An Elusive Bond
“The day after Antaragni, we had our usual classes. Rajat and I met twice and talked about the dinner treat I owed him. We had become sort of best friends. In the evening, we met again in the library but couldn’t talk because he had to do some research on his subject..
We decided to meet at ten at Ice Spice outside the IIT campus. It was a posh restaurant and an absolute favourite with all the students. The variety of food it offered was heaven on the palate for the IITians whose taste buds longed for a change from the regular food of the IIT mess. Rajat knew it was expensive and was reluctant to go there. But I ignored his pleas.
I had enough time to get dressed after I came back to my room from the library. I was rummaging through my clothes to find something fitting for the occasion. As I belonged to a middle class family, I never spent too much money on expensive clothes. I ended up wearing a plain black top with a subtle silver lining on its right. I had bought the top two weeks back from a nearby shop. It had U-shaped bottom line. I paired it up with ocean blue jeans. A pair of simple earrings and stilettos completed my look. I didn’t want to look over dressed. After all it was just a casual meeting with Rajat or… maybe it was a date. I wondered as I had never dated anyone during my three years in IIT.
‘Whatever! Just keep your cool and don’t be a chatterbox,’ I instructed myself and left.
When I reached the restaurant, there were quite a few people there. I looked around and found Rajat in a corner seat. He was talking to someone on the phone. Why did he choose a corner seat? I frowned. ‘Does he have something else on his mind?’ I thought, but decided to go along with the flow. I made my way towards Rajat. He was wearing a plain peach coloured shirt and had paired that with an expensive leather jacket and dark blue jeans. His outfit looked classy. He hailed from a well to do family after all. By the time I reached the table, he had hung up.
He waved to me as he saw me, “Hey Maya!”
I replied with a smile, “Hi Rajat!” as I sat down opposite him.
“You are looking pretty,” he commented and that put me on my guard. No matter how much fun I had with him in the last two days, I was still wary about this dinner. Our interactions in the past two days were related to work after all but this was sort of a private meeting away from college. Girls will also be always… well…girls, I thought.
“Umm… thanks. You look nice too,” I replied courteously. No matter how thankful I was yet I wanted to know the reason behind him helping a classmate whom he had scarcely spoken to. “Thanks. What would you like to have?” he asked looking down at the menu.
“For your kind information, Mr Rajat, it is my treat. So I should be asking you this question” I said smiling.
“Sure.” He passed the menu to me and got another one.
“So what would you like to have?” I asked as I went over the names of the dishes. I knew a treat at the restaurant was going to be expensive but I could afford it once in a blue moon.
Ice Spice was pricey but my parents had taught me to respect someone’s good deeds with an open heart and here I was thanking Rajat by giving a generous treat.
“Are you sure about eating here, Maya? Actually I am bad at placing orders,” He asked me when he noticed me silently browsing the menu for a long time.
“Hey! It’s absolutely okay. I know I am not as rich as you but I am very sure about this treat,” I smiled at him as I sipped my cold drink
“Hmm,” came his short reply. He picked up his cold drink and took a few sips.
“Ok. Tell me what do you want to eat?” I said.
He put his cold drink down on the table and picked up the menu. He was reading the menu with rapt attention while I was reading his expressions. I don’t know why I found it interesting to observe a guy like this. I had never done it earlier. All of a sudden he twitched his nose for a split of a second.
‘Why is that?’ I wondered. And suddenly he looked up while I hurriedly looked down at the menu. He had caught me watching him intently. I could sense him smiling at me. All the blood in my body rushed to my face and I turned crimson red.
“Did you decide anything?” He asked smilingly, putting his menu aside.
“Yeah” I said without looking up at him.
“Then you must have a special gift as I can see you can read the menu upside down,” he chuckled.
It was only then that I noticed I was indeed holding the menu upside down. I cursed myself and turned the menu around and smiled sheepishly.
“I understand, Maya. Why not go to our usual Hall1 canteen. It’ll be more fun there.”
Thankfully he didn’t notice that I was actually observing him or maybe he was just pretending he didn’t. I could not be sure.
“Hmmm… okay… sure” I said nodding a little too enthusiastically which he must have found odd. He tilted his head while he looked at me a little amused.
I couldn’t concentrate as I suddenly got the feeling that I was being watched. With a flickering eye movement, I noticed two boys sitting two tables away from us. They were smiling at me and I started feeling uncomfortable. I licked my lips in nervousness and started looking around to distract myself.
My reaction made Rajat suspicious. He turned to the direction where I had been looking and he also noticed the guys. He waited for a few seconds and then he turned towards me.
“Are you okay?”
I bit my lip. But I preferred to keep my calm.
“Yeah, I am fine. Don’t worry”
“Hmm. I think we should go to the Hall 1 canteen,” he said in a firm tone.
“What? No way, Rajat. It’s my treat. We are not going anywhere,” I said shaking my head dismissively.
Just then we heard a long whistle from the same table. Rajat turned towards the direction of the whistle. It came from one of the two guys. He frowned but said nothing.
Our silence had encouraged them. They started to make comments. I was gradually growing uncomfortable.
“I am not asking, Maya. Let’s go to the canteen… right now,” he said authoritatively.
“But…” I protested.
“No ifs and buts. Just come,” he held out his hand to me. I was hesitant and in that moment of uncertainty I stretched out mine too. He held my hand and we left quickly. Before heading out, he turned back and glared hard at those punks for a few seconds. Some cheap comments followed our footsteps and then the voices died down after we walked some distance. I was abashed and so was Rajat.
Once we were inside the IIT campus, I let out a sigh of relief. Though the situation in Ice Spice had been terrible, I started to feel bad. We had to end up eating in the same canteen when I’d wanted to treat Rajat in a nice restaurant. But I liked his stance there. He had stood up for a girl and my respect for him grew manifold.
It was then only when we reached to the canteen that Rajat seemed to regain his usual self. I was also relaxed and was lost in my thoughts when Rajat interrupted.
“Now that we are already late for dinner and I am hungry as hell, nobody is asking me what I’d like to order,” he said dramatically.
He was definitely back to his normal self.
I teased, “I heard someone say something like I-am-bad-at-placing-orders a while ago,” I teased him and held out my tongue. He laughed at my expression.
Then we ordered dinner. As we were waiting for our orders to arrive, I couldn’t help thinking about a few things. If I wanted to get answers soon, it had to be during dinner.
But how would I ask him what was on my mind? ‘What motive did you have behind helping me, Rajat?’ or ‘Do you expect something else from me in return?’ I couldn’t possibly ask such hare-brained questions directly. After few minutes, our food arrived. We ate while talking about things like family backgrounds, likes and dislikes.
Rajat was born with a silver spoon in his mouth. His family was ridiculously rich and they had a well-established business spanning over many cities. He did not need to look for a job. Even getting into t
he IIT was not an absolute necessity for him. He could easily join his father’s business and did not have to go through any of the hassles of a job hunt. But it was his decision to get into the third most reputed institution of the world and create his own identity. His elder brothers looked after the business. So it was easy for him to slip out of his father’s shadow and discover his own identity. I was impressed at his drive and enthusiasm. But unfortunately I couldn’t find a single appropriate moment to ask my questions.
After finishing dinner, we walked towards the academic blocks.
Before things could unfold further, I decided to confront him this time without hesitation.
“Tell me one thing honestly, why did you choose to come back to this canteen?” I asked though I knew the answer already.
He raised his eyebrows at such a bold question. “People matter more than the place for me. I feel more comfortable here,” he replied cleverly. I couldn’t say anything else on this matter.
“Okay,” I said and we sat down near the famous Black Crow, opposite the P. K. Kelkar library. The Black Crow is a spot in the IIT campus that has an artefact of a black crow. Interestingly, it is also known as kissing point for lovers. But we definitely had no such intentions. I mean just because you are visiting a place where people commit suicide doesn’t mean you have to kill yourself; in the same way, sitting at the kissing point doesn’t really mean that any couple sitting there had to kiss. There were many pairs around though. They choose to come to the Black Crow usually late in the evening. Sitting at such a spot was gradually making us uncomfortable. We fell silent. I wanted the answers to my questions but wasn’t sure how to proceed.
“You had promised to tell me where you had learnt pottery making. Now tell me,” Rajat broke the silence.
‘A good question to begin the conversation,’ I thought. “During my first year in IIT, when I was at home for the vacation, there was a month long workshop on pottery making, stitching, painting and cooking. I found pottery making intriguing and that’s where I learnt this skill.”
“Hmm. You are really good at it, Maya. People liked your stuff very much.”
Now this was the moment where I could have easily asked him the question that was prodding me since the last two days. I sat up straight on the chair and looked at him.
“Thanks, Rajat. But my success is not mine alone. It was the blend of your wonderful ideas and efforts and, above all, your belief in me. Without your contribution, it wouldn’t have been possible for me to achieve it.” I paused for a moment and looked at him. He was listening to my words with his eyes fixed on the starry sky.
He looked at me and smiled. He pointed to the stars.
“Can you see the moon, Maya? Can you explain the reason behind its light?”
“Sure! Though the moon shines yet, it does not have its own light. It gets its light from the sun and that is why it looks bright to us,” I said, matter of factly. I couldn’t understand the reason behind being asked such a simple question.
“Yes. That is right, but does the source of its light matter? No. The thing that matters most is that it shines. That’s all. People see it and enjoy its glow without thinking about the original source behind it. In the same way, Maya, maybe it was my idea that worked but people saw you doing everything; they saw you as the shining moon of the stall. Not me.”
I gave a big smile at his compliment. The way he put forward his stand was impressive. I smiled as I shook my head at his witty explanation. With his question answered, I was ready with mine.
“Wow… okay. Thanks. And as I have told you what you wanted to know, will you now tell me why did you help me out in the first place while I was just a stranger to you?”
Rajat shut his eyes. Maybe he was searching for appropriate words. I earnestly hoped he would not give me a reason like dating, love, social service, helping a damsel in distress or, even worse, flirting. If he asked me to go on a date, I’d stop being friends with him. After a few seconds of silence, he opened his eyes and looked straight into mine. I felt as though he had peeped into my mind when I heard his words.
“You didn’t forget that I see. But I knew this question would pop up some time. Don’t worry, Maya. The reason behind me helping you is not love, flirting or even doing a social service. I can explain it to you now but it is complicated and I don’t know if you’ll understand. But I owe you an explanation. I helped you because I felt like it. It’s true that we had never spoken to each other but we are classmates. It was natural for me to observe you during the fest because our stalls were opposite to each other. I saw how hard you were trying and then I saw you dejected at the end of the day. The next day you tried harder but things didn’t improve. Rather, they worsened. I didn’t feel good about it. I could see the effort you were putting in. I just wanted to lend a helping hand. I didn’t have any idea how to help you but I tried. Spreading smiles does not cost you anything so I came over. That’s it, Maya.”
“Really?” was all I could mutter.
“Is it so hard to believe?” he asked in return.
I was quiet for some time, absorbing his every word and squeezing out the meaning. I must admit it was indeed complicated to understand. In big institutes like IIT, helping out is usually considered a means for boys to date a girl. I realised that Rajat did not just prove this notion wrong but also that he was good at heart. He was not selfish. He was someone who did things to please others without expecting anything in return. His candour had touched me. I nodded at his explanation.
“You are right that it is difficult to understand what you just said but I do believe every word, Rajat, and I am happy that you are my friend. I am lucky that Antaragni has given me something more than just success,” I said as I gathered some courage and gave him a friendly hug.
He hugged me back too and teased me childishly, “Whoa! Now what should I think of this? You hugging me all time when you are happy? Are you flirting with me now? If yes, I can say that Antaragni has also given me something more than just success.” He repeated my lines.
I laughed and punched him. He was an honest person with quick wit. I liked his sense of humour.
“Hah. I know you are a decent boy,” I teased him. We laughed and this laughter tied us with the string of eternal friendship.
We chatted for a while longer and bid adieu to each other after some time. I was surprised when I found myself longing for more of his company. Nonetheless I returned to my room. His words, his smile, and his every gesture were centralising my thoughts like a vortex, taking me down to a world which was entirely new to me. An alien beautiful world where such relationships do exist and are as pure as a fresh dew drop, as sweet as honey, as honest as a baby smile and as everlasting as time itself. I was happy and content to find it yet I wasn’t bothered to decipher its twisted chains of codes just yet.
I had had many friends but Rajat’s friendship was bliss and meant a lot to me. The way he had helped me out and stood up for me at Ice Spice was sublimating. I thought I was getting overwhelmed by everything but sometimes it is okay to be silly and over-emotional. It makes you feel human. It was also infusing me with a strange kind of an assertion in my heart somewhere. Whatever happens, you know that person will be there to hold your hand to say ‘Everything will be fine’. Such a feeling of certainty had enveloped all around me. That night I slept with a kind of joy that I had hardly come across earlier in my life. It was the joy of a friendship that would never fail me.
A Dream Job
Since that night we were in constant touch with each other. Our friendship had become like oxygen for us without which we couldn’t exist. We studied together, shared project ideas and a lot of laughter too. We helped and grew fond of each other. Our respective friends noticed our closeness too but we didn’t take them seriously. We both were just friends and nothing more than that. In college, if a boy and a girl share a platonic relationship, it is never believed by others. We just chose to keep a tab on such baseless rumours without taking t
hem seriously.
Rajat was pursuing a five year Masters degree in Mathematics and Scientific Computing; the very name itself commanded instant admiration. I was doing four year degree course in Material and Metallurgical Engineering (MME). Time passed away quickly and I reached my final year and Rajat, his fourth year.
Every year in IIT, companies come to the college campus right after the end of final year’s first semester. The purpose is obvious – to recruit the brilliant final year students for their organisations. Campus placements mean that several small and big companies come to the colleges, perform rounds of interviews and select the best brains for their organisations. Rounds and rounds of interviews were being conducted every day. In IITK, campus placements usually starts in December and goes on till March the next year with few breaks in between.
Like many other final year students, I was very much serious about my career. Since I belonged to an average middle class family, it was essential for me to get a well paid job. After all, my parents did not spend most of their money on me just to enjoy an IITian’s life. I was well aware of the liabilities, responsibilities and expectations on my shoulders.
I was nervous and frantically preparing for the interviews. The irony is that, it takes hours and hours for one to prepare for an interview but one tiny mistake to destroy the castle of one’s efforts! One mistake in the interview and your dream job becomes a distant dream right away.
I had gone through several mock interview rounds organised by the MME department for the all final year students. It is basically done in order to send the feelers as in how to handle interview pressure. Then I went for several real job interviews too. I gave each one my best shot but dreaming of a job and finding one turned out to be two poles apart. I just couldn’t get a good job and it was frustrating me inside out.
It’s Never Too Late Page 6