets out, and jogs around to my side to assist me, my dress a tangle of flowing fabric around my legs.

  “Ready for this, beautiful?” His grin makes everything feel right again, so I do what I can to shove all thoughts of cheating boyfriends aside.

  There’s one great thing about boyfriends of the fake variety—there’s no relationship for them to cheat on, so there’s no chance at getting hurt. That’s what I keep telling myself, anyway.

  Chapter 16

  Shawn

  “Are you ready to get back down to the reception?” One glance at Madison and I know her head isn’t in a good place right now. Now that we’ve dropped off our coats, there’s really no reason to stay up here when we are due back downstairs for the rest of the wedding festivities.

  She meets my eyes, takes a deep breath and stands with a nod.

  “Are you okay? Hungry, maybe?”

  A hint of a smile crosses her face. “I guess they’ll be feeding us, right?”

  “Yep. And there will be flowers and music and dancing.”

  “And cake.”

  “And cake, for sure. Come on.” I hold my hands out to her and when she takes them, I draw her in, hugging her body to mine. The tremors that run through her just prove that I was correct in my thinking. She’s nervous as hell.

  Time to turn on my charm, then, and hopefully make her forget about everything for a little bit.

  As for my “girlfriend,” I’m more than proud to be escorting Madison. I wouldn’t want to be with anyone else. I’d go anywhere with her, fake or not. I place my hand on the small of her back as we walk side by side down the stairs to the main foyer, where we are ushered toward the main dining area for the reception.

  She looks up at me as we enter the big room, a slight panic in her eyes. My fingers slide over, grasping her hip and giving it a squeeze. “You’re fine.” I reach w
ith my free hand and cup her cheek in my palm. “Let’s find out where they have us sitting.”

  The tables we maneuver ourselves through are set with fancy china and sweetly-scented floral arrangements. Candles flicker on each, giving the entire room a soft, romantic feel. I see Madison’s brother waving at us, lift a hand to him, and nod my head.

  “I’m pretty sure we’re seated with your parents and brother. What’s his girlfriend’s name again?”

  Her voice so low I almost don’t hear it, she murmurs, “Emily.”

  “Right. Emily.”

  She blows out a sharp breath and a nervous laugh comes out with it. “I’m really fucking nervous.”

  I chuckle, not remembering the last time I’ve heard Madison swear. “You must be. You just said the F word.”

  Her mouth opens and closes for a few seconds, and then she giggles behind her hand. “I did, didn’t I?” Her shoulders move up to her ears for a second and her cheeks pink up.

  So pretty.

  I nod, bringing my face down to hers, my lips just shy of kissing her. “I’m your boyfriend. Just pretend.”

  Her eyes flick to mine. “Practice over?”

  “This is the real thing. Game on.” With that, I gently nudge her in the direction we need to go.

  Her parents smile up at us from their seats. “Well, have a seat, you two. I feel like we’ve barely seen you.” Her dad’s smile is genuine but curious, and there’s something in his eyes that tell me he’s a little wary.

  Madison’s mouth opens then closes, and she glances at me for help.

  I rub my hand up and down her back in an attempt to relax her, then gesture to her that she should sit. I pull out a chair and help her into it before I address her parents, “She’s been exhausted from that last week of school. You know how it is, Mrs. Green.” I nod at her with a smile as I sit down. Madison had mentioned how her mom used to teach, too, but recently retired.

  Mrs. Green’s eyes light up, but before she can say anything, James butts in, “Right. That’s why she’s tired.”

  His laughter has Madison shaking free of her nerves. “James,” she shoots him a warning look, “unless you want me to start talking about you and Emily in front of our parents, I’d suggest you stop right there.”

  James throws his hands out in front of him, amusement clear on his face. “Fair enough.”

  From beside him, Emily smacks his arm lightly. “You are so bad.”

  He grabs her chin and plants a loud smacking kiss on her lips. “And you love it.”

  My gaze finds Mr. Green’s again. “We really were just resting. We took a walk earlier, and I played my guitar some while I was waiting for Madi to get ready.”

  “If everyone is happy, that’s all we care about.” He takes his wife’s hand and looks pointedly at me, as well as at his own son.

  “Right. Happy and safe.” I nod. “Your daughter is both of those things with me. Don’t give it another thought.” I lean in and kiss her cheek.

  Madison’s mom places a hand over her heart, her head tilting as she watches. “I’m just so glad you’ve finally found someone, Madison. You’ve been dating a while?”

  Her family looks on as I press another kiss to her cheek. “The best months of my life.” I know Madison thinks what I do and say is for show, but I mean what I say. If she was with me, she’d always be happy and she’d always be cared for.

  At close range, I can practically feel Madison’s heart rate pick up, and when I draw away, I take her hand in mine. A string quartet is playing music, and I bob my head toward the dance floor. “Will you dance with me?”

  Her mom nudges her when she doesn’t respond right away. “You’d better take advantage of this. I heard that after dinner the string quartet goes away and they are bringing in a DJ. We’ll be doing the Chicken Dance by the end of the night.”

  A grin forms on Madison’s face as she huffs out a laugh. “Good call.” And it’s like a switch has flipped. “Let’s dance.”

  We make our way to the dance floor and as the music softly plays, we quickly get carried away by it, swaying together as one. Madison moves like a dream in my arms. As much as she’d claimed to be awkward in her heels and dress, she’s totally not. Her body was made for dancing. She doesn’t just hear the music, she feels it. She moves with it, gets a little lost in it. Every damn thing about her is enticing as hell to me.

  Our bodies are pressed close, maybe a little too close for dancing in public, but I won’t deny her and can’t dismiss the riot of sensation barreling through me. Every inch of her is molded to every inch of me, and she’s driving me half out of my mind. If this dancing is an act, she deserves an Academy Award. The way her body reacts to mine seems very much like the real thing. I can feel her heartbeat fluttering madly against my chest and mine pounds out an identical rhythm right back.

  “Madison,” I breathe out, as her head tips back to look at me. “You feel so good in my arms.” My lips skim over her forehead, and I tuck my head down into her hair near her ear. “You’re too perfect, and I don’t know why you decided to do this with me, but I’m glad you did.”

  “Do you think they’re buying it?”

  Ice-cold realization dumps over my head. “Um. Yeah, I think so.” Fuck, fuck, fuck. Here I am dancing with her, my body heating, wanting her, and she’s thinking I’m playing a part still.

  She wraps her arms around my neck for a particularly slow song and presses her breasts flush with my chest. My hands slide over her curves, down, down, dangerously close to her sweet ass, in an attempt to show her I’m not playing. She makes a little sound deep in the back of her throat and her lower half rubs against mine, and all at once, a feeling of possession rushes through me. My hard-on comes out of nowhere, pressing insistently against her stomach.

  Well, if she thought I was playing before, I guess the truth is out now. The feel of her … oh, God. In response to my thoughts, more blood rushes south of my belt. Fucking hell.

  “Shawn?” Her lips part as she takes in the strain on my face.

  I bite my lip, raking my teeth over it as I lower my face to hers. There’s a distinct question on her face, but I’m so completely riveted, absolutely engrossed by the wet slick of her plump lips, I don’t know how to answer her. I want to taste her mouth—need to devour those lips. The sweet scent of her surrounds me, our bodies so heated that each time she moves, a fresh burst of it infiltrates my senses. My lips hover just over hers, and I swallow roughly. Never have I wanted something so much—to feel her lips on mine, to taste them, stroke inside her mouth, claiming it with my tongue. Never.

  “Madison.” Her name rasps up and out of me, and with regret, I drag my mouth away from its intended target on a groan.

  Chapter 17

  Madison

  We’d discussed a lot of things in the last twenty-four hours, but we definitely hadn’t talked about that kind of dancing or whether or not he should kiss me on the lips. The last half hour on the dance floor had felt like an out-of-body experience—the hard lines of his body pressed up against mine, like some sort of bizarre symbiotic relationship was happening right there for everyone to see. If you removed either of us from the other, we’d surely not survive.

  Shawn has lit a fire inside of me that I’m not sure how to put out. The evidence of it is in full view of everyone at the reception. I don’t think there’s any way anyone doubts we’re together at this point. The problem is, he’s done such a good job of helping me fake it that I don’t want to fake it anymore.

  The way he was dancing with me, well, I must admit, I’d thought it was something more, that we’d been going way above and beyond what was necessary to fool everyone. He’d taken me right to the edge of desire, and I’d wanted him to kiss me some kind of bad—I huff out a breath—and then he’d pulled away, like it was a mistake. That almost-kiss was all I’d thought about all the way through each ridiculously long dinner course. An hour later, my breasts still feel heavy and my core still throbs every time I
think about the hot brand of his erection against my belly.

  He’d been hard for me. No faking happening there.

  As we finish up our main course, my parents get up to join the festivities on the dance floor, James and Emily disappear, and I’m left alone with Shawn for the first time since we’d reluctantly left the dance floor when the salad course had been served.

  I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous now, but it’s for a whole different reason. Unfortunately for me, I’ve been falling for our act from the very beginning. I’m having such a hard time identifying the line between reality and fantasy because we’ve both stuck our toes right over the line and wiped it away. Here goes nothing.

  I lean closer to Shawn and carefully put my hand on his muscular thigh. Brazen? Maybe. But how else am I supposed to get my point across? “I really liked dancing with you earlier.”

  He glances down at my hand on his leg, and to my surprise, he covers it with his own before our heads raise at the same time, gazes meeting and holding. I stare into that deep blue abyss, looking for some sign that he’s with me—that this isn’t all for show. My eyes beg him to see into me, down into my heart that is crying out to him to confess he has some sort of real feelings for me buried inside of him somewhere beneath all the faking and pretense. Please, Shawn. Please.

  My breath hitches as he moves his head next to mine, his lips drifting close to my ear.

  “Don’t freak out, but we have a problem. Come with me.” Shawn stands quickly, pulling me up next to him. One hand to my back, he guides me briskly out of the reception to the foyer.

  His body is rigid beside me as we walk, and I still have no idea what is happening, but I can tell he’s upset. I stop abruptly, whirling around. Shawn doesn’t even know anyone here except my family, unless …