Pauper's Desire

by Kitt Lee

  Caleb checked the bathroom, the clothes room and the other office but there was no sign of his husband. He got hurt so much but he had to cope with it. Maybe his husband had just woken up early to go check up on his mother. But why was he feeling that his husband was blaming him for Janice's poisoning too?

  Caleb sighed and he quickly rushed into the shower. He took a quick shower, put some clothes on and got nervous when the idea of going downstairs hit his brain. He was hungry and the only place he knew he could find food was at the dining. He knew the family members were probably having breakfast but why should he fear? He was not the one who had poisoned Janice.

  Caleb hoped Johnny had just been mad and didn't mean anything he said. Once he goes to the dining room Johnny would be smiling like he usually did, he hoped.

  Caleb took a deep breath and he got out of the room. He went downstairs and wondered whether there were people in the house at all. It was too quiet.

  He quickly rushed to the dining room and almost had a heart attack when he found the family members in the dining room having breakfast and looking lost. They didn't seem to notice him as they were all deeply lost in thought. He looked around and noticed that his husband, George, William and Janice were not around. He was immediately filled with worry. Where was his husband?

  "Oh," Granny smiled. "Caleb!"

  Caleb raised his head and gasped. Now all eyes were on him and they seemed angry.

  "Come," Granny smiled. "Join us for breakfast."

  Caleb smiled faintly and began going towards the chair before he heard loud banging on the table. He stopped in his tracks and looked at Suzanne, Juanita and Johnny furiously getting off the chairs.

  Suzanne hissed and that made him weak. They did hate him after all. Just two days ago they'd been having a wonderful dinner together but now they hated him. It was really painful. He just wished he could reverse everything and reject making Janice's soup.

  Caleb quickly gathered himself and sighed.

  "Johnny!" He called softly.

  Johnny quickly stopped and turned. He was furious and Caleb really hoped he had not triggered anything that would put him in any form of trouble.

  "What?" Johnny said, clenching his fists.

  "Can I have a word with you?"

  "Be quick!" Johnny said, feeling so much anger. "I don't have whole day."

  "I just wanna say I'm sorry," Caleb apologized, feeling tears building in his eyes. "I know I made the soup but I didn't put anything aside from the ingredients."

  Johnny just stood there and listened without saying anything. He needed to get it over with quickly. He didn't need to say anything to the stupid boy who had almost killed his mother.

  "I just want you to trust me." Caleb said, rubbing a tear that had run down his cheek. "I just need the man who told me he's my brother. That is the man I want. I know you think I'm guilty because I made the soup but..."

  "I'm sorry," Johnny said angrily. "But I'm not your brother. Even if I was," He sighed and looked angrily at Caleb. "I don't want to be anymore. You and I share nothing. And please, stay away from me. I don't wanna see your face."

  Johnny quickly turned and stormed out of the dining, slamming the door really hard as he left. It made Caleb to shiver but that was painful too. He was really hoping he could reconcile with his brother in law but it was just too hard for him. Johnny believed he had poisoned his mother and that was really painful.

  Caleb lost his appetite. He slowly turned and headed for the door.

  "Hey," Caroline said, quickly rising from the chair. "Where are you going?"

  Caleb turned and faced his aunt. He had no expression on his face and she seemed worried.

  "Where are you going?" Caroline asked. "Aren't you having your breakfast?"

  Caleb looked at her and a tear ran down his face. He was really hurt by everything that was going on. He just wanted to sleep for a long time and find everything gone.

  "I'm going to my room," He mumbled, rubbing his tear. "And I'm not hungry. Don't worry about me."

  Caroline sighed. "Are you angry with me?"

  Caleb nodded his head. "No! It's just that..."

  "I'm sorry," Caroline apologized as she took his hands in hers. "I'm sorry I didn't say anything yesterday. It's just that I was confused."

  "Don't worry," Caleb said as he tried to smile. "I understand completely. Your sister was poisoned by..."

  "No!" Caroline said softly, squeezing his hands. "Please, don't say that. I don't know what happened and to be honest I didn't know what to think. If you say you didn't poison her. I trust you didn't. She didn't even die so don't think that I'm mad at you."

  "Yeah," granny said as she rose from the chair. "Don't worry about it. The Lord always redeems those that are innocent. If you are innocent he'll vindicate you. Don't worry about the others. They'll eventually talk to you."

  "Thank you so much." Caleb said softly. "This really means a lot to me. I'll find a way to prove my innocence. It'll be hard but I know that I'll get somewhere."

  "We'll be here if you need our help." Granny smiled as she moved her hand to caress his cheek.

  "Thank you!" Caleb smiled. "I'll be in my room."

  "Alright," Caroline smiled. "I'll have some food sent over."

  Caleb smiled faintly and he left the dining room. He didn't plan on coming out of his room as he feared he'd just ruin everyone else's day. He planned to stay in his room the whole day and wait for his husband.

  Caleb was still going to his room when he almost bumped into William. He tried to open his mouth but was signaled to remain quiet. William came in front of him and he stood with arms crossed. He was looking really mad and his breaths were low and harsh.

  "Please, William," Caleb said, touching his aching head. "I'm not in the mood for anything. I just wanna go..."

  "Where?" William asked rudely. "To your room? You are not even ashamed of yourself. You tried to kill your husband's mother and you..."

  "That's a lie," Caleb said. "You know the way I am. I can't hurt anybody. I'm..."

  "Of course," William said, rolling his eyes. "Taking Preston from me I handled it without putting up a war but this time you wanted to take away someone that I really love. You know very well that I don't mess around when it comes to mother. So let me warn you, if you try to hurt her again I'll kill you without hesitation."

  William furiously left after that warning leaving Caleb hurt and depressed. Everyone was ganging up against him. He was even getting more confused as to who had poisoned Janice. No name came to his mind. He really had suspected William but why William would poison Janice.

  Caleb nodded his hurting head and he went to his room. He sat on the bed thinking or rather trying to thing which was impossible by the way. He was not able to think clearly especially with so many questions ringing in his head.

  He grabbed a pillow and slowly laid his head on it. He knew he had to find out the truth about what had happened. He had to find out because his husband was slowly slipping away from him. He needed to find out for the sake of his relationship with his husband.

  ****

  Caleb was worried. He was really worried. He was wandering about from place to place, glancing at his watch and playing in his heart. His husband had never been this late before. It was already 9.45 pm and he was nowhere to be seen. It was all just confusing.

  The husband who rushed from work every day just to come and see him was no not home at 9. He got worried. He wanted to go out of the room to ask downstairs but that was a really bad idea. He didn't want to ruin people's moods and hence the reason why he stayed in the room whole day, suffering and worried sick about his husband.

  He's been in the room whole day. He had his lunch and dinner in his room thanks to Caroline and her good heart. But now he went from being worried to panicking. He couldn't take it anymore. He had to go downstairs to ask even if they curse him. Yes! That was the right thing to do.

  Caleb quickly began moving towards the door before it flung
open. He stopped and stared at Preston who stood in the doorway, holding his jacket and looking tired. He'd never seen him look like that and hence the reason why he got worried. He had to do something to make him feel better though.

  Caleb smiled brightly and rushed to his husband. He wrapped his arms around him and felt him tense up.

  "I missed you," Caleb said excitedly. "You got me really worried."

  Without responding to the hug, Preston said, "I'm sorry. I was busy at work that's all."

  Preston had no idea why he was slowly slipping away from Caleb. The more he saw him the more he got confused. Each time was like torture. He didn't even have any sleep at night. Not because he didn't love Caleb but... he just didn't know what to do anymore.

  Caleb pulled away from Preston, got a jacket from him, took his hand sweetly and brought him inside. He made him sit on the bed while he went to prepare the shower for him. He couldn't help but get worried because his husband was surely not in a good mood.

  He went back to the room and found Preston stripped to his underwear but there was no expression on his face. Caleb couldn't read a thing.

  "I'll go take a shower." Preston said as he took a towel and headed for the bathroom.

  Caleb didn't need to jump to conclusions but he was sure that his husband was hiding something. He was hiding something or rather he was keeping some words away from him. That was not his husband. Sure, Caleb understood that his mother had just been poisoned but he could have at least smiled.

  Caleb sat on the bed waiting for Preston. It was not long before he heard the bathroom door opening. Preston came out with a towel wrapped around his waist. He was looking so sexy and eye-catching. Caleb couldn't help but admire the view before him. He was still worried but maybe he needed to make his husband happy.

  It was what he needed to do. Maybe his husband would warm up to him after making love. Yes! He was not in the mood but maybe he needed to do it for his husband's happiness and pleasure.

  He eyed Preston as he stood with his back to him, applying lotion on his body. Caleb slowly stood and walked to Preston. He quickly wrapped his arms around him and kissed his back, hoping for his husband to respond to it.

  He slowly caressed his husband's chest, feeling that tingly hair on his hands. He pressed soft kisses on his back to turn him on but the guy just stood there without any reaction. This was so unlike him but he continued anyway.

  Preston had absolutely no idea what was going on with him. He knew that Caleb was trying to make him feel good but what it was making him do was feel worse than he actually felt. He was in no mood to make love to Caleb that night. But he had to make him feel special and happy.

  He moved his hands and touched Caleb's caressing hands. He quickly turned and faced Caleb with a controlled smile. He slowly brought him closer and gave him a quick kiss.

  "I'm sorry," Preston apologized as he kissed Caleb's hands. "I am really tired tonight, my love. We'll do this another time."

  Caleb's suspicions were right. Preston was definitely hiding something from him and it was hurting him. If only he could tell him that his rejection had hurt him then he would do it.

  Caleb smiled faintly. "It's okay. I understand."

  He pulled away from him and stood at a distance still smiling.

  "Have you had your..."

  "Yes," Preston smiled faintly. "I had dinner downstairs."

  Caleb smiled faintly. Something was definitely wrong.

  "I'm sorry." Preston muttered. He felt bad for telling Caleb that.

  "It's okay," Caleb said with a controlled smile. "There is nothing wrong."

  "I promise we'll make love." Preston mumbled. "It's just that I'm tired after a long day. I think we should just go to bed."

  Caleb nodded and headed for the bed. He slipped under the covers, wondering what was really wrong with his husband. He was really hurt but he still understood him anyway. It was expected since his mother was still recovering after being poisoned.

  Caleb had his back to Preston' side. He felt he didn't need to face him or he'd just cry out and tell him how much he was really hurting him. In a few seconds he heard him slipping under the covers. He felt tears building in his eyes but he did his best to make them disappear.

  Seeing Caleb's back turned to him was killing him. As much as he was drawn to his mother's poisoning he didn't want to make Caleb feel bad. It was his responsibility to make him happy and he was gonna do everything to make him feel better.

  Preston slipped under the covers, extending his hand to touch Caleb's shoulder.

  "Baby," Preston muttered.

  Caleb slowly turned and faced his husband. He was smiling faintly and even though his mood was not good Caleb felt a little better.

  "Yes,"

  "Come here," Preston smiled, opening his arms wide for Caleb. "I want to hold you."

  Caleb smiled and moved closer to Preston. He gave him a quick kiss and buried his head on his chest. He felt Preston' arms wrapping around him tightly. He felt warm, cozy and sleepy. At least all his worries went away.

  "Goodnight," Preston said, kissing Caleb's head.

  "Goodnight," Caleb said, breathing in Preston' aroma.

  Caleb smiled and buried his head deeper into Preston' chest. The hot breath on his head was sending chills down his spine but he was more than happy.

  He closed his eyes as his conscious mind took him to another dimension. He was really happy.

  ****

  Things began spiraling out of control after that night. Caleb woke up the next morning without Preston and he felt empty again. He went downstairs and the family gave him a cold shoulder. He spent some time with Granny before he went outside to the pool.

  Of course, Preston came back without telling him and he spent the whole afternoon with his mother. By the time he came back to the room Caleb was already asleep. It was really starting to hurt him a lot. Whenever Preston was around he acted as if everything was alright but Caleb could tell that he was lying.

  Every day it was the same thing. Preston spending more time with his mother, refusing to make love to Caleb, smiling faintly, going to work earlier than before and coming home tired. Caleb was talking to Caroline and granny but that was it. There was nothing they were doing to help him. On one hand was Preston and on the other was the family that totally avoided him.

  Even William avoided him. Janice got better within a few days but she too never talked to him. Caleb was hurt. He was really hurt. Preston still did the same thing even when Janice got well. But it was now worse, early rise and late night working. Sometimes he came home really late, Caleb had no idea he came home at all.

  ***

  Caleb was sitting at the edge of the bed thinking. He was thinking about the things that have happened in the last one week. Preston' behavior has been hurting him emotionally even without realizing it. At first he had thought that it was because Janice was hurt but what was his excuse now?

  Caleb was not gonna sleep till he comes home. He's gonna ask him why he's treating him in that manner. He kept glancing at his watch and he even got surprised when he realized that it was it was almost 11.pm. How could Preston do this to him?

  He got up and impatiently walked from side to side.

  About twenty minutes he heard the door opening and a tired looking Preston came inside. This time Caleb just stared at him without saying anything to him. He was not gonna welcome him this time. He was gonna question him.

  "Oh, I'm so sorry," Preston apologized as he came closer.

  He gave him a quick kiss on the lips. Caleb didn't react. He just stood there looking like a statue. He needed immediate answers before he went insane with the questions that were ringing through his head.

  "I'm really sorry, my love." Preston apologized, throwing the jacket on the bed. "There was so much..."

  "Work, right," Caleb said softly, feeling something burning in him. "That is what I have been hearing from you for the past one week."

  Preston was quiet. H
e knew Caleb was right.

  "I'm so..."

  "I need answers," Caleb said, realizing that his voice was rising.

  "Nothing," Preston said as he slowly unbuttoned his shirt. "I don't have any answers."

  "Why are you doing this?" Caleb asked, blocking Preston' path. "You've been trying to avoid me. Don't you love me anymore?"

  "OF course, I love you." Preston chuckled as he turned to the bed.

  "Then why," Caleb said as he felt tears building in his eyes. "I feel like I'm living with a stranger. It's like we are not married at all. You leave early in the morning and come back late at night. Don't my feelings matter to you anymore?"