Friends With Benefits

by Lisa Swift

  ‘Yes, Carmel in the post office told me you were expecting a little one in the autumn,’ Lexie said, smiling. ‘Congratulations, you two.’

  ‘I suppose we ought to have kept it secret until after my first scan, but who can keep anything quiet here? Carmel probably knew before I did.’

  ‘Well, as an honorary mum of one I feel qualified to state that your life will never be the same again. Your little sister must be excited, is she?’

  ‘God, isn’t she just? And my mum isn’t much better than Milly.’

  ‘How is Connor, Lexie?’ Xander asked. ‘School OK? He was always a bright lad.’

  ‘Oh, I don’t know,’ Lexie said, sighing. ‘He seems to have caught a serious case of Teenager recently. He doesn’t tell me anything any more, about school or anything else.’

  Xander frowned. ‘I hope he’s all right.’

  ‘I’m sure he is.’ Lexie summoned a smile. ‘You know what they get like. There must be a period of about five years where their only form of communication is a grunt.’

  But in her heart of hearts, Lexie didn’t believe Connor was all right at all. She’d been worrying herself sick about him ever since she’d ventured into his room that morning to clear out some of his dirty cups.

  She delivered Nell and Xander’s food order to the cook then went back to the bar, where Theo was preparing a tray of drinks.

  ‘Are you going to tell me what’s up then?’ he asked while he pulled a pint of John Smith’s. ‘You’ve been staring at the walls like a stoned zombie all morning.’

  ‘Connor. What else?’

  ‘Still quiet, is he?’

  She nodded gloomily. ‘I bought him this PC game he wanted, hoping it might cheer him up a bit, but when I suggested inviting his friends over to play it he bit my head off. He never mentions Sophie now, he just shuts himself up in his room.’

  ‘They’ve probably had a lovers’ tiff. First girlfriend, there’s bound to be teething troubles.’

  ‘That’s what I thought. But then I went into his room to get some of the cups he likes to collect in there and I found…’ She lowered her voice. ‘I found a packet of condoms, Theo. Under his bed.’

  ‘Well, yeah. I bought them for him.’

  She frowned. ‘You did what?’

  ‘I bought them. I brought them over when I came round to have my manly talk with him.’

  Lexie glared at him. ‘Bloody hell, Theo! I’m worried enough about the idea he might start having sex before he’s old enough; I could do without his godfather giving it his full endorsement.’

  He held his hands up. ‘Hey, you said you wanted me to do the safe sex talk and I did it.’

  ‘I meant “safe sex” as in the sort that’s one hundred per cent safe because you’re not actually having it. I thought you were going to try to talk him out of it.’

  ‘I did. I just thought that on the off-chance he was going to do it anyway, he ought to have what he needs to do it safely. I don’t think you fancy becoming a glamorous granny in your early thirties, do you? Don’t worry, Lexie, he won’t have actually used them.’

  ‘Yeah? Then how do you account for the fact they were open? Two had been taken out, I counted.’

  ‘Had they?’ Theo frowned for a moment. ‘Oh, I know. I told him to slip a couple in his wallet so he’d be prepared.’

  ‘What?’ She shook her head. ‘Last time I trust you to help me parent.’

  ‘Come on, stop worrying. He won’t have done anything with them. Not Connor.’

  ‘Then why’s he been acting so strangely?’

  ‘Because he’s a kid. They’re strange beasts, that’s what they do.’

  ‘I’ll tell you what I think.’ She gazed morosely at a poster of a sexy blonde woman surrounded by men in uniform bearing the slogan Keep mum – she’s not so dumb! ‘I think he might’ve let things go too far with Sophie and now he’s terrified of the consequences.’

  ‘If he remembered the condoms, you’d hope there wouldn’t be any consequences. Other than emotional ones, I suppose.’

  ‘And legal ones,’ she whispered. ‘They’re underage, Theo.’

  ‘The age of consent exists mainly to protect children from older people who might take advantage of them. They won’t prosecute a couple of kids for sleeping together before they turn sixteen.’

  ‘But Connor might not know that. He’s obviously worrying himself to death about something. He probably thinks the cops are going to turn up and haul him off to jail. Either that or he’s just been traumatised by the whole experience, the poor lamb.’ She sighed. ‘I wish I knew how to get him to talk to me.’

  The phone behind the bar rang, and Theo went to answer it.

  ‘Blue Parrot?’ He frowned. ‘Alexis Whittle? Yes, she works here. Hang on, I’ll put her on.’

  He passed her the handset. ‘For you. I think it might be the school.’

  With a growing sense of trepidation, Lexie put the phone to her ear.

  ‘Hello?’ Her eyes widened. ‘He’s done what? What? Oh my God! Oh, I am so sorry. I don’t know why he… yes, of course, I’ll fetch him at once.’

  ‘Shit, what is it?’ Theo said when she’d hung up. ‘That didn’t sound good.’

  ‘It’s Connor,’ she said in a low voice. ‘He’s been given a three-day suspension for fighting at school.’

  Chapter Eight

  ‘Um, hi,’ Lexie said to the receptionist at Ravenswood Secondary School. ‘Alexis Whittle. I was called in to pick up my stepson.’ Her cheeks burned with mortification. ‘He’s been given a suspension.’

  ‘What year group is your stepson in, Mrs Whittle?’

  ‘Ten. Connor Carson.’

  The woman made a telephone call, and soon Mr Walters, Connor’s head of year, appeared in reception.

  ‘Ms Whittle,’ he said with a warm smile. ‘Thank you for coming in at such short notice. Please, step into my office.’

  She followed him to his office and he gestured to a seat at his desk before taking the one across from her.

  ‘Mr Walters, I’m so sorry,’ she said. ‘I don’t know what could have got into him. Connor’s never been in any sort of trouble like this before.’

  ‘I must admit, I was surprised myself. Connor’s behaviour in school has generally been exemplary, apart from the usual horseplay you might expect among groups of boys.’

  ‘What happened?’

  ‘A fist-fight seems to have broken out between Connor and another pupil in the queue for the canteen. I was reluctant to exclude him, but he bruised the boy’s eye rather badly so I’m afraid this was more than just messing about. School policy is very clear on the punishment for fighting.’

  ‘Yes. Yes, I understand that.’ Suddenly Lexie was hit by an overwhelming urge to cry, and she lowered her head while she fought it back.

  ‘Would you like to take a moment?’ Mr Walters asked.

  ‘No.’ She took a deep breath. ‘No, I… I’m OK. Sorry.’

  ‘Is there anything we as a school ought to be aware of? Any problems at home?’

  Lexie shook her head. ‘Nothing’s changed, if that’s what you mean. His dad and I are still separated. Daryl’s going to be working out in Japan for another nine months and Connor lives with me. That’s the same home situation as he’s been in for over a year now.’

  ‘That must be hard for you,’ he said quietly.

  ‘I get by, mostly. But it is a difficult age, and… well, I suppose most of your Year Ten mums are a fair bit older than I am,’ she said, smiling weakly. ‘I do feel out of my depth with him at times.’

  ‘Connor’s mother is…’ He checked his notes. ‘Oh yes, of course. No longer with us. So you’ve adopted him?’

  ‘No, not officially, but I do have parental responsibility for him along with his father. I mean, if there’s anything I need to sign or… anything.’

  ‘Could his mother’s death be influencing his behaviour? To lose a parent at such a young age is likely to have far-reaching emotional cons
equences long afterwards.’

  ‘I’d considered that myself,’ Lexie said. ‘Connor hasn’t mentioned his mum to me though. If he’s been dwelling on her death, I can’t think what might have triggered it.’

  ‘No new partner for you, anything like that?’

  ‘No, nothing different at all. But Connor has been behaving strangely for a couple of weeks.’

  Mr Walters frowned. ‘In what way?’

  ‘He’s been very quiet, and he seems to have stopped seeing his friends completely outside school. I’ve tried to get him to talk to me, but he’s adamant everything is fine. I thought he might have fallen out with his girlfriend.’

  ‘Ah. There’s a girlfriend in the equation, is there?’ Mr Walters said. ‘Well, that might account for it.’

  ‘Who was the student he was fighting with? Are you allowed to tell me?’

  Mr Walters glanced down at an incident report. ‘A boy named Daniel Anderson.’

  She frowned. ‘Crucial?’

  ‘Pardon?’

  ‘Oh, sorry. Crucial: that’s what the other boys call him. No one seems to remember why.’ Lexie shook her head. ‘That doesn’t sound right. Daniel’s a friend of Connor’s.’

  ‘According to this report, it was an incident of name-calling that caused Connor to start the fight. The other boy will of course be disciplined too, but Connor’s admitted it was he who was the instigator.’

  Again, that didn’t sound right to Lexie. Those boys were always calling each other names and play-fighting, it was part of how they bonded. Why should Connor suddenly fly into a rage?

  ‘This isn’t like him at all,’ she said to Mr Walters. ‘Really, I can’t understand it. Connor’s always been a very gentle boy.’

  Mr Walters stood up. ‘Well, I think that a heart-to-heart might be in order when you get him home. He clearly has some issues he’d benefit from talking about.’

  * * *

  Connor didn’t speak a word on the drive home. He just sat in the passenger seat, hugging his rucksack. Lexie didn’t say anything either. She wasn’t sure what to say. Half of her just wanted to give the boy a big hug, while the other half was in favour of grounding him for the rest of his natural life.

  ‘I’m going to my room,’ he muttered when they got back to the house.

  ‘You’re doing no such thing,’ she told him. ‘Living room. Now.’

  ‘I don’t want to talk about it, Lexie.’

  ‘What you want and what’s going to happen are two very different things, young man. Do as you’re told.’

  He glared at her for a moment, then threw down his schoolbag and stomped into the living room.

  Lexie followed him in and pointed to the sofa. ‘Sit down.’

  He flung himself down, and she took a seat in the armchair.

  ‘So are you going to tell me you’re not angry, you’re just disappointed?’ he said.

  ‘You’re right, Connor, I’m not angry. Bloody furious is what I am! Now do you want to explain yourself?’

  He shrugged. ‘Crucial was being a dick.’

  ‘Crucial’s always being a dick. That’s no reason to give him a black eye.’

  He shrugged again.

  Lexie sighed. ‘Con, I genuinely just want to help. Can you at least give me a clue? I won’t punish you if you can explain.’

  ‘Fuck, Lexie, just ground me and get it over with. You’re not my mum.’

  Lexie recoiled as if she’d been slapped.

  It was perfectly true: she wasn’t his mum. She often prefaced some parental act by mentioning that fact. But never, in all the years she’d been responsible for him, had Connor ever thrown it in her face like that. She’d anticipated that ‘you’re not my real mum’ might make an appearance sometime in the teen years, but still, she was surprised by how much it hurt.

  ‘No. I’m not,’ she said quietly. ‘You know I care about you as much as if I was though. When you’re unhappy, I want to fix it.’

  ‘Well you can’t.’ Connor looked like he was struggling to hold back tears. ‘I’m not a little kid any more. You can’t stick on a plaster, give me a hug and make it all OK.’

  ‘Don’t I know it,’ Lexie muttered.

  ‘Can I please just go to my room?’

  She sighed. ‘Yes, go. You might as well.’

  ‘Am I grounded or what?’

  ‘Of course you’re bloody grounded. I’m taking away your Wi-Fi privileges too. You can have them back on Friday, if you manage to avoid punching anyone until then.’

  ‘Fine. I don’t care.’ His face working feverishly as he fought to hold off tears, Connor stomped off upstairs.

  When he was gone, Lexie, too, found herself overcome by tears.

  She’d lost him, hadn’t she? This time, she’d really lost him. What was it? Sex? Drugs? Self-harm? Bullying?

  ‘Oh… God.’ She gave a wet laugh and wiped her eyes. ‘All right, Lexie. Crying’s no good to you. Bloody well fix it.’

  She took out her phone and pulled up Janette Cavendish’s number.

  ‘Janette, hi, it’s Lexie,’ she said when Sophie’s mum answered. ‘Have you got five minutes?’

  ‘Of course. Is it about the festival?’

  ‘No, it’s about Connor. The sleepover two weeks ago.’

  ‘Oh. Yes. I’ve been meaning to call you about that actually.’

  Sophie’s mother sounded faintly guilty, and Lexie felt a surge of worry.

  ‘Why, is there something I need to know?’ she asked. ‘I hope Connor didn’t do anything wrong.’

  ‘There was something, yes.’ She sighed. ‘I’m so sorry, Lexie. Sophie’s always been such a good girl; I can’t think where she got it from.’

  Lexie’s stomach lurched. Oh God. Drugs, was it drugs? Was it one of the really bad ones – heroin, cocaine, meth? Please, please don’t let it be that…

  ‘Where she got what, Janette?’ she asked, trying to keep her voice steady.

  ‘The vodka. I found her and the boys passing a bottle between them. I took it away from them at once, of course. I’m sorry, I ought to have told you as soon as it happened.’

  ‘Vodka?’ OK, not meth then. Lexie let herself breathe.

  ‘I really am so sorry,’ Janette said. ‘Trust me, it won’t happen again. It’s a case of once burned, twice shy as far as me and her dad are concerned.’

  ‘There wasn’t anything else? I wondered if Connor and Sophie had had some sort of falling out.’

  ‘Yes, I wondered that myself. Sophie’s been ever so upset. She says Connor’s ignoring all her messages.’

  ‘You wouldn’t know why, would you? I can’t get a word out of him.’

  ‘I honestly can’t think. Sophie tells me they didn’t have any sort of row; he just stopped speaking to her. They seemed perfectly happy at the sleepover.’

  ‘They didn’t… look, I’m sorry to have to ask, but I need to know. They definitely kept to their own rooms all night, didn’t they?’

  ‘Oh yes, you don’t need to worry about that. Her dad and I were very vigilant in that respect.’

  Lexie breathed a sigh of relief. ‘Well, that’s one weight off my mind anyway. Thanks, Janette.’

  When she’d ended the call, she rang the Fosters and spoke to Oliver’s dad. All she could discover from him was that Oliver, too, seemed to be getting the silent treatment from Connor. Lexie hung up feeling she was still none the wiser.

  She went up to Connor’s room and knocked softly on the door.

  ‘Con? Can I come in, love?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Well, do you want to come down and have some dinner then?’

  ‘I’m not hungry.’

  ‘I, um… I spoke to Sophie’s mum. She told me about the vodka.’

  ‘Right. So ground me a bit more then. I only had a few mouthfuls.’

  ‘I’m not going to ground you. I just want to know what’s bothering you.’

  ‘Nothing. I’m fine. Just leave me alone.’

  Sighing, she
went back downstairs and slumped on the sofa. Tears pricked her eyes again.

  She ought to go back to work, but she felt completely wiped out. Parenting today felt as draining as a nasty dose of the flu. Besides, she didn’t want to leave Connor alone. She was starting to seriously worry he might be clinically depressed or something.

  Lexie took out her phone and dialled the restaurant.

  ‘Blue Parrot?’

  ‘Theo, hi. It’s me.’

  ‘Lex? You sound awful. Is Connor OK?’

  ‘No. No, I don’t think he is.’ Unable to stop herself, she burst into tears again. ‘Theo, I don’t know what to do. I can’t get through to him at all. I’m terrified he’s addicted to something or cutting himself or Christ knows what.’

  ‘Hey,’ he said gently. ‘Now, don’t be upset. It’ll be nothing more than a fall-out with his girlfriend, you’ll see.’

  ‘It’s more than that, I know it. Look, can you ask Charlene if she’d cover my shift this afternoon? I’ll do hers on Saturday. I really don’t want to leave him alone at the moment.’

  ‘Of course. Don’t worry about us, we’ll manage.’ He paused, listening to her soft sobs down the line. ‘Are you going to be OK, Lex?’

  ‘I’ll be fine.’ She wiped her eyes on her sleeve. ‘I just wish I knew where to go from here.’

  Chapter Nine

  Charlene – one of two other servers who worked part-time at the Blue Parrot – was happy to cover Lexie’s shift, but Theo found himself struggling to focus that afternoon in the restaurant. All he could think about was Lexie, and Connor.

  She’d sounded so upset. He could still hear her voice, choked with sobs. While he’d done his best to reassure her it was probably nothing serious, Theo couldn’t help worrying too. Surely Connor couldn’t have got himself into anything dangerous? He was hardly the type to dabble with drugs – Theo would be surprised if the boy had ever so much as puffed on an illicit cigarette, let alone anything stronger. Then again, he’d never been the type to get into fights before either.

  Poor old Lex. She had so much to deal with nowadays. He felt a too-familiar surge of anger towards the man he’d once believed to be his best friend as he thought about how Daryl had walked out on his family, leaving his young wife to raise his son alone. Theo was hardly a shining example of responsible adulthood, but if – God and all his angels forbid – he ever found himself unlucky enough to have a baby on the way, you could be damn sure he’d step up to the plate.