No Vacancy

by Stephanie Rose

  I snapped out of my trance when Amy dropped my phone on the table.

  “What? Oh, the one of us in bed?” I cringed and took back my phone.

  “No.” She giggled and covered her eyes. “The video.”

  “The video?” I snatched back my phone and glanced at the still of the video on my screen. It was Joe, in a towel, mid-lap dance encore. When did he do this?

  “You didn’t know it was there?” She gaped at me as I shook my head in disbelief.

  “Absolutely not.”

  She was still laughing when I punched out a text.

  Caterina: I’m going to kill you.

  Joe: ??

  Caterina: Don’t play dumb, Magic Mike. When did you do that?

  Joe: You just found it now?

  Caterina: No, my friend did. She wanted to scroll through my vacation pictures and stumbled upon my naked boyfriend dancing with a towel. So, thanks. Now I can’t look her in the eye for the rest of the day.

  Joe: Your BOYFRIEND misses the shit out of you, right now. You must be seven shades of red.

  It wasn’t until he capped the word boyfriend that I realized my slip. I didn’t want anyone else, and I didn’t want him with anyone else, but neither of us had used the words before. In fact, I avoided them when I could because I was afraid of getting my own hopes up. Or, if I was honest with myself, referring to any kind of commitment between us upset me because it wasn’t the commitment I wanted. I was in love, plain and simple. The timing made it all sound crazy, and that’s exactly what we were—crazy in love with separate lives too far away to be shared.

  “Cat, are you all right? You looked a little distant, just now.”

  I nodded, going back to the still of the video with a smile creeping on my lips.

  “Yeah, I’m okay. It was a great two weeks, but we’re having a hard time extending vacation to real life.”

  “As sad as you look right now, I’m jealous as hell of you.” Amy chuckled. “The way he was looking at you in some of those pictures… I’ve never seen you so lit up before.” She patted my hand. “I’m sure you guys will work it out.”

  I shrugged, not nearly as sure but hoping she was right.

  I jerked out of a restless sleep around two o’clock in the morning when my phone buzzed under my pillow.

  “Hi, Joe.” My mouth stretched with a yawn.

  “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have called you so late.”

  “Or early, I get up at five, so it’s all relative.” My voice was hoarse and full of sleep even though I couldn’t get any. “I don’t care what time it is when you call.”

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing.” I answered a bit too quickly to be convincing.

  “Come on, baby. Talk to me.”

  “I’m okay,” I lied. I was weak. I promised I’d try, but I was failing in every way. I still couldn’t shake my obligations at work right now. All I wanted was to take off for the weekend and be with Joe, causing my frustration to rise. I was overdramatic even in my own head, but I still felt hopeless and helpless.

  “I just…I really miss you.”

  “I miss you too, beautiful. So much, you can’t imagine. My pillow still smells a little like you, so I pretend you’re still in bed with me.”

  “You haven’t changed the sheets since I left? That’s gross, Joe.”

  His laugh boomed in my ear. “I changed the sheets. They got too much of a workout when you were here, so I didn’t have a choice. But I left the pillowcase.”

  “Does it work?”

  “Eh, not really. My pillow doesn’t hog three quarters of the bed.”

  “Again, I do not hog the bed.”

  “Again, yes, you do. But having those warm and naked curves all over me makes it worth it.” His playful, gruff voice triggered a hot shiver. “Why I always … woke you up.”

  “I remember.” I never got much sleep in Joe’s bed, but I’d still had a hard time sleeping in my own since I’d come back.

  “And I can bury my head in the pillow, but it’s not the same as when I bury my head between your legs. So, it’s a pretty subpar substitute.”

  “Is that so? I’m sorry to hear that.”

  “Without you coming in my mouth, it sucks.”

  My cheeks heated as I shook my head. Sweet and dirty, that was the Joe I knew, and the Joe I wanted so much it hurt.

  “You have such a filthy mouth. And I miss it so much.”

  “Pretend you’re here with me.”

  “What like phone sex, again? I don’t know how good I’d be this tired. The FaceTime with me in the shower this morning wasn’t enough?”

  That involved a wall mount for my phone and a lot of maneuvering to get everything into the right spot, but it was worth every bit of hassle and then some.

  “That was amazing,” he rasped. “But I don’t think phone sex is what we need right now. Lay your head on my chest.”

  I turned on my side, imagining resting my cheek on Joe’s hard chest instead of my therapeutic neck pillow.

  “My finger is running up and down your back. Do you know you fall asleep in less than five minutes when I do that?”

  “I do?” I lifted my head off of the pillow.

  “Yes. That and playing with your hair but, sometimes, after … you have a lot of tangles.” I grinned, nodding in agreement although I was alone in the dark of my bedroom. “But the tip of my finger up and down your back always does the trick. You slump against me, and you’re out like a light.”

  “I wish you could do that now.” My heavy eyes welled up before I sucked in a breath and blinked it away. “I can’t sleep very well these days.”

  “I wish I could, too. I wish … I wish for a lot of things. And you’re at the top of my list.”

  “So are you.” I relaxed, picturing Joe’s finger moving up and down my back in my mind’s eye, almost feeling his chest rise and fall under mine. I thought of strong arms, a crooked grin, and the sexiest blue eyes I’d ever seen. If I tried hard enough, I could see the man who knew me for only a short time but better than I knew myself—the man I wanted to be mine.

  35

  Caterina

  “Is it tomorrow yet? Are you sure you just can’t call out sick or something early?”

  I giggled into my pillow, shaking my head at Joe’s adorable impatience. Deciding to try not to be the office doormat anymore, I told my boss that I would work remotely for Labor Day weekend. She was fine with it, but Sharon, the other manager on my team was not and didn’t hold back showing it. While I put in all those needlessly long hours, Sharon made sure to never linger past six and took our new remote policy a bit too far at times, going “dark” as we all liked to joke for the day while she was supposed to be working from home. We were both on the same level, but she had five years seniority and wasn’t afraid to use it whenever she could.

  “Do you know me at all, Joe? I’ve never called in sick unless I had no choice. I would have had perfect attendance in high school had it not been for my stupid appendix almost bursting in senior year,” I whined. That’s always bothered me.

  “Sometimes, I feel so bad for you when you were a kid. I can see you crying to your mother to be allowed to go to school like my sister would even though she had a fever.”

  “I can’t help the way I’m wired.” I rolled out of bed and rubbed my eyes. Joe’s hours were getting later, and his phone calls came right around the time I had to start getting ready for work. He might have been miles away, but he was still part of my everyday life. The excitement over seeing him for the first time in over a month sparked a glimmer of hope in my chest that maybe, just maybe, we could make this work. “Love me or leave me.”

  My sleepy eyes bulged when I realized what I’d said. Yes, I loved him, but I didn’t want us to say it over the phone at five o’clock in the morning. It seemed cheap, and even though we both had whiplash from how fast we were going, that, at least, shouldn’t be rushed.

  The long beat of silence between us
unnerved me a little.

  “I’m definitely not leaving you.” The familiar creak of his bed as he settled in made me impatient, too. I should be there, and, in only a couple of days, I would be. “I haven’t tasted your pussy in so long,” Joe groaned. “I think I’m going to do that the second I see you.”

  “Really? I’m meeting you at the restaurant. You’ll do that with all your customers there?” I crossed my legs, wishing that second was now.

  “I have an office, remember? With a couch. There’s no way I’m waiting until we close. I can almost taste you right now.” His gravelly whisper took me back weeks ago, to those few wonderful days that were probably the best of my entire life.

  “Is that all you want me for? A Labor Day sex marathon?” I laughed, expecting to hear him laugh with me but was met with another long minute of nothing.

  “I want you for everything, and you should know that. I miss you more than I’ve ever missed anyone. It’s like a limb is missing or something. You were only here for a short time, but I can’t remember what it was like before you.” Joe yawned, and my lips tingled to kiss him goodnight.

  “I know the feeling well. Crazy, isn’t it?”

  “That’s the thing. It’s not crazy at all. Go to work. I’ll text when I get up.”

  He was right, the crazy part was that it wasn’t crazy. In fact, nothing ever seemed more right.

  “You’ve got to be kidding me.” I glared at Amy, not wanting to believe what she said.

  “Nope, Sharon called Emma this morning to say that she’s so sorry, but she had to leave on a family emergency for the weekend. Who calls their boss on a Thursday to call out for an entire weekend? Want to bet the emergency is on Long Beach Island? Emma is pissed beyond belief, but now we have to come in Friday and maybe Saturday to split the work she would have done for the weekend.”

  “And we have to all be in on Monday, so any Labor Day plans we had …” I couldn’t say it out loud.

  “Gone.” She plopped into my office chair as her head fell back. “She’s a sneak. Why can’t anyone see this? You’ve been picking up her slack for months.”

  I was partially responsible for Sharon. I’d made it too easy for her to come and go with as little effort as possible because what else did I have to do but work? I had a relationship I didn’t care enough about at the time to worry if I had to stay late. Now, I wanted to spit nails right after I spit at her.

  I’d thought about what Joe said this morning all day, how he didn’t remember how life was before I came into The Beach Pub. Things were complicated like I knew they would be, but sitting here at my desk, I wasn’t as satisfied as before I’d left. I loved my job and my clients, and, while this launch was a lot of work, it was exciting. But, unlike before I made the hasty drive to Ocean Cove, I wanted more now and couldn’t go back.

  36

  Joe

  “Caterina, it’s okay. I mean, it sucks—a lot—but I understand. Just makes the next time we see each other that much better.” I tried to mask how disappointed I really was and not make her feel even worse. After a month without her, I was ready to lose it but would keep myself in check until we hung up. Then, I’d take it out on the punching bag in the makeshift gym we’d made in the corner of the restaurant basement or have an extra shot of something at closing time when her absence always gnawed at me the most.

  “I’m sorry, Joe. I miss you so damn much. I hate that I—”

  “Stop it. I miss you too. We knew with the jobs we have this would happen sometimes. It’s just life, is all. The important thing is that we keep trying, right? Maybe it’s better you didn’t come.”

  “Why?” I smiled, thinking of her stiffening in her office chair as her guard went up. Fuck, I missed her.

  “Because I wouldn’t have let you out of my bed. You wouldn’t have gotten any work done, and poor Dom would have dealt with one of our busiest weekends all by himself. Once I got between your legs, there would be zero chance of me coming up for air.”

  “I actually believe you.” She laughed before groaning in frustration. “But I still can’t see anything good about not being with you. I miss you so much, it’s making me crazy.”

  “The way I look at it, being this miserable about not seeing each other may not feel all that lucky right now, but it is.”

  “So both of us feeling like shit right now is lucky?” I pictured her full lips drooping in a frown. I hadn’t tasted them in a month, but they were unforgettable.

  “Yes, it is.”

  “Did you just use your boss voice on me?” She always teased me about my stern tone when I spoke to my employees but loved it when I used it on her in private.

  “It means what we have is worth fighting for.” A long silence hovered between us. I knew when she left, it would be tough, but we were too good together to give up.

  “I better get back. I still have a mountain of work to go back to.”

  “Yeah, this place is crazy right now, too. But hey, don’t be upset. We hit our first bump in the road, that’s all this is.”

  “Yep, just a bump,” she halfheartedly agreed, making me wish I could jump through the phone and pull her into my arms to make her believe it.

  “I’ll call you tonight. It may be late, or early tomorrow.” We already had customers waiting to be seated today, and last night, the bar was packed. I wished I could drop everything and go see her, but it wasn’t possible. Still, the itch to do it in the first place spoke volumes about how I felt about her.

  “Don’t work too hard.” I heard the smile in her voice.

  “Right back at you.” We said goodbye and hung up. I left my office and headed to the dining area, even more crowded now since I’d stepped away to take Caterina’s call. This was what I wanted and what I’d been working toward for the past two years. I should’ve been happy, and I was, but the sour pang in my gut wouldn’t let me fully enjoy it.

  “Hey.” Dom smacked my arm, startling me out of my trance. “When does Caterina get here tomorrow?”

  “She doesn’t. I just spoke to her, and she can’t get away from the office this weekend, after all.” I lifted a sad shoulder. Pretending to be upbeat for Caterina was taxing, and it almost felt good to wallow in front of Dominic. I nodded a hello to a regular customer over his shoulder and tried to get my head back to where it was supposed to be, but my heart wasn’t in it today. It was stuck in Brooklyn with Caterina.

  “Sorry, man. Maybe you can go see her next week. I could handle the straggler rush.”

  “Maybe, but I’ve taken advantage enough already. I can’t keep leaving this place with you on a whim.”

  “A whim?” An incredulous laugh fell from his lips. “You look like someone killed your puppy right now. Caterina isn’t a whim to you, that’s pretty obvious. I’m happy to help you when I can.”

  “Because you know I’m going to owe you big in the off-season.” I forced out a chuckle, but Dominic only shook his head.

  “When you’re that sick over someone, you need to make it work.” He turned to head back into the kitchen.

  I was sick over her because I loved her. It was a first, and, if this month had taught me anything, she would be the last. Whatever I had planned, for myself or for this place, I always imagined it with her by my side, or else it was hollow, exactly like I felt today.

  37

  Caterina

  A week later

  Caterina: Thank you. That was very sweet but you didn’t have to do that.

  Joe: Do what? Send soup to my sick girlfriend? Even though she wouldn’t let me drive up and take care of her.

  Caterina: I’m fine, Joe. Weak and a little woozy but fine.

  All week long, Joe and I planned for what I hoped would be a romantic weekend in my apartment. I couldn’t wait for him to get here until I started throwing up on Thursday, and Friday. Today was the first time in three days I’d managed to swallow anything without the threat of it coming back up.

  Joe: I still don’t see why I couldn�
��t come see you this weekend. I haven’t seen you in so fucking long. I don’t care if you’re throwing up.

  Caterina: I care. For two reasons.

  Joe: I can’t wait to hear what they are.

  Caterina: One, I don’t want you catch this stomach plague I have. And two, I kinda don’t want to ruin the image of me tan and naked on the beach with you on the night before I left. The putrid way I look now would totally erase that from your memory.

  Joe: A lobotomy wouldn’t erase that, baby. I hate that I’m not with you this weekend.

  Caterina: Trust me. I hate that, too.

  Joe: Dominic’s uncle lives in Bay Ridge and swears by the soup at Rino’s. I thought you could use that more than a flower delivery.

  Caterina: They do have good soup. I usually get minestrone, but the chicken soup is perfect. I still have to go slow on the noodles.

  Joe: My chicken soup is better.

  Caterina: I’m sure it is.

  Joe: I’d make it for you right now if I was there.

  Joe: I’d give anything to be there.

  Caterina: I know, baby.

  Joe: Baby??

  Caterina: Yeah, so? You call me that all the time.

  Joe: But, you never called ME that before ;)